Story: Diary Of A Broke Playboy


    Yesterday’s morning was one of those mornings when you wake up and you don’t even know what you want to do with your life. Those mornings you would come up from your bed, pick up a kitchen stool, sit in the veranda and wonder if you had any dreams last night, if it was Chinwe that was romancing you in your dream or Ifunanya that bought you a wrist watch. I merely brushed my teeth and strolled out to a popular spot where the guys in my hood normally met to sample pas*ing girls, discuss the games they were going to stake on or talk about how posh their wedding in Dubai will be when they can’t even afford a plate of rice for their girlfriends. I sat in the company of some guys who like me had nothing to do that morning. They were talking about how Manchester United destroyed their various betting tickets. I was just there listening and hissing. Like 5 minutes after I got there. Across the road from where we sat, a fight was about to break out between two teenage girls, one was light skinned and the other was Chocolate. We paid little attention to them. Everybody had his own problem. I Managed to grab some words from their vulgar exchange. They were fighting over some guy. Before long, they were both pulling at each other. They had no hair on their head so they resorted to pulling on their clothes. I was expecting the guys with me to go and do something, instead they sat and just stared at them while they continued calling on their village deities on Manchester United’s head. Me too, i stared on like i was live on MONDAY NIGHT RAW. “I swear that girls breast has stretch marks” one of the guys with me shouted. As if on cue, the chocolate girl tore at the light skinned girls top and a part of her breast showed. There were clear marks on it. The guys shouted yeeeeey. I looked at the guy and asked him how he knew about the stretch mark. “Guy you be learner o, So you no know say na because of me them dy fight” the guy told me with a thick mark of indifference on his face. I looked at him with utter disbelief, got up, wiped the dust from my trouser and left them. I looked once more at the girls, they were already as dirty as they can be and were pinning each other on the electric pole. I could hear the guys change their topic. They were talking about stealing the wire on the pole since NEPA hardly brought light. I hissed and continued on my way to Ifunanya’s house. My dreams usually come true and i needed that watch. So i was in a bus on my way to the market to buy a trouser for church service. The next day being Sunday and i needed to look good for that girl that had caught my eyes since the first day i saw her. My Facebook messenger binged. I opened it and it was my new Ghana girl. She said hi, I said hello. We started our usual chats. I usually don’t like going far with girls that i’m sure wont be of any benefit to me. So our chat was mainly about what she ate, how she ate, the color of what she ate and who cooked what she ate. You know the usual Facebook chat. So i decide to check out her Facebook photos once more. I saw she had uploaded new pictures. These ones were clearer than the ones she uploaded in the past. I seemed to notice that all her features were clearer here and she has joined Facebook bad gang. The ones that purposely flash their b**bss and booty at the camera. My horny mind set it. So i decided to take the convo deeper. Me: so what are you doing? Her: I’m about to take my bath, you? Me: well, am on my way to the market. So can I join you in the bath? Her: sure, i will increase the bath water. Me: just pull off and wait for me. Her: kk, I’m waiting boo…… The conversation got more kinky. My Dick had already tripled in size. We were both enjoying ourselves. We were at the peak of it all when the bus came to a halt. My dick was still as hard as olumo rock. I looked up from my phone and everybody was alighting from the bus. I noticed i had gotten where i was supposed to get down. The conductor looked at me. Me: I never reach my bus stop naa Conductor: Oga na here we dy stop o. I looked at him with sweat all over me and observed my dick,. In my mind i was like “Oga go down naa”. Only God knows how i managed to leave there that day with my erection. These days. I have learnt to pocket my phone anytime I’m in a bus.


    On this Friday i just needed to vent. You know that moment when all of your body itches you and you just don’t know why. Nothing seems to interest you and you just feel weak. So I was in this particular mood that day and I needed to let it out on someone. And was looking for a prey. My whatsapp binged. I took a look and it was Chinaza, my girlfriend. Finally, a victim. We started our chat. I have to confess, i was quite annoying but she persisted. Maybe that’s why she’s my main chic. She cares a lot. I was determined to vent all my anger on her. So as i was going hard on her. I guess she figured out something was wrong and started to pet me, asking what the matter was. I kept maintaining nothing was wrong while being a total Sadist. A while later when she probably got tired, she called my phone. Her: what’s wrong? Me: I told you nothing was wrong naa Her: are you sure? Me: yea. Was that why you called? Her: not really Me: so? Her: well, i didn’t see my period Me: who did you give it to? Her: you. Me: Really? Her: be serious for once naa. Something hit me on my mind immediately. It dawned on me that she said she didn’t see her period. The implications seemed to simmer into my head. I pause and continued, this time with much concern in my voice. Me: how come, did you check well, i mean is your period supposed to start now? Her: yea. Its 3 days late and i’m scared like this o. By this time, my voice was real shaky. I couldn’t even afford a condom talk more of affording a baby. Me: But i have always been careful naa. How come? Her: i don’t know o. Shey i told you to buy condom that day but you were too drunk to care. Me: nawa o. Baby are you sure? Her:Nop, i’m not sure, i just like it more when you are scared than when you are angry. Just buy me a sanitary pad when coming. Love you. Bye bye. She laughed hard and dropped the phone. By this time i had totally forgotten i was feeling somehow. That girl shaa. She is crazy but i think thats why i love her. Recently i have been bored and that increased my activities on facebook. And so i met this new girl. Judging from her pictures, she was posh in all ramifications. So we got talking. She was a jambite seeking admission into my school. I smiled at the prospect of hanging out with a jambito. I calculated they would be cheaper to run around with. Long story short, i asked her out. After much whining and shakara from her, she accepted. We fixed a date, . Exchanged numbers and started looking forward to our meeting. On a Monday afternoon like this, i was on my bed, half sleeping and half recovering from the little torment my babe, Chinaza gave me. That girl shaa. My phone rang, i hurriedly picked and shouted a coarse hello into the mouthpiece. A very melodious female voice came up from the other end. Me: Hello, na who be this? Caller: Hi, its Rita, remember? Me: Rita kwa? Rita from where? Caller: Hey, you’ve forgotten already? We were supposed to be meeting today. My head rang gbagam, i jumped up from my bed. Me: yea Rita right, where are you now? Rita: I’m about to leave my house. Just wanted to make sure it’s still going down. Me:Ok, you can start coming, call me when you get to the school gate. Immediately we dropped the call. I quickly grabbed my towel, ran into the bathroom, did a quick wash up, i couldn’t even remember if i used soap or not. I dressed up, picked my wallet, counted the 1000 naira notes inside, 5 in total. I slid the wallet in my pocket and ran to James, my friends room. We both lived in the same lodge. He had promised to escort me. He hurriedly dressed up. And we both left the house. I ensured he had some money on him, just in case.


    We were in a keke headed for the school gate when she called. Me: Hey are you there yet? Rita: Yea. We just dropped now. Me: Ok. I will be there soon. Then something like an audio flash back hit me. Me: Did you say “we” Rita: yea, i came with a friend, i didn’t know the way so i needed her to help out. Me: Okay o. Just wait for me. I dropped the call. James just looked at me with a wicked grin on his face and said “Guy, u don enter” “Her friend better be cute too or i go just deny am for there sharp sharp” i said as the keke dropped us. Locating them wasn’t so hard. I observed her from afar and her pictures didn’t lie. She was as cute as she can be. Her friend too wasn’t bad. We approached them. Reintroduced ourselves. James just focused on her friend who’s name was Cynthia. So we moved into the nearest eatery. Got ourselves a seat. Called the waiter. I was going to order for snacks so i could at least have some change in my pocket. Then James asked them to make the order themselves. I just eyed him, he smiled and smacked his lips. “But get us chivita juice first and then take their orders” James was still talking. I was graphically dividing the money in my pocket with my imaginary eyes. The Juice came. We opened it, poured into our various glas*es, started sipping as the girls started making their orders. Rita was representing their interest. “We’ll both take fried rice and chicken with lots of salad on it” James who had his glas* of juice on his lips quickly dropped it on the table. My eyes tripled in size. “Wait, Bae are you two going to share the plate of rice or what?” I asked “Noo, we are getting two” Rita replied. James coughed “Ok o” i said and faced my drink. The waitress came back with two plates of steaming fried rice and huge chicken wings. Only God knows how i managed not to snatch the food for them. As the waitress was leaving she called after her and asked for two cups of ice cream. I stepped hard on James feet under the table. He looked at me and grabbed his glas* of juice and started gulping it. As they were lazily eating their food. We started a conversation. Her friend was a 100 level student of mas* communication in the school. While she was also trying to get admitted into the Same mas* communication department. We talked for a long while. When they were almost done with their food, i got up and made my way to the rest room. Counted my money again. Half cried for my life, urinated and went back to the table only to be welcomed by additional two cups of ice cream and another Chivita juice. I looked at the door, the devil inside me started advising me to make use of the door but i just jejely strolled to our table and sat down. James just managed to cover a good part of his face with his hands and was convulsing with laughter. I just cleared my throat. Called the waitress to get me the bill. The bill arrived, 7,250 naira. I was really tempted to yell at the girls but i managed to control my emotions. I just pulled out the 5000 naira in my pocket, handed it over to James alongside bill, grabbed the new juice and poured a large quantity of it in my glas*, after all i was paying for it. James completed the money and paid. I looked at the girls who were still romancing their food. “well, you girls should just round up and let’s get going” i said “We are through” Rita said and they both picked their handbags. I looked at their plate, the food was still a bit much and the meat was scarcely touched. I and James looked at each other with our mouths open. I nodded and we all left the eatery. “So when are we seeing you guys again?” James asked as we got outside the eatery. “well i will be coming to register for my post ume in 2 weeks time. Maybe we can hook up again” Rita said “hope you guys will sleep over next time” james was still asking “Ermm, till then” Rita replied. James nodded. He felt his pocket and said he forgot his handkerchief inside. He went back inside. I flagged down a tricycle and they both entered. I bade them farewell and asked the driver to move before they would start expecting me to pay their fare. James came out with a nylon which i wasn’t bothered to check because i was fuming inside. “Guy which kind wahala be this naa” i half screamed as James approached me. He looked at me and broke into a laughter. “Guy those girls shaa, na your village people send them like this” he said “And remember you dy owe me 2,250 naira o” I looked at him and hissed. He laughed and suggested we stop a keke to take us back to our lodge. “Na your nyash you go use pay for the keke” i told him Shaa, we walked all the way to our lodge under the hot sun. Immediately we got back. I just crashed on my bed. James came into my room and grabbed my stove. “Guy which level naa, wetin u wan use my stove do” i asked him “i wan use am cook, no worry, i go comot 250 for the money wey you owe as compensation for the kerosene” he laughed and left with my stove. I hissed, got up from the bed and poured a small quantity of Garri in a cup and headed to James room to borrow sugar. As i walked into his room, i saw him cooking the remaining fried rice and chicken those girls had left…. My father has always been like a trusted and performing government to me, not for any reason other than he pays my allowances as and at when do. My alert came in at the last Friday of the month so i decided to flex it out the next Sunday. I invited my girl over. She told me she would be coming with a friend of hers. Me: why naa, you want to add additional expenses on my head abi? Chinaza: nooo, bae you know i won’t do anything like that Me: So why would you come with her? Abi you want to find me a 2nd girlfriend? Chinaza: you must be silly, i’m here saying you are not even enough for me and you are talking about sharing.. Me: Biko stop, lets not start fighting on the phone because it is my airtime that you will be wasting. Chinaza: Baby of course you know i don’t like fighting you on the phone, i will rather do it physically where i can beat sense into you. I laughed Me: so be serious jare, why would you be coming with someone extra. Chinaza: Well, i’m bringing her for that your poke noser of a friend, james who keeps following you around. At least she will keep him busy, while i will have you to my self alone. Me: Hahahaha, ok naa. I hope she is not a glutton or we will split the bill o. Chinaza: stingy boy, as if we don’t split the bills before. Me: You better look cuter than her or I’m going to hand you over to James and rock her. Chinaza: And you better have enough money on you Sunday came, by 2pm i was already out of the house with my usual culprit, James. We were headed for an open air restaurant. I called my babe, she was still taking her bath. Good news for us. We decided to sample the available girls. My eyes caught one pretty looking girl. She was seated alone. I quickly dropped James and walked to her. “Hmmm, i think its soothing to find out that I’m not the only one without company” i said pulling a seat and joining her table. She looked at me and smiled and faced her phone again. “even though i’m already seated, i’m still going to ask, can i join you? “Umm, i guess yes” she said smiling at me. We got talking. Her name was sandra, she was waiting for a friend of hers. I decided should her friend come, to invite James over. I needed to know this girl. My phone vibrated. I took a look and it was James. I stared in his direction. He was already on his second bottle of Heineken and was flashing his teeth at me. I opened my whatsapp and texted him. “Guy i hope those two bottles are not on my account o” “Before nko, na your papa carry me come here?” he replied I just sent him hmmm and focused back on my new friend. I ordered two bottles of smirnoff for her and two bottles of Heineken for me. I cannot be buying Heineken for James and be drinking Malt. Its my money after all. We were still talking before my phone rang again, i looked and it was James. I looked at him again and he was on his 3rd bottle. He was asking me to come over. I eyed him and continued my convo. He walked up to me, said hello to the girl and faced me. “Guy, the door dy crowded o” I looked at the door and my girl was there. She didn’t see me, thank God. She was focused on her phone. I quickly excused myself, James kept my new catch company to my utter dismay. That guy is capable of anything. I was praying he doesn’t lie to her that he was the one paying for the drinks or order another one. I approached my girl, she was really looking sweet. “So who delayed you today?, were you counting beans for your mother ” i asked her. She hugged me and smiled “sorry boo, i was waiting for my friend who said she was bringing another friend of hers” she said smiling My face froze. I looked at her with a deep frown on my face “Did you say her friend?” “Yea baby, whats wrong with your face? “Abeg stop all this baby thing, anytime you want to misbehave, you start looking for who to call baby” “Babe chill naa, you know i won’t let you bear the pains alone” “Abi, lets go before this Stupid James buys drinks for everybody here with my money” We walked up to James and our new friend and i was disappointed. James was on his 4th bottle of Heineken and Sandra was taking her 3rd bottle of smirnoff. “Hey, our girl is here” James half screamed, he was obviously getting drunk. They exchanged pleasantries. “So sandra meet my guy’s most beautiful girl, Chinaza, and chinaza meet my new friend, Sandra” James introduction was totally inspired by alcohol. Chinaza ignored him, looked at sandra and smiled. “So Ada i was waiting for you in the house and you ran here before me enjoying yourself naa” Chinaza said grabbing a seat.


    I just stood stupefied. James was just looking at me with his mouth open. I sat down. Looked at Sandra who was now smiling and turned to my girl. “So this is the friend you were waiting for? I asked her. She laughed and Said yes. I was really confused and heartbroken. Now James was going to enjoy the girl i bought drinks for. I became confused on whether to freak out on the new drinks James ordered or to be happy Chinaza lied about her friend bringing another friend. Well shaa, i just bought more drinks. We did have fun. That is, drunk people’s fun. After about 2 to 3 bottles, i was motivated to buy more drinks and well peppered chicken wings. Men that Sandra girl is qualified to be called a village drunkard. As we were talking and enjoying ourselves, Sandra’s phone rang. Sandra: Hello babe, just walk in, you will see us. She cut the call and said that’s her friend coming in. Apparently Chinaza didn’t lie, Her friend was bringing another friend. I was financially drained that day, spent so much that my Girl was the one that paid for our transport home that day. Even James too felt the heat. But the after party was just like an after party. Fun was the name. I don’t need to tell you what a drunk girl can do. Chinaza was just a sweetheart. Their friend was Hot personified. Her name was Juliet. While my baby was fixing us dinner in the kitchen, i was busy playing Romeo with Juliet. We were all drunk, my girl didn’t mind. Chinaza was drunk but not too drunk to share me with anybody. She slept between me and Juliet. We went to bed by 2 am in the morning. Something happened on the bed between me, chinaza and Juliet. I can’t remember but maybe Juliet knows. Don’t bother asking Chinaza or You will be getting a story from me about our divorce. And did i say she didn’t share me that night, lol. Am only BROKE not a CELIBATE. School has just gone on vacation for the second semester. But I wasn’t in any hurry to go home. I had earlier been informed by my junior sister that my father had earlier declared to be an agent of change and had decided to diversify our family’s economy. He recently bought a large portion of land and had gone into farming. The last time he went into this venture, we, his children were his laborers, we did most of the farm activities, the only difference was that we weren’t paid and we ended up harvesting near to nothing. So this time around, i decided i wasn’t going to be a party to such furtile, strenuous and unproductive affair. I decided to stay back at school while everyone was going home for the holidays. James my Friend, was from a part of Ebonyi state that were predominantly farmers. His father also practiced this business but on a larger scale. He too decided to stay back for sometime before going home to as*ist his family. Life wasn’t much easy and we were running short on money and food. We soon resorted to fasting from 6 am to 12pm. Then we smoke over soaked garri in the afternoon. By 5pm we cook 2 packets of indomie and for the night we just played games on my Playstation console before we sleep. I usually trashed James every night and that reduced my hunger atimes and increased his.. Then our break came. On a Saturday like this, James’ 27 games coupon all clicked green. That was a total of 153,725 naira. I made sure i had the exact amount off hand just in case James tried to play his usual fast games on me. Our once quiet lodge became noise once again. Just the two of us made the noise of 6 people. Afterall, our suffering had ended at that point. The next Sunday morning, we were the first at Church service and unlike before, we occupied the front row to resist the urge of ogling at cute choir girls. We needed no temptation to deter us from thanking God for his immerse blessing on us. We even gave 200 naira offering each unlike before that we would just stand at the back row and be clapping and dancing more than those who were going for their offerings. “So guy wey my eye wey see naa” i asked him as we prepared to enter town that Sunday afternoon. “Eye wey see kwa? U follow me book game abi na your papa give me money wey i take book am” he said while dressing his shoe lace. “Guy na from your hand i sabi say Ebonyi people dy stingy o, so you wan tell me say you no fit give me even if na that last 5 naira wey dy the 153,725k ” “Nawa o, this man wetin be your own, no be outing i dy carry you go like this, i tire for you o” he said and stood up to adjust his trouser. “You don get small money nah, you don tire for me” i said. He smiled and sat besides me, hung his hand on my shoulder “Baba, why you go dy talk like this naa, you know you be my nigga, how you go dy complain like my babe naa, okay, i go give you 2k” “2k only, guy give me 5k, at least my pocket gats to be heavy as we dy comot like this” “you get small big eye o, u forget say we go dy chop for this house and we no get foodstuffs ” “Oya naa, bring the 2k, at all at all na im bad pas*” i said stretching out my palm “I don collect am for that 2k wey you owe me after that your Secondary school girl visit ” he ran outside laughing while i flung my shoe after him. We got to our destination 3 minutes later.. It was a hotel. Not so big but it had what we needed. We secured a seat and started looking to be attended to. We often prefer waitresses to waiters. Which guy wouldn’t. We ordered 2 bottles of Heineken each along with two plates of steaming chicken peppersoup. We were done with it in like 15 minutes. Apart from being hungry, we just didn’t come there to get drunk, we also needed to look around. James ordered another set of drinks, 1 bottle for each of us. I kept mine on the table and excused myself. I can’t be on a table drinking with my fellow guy. I’m not Gay abeg. I left the hotel premises and went outside to urinate. I unzipped and started urinating. I looked around and noticed one girl was staring at me. I tilted my head and looked at myself from the angle she was and noticed nothing was odd or unusual. Nawa o. I looked back at her and she was giggling at me. I grabbed my joystick and backed her. Finished my urination and turned again in her direction and there she was, standing like 6 feets away from me. “Hi, its like you don’t remember me” she said smiling, which revealed a set of perfect white set of teeth “Noo, tell me” “Ar ar, its cynthia naa, Rita’s friend” “Wow, Cynthia was*up naa” i said and gave her a tight hug, her b**bss were firm, she smelled nice and my joystick responded accordingly but I wasn’t going to let it disgrace me today. “I’m cool, long time” she said as we withdrew “i’m fine shaa, looks like someone is taking you out” “Not really, i came on my own, school has vacated and everywhere is boring” “Obviously” I observed her from her cute face down to her curvy body, her hair was braided and knotted neatly at the back of her head with a pink strip, she wore a pink men she was sharp. “Since i’m alone too, care to join me?” “Errm, no problem.” she said I slid my arm around her very rounded waist. And we both walked back into the hotel. On getting to our table, James was already emptying the 2nd bottle of drink he had brought for me, and in his company was another girl. I brought two more chairs for myself and cynthia. We both sat and introduction was made. The new girl’s name Anita. Coincidentally she and cynthia were in the same faculty. We made more orders. I made sure i was at the head of the ordering committee. Soon our table was littered with more drinks and meats to go along. James probably never remembered he was the one paying or he was too drunk to care.


    That sunday was really lit. At least, for once i was glad at the prospect that we weren’t going to be trekking home. Our table was cleared around 5 o’clock. None of us was in a hurry to go home. James suggested we take a stroll around. “that’s not cool, i think we should hit the pool.” i said and James eyed me like he just caught me stark naked on his mother. I smiled and led the way. The girls were only too glad to follow. At the pool, we all stripped. The girls down to their pants and bra and us down to our singlet and boxers. We were all too drunk to care. We did everything there except have sex. Cynthia was dope and funky. That girl can kiss for Africa. Anita wasn’t bad at all. We rounded up at the pool by 8pm. Chartered a keke which drove us back to our lodge. I went into my apartment with cynthia while James went into his with Anita. Inside my room, i manage to get rid of my shoes and quickly grabbed cynthia and pulled her closer. Locked my lips on hers and we both chewed each other. My hands were all over body, squeezing her as* like i wanted to extract juice from it. She too got her hands on my already enlarged Di*k and was doing her best to rip it off. I grabbed her zipper and tore it open, i was going to pull her trouser off when my door banged open. We pulled apart and stared at the door only to see James dragging his mattress inside while Anita followed behind with pillow and bedsheets. “guy was*up naa” i asked staring at them. “Guy just continue ur business” he said as he adjusted the mattress on the floor. “ok o. Just close my door and off the lights” i said as cynthia fell back into my arms and we locked up again. The lights went off. I could hear James and Anita’s lips clicking in the dark, i dropped cynthia on the bed, managed to locate her waist and tore down her trouser along with her pants. I removed mine too and fell on her, stark naked. My erection was so hard i was scared my dick would rip open, i grabbed her tongue with my teeth while i inserted my fingers into her dripping pus*y, her body convulsed and she hugged me to her body and nearly tore off my lips,I gently inserted my di*k into her hole and she moaned, i started thrusting slowly, she grabbed me by the small of my back and entwined her legs around me, i increased the tempo, i was banging her really hard, she held my neck and drew me tighter to her body as she let out a couple of audible moans, i was going out of control, i snatched myself from her tight grip, pinned her to the bed with my hands on her torso and the real smashing started, i could swear I was going 8 thrusts per second and her screams were increasing by the second. I pulled her up from the bed, rotated 360 degrees and we switched position, she climbed me and started going hard as she screamed more, we were very oblivious of our companions who obviously didn’t care as they tried to outdo us with noise. She rode for like 2 minutes before i grabbed her by the neck, pulled her down and french kissed her, then i rotated her again. She fell with her back to the bed, i pulled her up, got her on all fours, i flicked my fingers on my mouth, got them wet and then went ahead to locate her as*hole, she was still shaking and asking for me inside her. I started thrusting gently before going in hard again, the more she screamed, the more i was turned on and the harder i went. she let up her two legs into the air and so wide apart, this let me go in much deeper as i reduced the speed of my thrusts to let us catch our breaths. She pulled down my lips on hers and engaged me in a pas*ionate kiss while she interlocked my body on hers with her legs chocking my back, then she came. It was so violent she shook like she was on an epileptic seizure, she held my lips with her teeth as the fluid poured on the bed. She called me names and said so many sweet things to me, sweet things that are capable of causing diabetes. I disengaged myself from her grip and went hard again. It was my turn to Cum, as the sensation came over me, i went harder, if her pus*y had an elastic limit, i swear it would have permanently been disfigured. I planted my lips on hers to suppress the yell i was about to let out. And then i came, inside of her. The bed was all wet as we were through. I observed James and Anita and they too were also done. We switched on the light and my room was like a scene from the movie Spartacus, four naked adults. We flipped the mattresses over to avoid sleeping on wet cums. We switched off the lights again. I and cynthia cuddled under the sheets and went into another round of kissing. I woke up the next morning with a slight headache. My eyes went straight to the clock and the time was 10 am. I turned to observe Cynthia who’s head was resting on my chest only to see it was Anita that was on me. I remembered waking up in the middle of the night to another round of sex. Could it be that these two girls switched in the night. “Cynthia what are you doing on me” James screamed and we all burst out laughing. I turned to Anita, kissed her on the lips, she opened her legs and i humbly entered like a lamb being led to slaughter…


    Life for us the next few days was the best we ever had. At least we ate 2 healthy square meals at choice restaurants and drank ourselves to bed. We decided to spend one more week at school before hitting home, our parents were starting to complain and my father, to my utter dismay was needing extra hands to help weed his farm. Chinaza, my main chic had just rounded up her exams and was preparing to join her parents at home. She was studying economics in one of the states University and was in her 200 level. I pleaded with her to come and spend the remaining one week with me before we can both go home together. We lived in the same street and both our families were really close. “See eh Sweetheart, I really think your love for me is fading” she said over the phone with a voice that gave me boners. “How can you say something like that, eh my jollof rice” “Yes naa, you expect me to come and join you in that your lodge with all the hunger surrounding you for one whole week, so that when i reach house, my people will be thinking you have given me HIV abi” “So you are now saying i have HIV abi?” “Noo, just that you are the first person my people will suspect in case.. ” ” Abeg just Carry that your big mouth and come over here, otherwise if you go home without my consent, don’t ever call me baby again o” she laughed and asked me who else was with me. “James naa” “Hmmm, so?, are you two going to share me? ” ” Who will share you?, its like you haven’t realized you are my private property ” Our call ended on the basis that she would be coming the next day. Along with her friend Sandra. I managed to secure 10k from James before the stingy spirit descends on him again. Naza arrived with sandra the next day by 3pm. She called me to come and pick them up at the bus stop. I dragged James along who was sleeping and had earlier refused to go with me, he obliged only when I told him that i would lock Sandra up in my room and he would never smell her perfume talk more of seeing her, and he knew what Chinaza was capable of. We chartered a Keke as usual and left to meet them. We got there within 3 minutes. Immediately we alighted, My baby ran to me with her arms outstretched and Jumped on me. Lucky i ate that morning or both of us would have kissed the dust. She held me tight for about 30 seconds before letting go. I held her hand up and spun her around 360° and her curves were still… Curvy. She was looking fresh, smelling nice, and her fair skin tone was just healthily fair. I looked around and saw James was already grabbing Sandra by the hips. We packed their stuffs into the waiting keke and headed home. We got home, unpacked and headed out together to eat. We didn’t eat much. Just what our body needed. We now have to economize since it’s now four people but a little alcohol wasn’t out of place. We always needed it and my friend loved it more. We entered our lodge around 7 pm. We camped at my room, played games on my console. Chinaza was good, but i was still the boss, she was a boss lady cos her Boo was the boss. We trashed James and Sandra until they suggested we danced. We played music on my home theater with its wicked bas*, we danced the drink we took earlier on out of our system, those two girls knew just exactly what to do with their as*ets. Chinaza was going wild and Sandra was right behind her, we switched after some time and then switched over again. We rocked each other until we were exhausted, i fell on my bed and Chinaza fell on me and engaged my lips. James dragged Sandra out and into his room and banged the door shut. I smiled, turned Naza on the bed, got on top of her. My hands shot its way into her bra and soon my fingers were on her nipples, She pushed my hand away and withdrew herself. “Why? ” i asked looking at her as she got up from the bed, i was praying her madness wasn’t going to ruin this Night. ” Bae, nothing, lemme change ” she said and opened the wardrobe, pulled off her clothes and threw them inside. I was staring at her beautiful and hourglas* shaped body from the back, i was busy thanking God she was mine when i noticed she had frozen like she saw a snake. “What is this?” she asked picking something from the floor of the wardrobe “what? ” i asked getting up from the bed. She turned in my direction clutching a black g-string pant in her hands.. I knew for sure my night was ruined..


    For like 7 seconds, i stared at her like i didn’t know what she was talking about or recognize what she was holding but the truth was, in my mind, i was searching for the perfect lie to blow. “Who’s is it” she asked again “I don’t know, isn’t it yours?” i said with a little stammer “You and i know i don’t wear g-strings” she said calmly which surprised me but i knew the heat was coming. “Yea its true, maybe i should ask James ” my brain was betraying me, it couldn’t come up with any lie. “So James now wears g-strings, eh Chinecherem?” she said looking me in the eyes. She called me by my first name, in full, it then dawned on me that we were in for a long night. “Naza, i don’t really know, please let’s not start this now eh sweetie” i said trying to get closer to her, she pushed me away, i fell on the bed. “Chinecherem who left her pants in your wardrobe, i’m asking you, answer me o” she yelled at me, i just sat there looking at her. I was busted big time but i was careful not to tell any lie that i would have to contradict in the future. “I don’t really know, i can’t even say how it got there” “well suit yourself” she finally said and threw the pant at me, there was no mistake, there was Cynthia’s scent all over it. I sat on the bed with self Pity written all over me watching my baby as she wore her pants first, then her tights and finally consolidated it with a thick skinny jeans. She pulled my long sleeves shirt from the the hanger and put it on. It then dawned on me that there was nothing for me that night. She pulled the sheets from the bed, hung it around her neck and left the room. I was too weak to do or say anything. James scampered into my room like someone being pursued by masquerades. I heard his door bang shut. “Guy howfar naa, your girl just came into my room and spoiled my fun, imagine she and Anita jointly pursue me comot for my room, wetin happen naa? ” he asked as he jumped into my bed. “Nothing happen guy” i said and sniffed, i felt like crying. “How can you say nothing happened, and she left you to go and join her friend in my room, they wan do lezzy? “Guy na Cynthia forget her pant for my wardrobe, i mean how could a girl forget to wear her pants at a guys house, just tell me if its not the devil that wants to punish me” i said in a low tone with frustration all over my voice. “this is serious gan, what did you tell her? ” “nothing, i didn’t even know how to deny it, i just confuse now now” ” Come make we go talk to her” he said getting up from the bed “its useless, Chinaza won’t even look at your face this night” “Don’t worry, lets try first” he pulled me up and we went to his door. We knocked severally and there was no response. “Naza please let me explain things to you” i begged, hoping she would open. James too was calling on both her and Anita. Finally the door opened and Anita stood there. Behind her, i saw My boo lying on the bed with her face to the wall. “Naza please” i pleaded, she didn’t even move talk more of looking or talking to me. “She doesn’t want to see you” Anita said “Anny at least let us in” James chipped in. Before he could finish, Chinaza got up from the bed, before i could thank God that she was coming out. She got to the door, pulled Anita out and shut it. I looked at James who looked sorry for me but having known him for a long time, i also noticed he was trying very hard not to burst into laughter. Dejectedly i walked back to my room with james behind me. I fell on my bed and shut my eyes. “And i was about to get it on with Anita before this your psycho girl came in” James said and landed besides me on the bed. “When you finish reading your book of lamentations, you off light” I said. “Next time, you should learn to tidy your room before bringing your girl over” James said and hissed. “James eh, Chinaza and Cynthia’s pant has already caused me typhoid, don’t come and add malaria to it, it’s bad enough that i have to share a bed with you when I’m not gay and worse still when my babe dey next door, don’t come and add your bad mouth to it biko” James laughed, got up and switched off the light. Soon he was asleep. For me, i stayed awake throughout the night and only managed to fall asleep by 5am in the morning. I know i was a player and a girl’s disappointment wasn’t supposed to get to me, but Chinaza wasn’t just any girl. She was my Queen.


    I was woken up by a knock on my door, i checked the time and it was 8 am. I climbed over James who was still snoring and walked to the door. I opened it and Anita was there. “Chi Good morning” she said smiling. She looked pretty. “Yea, what’s up” i said as i let her in. “Cool, how was your night?” she asked as she went and joined James who was already up and seated on the bed. She kissed him and sat besides him leaning her head on his shoulder. “Like seriously, you are asking me how was my night when my own boo left me here with this annoying nigga? ” James and Anita laughed. “But it was ur fault naa, you were busy shagging another girl here while she was over there at school playing the good and faithful girlfriend to you” “Hmmm, well how is she?” I asked “You should see her face, she’s been crying since last night and none of us slept o” “Maybe i should go and see her now, what do you think?” i asked looking at her as James was busy fondling her all over. “Urrm, I don’t really know, maybe you should try” she replied while focused on her Romance with James. “Guy free this girl naa make she yarn me something, what’s your own naa” James lauged and pulled her into the bed. “Your girl denied me this last night, na you wan come fu{k me up this morning again abi, if them send you from my village, tell them your car break down for road” he said while he kissed Anita. I smiled and shook my head. Anita shoved him off, sat up on the bed and then faced me. “But you have to be fast and convincing, i only came in here to help her pick her stuffs, she insisted we leave here today ” Anita said. You needed to see the expression on my face and that of James. I didn’t know if my heart stopped beating or the speed tripled. ” What? But you can’t do that” James screamed, “I mean you just got here yesterday and we haven’t even been together, you can’t just leave me here just because someone here has been busy picking other people’s pants, its not fair” James was lamenting. I totally ignored him, went and sat on the bed and bent my head with my hands supporting my chin. “What do i do?” i asked to no one in particular. “I don’t knw o, maybe we’ll just go together to plead with her” Anita said. “Cool lemme brush” i got up and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. “Baby lets finish what we started ” i heard James telling her ” Ode go and brush your teeth” she replied. I smiled sadly. We knocked on James door and there was no response, i went in first while James and Anita stood at the door. Chinaza was seated on the bed with her back against the wall. She looked at me as i walked in softly like i was moving on a mine field, her face was red and swollen from crying, my heart hurt from the thoughts that i was the cause of her tears. I called her Naza, she looked away from me and a string of tear went down her face. I knelt down at the edge of the bed, placed my two hands on the mattress and looked straight at my boo, i didn’t even know where to start. “I don’t know what to say, i know i have been an as*hole and if you decided you were done with me today, i wouldn’t hold it against you cos i deserve every bit of punishment you decide to give to me” the tears refused to come to come to my eyes but they were in my voice and it made her cry more. “Baby before you leave, before you turn your back on me, i would want you to know that you were the only one i ever truly loved and i may never find another you anywhere or in anyone” she turned her face towards me as the tears flowed freely from her eyes. Her tears drew mine, they welled up in my eyes, i blinked and it ran down my cheeks. “I admit it was me, i had no business being with anybody when I had you, when you are there to make my sun shine and Illuminate my moon. Baby you are my world and should there be a day that you walk out of my life, have it in mind that nothing will beat inside my chest again cos you have my heart with you” i sniffed and looked into her eyes, her pupil were all covered with tears as she struggled to keep them from running but it only got worse. “Naza i’m sorry for everything, i swear never to hurt you or make you cry again, baby understand that you are my everything and my everything is you… ” i was running out of words to express my feelings so i just let my tears do it, they weren’t much but i guessed it was something. She wiped her nose with her hand, pulled her self off the wall and came for me. She encircled her legs around my waist and hugged me as she cried more. I kissed her on the neck and circled my hands around her and pulled her tighter to me. To me, it felt like it was just two of us in the world. Then the tears came down my face like a waterfall “I love you so much, i can’t bear losing you or sharing you with anybody, i’ll just die, i’ll die i swear ” She declared amidst her tears. “I’m sorry i made you cry, i swear it will never ever happen again.” i pulled myself from her tight grip and wiped a part of the tears from her eyes. I turned my head towards the door and it was empty. I heard the door to my room close. I smiled and looked at Chinaza, i was still kneeling. Then the lie came into my head. “I’m sorry Sweetheart, the pants were….. ” she cut me short with her finger placed on my mouth “shhhh, i don’t care anymore, just don’t let it repeat itself” she smiled and i saw a new dimension of her beauty. I gently carried her up. Laid her on the bed and planted my lips on hers… Despite being a sucker for girls, i still loved her for what its worth. Though other girls will come, She’s my boo for life...


    Sweet things can kill, translated to Nigerian language, Awoof dey run belle. It has always amused me how the part of my body that gives me the most pleasure has always been the source of my agony most times. I’m young, 21 years and my hormones were still as strong as they could ever be. Many times i have gotten into trouble and half of those times, the culprit had always been my love for them girls. An example of those times that i can recall was with my very naughty course mate Eva. It was the second semester in my 100 level. I’m a student of Estate management at Nnamdi Azikiwe University. I was really close to Eva more than anybody else. We both were two sides of a coin. We f*cked each other for the fun of it, She can make you CUM your brain out if she so desired it. I can’t say we shared love or something like it but we had a certained kind of rapport, we were addicted to each other and everybody knew. Eva was really beautiful and i stuck to her easily cos she was fair, it’s like them use fair chics swear for me. She used me to get rid of guys that were after her and also ensured that she kept me to herself alone. It was on a Friday and we were on an afternoon lecture. Mr Paul, a very saucy lecturer was taking us on land economy. Like always, i had come into the clas* with Eva clutching my hand, she was a very carefree girl and didn’t care that we were late for clas* and attracted attentions. As we both took a seat at the back, mr paul observed over the rim of his spectacle with his big bulging eyes shook his head and continued his lecture. We were alone at the back. The clas* was boring and uninteresting. Mr paul read out his handouts to us more than he explained it, so it was like we were seated in a church and having the gospel being read to us. Eva was a sort of hyperactive girl and could easily be bored. She was shifting uncomfortably in our seat. We couldn’t leave because Mr Paul had his eyes everywhere. “I’m bored and tired” Eva whispered to me. “Everyone is bored and tired so please just relax and don’t put us in trouble ” i whispered back to her with my eyed fixed on mr paul. Eva loved trouble. She shifted closer to me and dropped her left hand on my zipper. I eyed her and she smiled. I couldn’t do much without us being noticed and besides, I knew whatever that was about to happen, i was going to love it. She opened my zipper as stealthy as she could, i Could swear that not even the Zip heard the noise it made. By this time, i had already gotten an erection. With my left hand supporting my chin, i dropped my right hand on her meaty laps and pinched her, hoping she would stop but whenever she wanted something, not even herself could stop her from getting it. She dug her hand through my zipper, parted my boxer and grabbed my already erected di*k. I really wish i could decribe the reaction on my face, i licked my lips and bit it softly. I made sure nobody was paying attention to our little drama, Eva cared less. She rubbed her thumb on the tip of my di*k and it jerked further up, i was blinking three times per second and all the hairs on my body stood up, she then grabbed my pubic hair and twisted them gently, this ran up to my brain, i pulled out her hand and stared at her. “Eva stop please” i whispered to her. She smiled at me and dropped her pen on the floor. I then knew i was finished. This wasn’t her first time of doing something like that. She had done it once in my room when we were studying for our first semester exams. She went under the desk, picked her pen and then grabbed my di*k which was still out of my trouser. I winced as she put it into her mouth and rubbed the tip with her tongue. Eva was giving me a headjob in a lecture hall. She sucked on it for over 30 seconds, i was enjoying myself though i was a little worried we might get caught. Under the desk, i held her hairs for her so they wouldn’t obstruct. I was switching my gaze between her and Mr paul and then i noticed something had changed in the clas*. Mr paul had stopped talking and his gaze was fixed directly at me, and then i CAME. The devil I swear is an original enemy of man. I was having a hard time deciding who was punishing me between God and the devil. I just decided to put the blame on Eva. So mr Paul was staring at me like I was having a difficult time spelling my surname, meanwhile i could feel the hot liquid shooting out of my d*ik and Eva swallowing them oblivious of what was happening around her abi above her. The sensation was too much for me to bear, i just bit hard on my lips as i stared back at Mr Paul, trying hard to suppress a scream. I pulled Eva’s hair a little tighter and she bit hard on my di*k.. I jerked. “Argh, sir, yes sir!” i eventually said craftily covering up my scream of pain and pleasure. “Yes sir what, where is Evangeline? He asked and everyone turned to my direction. I was very sure i had been nabbed. “Umm, i don’t…. ” i was stammering when Eva pocked up her head from under the desk “Picking my pen sir” she said interrupting my stutter and raising her pen up. “picking it up or digging it up” he asked her and everyone laughed. “picking sir” she said and sat down “For how many hours”. “Sir it was far from where my hand could get to” “Okay now, Chiboy, tell us what a PLU is? ” he said and faced me ” PLU sir?” i said asked scratching my head. “Yes, a PLU and stand up when you answer my question” I did Stand but not straight, i managed to hold my erection against the desk. “I don’t really know sir” i said with my hands resting on the desk “fool, Eva can you please help him” she stood up. “A proprietary land unit marks out the the boundaries of a particular piece of a land and shows the rights an owner has over that given piece of land” She sang it out. My jaw dropped open, i didn’t even know the full meaning of a PLU.. “And that was how Esau sold his birthright to Jacob” Mr Paul said and everybody laughed. “Eva you can now take your PLU and leave my clas*, go elsewhere and finish your romance” he said regarding me as the PLU. Again everyone laughed. We both got up. I managed to cover my open zip with my bag and we headed out. “Mr man, are you in your period” our lecturer shouted after me. I looked at my trouser and it was wet at the but*ocks. Probably from cum. Eveyone was staring at me and smiling. “No sir, sometimes I do sweat from my… ” ” Okay, thanks for the information, you can now leave” he said cutting me short. The whole clas* burst into laughter as Eva clutched my hand and we both left. I thanked God Mr Paul had nothing to do with our exam script or grading.

    EPISODE 10

    Before it all started, Before i became who i am, Before the girls, Before the night outs, Before the unlimited and unprotected sex, I was just one cool headed innocent boy who lived a simple life hoping to find true love like the ones i see in movies and praying one of my crushes would look my way. I can safely say i’m a cute guy, chocolate skinned and standing at 5’7″. I have always loved girls and they in turn had loved me back. At an early age of my life, i had always fantasized about meeting the perfect girl and Falling in love. My only barrier was being an introvert. No matter how many number of green lights a girl would give me, i simply could not get myself to open up and prophesy my love for her. One of such girls was a light skinned dame back then in my jss 2, her name was Jennifer. The mention of her name alone sent shivers down my spine and when she smiled at me, her gap teeth, i always looked at them like they were the gate to paradise. Back then, everyone in my clas* knew she was my crush. You know this saying that when a girl loves a guy, only the girl knows but when a guy loves a girl, everyone knows except the girl. We would smile at each other in the clas*room, talk to each other about nothing in particular and most times when my liver was upped, i would hold her hands for sometime and let her know indirectly that i had feelings for her. I had always expected things to fall into place by itself and save me the cost of having to woo her and maybe embarras*ing myself in the end. So my friends decided they were tired of watching me trip for her silently and do nothing about it. One Thursday evening after school had closed. She stayed back because it was her turn to sweep the entire clas* alongside some other clas*mates. My friends decided it was time to let the cat out of the bag. After much coercion and persuasion, i decided to do it. My friends watched from a distance as I approached her from the back, my heart pounding in my mouth. “Jennifer” i called with a shaky voice, she turned in my direction and smiled at me, i froze. “Hey, neche, how are you? ” “I’m fine” i said and started staring at her, i couldn’t even find the words to say, i fixed my gaze at her forehead as I squeezed the paper that was in my hand. After about 15 seconds of a staring match between us in which i could not even look her in the eye, she broke the ice. “Are you not going home yet?” she asked me “Ermm i’m about to” i said and decided to tell it to her anyway, she obviously was feeling me and wouldn’t want to embarras* me i thought. “i just wanted to let you know that….. “i started and was hooked at” THAT”. She looked at me with this expression in her eyes that made me suppose she knew what i was about to say and so much wanted to hear it. “Let me know what?” she said holding my hands and rubbing it. “Erm, just want to let you know that i…. “i continued my stuttering. “Chi talk to me” she said with a great deal of concern on her face and voice. I calmed my nerves and decided to make my last attempt. “i just wanted to ask if you needed help sweeping the clas*” I didn’t even know when I said that. I shaa swept the whole clas* that day. My first date was in my js3. I was so very naive and didn’t seem to understand the concept of the whole dating thing, in short neither of us understood it. We were still kids and knew absolutely nothing about it all except that we were into each other and that it was very necessary we added “i love you” to the end of our discussions and text message. Her name was vivian and i must confess she was too much of a sauce for a guy like me, she was 500°c hot. You know that particular type of girl that when you see her, your whole self esteem drops to low bar and that would be if it doesn’t die, Vivian was that type of girl and more but she loved me with everything she’s worth. Everyone around called her “Fresh air”. It was on an October, few weeks after school had resumed for the first term session. Like i said, i was in my jss3 and i was the clas*captain. One peculiar thing about me was that i loved being late to everything even when i’m not supposed to. I could count the number of times i attended Morning as*emblies in my secondary school period. So that early morning, as usual i had been late and missed the morning as*embly which was often deliberate, everyone had settled in their clas*rooms. I waltzed into my clas* like a boss, i was their boss naa. My eyes fell to the back and then I saw this very lovely Ebony girl. She was so easy to notice cause she wore hostel wear instead of the school uniform and she was seated on my seat or desk if i was to call it that. From where i stood i could see the color of her panties through her legs which she had spread with reckless abandon. I could remember vividly what she wore that day, it was a white pant, i wasn’t being a pervert. It was just like when you are pas*ing by a house and the gate was thrown wide open, you know most definitely you are going to take a peek into the compound. Just so you know i wasn’t looking out for her under wears, it was just a little impossible to pas* unnoticed. I walked up to her and asked her to adjust, she did and i sat down. My clas* that year was one full of nosy people, it wasn’t long before they started pairing me up with her. Vivian could talk and body contact was a thing she was very good at and she didn’t spare me any of it. She was sexily built with a figure 8 kind of body that made heads turn anytime she pas*ed by. Her breasts were full and jiggled anytime she walked. I remember once she had walked into the clas* and everyone’s gaze was fixed on her. As she walked through the door, her b**bss moved first and it was like they dragged other parts of her body along. Everyone turned in her direction and as if acting out a script, they shouted “YAAAY, CHIBOY”….

    EPISODE 11

    Yea that was how hot her b**bss were and i particularly loved watching her run in the school field for her house, her chest was always the point of attention. Even though she usually came last in races, everyone cheered her much more than the winner. And her hips, they had ears, according to flavour (Ukwu nweru nti). You need to see them sway anytime she walked, the male teachers in my clas* soon turned her into their blackboard wiper. Every part of her as*ets jiggled anytime she was at it and they watched thinking we were too small to know what was on their mind but shaa we understood and we also enjoyed the show. We came to fall in love with each other and nothing could come in between us, not even the seniors that always blocked her at the school building corridors. Once i was talking to her after school in our clas*room, a really cute senior walked up to our clas*, disregarding me, called her aside and she ran to him. He held her hand and they started talking, her countenance and everything made me believe she was tripping for him. I felt sorry for myself and angry at her. They talked for long before he let her go. She walked up to me, gave me a tight hug and planted a kiss on my lips. I looked over her shoulder and saw the senior still stood there with a kind of shock on his face. I swear i loved that girl scatter. She had an intimidating demeanor and nobody dared mess with me whenever she was around. Vivian could say anything to anyone at anytime not minding how you felt about it. My only problem with her was the spreading of her legs thing. It was something she did with reckless abandoned and always got cautioned by teachers for it, female teachers i mean. Most male teachers are known perverts. And when she started getting yabbed at by fellow students for her habit of spreading her legs, she brushed it aside and said it was her source of fresh air. That was how everyone started calling her fresh air. I don’t know if stuffs like this happens to any other person but i have come to realize that the love between two lovers gets to its peak mostly on two occasions. First is at the commencement of the relationship, when you are a glad you have found someone new and you try your best not to lose them anytime soon.. Lastly is after a fight, when you realize how important they were to you, how miserable you felt when he/she left and how miserable you would be if you lost them forever.. The Last was a typical example of how i felt when Chinaza saw that pant in my wardrobe. Ever since we made up, our love had soared so high like it was on Marijuana. She decided we weren’t eating out anytime soon. She was going to play the perfect wife to me within the remaining five days we had. She cooked for me, washed my clothes, sometimes even those i’m yet to wear. I guess that love can make you do things that weed can’t even make you think of. We lived like we were on our honeymoon. We were in a world of our own keeping every other person out. James and sandra only saw us when it was time to eat. Naza cooked for everyone. On Thursday morning, she left for the market with Sandra to buy foodstuffs for the remaining days we had. She was barely gone for 15 minutes when i heard a knock on my door. James was sleeping in his room and i was about to catch some sleep too. I had only my boxers on. I managed to drag myself to the door, opened it and standing there was Cynthia. She was wearing this red skimpy gown that had an open roof on the chest. Her breast were just there staring at me like it was a challenge. “Hey” she said and gave me a hug. Every part of her body hit me. “Cynthia was*up” i asked feeling all confused on what to do. I didn’t know whether to let her in or dismiss her before Chinaza gets back from the market. “I’m cool” she said looking at me in a way that made me feel like i was naked. We stared at each other as my mind wandered in many directions. “Won’t you let me in?” she asked. “Wait” i said and zoomed past her, walked to the gate, took a peek outside and Locked it. We both went inside and she sat on the bed. I stood facing her, hands akimbo. “Why are you looking at me like that, am I disturbing you or something?” she asked. “No, not that” i said and sat beside her on the bed. “The last time we met, what we did, i hope you understand it was just a one time fling” i asked her. “Yes, did I make it look like i wanted you to marry me?” she asked “No its not like that, just that the Last time you came, you forgot something and my Girl happened to see it, she wasn’t so thrilled about it ” ” What was that? ” she asked ” Babe for real?, you left here naked under, you weren’t putting on any pant” i said all surprised she could forget something like that. “Oh, its true, so where is it?” she asked “Hmmm, i don’t know, i think i burned it” “Why, to appease your girl? ” “Its none of your business” i said “Okay o” she said and shifted back on the bed. “so why are you here? ” i asked after a long silence. “To see you” she said caressing my bareback. “Good, you have seen me, you have to leave before my girl gets back” i told her gently dropping her hands from my back “why so fast? ” she smuggled closer to me and tried digging her hand into my shorts, i jumped from the bed.. ” Cynthia please stop, not today”, i said walking away from the bed. She stared at me for long. Got up from the bed, said goodbye and headed for the door. “Cynthia wait ” i called her “Why” she turned to me “i hope you understand that i’m not pushing you away or anything, just that my girl… ” i stopped not knowing how to complete it. ” Yes i understand ” she said and advanced towards me, put her arms around my neck and kissed my lips. I lost the little defense i had. I placed my left hand on her waist and the right one on her neck and we kissed like we were doing it for the last time. Girls were my curse. We had no time to waste since naza could be back any minute, I lifted her and dropped her on the bed, luckily her gown was short. I pulled it up and pulled down her pant. I climbed her and went straight for her nipples which were hard already. I gently bit on them and she moaned. “Please, try not to scream” i whispered to her. “okay baby” she moaned it more than she said it. I rubbed the tip of my d1ck on her clit severally and she got up and held me by the neck, pulled me down with her and started kissing me allover my face and neck. I slowly inserted my d1ck into her pus5y and she started breathing hard, she hugged me to herself while i increased the speed of my thrusts. We went on for about 15 minutes. “i’m about to come” she whispered to me as she suppressed her excitement. I planted my lips on hers to prevent her from making noise. I pulled out and She squirted all over the bed. I then went in again and within 2 minutes, mine came, I shot it inside her, french kissed her and wiped the tip of my d1ck on her clit.

    EPISODE 12

    We got up and wore our clothes. Although most guys don’t do it but i made sure i helped her put on her clothes, her pants especially. I walked her out to the gate. I decided to take a peep through the hole. I looked and saw Chinaza and Sandra approaching from the road. “They are back” i said with tension all over me. “Just go in and lock your room, don’t worry about what i will tell them” she said, kissed me on the cheek, opened the gate and went outside. I watched as she met with them, they talked for sometime before she left. I ran back inside, locked the door and fell on my bed. Chinaza knocked on the door. The knock was so heavy that i went to open the door with my heart in my mouth. As i opened the door, she walked in and hugged me to my utmost surprise. “Were you sleeping?” she asked “Yes, why do you ask? ” ” nothing, just that your course mate came and didn’t see anybody” “Oh, she should come next time ” i said. ” Okay o. Lemme change and cook, i know you are hungry” she said and sat on the bed to pull off her shoes. “Yea, i am really hungry” i said. She looked at me and started feeling the bed with her hands. “Baby why is this bed wet”? She asked “i don’t know, maybe its my sweat ” i said trying to look indifferent and failing. ” this is no sweat, its sticky like sperm” she said rubbing her fingers together. “Sperm? ” i asked ” Yes, but come chinecherem, how did you know your course mate that came was a girl when you were supposed to be asleep and why is her perfume smelling all over this room? Another gbege….. I stared at her like she was developing horns. “What do you mean her perfume is smelling all over this room?””She said no one answered her but still, this very room reeks of her very own perfume and tell me why this bed is all wet” she was gradually raising her voice. “Fine i won’t lie to you, the bed being wet was because i jerked off while you were gone and splashed the sperm all over the bed” i guess that was better than telling her i bonked a girl within 30 minutes that she left the house. “And about the perfume, maybe she wore it heavily and the smell filtered into this room” i continued with my lies. “So you are saying that girl was never in this room, eh chinecherem?” “I swear to you, do you think i will do something like that not with what happened between us few days ago” “Hmm, okay o, please get this mattress to the sun and get new sheets because i won’t be sleeping on this bed like this” she said and got up from the bed. Feeling satisfied that i was able to lie myself out this time around, i flipped the sheets from the bed and something landed on the ground. It was small and sounded metallic, we both looked at the ground and lying there, besides my wardrobes was Cynthia’s ear ring. Chinaza picked it first and put it to her nose. I just stood rooted to the point. I was just so sure i have lost naza. Like something hit her, she ran to the waste bag in the room and to my utter shock and dismay pulled out the g-string pant and put it to her nose. When i realised what she had done, i knew the game was up. “so she was the owner of the pant, she came here today and you, chinecherem had the guts to f*ck her behind me” she said in an emotionless voice. I went on my knees before her. “naza i’m sorry, i really am, it was the devil, baby forgive me” i said “No problem, it happens, i guess my heart has chosen to love you and no matter how bad you hurt me, i just can’t do anything about it” she said and went outside to cook dinner. We moved on like everything was normal but within me, i was restless. I expected her to call our affair over but here she was acting like nothing really happened. Before we ate, i secretly made sure she ate first before i do. To avoid stories that touch. A day to the day we were supposed to be going home to our houses, i decided i was really sick of Chinaza acting like everything was cool between us. It was driving me nuts so i decided to deal with it headstrong. James and Sandra had both gone out to town to enjoy their Last day together. “Naza can we talk? ” i asked her as she packed our clothes in readiness for home coming. ” About what? ” ” about us”. “What about us?” she asked still busy with the packing. “Naza please you are driving me nuts with this your i don’t care attitude, for Christ’s sake, you caught me fu(king another girl in this house and you have been acting cool ever since and its messing up my mind” “I didn’t catch you rather i found out ” she said still busy with the clothes. ” So?” i was getting visibly frustrated. “So what do you want me to do?, say congratulations to you? ” she asked and finally left the clothes to face me. ” No, not that it, i at least expect you to shout at me, call me names and say you are done with me” “Oh that’s what you want?” she asked Standing akimbo. “Yes!! Yell at me, i betrayed you and betrayed our love” i said almost shouting. “Well, chinecherem, you know what?” “what?” “You are a bast*rd, a two timing, cheating, lying bast*rd. I hate you so much you son of a bit*h” she was shouting and the tears were dropping from her eyes . She picked a portrait of me on the wall and flung it against the wall. Then she picked the mirror on my wall and dashed it on the floor. It broke to pieces. “i hate you lying bast*rd and i will never forgive you for all the pains you have caused me” she came for me and slapped me, then proceeded to hit me on the chest, i grabbed her and tried to hug her, she resisted violently but i managed to cage her in my arms, she grudgingly gave in and held on to me as she cried more, the tears came to my eyes and i let it rain. We held onto each other as we cried our eyes out. “Fu{k me” she said suddenly in between sobs. “What?” i asked a bit surprised. “I said fu{k me” she repeated. Without further questions, i gently laid her on the bed as she shook from crying, removed all her clothes and went fully into her. Her tears fell more as i went into her, i placed my lips on hers and we kissed, exchanging and swallowing each others tears. It wasn’t long before we both came. I lay flat on the bed and pulled her head on top of my chest. She still cried and the tears was soaking my chest. “I just wanted to be sure i have a reason for letting you keep me and my heart to yourself” she said and sniffed. “If for nothing, at least i have the great sex to be grateful for but i would like to as*ure you that you have lost my trust and my love, my heart can decide not to stop loving you but as for me, i’m done, you will always have me as your girl but my love will remain mine from now on, do with me what you will player” she finally said and sobbed. I closed my eyes and the tears flowed in my eyes and my heart ached.

    EPISODE 13

    When you love someone, you just love them, no matter who or whatever comes up along the way, you will never want to let go. We all went home for the remaining part of our holiday, as i have already said, we and Naza lived close to each other and both our families have a close relationship so no matter what, we always saw each other, whether we liked it or not. Our relationship soon metamorphosed into the type of relationship i had with Eva. Only difference was that Eva once told me she loved me but naza wasn’t going to say that to for a long time. She would visit my house, cook with my mom, play around with my siblings and then walk into my room and fukk me like she was my whore. It was more like a ritual to us which we did at least once in 2 days because in as much as she hated to admit it, we both still loved each other so dearly and wanted to be together all the time but it hurt her so much to think that she was sharing me with some other girl. I also suspected she was always expecting to catch me with another girl inside my room because of the way she usually comes in. Now, naza wasn’t any girl i would want to fukk just for the sake or fun of it, i loved her too much for it. You know when you really love someone, fukking them is not something you do just because you feel like, its what you do when words, kisses, letters and hugs becomes inadequate to express your pas*ion for them, you do it because it makes you both happy and not because it gives you pleasure. If you want pleasure, go and masturbate. Like i said, i do suspect she was trying to see if she would get me with another girl and she almost did. Amara had lived with us ever since she was a 9 year old kid. She was a distant relation of my mother. She had always slept in my room along with me up until she was 16 and i was 19. In between that period and up to now, we have explored and exploited each other so many times. When we slept together, we had our Goodnight sex and good morning sex, as time went on, it was like more of a necessity to us than it was a sin. I’m even thinking i have fukked her more than all the girls i have been with put together. She was a dark beautiful girl and very curvy too. Outside the bedroom, we were both very much attached to each other that my people will often throw jokes at us “Don’t worry, in your Next life, you both won’t be relations so that you will get to marry each other” They will often say stuffs likes this not knowing we had both broken records married people can’t break. It was on a Saturday morning and I was in my room playing my game. I was seated on the bed with my legs crossed. Amara came into my room clutching a floor mopper. I looked at her and smiled, she smiled back revealing her neatly cut open teeth, i can as*ure you that she is a very beautiful girl that can give Rihanna a run for her body. She closed the door behind her and came straight to me. She sat beside me on the bed pecked my cheek. “I have missed you so much you know” she said “Hmmm, i have missed you too” i said still focused on my game and trying not to miss a goal. Amara touched me on my back and i was tickled, i looked sharply at her and then back to the tv and found out i had missed the goal after all. “fukk” i said and dropped my pad, i pulled her closer to me and started kissing her like i needed it to survive. She grabbed my prick and started squeezing it, i felt the zip to her gown which was at the back and drew it open. Her gown dropped to her waist level and her full fletched breast stared me in the eye, she had no bra on. I pushed her down to the bed and grabbed her b**bss with my mouth, i would have swallowed them but they would choke me so i opted for the nipple. I bit hard on it and she let out a soft long moan. I got up and pulled her gown from her, she was naked under, my prick increased more in size. I grabbed a pillow and put it under her head. I spread her legs wide apart and inserted my prick. She shook and grabbed me by the back. I started going in slowly in order not to make noise and alert anybody. “fukk me harder” she whispered and i obeyed, i started going harder than ballers. “Toa! Toa!! Toa!!!” my scrotal sack banged against her pusy as we both moaned. She held me by the waist and crossed her legs against my back. “I’m coming ” she gasped and i put my lips on hers and muffled her scream as the fluid flowed from her vulva and covered my prick. She held me tight and kissed me pas*ionately and i came too. “I want to ease myself” she said and got up from the bed. She walked to my bathroom naked as i admired her curve. Suddenly my door banged open and i stared at it startled. Chinaza was standing there. Luckily i hadn’t pulled down my shorts during my escapade with Amara. She came and sat next to me. “What are you doing? ” she asked. ” Playing game” i said and kissed her, pulled her to the bed and we started fondling each other. My heart trembled at the thought of what would happen when Amara walks in naked.. “Brother there is no omo in the bathroom ” Startled, we both disengaged and saw Amara standing timidly behind us wearing my pajamas which i had earlier hung on the bathroom door ” then go and buy naa” i yelled at her as she ran outside. Smart girl. We undressed each other and went into our newly found ritual. I fell sick the next day. For the rest of the week i was run down by fever. I couldn’t stand erect and had to lay on my bed while my mom did all her quack prescriptions for me. I wasn’t getting better and worst still, i had to stay at home alone when everyone else leaves for work. Amara who could have looked after me was sick too, not as much as i was but it was something. Chinaza’s love for me seemed to be rekindled at that point in time. She would stay around me, prepare special dishes for me and force me to eat them cos even though i made requests for those foods, i didn’t have the appetite to eat them. She spent most of her time tending to me. On the third day, i noticed rashes were coming out of my body but i didn’t border much about it, i named it heat rashes and not until the fourth day that it also showed up on Amara’s body that i was freaked out. I had always known there would be repercussions for my sexual promiscuity but i never expected it to be STD. Even though i don’t usually use protection, i had always thought i was immune to all those STD stuff. I began going lean back to back and i lost interest in anything around me. I soon began to expect Naza to fall ill too and i wasn’t disappointed. Hers started lightly although there were no spots on her body, she was down with fever and often coughed. I silently prayed to God every minute and swore with my manhood that should he take all this away from me, i would never ever stare at a girl twice in fact that i won’t even have a girlfriend. I had confided in James who at first laughed and said i was being too serious until i told him about Amara and Chinaza. He then suggested i asked each of them if they were fukking anyone behind me. I had questioned Amara about her sexual activities and she had sworn she only had sex with me all her life. I didn’t even dare broach the topic with Naza or the whole of our neighborhood would have heard about it since i’m obviously the one circulating the strange illness. I kept thinking of all my recent escapades and trying to see which of the girls was likely to have given me the disease. I didn’t have to look around much. At exactly 12am on sixth day, Cynthia called me. “Hey baby” she seemed excited over the phone. “Was*up” i said weakly “I’m fine, just missing you” “Thank you, so why are you calling me this early morning?” “Nothing much, just wanted to make sure you are ok” “Well, i’m sick” i said “I thought as much” she said and i became suspicious. “What does that mean?” “well, i got sick and went for a test, i was diagnosed with staphylococcus, anyway i’m undergoing treatment and i think I’m getting better. Just thought you should know” I was sweating as she was talking. “Cynthia you came to my house and gave me std? I asked not knowing if i was crying or not. “Baby its not like that, we are not even sure if you were not the one that gave it to me, you know we both aren’t saints” she said and laughed, she sounded so carefree which is more than i can say for myself. After we dropped the call, the questions that kept hitting my mind was how i was going to tell my people i had contacted an std and had transferred it to Chinaza and Amara…. [b] AMARA[/b]…. I cried in the darkness and prayed God to cleanse me of my iniquities. I was almost close to swearing that i would quit school and enter the seminary should he save me from the shame i was about to bring to myself. As if that wasn’t enough, the next morning, Chinaza walked in looking a bit better but her face was all groomy. “Whats wrong with you? ” i asked her. ” Chinecherem I went for a test ” My heart sank as i waited for her to tell me about the Std, i was sure she was going to raise hell for me. ” And what did it say? ” i asked with my heart pounding like a mortar. ” I’m 2 months pregnant ” she said looking at me. At this point i didn’t know what was going on in my mind, i didn’t know whether to be glad she wasn’t infected or to freak out about the pregnancy. I just decided i was in deep shhit either way. We spent over 3 minutes staring at nothing without talking. Chinaza got up from the bed and left without exchanging any word. I know I would marry her for sure, i mean i wasn’t going to abort my own baby, i loved naza and i wasn’t going to regret marrying her but the disease that was in me, what if naza had it too and some way it affects the baby. I just wished my whole life was a dream as i laid on my bed and cried. My Penance had decided to come together in a day and i would rather die than face it. I soon began contemplating suicide but i loved my life and wasn’t going to leave all these fine girls begin. I hadn’t even driven my dream car, a Lamborghini. I was in my room still mourning myself when Amara came in and sat besides me on the bed. She bent and kissed me. In my mind i was like “The staphylococcus you get never do you, maybe you wan collect aids join am too” i thought but I was too weak to speak. “Neche don’t worry, we found out its just measles that i got from Chioma my friend and you caught it” she said and smiled. I jerked up from my bed feeling partially healed. “Are you sure?” I asked her not knowing whether to kiss her or to verify. She nodded. I grabbed her and kissed her so pas*ionately. Chinaza walked into my room just as we had disengaged and with a wide grin on her face shouted [b] “APRIL FOOOL” [/b]. Confused i checked my phone and the date was April 1.

    EPISODE 14

    So Naza has officially found a new boyfriend.. Hehehehehe. I’m not laughing shaa, they have tears of Joy, i wonder if they also have Laughter of pain. I have been so frustrated that i getting lean day by day, though i try not to show it, its very hard to miss. She seemed to be happy or she was pretending to be. Each night, after my usual section with Amara {i wonder why that girl never carry belle for me}, i would cry myself to sleep. I tried getting myself busy with some other girls to see if it would uplift my spirit but for where, it just downlifted my pocket. “So, you finally found someone better” i had asked her as we talked on the phone one night like that. “Not exactly better, but someone i think i like, someone that is willing to let go of other girls for my sake” she said, she sounded so sweet i wished she was saying that rubbish lying on my bed. “And you suppose i can’t do that for you?” “Its very obvious you can’t, Chinecherem you were even sleeping with your own relation, tufiakwa gi” she said with a bit of laughter in her voice while i shockingly wondered how she knew i was drilling Amara. I wasn’t going to admit easily. “What do you mean sleeping with my relation? Where did you get that?” “Chinecherem swear you weren’t sleeping with Amara” “Where did you hear that silly nonsense” i was becoming defensive “Well, she told me, apparently she loves you more than I do and i think you should continue, one day your cup will overflow, maybe you will impregnate your lecturer” When Naza wants to frustrate you, she spares nothing. She tried her best in flaunting the new guy to my face. He was cute, i mean he had the money to maintain those features that made one look clas*y, not that he was cuter than I was but his pocket made it look so. Naza had introduced him to me as her “Prince Charming” and introduced me as her “Street Guy”. The stupid niggar had smiled and extended his hand, i shook him and left without saying any other word. Naza called me later that day and her voice so much reeked of guilty conscience, i wasn’t smiling though. She talked all through and i just gave her cold replies. “Street guy ke” this girl wicked gan not even ex. I was pained for a very long time but i can’t complain, he drove a 2014 range and i drove my father’s 2012 range rover when he’s not around to use it which rarely happens. So she has the right to flaunt him in my face. “Guy, how far naa, we no dy see you again” Emeka, Naza’s brother had asked the day we met. “Your sis don pursue me naa, so who i go dy visit for your side again naa” “Pursue you how kwa? ” ” she don get new bobo naa and the guy frosh so i don expire like this” “Who be the bobo? That mumu guy wey dy deceive himself, say him get money but to buy Ordinary Small stout for me no gree am, see, forget all these things naza dy do, na you get am” “How i go get pesin wey be anytime she wan talk to me, na that guy go be her main topic” “Guy forget am, she just wan make you dy trip, you suppose come my house one day see as she dy talk about you” We talked further about her shaa, Emeka reas*ured me about Naza’s love for me, he could be saying the truth but knowing Emeka and his intentions, he maybe trying to get my sympathy considering the fact that he was eyeing my sister. He is on a long thing. So i’m officially single like 1. Although i have bang mates but we all need that special one. So i went fishing on facebook and i met this fine girl although it took a long time for me to decide if she was a polio patient because of the way she posed for pictures, well i concluded she was not because she was too fine to be one. So we met at a restaurant on a certain Sunday. She walked to where i stood outside the restaurant looking all posh, i was sure i had met my second missing rib. Chinaza was the first, for my own convenience, i decided God had removed two ribs from me, so it’s a little wonder i’m always searching for girls but with the way i’m running after them, i think its safe to say i don’t even have a rib. As usual, she was fair, please don’t criticise or call me a racist, you see, my mother is fair and i love her so much, so i think that’s why i love girls that are fair like she is. By the way, i’m dark but not so dark shaa. She seemed to have recognized me on the spot, as she walked up to me, i was astonished, i believed God had forgiven me and had rewarded me for Chinaza’s betrayal. We had a wonderful time in there and to crown it all, she paid for our meals. You needed to see my reaction. I knew instantly that i had hit a goldmine. She had invited me to her house the following week and i was more than too happy to go. They lived in an exotic story building. Judging by what i saw, her father was rich and the whole environment reeked of it. We had sat in their parlor as she showed me an album of their family pictures. She wore a hot mini skirt and a white singlet with no bra on and this exposed her fair robust breast to an extent. She sat on my legs as we watched the pictures, the atmosphere was so romantic that my Prick couldn’t help but stand at an attention. I couldn’t wait to finish the damn album and fling her upstairs. Then we heard a car come in. I had expected her to freak out, i mean, her parents are back and she’s not supposed to be seen with a guy at her age. She just got up and strolled to the door, i watched her as* as she moved and i was tempted to run after her and grab her from the back. She came in first chatting away with her father who was behind her. Then her father came in full military uniform. The uniform was the least of my problems. I was supposed to Stand up and greet him naa, afterall i was in his house but for where, any wrong move i made would reveal my already oversized prick. I was sweating internally and externally as her father observed me over his glas*es as one would observe a fault in his appliance. I crossed my left leg over my right leg and then the other way round again all in a frantic effort to hide my attention. “Good afternoon sir” i managed to say while still seated with the album over my laps “Good afternoon, how are you “. “Fine sir” Then Precious introduced me as her friend. The man was cool with it so i relaxed. We all sat in the parlor as Precious continued showing me the pictures, i made sure i say At least 2 feet from her and peeked at the pictures, to avoid stories that touch…

    EPISODE 15

    It soon became a game of show off between me and Chinaza. The way the stupid new dude was always flashing his car around each time he came to see Chinaza was getting on my nerves. Chinaza too didn’t misuse any opportunity she had to torment me. She would flash different views of the guys on her whatsapp dp. So i decided i was going to show her my new catch. Hehehehe, precious was cute and would make any girl jealous of herself. I and precious had gotten to a point where we no longer felt uneasy around each other, we had even gotten close to having sex once but i gave the excuse that we should give ourselves more time to adjust but then my main reason was i didn’t want to be caught pants down by a military man banging his daughter, God knows i wasn’t ready for any military drills and with the way the man’s waist bulged, i suspect he carries pistols around. So i decided i was going to invite Precious over to my house. I had managed to lie myself out of taking part in my father’s farming business with the excuse that i was going to be busy with school as*ignments. Who gives as*ignments at the end of a semester? Shaa my popsy believed me. All i had to do was observe everyone’s calendar and figure out the day everyone would be out of the house. As i Waited for that day, i resorted to spending my spare times at Precious house. She knew how to have fun and that kept me away from sleeping with her for the time being. I was with her on a day like any other day, we were in her room watching porn on my phone when we heard their door open downstairs. She got up and ran down while i adjusted my trouser which had already shifted to one side and lay down on my stomach facing the wall. Seconds later i heard the door to the room open. “Who was that?” i asked without turning back. “hello” an entirely different female voice said. I got up only to see Eve staring back at me. Yea Eve, remember Eve my nutty naughty course mate Eve, yea, it was that Eve. “Chiboy! ” she shouted ” Evangeline what are you doing here?” “I should be asking you that, what are you doing in my cousin’s room” she asked and came to sit by me on the bed. There was this connection that existed in my neighborhood which i hated so much, where all the girls knew each other one way or the other, you can’t date one without the others knowing and you can’t cheat on the one you are dating with another one without others finding out and telling the one you are dating, that was the case here. So Precious and Eva were cousins and so what? Its not like there was anything i could do about it, Eva wouldn’t mind seeing me with someone else as far as her interests are well protected, precious on the other hand may mind and her father may mind more than she does and i should really mind her father minding about it for my sake but then that is nothing compared to what you are about to find out. So the day came and i was alone in the house. I called precious over. She got to the junction that led into our neighborhood and informed me. I knew before hand that Chinaza was at home and i intended frustrating her back. I went to bring in Precious with the greatest swag i could find in my wardrobe. I slowly pas*ed Chinaza’s house to ensure that she saw me and to my luck, she was at the front. I breezed pas* their house and straight to where precious was. I hugged her, put my hand around her hips and we started heading back for my house. Just as we were approaching naza’s house, she appeared from the gate. She started running towards us with her hands spread for a hug. I as*umed she was up to something mischievous and i readied myself for whatever it was. I steadied myself for the hug she was coming for, i had acted out the script in my mind, i was going to oblige her the hug and then introduce Precious to her as my sweetheart, i as*umed this was going to hit her hard and i was glad with it. Chinaza ran up to us, walked pas* me and engaged Precious in a tight hug. I was too dazed to even know what else transpired there. They both walked hand in hand into Naza’s house as i stood and watched. If Naza doesn’t kill me in this world, i will kill her. One of us must die. Precious had invited me in but i was a guy and i had my pride. I wasn’t going to let that crazy Chinaza rub her arrogance on my face. I simply pointed out our house to her and told her to come over when she’s done and went on my way back. She later came, i mean, it would be crazy of her not to, right? Well, Precious was Chinaza’s school daughter back in their Secondary school days and they still had that connection. I was so pissed off and felt humiliated that Chinaza seemed to be winning at every turn. We ended up underachieving what i had planned for that day because of my foul mood. I soon found out that precious vetted all her decisions through Chinaza, you can imagine that. I’m yet to understand all these school mother, school daughter stuff. Well shaa, the introduction of my ex into our relationship wasn’t so refreshing. She gave Precious the idea that sleeping with a guy she just started dating wasn’t ideal, just when i was all set to get intimate with her. Yea, true that it took me 2 years to get Naza to date me and another 1 year to sleep with her but that doesn’t give her any right, does it? So precious started avoiding any Avenue that might tempt her into sleeping with me and i wasn’t in a hurry to tempt her into doing something she wasn’t ready for, yea remember the father factor, Preshy looked like a cry cry baby to me and she being the only daughter of a millitary man, mehn i have never been in a more complex situation. She decided her visits to my house would be once in a blue moon but i must always come and see her At least twice in a week and her cousin must be there to join in the gist. She wants me to visit her along with Eva there? Cool, she was going to get that visit. “So how is it going with precious” Eva asked me the day i visited. We were in the parlor watching a movie and Precious had just gone into the kitchen to boil the spaghetti she bought. “Well it’s going just as it should, imagine when you are dating a 6 year old child, that’s how its going ” She laughed ” So you are not getting any action from her?” “Eva don’t ask me” i said, i was being careful, knowing Eva for whom she is, she may opt for a threesome, which how ever wasn’t a bad idea tho. “Are you sex starved? ” She said after laughing ” Yes, what are you going to do about it, are you going to help me convince her?” “Why will i convince her when i can actually help out myself” she said giving me her naughty look, she had a sexy eye. “Eva, lets leave all that for school, this is her house” “So what?” she said and came at me immediately, she climbed me, pushed my head backwards and started kissing me, i held her but* and squeezed hard at it, we kissed and kissed and i pulled her away.. “Eva she could catch us you know” i said looking at her “Then lets go somewhere that she won’t see us ” she said and dragged me upstairs to a very big room. ” Who owns this room” i asked looking around “Her parents ” she said kissing me and unzipping my trouser. ” What if they come home?” “They won’t and this is the last place precious would come looking for us” she said and pushed me to the bed, she climbed me and dug her hand into my trouser and pulled out my tool caressing it, i felt the sensation take over me as i pulled her down on me and kissed her like i was in a rage. I flipped her around and got on top of her, i made to remove my trouser.. “Wait” she said softly “Why? ” ” Don’t remove anything in case anything happens” i thought it was a good idea, i pulled her skirt up and spread her leg wide, she parted her pant to the side and i slid my prick into her hole, she moaned and grabbed me tearing at my shirt. With her legs wide in the air, we banged and fukked and screwed and came at the same time, we kissed each other to stop us from screaming. The bed was wet with our cum, i fell on her as we both struggled to catch our breath. We heard footsteps from outside the door. I jumped from her and ran towards the window, i quickly zip up my trouser and the devilish zipper cut the tip of my dikk, the door opened and Precious father came in.

    EPISODE 16

    “What are you two doing?” he asked, he wasn’t smiling, Eva was already kneeling on the floor. “Chasing lizards” Eva quickly answer while i crutched at the window stealthily trying to rescure my dick from the zip. “What do you mean chasing lizards?” “We were at the parlor when one lizard ran in here” Eva explained, he didn’t look convinced “So why is your face like that?” He asked facing me “Sir, i hit my head at the wall while trying to catch it” I was relieved to see a smile on his face. “So where’s the lizard?” he asked “out the window ” Ava chipped in “And you want to jump after it ehn?” he asked me, i smiled as precious walked in. “Welcome dad” “How are you?” “I’m fine sir” “Where were you when they were chasing lizards around” He asked her “Erm, it actually came out from the kitchen ” Precious said to Eva’s and my amazement. The man had only come home to pick some files before going out again. We were lucky he had no business going near the bed or we would have had to explain how the lizard got the bed wet. He left 30 minutes later. I and Eva eyed each other as we joined precious in the kitchen. “Preshy, so the lizard came out from here?” i asked her “Shut up ” she said and grabbed me while she kissed me. I wasn’t going to ask any questions, i knew she knew what the lizard saga was all about although i didn’t know how she knew and i didn’t care to find out. I lifted her onto the kitchen freezer and kissed her Savagely while Eva watched silently, being who she is, she couldn’t watch for long, she came and joined us and we had a prolific threesome. Precious was savage but not up to Eva. I sure shot out all the sperm in my body. I found out that My holy precious wasn’t so holy after all and the spaghetti burned. I couldn’t eat when i got home that day, i was over satisfied by Eva, precious and a burnt spaghetti. Precious had insisted she was going to throw it away. By 8pm, my door slowly opened. I decided that if it was Amara, i was going to send her out, i have had enough for the day. Heavy slaps landed on my back and i jumped up to see Chinaza staring at me. “What is wrong with you and what are you doing here” “Shut up and answer my questions ” she said and I just stared at her ” What are you doing with Precious?” “What do you mean? She’s my girlfriend ” i answered ” Are you serious? ” ” Yes naa, what is your business with it or are you Jealous?” i asked laughing “Of course i’m jealous, anybody can have you but not her” “Hmm, unbelievable, aren’t you a drama queen, what does it matter whether its her or not after all i’m not complaining about that guy you are brandishing everywhere” “Hmmm, i’m done with him” she said “Really? ” i asked looking at her, i was glad she did, at least she now has a space for a new guy, i was intending to be that guy but i’m just not telling her yet. ” yea, he’s no fun joor” “So what are you doing here now?” i asked “Don’t flatter yourself, i missed you shaa and i’m back to claim you”. She kissed me and did everything that finally led into a hot sex session for over 15 minutes. “Neche, i want you back” she said after the sex “Naza, my life is not just an open door you can walk out of and walk in anytime you want, you dumped me without even giving me a clue” “But i did walk in this night and you fukked me like you missed me” she said and laughed. “stupid girl” i hissed and smiled in the darkness. I was glad she came back.. So school had resume and we were all back. Chinaza was once more happy with me, not just for the sex but because i was trying hard to live up to her expectations. I could at least try and be a good boyfriend to her for some days, it wouldn’t kill me, would it? Of course not, after all i lived the first 15 years of my life without sex and i didn’t die. She had gone back to my lodge with me before going back to school. She just wanted to secure her territory. I had introduced her to my lodge mates as my wife to be, an introduction that endeared me to her the more. I didn’t like that introduction because it was going to ruin my chances with the girls in my lodge especially the new ones but a man’s got to do what he’s got to do to keep his woman. So a sister to one of our female lodge mates just got admitted and had come to live with her sister. Damn was she gorgeous, she was my spec, all pros and no cons. I was a smart guy, everly, but I never knew Naza was smarter. Of all the girls in the lodge, she decided it was the new one that she wanted as her friend. As in, they got so tight that naza would have invited her for a 3some if she wasn’t a jealous girl. I was even getting scared she was turning into a lesbian when the whole idea of her sweetness to the girl hit me. She probably knew i may go after her in future and wanted to reduce the chances of the girl falling to my advance. I mean, besties don’t sell each other out right? Well i’m a risk taker and would definitely want to find that out. “Naza, are you away you are older than this girl you are going everywhere with?” i asked her one night as we lay on the bed. “And so? ” ” Its just that i expected you to roll with bigger girls that are your mates and level, not a year one student naa” “Chinecherem come, you talk too much after sex these days, that i’m friends with her, how is that your business? ” she said ” It is my business o, when my guys see you rolling with her, they will think both of you are age mates and then will come and be thinking that i’m dating an underage girl ” ” Hahahaha, but you dated my school daughter naa” she laughed. I was like which kind wahala be this. “And so? You now want to come from ansu and have a school daughter in unizik?” “So what do you want this night, should i leave you here and go and join her in her room?” she asked. “No sorry, i won’t talk again ” And that ended our argument, she was capable of the impossible. I didn’t want to miss my midnight and midmorning sex. Naza stayed for a week plus before finally going back. I had seen her off along with her new friend to the park. She hugged her more than she hugged me, all this girly nonsense but she kissed me though. “Naza won’t you hand me over to her so she can take care of me now that you are going” i asked her feigning seriousness and the girl laughed. Only her laughed. “Hand you over for what, take care of gini? ” she asked ” You know naa, cooking and so on ” i said smiling. ” So when she was not here, you were starving abi?” she asked. “Naza come on, be going, you will miss your bus” And so she left. To be honest, i was going to miss her. She was top on my food chain. “Shape let’s go home” i called to my companion. “What did you call me? ” She asked me ” Shape, you see, back home, a lot of people call me Ocha as in fair guy because i’m fair so since i haven’t gotten your name, i had to refer to you with a feature in your body and i think shape is perfect ” i explained and she laughed. ” So can i hold you” i asked her as we moved. “no” she was blunt and sharp with the answer. “I’m sorry for asking, i don’t usually ask, i just go ahead and do it” i said and smiled “Please don’t hold ” she said. I ignored her and tried grabbing her waist, she ran and i went after her, caught up with her and put my hand around her waist. She didn’t complain, she just smiled and put her own hands around mine and the Lord was good. Keke napep’s were cheaper but we took a bike, one bike to be precise, i needed a kind of closure. I would have stayed in the middle and she at the back so she can give me a good dose of that b**bss but it wasn’t a coded thing to do, so i had to stay at her back. Her booty just rubbed on me as the bike galloped and my prick was just rising anyhow like yeast. I don’t know if she felt it or not, but if she did, good for her because i as*ume she would be feeling it in full soon for the rest of her life in that lodge.

    EPISODE 17

    I had intended to take over the relationship between My bae and the new girl. Almost every guy in our lodge was eyeing her. Chinaza had set the precedent and so i became the first guy in line and tagging closely behind me was my right hand man, James. Nobody wanted to find out her name anymore, they all liked the name i gave her, shape, and it stuck to her. The race for shape was real. Like i said, Naza had made everything a little simple for me, i didn’t need to stand in line with other contestants, i might as well have given her out to whomever i wanted if i wasn’t eyeing her too. James was up on his feet, tagging alongside her anytime he sees her. I wasn’t jealous abi i wasn’t so jealous, in the end she always came around. I was her favorite guy at the moment. “Guy see, everything wey dy happen for this lodge, i like am well well, the only thing wey dy provoke, the only thing wey i nor like na the way you dy try colonize Shape, i no like am at all” i said as we were all outside one day and everybody laughed. It was more of a challenge to James, he was trying to prove to me that he could beat me to having her, me, i didn’t care, it was all about the honeypot to me. Anybody could have her, i no send, as far as i still got my share. So on a Saturday like this, James busted into my room like a car in Grand theft auto and ran straight to my wardrobe “Guy o gini, kilode? ” i asked him ” Nothing, Chiboy shey you buy new jeans? ” he asked “And so?” “i wan use am go out tomorrow” he said as he pulled out my tinted new Blue skinny jeans from my wardrobe. “No, you no fit use am” i said “I no dy ask you, i’m just telling you ” he said ” Where you dy go sef, this one you no invite me” i asked him “I wan go flex one girl like that ” ” Which girl naa” “E no concern you” he said and left, i shrugged and continued with my phone. If he doesn’t tell me about the girl today, he will tell me tomorrow. Later in the day, Shape came in to my room as I was watching film, it was the first time i was seeing her that day. “Shapy baby ” i called her as she came in and she smiled. She sat on the bed and i gave her a detailed hug. “Baby was*up naa” i asked looking at every part of her body but her face. “Am good o, stop searching me with your eyes naa” she said smiling. “Is it possible?, its only a gay man that will see you and not stare” i said still checking her out. “But naza get am naa, she may even be Sexier” “Naza is a queen but your shape, you are chilli abi kilishi, too hot” “Stop whining me joor” “Why i go whine you? Abeg wetin you bring for me abi make i unpackage you? ” i asked and she laughed ” Nothing joor, i just need you to accompany me somewhere tomorrow, i hope you will be chanced. ” ” Why not, even if na hell fire, i go follow you go, just that i would be at the gate while you enter inside” She laughed and hit me on my hand. “But where are we going?” i asked “James wants to take me out, i want you to come along” she said and i laughed. So that was where James wanted to go, i thought in my mind. I wasn’t going to miss it for anything. “Sure, i go come” i said So the next day , i swear i must have gotten ready before they even remembered they had a date. I was in my room waiting, there was no need eating that day, i decided i was going to have my breakfast, lunch and if possible, dinner too there. Around 2pm, Shape came into my room looking like a model. “Let’s go, he’s waiting outside ” she said and i got up, locked my room and followed her outside. The expression on James face when he saw the two of us was to die for. I stifled the laughter that was trying to jump out of my mouth as i looked at him. “So are we taking a bike?” i said as we got to where he was. He didn’t answer, he was just observing me from head to toe and biting his lips. But me, i no send. After waiting for sometime, a bike pulled up. “Guy, make me and Shape enter this one, just stop another one and start coming ” i said smiling. James didn’t even talk, he took her by the hand and they entered the bike. “Meet us at Marble arch hotels” he said to me as they drove off. I shrugged and stopped a keke that pulled up. No dulling.. I entered the hotel and soon located their table. James was smiling and Ada was laughing. I approached them and the smile on James face froze and Shape’s Laughter turned into a lovely smile. Their table was empty, they said they were waiting for me before they would order. We soon placed our orders, James did the ordering himself, he didn’t want stories. He tried though. At least i achieved my aim of eating 3 square meals at a sitting which was courtesy of James being drunk and making orders anyhow. Shape too got drunk and was all over me but i played it lowkey before james would decide that i should pay for her since it looked like i was the one who took her out. We rounded up by 7 pm and chattered a keke back home, James staggered into his room, Shape into hers and me into mine. I managed to get out of my clothes and flung them into space, i crashed on my bed and closed my eyes. I opened them again as shape walked in, her sister had gone to visit her boyfriend and would be sleeping over, she fell on me and we kissed, i frisked her whole body as she practically licked me all over my face and neck. She bit the tip of my chest and gradually down to my bellybut*on and then my Prick, i moaned as she put her teeth on the tip. “wait let me urinate, I’ll be back” i said and rushed into the toilet . I was really drunk as I pissed around everywhere except the toilet seater. I staggered back to the room and found Her already asleep on the bed. I hissed and fell beside her. I woke up on the floor the next morning and found Shape sleeping peacefully on the bed….. So y’all needed to see the full fledged laughter Fiesta James threw for me when i told him about my ordeal with Shape. “Just imagine girl wey you for leave with me, you come waste all that opportunity” “Comot here, why you no carry am enter your room” “Guy i too drunk that night, i fit piss on her come think say na sperm” “The action wey i miss no pain me reach, the one wey pain me pas* be say na for ground i sleep, see as everywhere dy pain me” School happened, friends reunited, everybody looking fresh and all. New students in the faculty, I didn’t notice the guys, i just saw the girls, all looking set for harvest. And like a farmer, i had my harvester ready for them. I needed to catch them young before their eyes opened. Apart from failing maths courses, the next easiest thing in school was spotting out the freshers. In their mind, they be feeling sophisticated and dressing up to cover up their naivety but like a mark on the forehead, it was boldly unscripted on them “JAMBITO!” A lot of them did catch my interest, i had decided to reduce hand in my banging activities because while other people looked fresh after the holidays, my mirror portrayed me as 2 years older than my age. I wasn’t surprised tho, i had been extremely busy during the holidays *winks*… So i decided i was only going to choose one at the moment. Some of My guys don already begin dy form seniors, addressing the new comers who would stare at them, taking down everything they were told, some freshers would even mistake some of them as lecturers, for them to be addressing them, even those who got clear effs in their mathematics would be asking the new ones, girls especially, to call on them should they need any help, no, we don’t roll like that, we just let our things flow like lasagna. So i saw this one, everything about her was everything i liked in a girl. Her beauty gave me chills, she wasn’t so thick but she was curvy. She looked like a model but not as thin as they are. I observed her for sometime and noticed she was always alone sort of. Hmmm, that was unusual given her as*ets. We just got through our valuation clas* and i decided i was going to search for the girl. I managed to ditch Eva and was soon patrolling our faculty in search of this girl. I didn’t have to search for long, i soon saw her, the complexion of her skin shimmering under the sun. Just looking at her gave me the morale to walk up to her and talk to her. I adjusted my face cap and swaggered towards her. She was strolling leisurely so catching up wasn’t hard. I got to know her, Jennifer was her name, she just got admitted into Estate management, that made things easier for me. She was much open shaa and after everything, i got her number, easily too and that surprised me. We were still talking when i heard someone shout my name. I looked in the direction of the voice and shape was dragging her curvy body towards us. “I have been looking for you” she said as she got to where we stood. I held Jennifer by her hand to avoid her slipping away. “What for?” “Ermm, you know that place i wanted you to show me that day?” she said scratching her ear. “Which place kwa?” “That place naa” “The place no get name?” “Just come first, please” “Must it be now” i told her nodding towards Jennifer who was busy with her phone. She got the hint but rolled her eyes. “Yes, now” I was tempted to walk her away but hey, this is shape, my shape and so i had to dismiss Jennifer on the promise that we would meet again. “Shape come, next time you see me with a girl, just act like you no see me or like you don forget my name, no just call me” i said as we waited for a bus. “Which girl? ” she asked with a voice that had sarcasm all over it. ” Any girl at all” “Is it because of this one that looks like ogbanje?” I raised my hand to knock her head but ended up putting it round her waist..

    EPISODE 18

    Keeping up with Jennifer was very easy as she was always around. I loved showing her around to everyone as she is damn fine. Each time she smiled, i am always tempted to kiss her very pink lips but i just reserved that one for the d-day when everything will happen. I waited patiently for that day because I didn’t want to appear desperate. My love for girls have done a lot to me gan, i went back to my year one handouts, reading them thoroughly and ignoring the current ones i’m supposed to study, all because I wanted to prove a point to her, she comes to my house once in a while and i teach her some of the courses they were offering. Things went on and on and the day came that she decided she was going to sleep over. The day i have been waiting for. On a Saturday, i made the suggestion to her in form of a joke and she took it up, said she would love to, since we were so close now and bla bla bla. She came by 6pm. We were watching a movie in my room, me, James and shape. Shape’s sister wasn’t around again, she was visiting her boyfriend for the weekend, that girl shaa, she can play away match and that thing come dy vex us, the guys in her lodge, something she should be giving to us, her neighbors, she would go and be giving it out to a guy in his own house, anyway that one still dy. She had knocked on my door, from inside i could smell her scent, i left shape where we were entangled and went to the door. I hugged her and led her inside. After a very funny introduction session where James tried to over hug her and got pushed away by me, we settled down on the bed and continued the movie. We smooched in silence as we watched the film. Soon she wanted to take her bath. I heated water for her and she went into the bathroom. “See eh James, just take Shape and enter your room, you can carry the T. V as well, i just no need una disturbance” i said and they laughed, Shape eyed me and hissed. “Babe see eh, you gats to understand me naa, just this night”. I pleaded and begged and was able to convince Shape, all i needed was for her to leave, James was sure to follow. They left shaa. Jennifer came out of the bathroom with only my towel tied around her. It was just enough to cover her upper body and revealed her fair, bulky and tempting laps. “Are you still going to change into your clothes?” I asked her “Urrm, maybe, why do you ask? “Nothing, its just that i thought you looked perfect in that towel”. She smiled and called me naughty. I pulled her to me and she sat on my laps. “Are you a virgin? ” i whispered into her ears. ” Why don’t you try and find out” she said in a voice that would make you feel like you were inside her already. I dropped her on the bed and kissed her lips, slowly, my mouth walked their way down to her b**bss and then to her nipples, i kissed and bit at it while she moaned and grabbed my head in a way that i liked. “Will i find milk inside it? ” i asked her and she laughed. I continued and soon i parted her legs. Giving heads to girls wasn’t my specialty but Jennifer was extraordinarily pretty and i thought she deserved it, she looked clean too. I flicked her kitty with my tongue and she moaned like she just saw the pearly gates. I caught her clit in between my lips and that was more than she could take, she jiggled and kicked, i had just managed to dodge my head in time. “Are you alright?” “Yes, just continue ” ” Ok o. In no time, we were on the bed, me on her, with her legs wrapped round me and choking my waist line. She was terrific and i was afraid i would cum before her. I pulled myself from her and went in from the back. She was almost shouting, luckily, my home theater was banging louder than us. We went on and on and on and switched back to the missionary style. I needed enough closure and Romance. We kissed multiple times as the bed shook from our engagement. And then she came, she was shaking violently with her eyes closed, she was so violent that the hot liquid soon sizzled out of my own dikk. Kindly like our Facebook Page POBSONLINE.COM for more amazing stories Midway, i pulled out, i didn’t want everything in her, so if it was 1 million sperms that were going for her ovaries, let it be five hundred thousand. She was still shaking and violently too even as i was already out. I began feeling myself too much, i thought i must have over performed, now she should be impressed. Trouble started when after some seconds she was still on her wriggling bout. “Jenny i’m through ” No reply, just shaking ” Jennifer i’m out already, get up and wipe yourself ” No reply, continuous shaking, my dikk went flaccid immediately. ” Babe, i don finish naa” Still nothing, i took a closer look, some whitish substance was coming out of her mouth, it looked foamy. The sweat that rushed out of my body could bath a new baby and leave some for washing its diapers. “Jesus, babe stop rough play naa” i said and shook her violently, the shaking had stopped but her mouth was still foaming. I madly got up and picked my phone, searched for James number on the contact, i was clumsy due to frustration, my whole body shook as i made failed attempts to locate James contact. “Fukk what am i even doing” i snapped and rushed for the door, pulling up my boxers, i came back and wrapped her with my sheets before rushing into James room. I didn’t care if he was on top of shape or below her, i just ran in blindly and met James on the bed and Shape on the chair watching a movie, James wasn’t smiling but fukk that. “Bros abeg follow me” i said to James totally ignoring Shape. “Wetin happen?” “No dy ask me question, just come” i snapped and stamped my feet “Neche what’s wrong?” shape asked me “No worry, we dy come, just dy here” i said to her and dragged James to my room. We came in and met her lying motionless on the bed. “Guy wetin happen” “I no know oo, we were just doing it o when she started shaking and the next thing she begin comot spit for her mouth” i said with a Shaky voice. James went closer and observed her. “Guy u give am any drug before the action? ” ” I no give am anything naa” “You sure?” “Guy i sure die, even water, i no give am” “Hmm, what could this be?” he asked, he appeared calm which was more than i could say for myself. I put my two hands on my head as hot tears ran down my face. “James i don kill person, James girl don die for my house “. I was almost shouting. ” Guy shut up naa, you go soon wake everybody then e go red for you” “E don already red for me naa, which other red red pas* this one” “Just chill, we go give her 2 hours and if she no wake, then we go know wetin to do am” “Nothing wey we go fit do again naa, She don die already, na prison sure pas* for me now o, my mama, my papa, wetin i wan tell them now, say i come school come kill girl for my room”. I was ranting, the reality just hit me. My life don scatter. “Let’s clean up her face first, then when she doesn’t wake, we will know whether to dump her somewhere ” ” Where do we dump her? ” i asked ” Dump who?” A female voice asked, we turned to look at the door and Shape stood there.. “Dump who” shape asked for the second time as she walked up to us. We just stared at her as she got close to the bed and saw Jennifer. “What’s wrong with her?, why is she lying like this?” “Nothing do am, shey we tell you to stay in my room that we were coming” James replied her. “I wasn’t asking you. i was asking Neche” she said and faced me. “I don’t really know, we were together when she started shaking and then this whitish something was coming out of her mouth, i don’t know what happened “. Shape climbed the bed and observed her closer than i or James could ever get. She felt her temperature and did other checks while I just stood there, me and James staring at her. ” she still dy alive? ” I asked ” she don die? ” James asked “Her body is still warm” She replied us “But she won’t die naa, eh shape, i should have listened to you when you said she was an Ogbanje” “chilax naa, let me finish Checking her”. We stood there watching. I upgraded her to my savior at that instant. We watched her like she had the final say whether Jennifer would live or die. She seemed to know what she was doing from the look of things. “Bring water and a towel” she instructed. James and i fell over each other while going for the water. The water appeared in no time and soon she was damping her forehead with the wet towel and wiping her face too. She soon rounded up and got up from the bed. “So? ” i asked ” She’s still breathing, do you know if she is epileptic?” “Epilepsy kwa, i don’t know o” i said “Hmm, Don’t worry she will be fine, she will soon wake up” she said and hugged me, ordinarily i would have grabbed every part of her body, but this night was different, the hug was more of a consolation than a flirt but i needed it though. An extra reading seat came in from James room and we all sat, watching Jenny on the bed like a cinema. 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes pas*ed, nothing happened. My worry returned but Shape’s calmness kept me reas*ured. 2 hours later, we were all nodding from sleepiness and tiredness when she moved. I jumped from my seat and watched as she got up slowly, i felt like going over there and hugging her but i checked myself. We all got up and moved to her. “Are you okay?” i asked her “What happened?” James asked. Shape just looked. “I’m fine, just a slight headache” “Thank God, you scared the hell out of us” Shape finally said. After much clarity, we bundled her into shapes room where they both were to sleep together, i didn’t need further rough play. I was visibly shaken. We sat on the bed staring into space. “Guy i no do again ” i said to James without looking at him. ” Do what?” “Girls, i no chase again, e don do for me” “Chinaza nko?” “Only her” “Eva?? ” ” And her too, maybe ” ” Cynthia?” “No no, she’s a devil” “Precious, Amara?”. I kept quiet and just eyed him. His face was expressionless but i knew James, it was still on the way and then it came. He fell on the bed and downloaded all the laughter he could find on me, it wasn’t funny at all. “Guy see as you para, James i don kill person, them go arrest me, my papa go kill me, my mama, hahahahahaha, guy i no know say you can para like this”. James just laughed me into coma. “Guy pity me naa, do you know that i French kissed and sucked this girl’s mouth, that mouth wey that thing comot for am, guy i hope say this thing is not communicable o” “And so? If en dy communicable nko?” “Wetin u mean, if i contact am, you go happy like this, say i go dy fall and dy spit anyhow? ” ” Before nko, at least e better pas* Hiv” he said and restarted his laughing bouts “James, oya begin dy go your room”…….

    EPISODE 19

    So today i saw a girl, a young girl, damn she was hot. She wore this short skirt that shot her laps out like hot live bullets, the sexiness of those laps can set the eyes on fire, and it was her selling point. Two hot laps plugged to a wide hotter hips shooting out a protruding as* out the back, jeez i could choose that figure over Beyonce’s face. Her upper body wasn’t bad either, full breasts struggling to jump out of a skimpy dress. As we all know, not all girls can have that killer figure and still get a cute face to match, except a selected few. It was either a cute face for you and a slim body or a hot body and not so cute face. This particular girl had the body but her face tried shaa. But wor dah fuur, i can as well cover her face and do her, i don’t think the man down there, i mean that niggar, the one wey Brymo say hin no get shoulder, yea the prick, i don’t think he cares about the face. That girl apart let’s go straight to the issue at hand. So after that mind wrecking event that took place in my room that night between me and Jennifer, i seemed to have lost my appetite for girls and now brush my teeth 3 times a day, i have stopped shaa, since i noticed that my toothpaste finished easily since i commenced that practice and since i had no money to spend on toothpastes,i just brushed with toothpaste and brush once a day and the rest of the time i just chew stick. I didn’t enjoy it, just that after seeing a girl i literally licked her mouth spit that thing out, my mouth developed a new kind of taste that wasn’t so pleasing. I don’t know if it was my mind playing games on me or whatever but then i brush 3 times a day. James and Shape never for once spared me the details of that nights affairs especially whenever i’m having a go at them. Shape was a perfect actress, she would give me a short play on my reaction that day while James gave the vocals perfectly, it didn’t get stale and trust me, it wasn’t funny. School closed on 22nd of December and everyone went home. I got to the house, the first thing i did was break my engagement with Amara. I decided i needed to sacrifice something to God for denying the devil the chance to ridicule me via Jennifer. So i went for midnight mas*. Started by 10pm, i was in league with the Holy Spirit as i went to church with my Bible in my right hand and my Holy rosary in my left hand, i was ready to cast out and bind the devil of womanization in my life, i was going to be born anew along with Christ and that was my new year resolution. With a delicious hymn banging in my heart, i went into the church and found a seat for myself. The service went smoothly and i was committed to it. The officiating priest’s sermon was direct from heaven, it touched the softest part of my heart that no girl had gotten to, not even my first crush. So i was busy being in the spiritual mood when this daughter of eve from where i do not know, not minding the fact that she was late to church still had the guts to be swinging her fine as* in the face of everybody, especially mine walked in. The Lord forbid that the devil will mess up this day for me. I decided i wasn’t going to be tempted today, not today. I wouldn’t have been tempted though if the girl had respected herself and found another seat but no, this piece of unbroken fine china decided the seat in front of me was the best for her. She was undeniably beautiful on her long black gown. Chocolate in complexion and smooth skinned. Perky b**bss and curvy hips graced her body, my exact full course meal. Either the Holy Spirit had left me or he was also admiring this piece with me. I fought and fought and was conquered. The rest of the service wasn’t even for me. This girl replaced my Bible. I looked at her more than i looked at the Holy book. Church service rounded up by 1 am. In my rush to interact with the girl i almost left my spiritual properties behind. Since i wasn’t successful in being born again, i had to know that girl, i can’t come and go and lose on both sides naa. “Merry xmas” i said as i walked up to her, my Bible clutched under my armpit and my rosary in my pocket. “Wish you the best” “Are you from this side” “yes, why do you ask” “Nothing really, just that I have not seen something like you in this part before ” ” Hmmm, Something like me?” she said and looked at me. “Exquisite, you look take away” “Thank you”. “Welcome, i’m already liking you but don’t take it to heart, i tend to fall in life with pretty things easily “. It was night and she was dark but i could see the blush on her. ” Hmm, you don’t even know my name and you are liking me already” “I can like you without a name, i even have a name for you sef”. She laughed and i smiled. “What name?” “moonshine” “Moonshine?” “Yea, your face shines in the darkness ” ” What’s your own name? ” ” Chimnaechelum”. I tried to make it sound sexy. “Nice name ” ” thanks” So we got to where we were supposed to part ways, i realized that i had been too busy talking nonsense that i forgot to collect her number earlier on. I asked for it, she said no, said that we would still see, i asked where, she said she lived around, i should ask people about her. We said our Good nights and second merry xmas and i started running home before they lock the doors on me. I was on my way home when it hit me that I don’t even know the girls name, how do i ask people about her. Mtcheeeew. Instead of getting her name, i was busy giving her a new one(which kind carelessness be that na). So eventually, born again i no born, get the girl i no get. Angrily i walked home almost stumbling to the ground more than once. I got home and met Amara in the parlor, she Just got back from the church. “Brother happy Christmas”. She said that with a frown on her face. She was still bitter with me ever since i dumped her. “Wish you the best, come to my room sharp sharp” i said and ran upstairs leaving her behind in confusion. She came in some minutes later. “Are you in your period?” i asked her. “No” “Lock the door and come “… I broke my new year resolution before i had even gotten to new year….. So my breakup with Amara lasted only 2 days and my born again life lasted only a few days. Anyway, i don’t blame myself, nobody can have someone like Amara in the house and still be a good Christian except you are a masturbator. I love my life the way it is, one thing must kill a man but i don’t want mine to be girls shaa. Things between me and Amara wasn’t business as usual, everybody was back home for xmas and the house was full and busy. My elder brother, Williams and 2 elder sisters, Rita and Ogechukwu, i shared my room with Williams. Even amidst all those disturbances, we managed to make a way for ourselves, we did it in my bathroom, it wasn’t so smooth but at least, we always cum and that was the real deal. At night, in my mom’s sienna, chai, i pray that car no go knack engine. We have even done it inside a wardrobe once but it was so uncomfortable that we cancelled it after that day. Chinaza had traveled to her village with the family so Amara was the only option. My brother, Williams was the baddest thing i have ever come across, he taught me everything i know about girls and is still teaching me. He was the reason i met Chinaza. I will give the full gist next time. Williams came to me on 28th and said he wanted to flex. “Guy go and flex naa abi i tie you rope?” “I need company ” he said smiling. ” Confirm, i go follow you as far as say you go pay ” ” Follow me go where, i be you like Homo?, i dy talk girls mumu” “Okay naa, carry momsy go, or Rita” “Noo, i can’t go with momsy, she go dy order malt for herself and pure water for me, Rita too is impossible, she go carry her fiance come “. He said and we both laughed. “So you no get any babe wey you go borrow me?” “No, make we go scouting naa” “na the best thing for now” After much brain washing and pleading, we acquired moms sienna and some cash from dad. Rita our big girl also rogered us. By 12 pm, we set out for a far away hotel. Willy drove while i changed music. 10 minutes drive and we stormed the hotel in our shinning black 2015 Toyota sienna. We secured a seat at the VIP section, a little far from where some group of people were celebrating what looked like a birthday. We ordered four bottles of Heineken for starts. Asides from being a womanizer, willy was a drunkard too. I was still clearing the foams from the bottom of my first bottle when he ordered his 3rd bottle, but it was none of my business, i wasn’t the one paying. Two steaming plates of fresh fish pepper soup soon showed face and we went down on it. As we were introducing the food to our stomach, willy’s phone rang and he picked, he dropped the call with a smile that revealed his entire teeth. “nelo is coming ” ” Who is nelo?” “Which other nelo do you know that i know? ” ” Chinelo, Naza’s sister?” He nodded and sipped his drink. “I thought they traveled? Is naza coming with her” “Call naza and ask her” 5 minutes later, Chinelo busted in. She was damn hot, chocolate complexioned and beautiful, the exact older version of Chinaza, only difference was the skin color. There was a third seat alright but she went straight to my brothers laps and sat her 2 tons of meaty as* on it. She waved at me and i showed her my tumbler in return. So i was now the odd one out. I shrugged and resigned to my fate. The drinks became my bae and companion. 1 hour down and we had already upturned a crate with Williams taking the lead. Chinelo just sipped her smirnoff from my brothers laps. “That body looks familiar” Williams said as we watched a girl approach us. Nelo giggled. “Yea, i have seen that shape before ” i said. The girl walked straight to me and gave me a mild slap on my face. Surprised, i looked up at the face and through the daze caused by the alcohol, i saw a familiar pretty face, the prettiness alone prevented me from emptying my drink on the her. Nelo and Williams just laughed. I smiled sheepishly and looked at the face again, slowly my numbed brain arranged the face like a set of puzzle and in the end, i made out naza’s face. I rushed up almost turning the table over and lifted her up. I hugged her and felt every part of her in High definition. I don’t know if it was the Highness in me or what but she looked Extra beautiful and sexy, she was on a red gown, at least that was what my eyes saw and her hair was braided in black and white. I gave her a light kiss and carried her on my laps. Then our evening started. We decided we were drunk enough, we ordered just two bottles each and more plates of chicken pepper soup flew in. Trust girls and meat naa. By the time we were through, none of us could walk straight, we almost nearly forgot we came in a car. “Guy that car looks familiar” i told Williams as we headed for the gate. “Which car?”. He was trying to support himself with Nelo who also was seeking support from him. “That sienna naa” “Yea, na the type popsy bought for momsy this year” he said “Yes na true, make we go house, its late already ” i said grabbing naza by the hips and heading for the gate while Williams and nelo tagged abi staggered along. Willy was in a jolly mood, he brought out his wallet to tip the gateman and the car key fell out. We both looked at each other and without any word, rushed back to where we packed the car. “Who will drive us home” willy asked. “Not me, i can’t even see my hands” i said. None of us was fit enough. We shaa left the car there and came back early the next day for it..

    EPISODE 20

    How i met Chinaza, it wasn’t chance or providence, it was Williams. I had just marked my 15th birthday and i was in my ss1 clas* while Willy was in ss3. So we were strolling home from school on a hot sunny day. Me and williams, he was rapping to 50 cent’s in da club that was blasting from his first generation china phone and i was giving him the beat with the combination of my throat and lips. Going through our neighborhood like that, a little close to our house we saw a truck packed full with properties. “its like we have new neighbors ” Willy asked nobody in particular ” I don’t know” i answered absent minded. I loved music and that track was killing me. “They better have fine chics ” Willy continued. ” Damn this Chicala is fine” he said as we got closer to the house and i took a look, a girl of about his age stood by the truck, she was chocolate skinned and beautiful in her low cut hair. “Come lets go and help them” Williams said. “Why, lets go home, am hungry” i protested but Williams was not the type of guy that makes suggestions, he makes conclusions especially when it was about girls, so my opinion didn’t matter, he just moved inside and i followed him with the bile loading inside me. “Good afternoon ma” willy greeted a woman we found inside. “How are you? ” ” Fine ma, my name is Williams Chinedu and this is my Brother Chinecherem, we live around so we decided to come and help” he said and in my mind i was like, who is the we? But i just maintained with an artificial smile. The woman thanked us and soon, we were moving things from outside to inside. Trust willy, he engaged himself only with feminine properties, ones that looked like they belonged to the girl and soon, both of them were talking while i was trying hard not to explode with frustration. I was about to faint From anger when i heard the most beautiful voice i have ever heard. “Mommy can i take the room upstairs?” I turned to look at the source of this voice and i saw a young pretty, very pretty girl, light skinned with smooth and fresh body, breasts still upcoming but the figure had prospects of being very curvy in future. She looked at me and shyly ran to her mother. I squeezed my face and smiled inside my heart. “No, Chinaza you can’t have a room to yourself, you are still small, you will share with Chinelo” her mother replied. Chinaza, the name stuck to my head like my brain. The energy inside me revamped, i was even ready to move the truck itself inside. So many eye contacts was established between me and her at regular intervals and in my heart i was like, this one likes me o. And that was how we unpacked the whole truck. I wasn’t able to talk to Chinaza shaa, i was shy and she was shy. The woman thanked us and said we should come around next time, an invitation both of us hurriedly accepted. We both went home that day rapping to puff Diddy, i need a girl to ride ride ride… My journey with Chinaza has never been an easy one and it never was. Apart from being beautiful, she was cheeky to people she doesn’t know, especially guys. I was tongue tied at that age so getting a rapport with her was like shaking Wizkid on stage, very possible but difficult. Willy was already missing school lessons because of Nelo and he always dragged me along with him. However, Nelo always came with naza and that made things easier to some extent. Willy and nelo would walk in front with willy’s arm around nelo’s shoulder while me and Naza would walk with a a perfect 2.5 ft distance between us each time. We talked about nothing in particular, just her clas*, her school, where they lived and stuffs like that, it was more of a Q&A section and even Naza said i asked a lot of questions but what does she expect when all she does is answer yes or no. This thing i’m telling you guys moved on for long o. For like 2 months, i was expecting things to fall in place by itself but no show, willy would have helped out but he was too busy corrupting nelo and shaping her into the kind of bad girl he wanted her to be. And as the devil would have it, Chinaza moved into the hostel. She wasn’t too excited as she told me about it. Me shaa, i wouldn’t say i was too excited, no, that would be mild, i was totally disappointed and mad. “I will miss you” she said uneasily as we sat together outside their house that night. The way she said it, i never expected it and i really loved it. “I will miss you too” i said. “Hmmm”. “Will you be my girlfriend?” i blurted out so fast. “Am I your boyfriend before?” she asked in a tone that Flattened my erected Peniii.. “No, i mean like you, love me and i will love you, something like that”. It wasn’t easy saying that and i didn’t find it funny even though she laughed. “And you are just telling me now, why didn’t you tell me since?” “I don’t know ” ” Okay, now that we are boyfriend and girlfriend, what next?” she asked again and I regretted asking her out but i was already half gone and there was no backing out. “I don’t know, maybe we would write love letters and…….. ” i stammered ” And what?” “And kiss ” i said that with my eyes closed in shame but it was dark so she didn’t see me. She laughed again and said hmmm ok. We talked for sometime before she stood up to go. I too stood up and without a hint, she hugged me. I hugged back and smiled, my dreams were coming true. We pulled apart and i kissed her, my first kiss. I didn’t know how it tasted, all i know was that i loved kissing her but not the kissing itself, it wasn’t so refreshing or sweet. “Whats your name again? ” she asked as she was leaving ” Chinecherem ” i answered in a mumu way. ” Chinecherem, I love you but you are not my boyfriend yet, i will tell you my mind later” “When?” “When I come back for holidays” she said and bade me goodnight. Chinaza, crazy from birth.. I think my tales are about to take a twist, i’m still considering dealing with that playboy factor, i may change to Diary of a broke loverboy, you know why? I will tell you why. Chinaza’s Jazz has finally caught up with me. She has mesmerized me in a way i don’t know, even she didn’t know how it happened. Everything took place on that day she and her sister showed up, that day we almost forgot mums car at a hotel, yea that day. I didn’t know if it was the drinks or what but whatever she did, it worked. She worked me in a way no experienced mechanic can do to a car. I don’t know if i cumed out blood but i cumed until nothing was left to cum again and even then, i kept cuming.. Lol. We took a cab home, after we discovered that none of us was in good shape to drive. We stopped at Naza’s house, nobody was there except for Naza and Nelo who just came home from the village for a friends birthday. I don’t know between me and Naza who carried each other into the house, all i knew was that Nelo carried Willie inside on her back. We called home, mom precisely, only her could tolerate us sleeping outside, Dad would drive to wherever we were to bring us home. “Mommy something happen o” Willie said as he put the call on loud speaker. “Nna what is it, how is my baby, is he Okay?” my mom asked, i was the baby. “Mommy we are fine but we won’t be coming back today o” “Why kwanu?”. My mums voice can make you laugh for Africa. “Mommy, go slow o, there are over 1000 cars in line here, so we have to sleep over here” “Ok, cover yourself o” “Yes ma” “Say your prayers o” “Yes ma, mommy Goodnight” After the call, willie just carried Nelo on his shoulder into the girls room, while naza dragged me into their parents room. “Lets play mommy and daddy ” she said and landed me a fatal kiss on my lips, we fondled and bit and licked and exchanged saliva, like a vampire, i caressed her neck with my teeth and licked her dry. I lifted her up and dropped her on the mini fridge at the foot of the bed. I tore off her dress while she pulled mine off, I didn’t know how manage but all knew was her bra was off in seconds, i lifted her breast and inserted the tip into my mouth, it went into her head and she grabbed me by the back of my head and bit at my hairs. I sucked on the breast for sometime before i went down to her navel, Circled my tongue on it and my next stop was at the oval office, surprisingly, i found no cover there, her pant was already off. I gently nudged the clit with my upper lip and she moaned, further i grabbed the clit in whole in between my upper and lower lip and pulled it softly, she shook and grabbed me by the head, pulled me up and engaged me in a hot, long kiss. I worked my way down to her vulva again and flicked it with my tongue while the juice poured out. She jumped down from the fridge and turned her back on me facing the fridge. “You know where my as* is?” she asked, turning to face me. I looked at her a little lost and nodded. “cool, fukk it” she said giving me the doggy position. “Sure? ” i asked her ” Yea” I pulled out my condom from my wallet and put it on. Slowly, i put my dikk into the hole while she moaned from pleasure and pain. Few gentle thrusts before she screamed more and faster which I obliged her. I went hard and hard and harder while she moaned loud and loud and louder. Naza wasn’t the kind of girl to call you emotional names even if you were tearing at her g.spots, she just moaned and scratched at the surface of the fridge. We both shook along with the fridge, i could hear bottles clanging inside the refrigerator but we were too engaged to care. I pulled my dikk from her as*hole and located her vulva with it, then i went in there again, she raised her left leg and dropped it on top of the fridge and everything went fluid. The pas*ion was crazy and mutual, i grabbed her by her two breasts for support while we banged each other. Time came and i came, pulling out of her, she pushed me on the bed and took the condom off my dikk, she put my dikk into her mouth and Licked every last piece of cum on it. She worked on it with her tongue while she bit the tip with her teeth which was a bit painful and much more sensational. I embraced the sensational part. “Who taught you to give head like this?” i asked her “I watch movies” “With whom?” “My mother” she said and climbed on me, planting her lips on mine to shut me up. She sat on my rock hard dikk and slid it into her hole, she did a perfect cowgirl on me while i held her by the waist, i was scared that people over at my house could hear the pounding sound we made. She bent low and kissed me while i held her by the back and from below her, i started thrusting upward, the look on her face gingered me further. Her mouth was wide open and her eyes shut, i pulled her further down and grabbed her breasts with my mouth while we banged. We both came all over the bed. By the time we were done, one could swim in the cum we downloaded on that bed. We flipped the sheets away and pulled down the curtains, using it for blanket, we cuddled under the curtains. “You are the best” i said to her “I know” she replied. “I don’t need another ” ” Thank God you know” “And you don’t need another guy” “You don’t have to tell me” “Hmmmm” “I saw a new style on that movie, can we do it? ” she asked ” Do you want to bleach my dikk?” i asked her and she nodded “Crazy girl”. More f**kery followed later in the night. We spent the next day cleaning up the mess we made. After stock taking, i discovered to my dismay that we had broken two bottles of red wine inside the fridge and four tumblers. Whatever shaa, Chinaza won my heart over and over and over a million times that night. I don’t know if it was the terrific head she gave or the experience, which ever one, i’m reviewing my playboy policy..

    EPISODE 21

    Moment of recall. Some girls can be wicked ah swear. So many things have made me come to this conclusion but i will only spill out one, i’m even ashamed of writing it but i will do that anyways. This happened one time in my first year. James had come home with this kind of girl that made me drool for over a week. She was tall, chocolate skinned and curvylicious. They were all over each other and mehhn i was mean jealous. James had introduced her to me and taken her into his room and banged the door. He didn’t even invite me to help him sample the chic. From that day, i made up my mind that i was going to get a new chic that looks exactly like James own. For that period, i almost lost interest in Naza, i was going through Facebook, around school and everywhere looking for James’ girl’s clone like it was Gulder Ultimate Search. So one day like this, James had invited the girl over again and after everything they did in which i was kept out of, i’m not nursing any grudge o, shaa both of us saw her off. In the process of seeing her off, we walked a long distance to her lodge, she was romancing with James on the high way while i was playing temple run on my phone. We got to their gate and while they where kissing their parting kiss, my Eagle eyes spotted what i have been looking for. Walking down the road was this epitome of freshness. From the back, i loved everything i saw, tall like James’ broad, her blue Jean trouser and her white sleeveless top gave her that mighty figure. I left my companions and ran blindly after her. “Hey” i said as i caught up with her. “Hi” she said and faced me, the front was perfect, she was beautifully dark and had this gap teeth. “Sorry to bother you, but i was there minding my business when i saw you strolling down and something inside of me told me I needed to know you ” ” hmmm” she said after a smile. “Well am Chinecherem and you?” i said bringing out my hand for a shake. “Chinwe” she replied taking my hand. Hers was soft and delicate. “Okay, so you stay around here” i asked and she nodded. So after a little chit-chat and all, i got her number and happily i went home with James. We talked on phone, i guess i must have called her more than i called Naza and i enjoyed every bit of it. So the day came that she invited me over after much persuasion from me. I had gone with James, he branched at his babes and i went over to mine. The time was 6pm and i had expected to have a little fling with her. I got to her house and met her dressed in this kind of seductive dress that could make a priest forget his vow. We went inside and i sat on the only chair in the room while she sat on the bed. She was beautiful and i couldn’t wait to unwrap her but then, i had to take things easy, after all i had her for the whole night. For like 30 minutes, we were talking and laughing and she was baring everything to me. One thing after another, i moved from the seat to the bed, we snuggled closer and i grabbed her, i kissed her and licked her mouth like it was a mango fruit and squeezed her breast like i wanted to draw milk. We were high and already getting to the point where we were supposed to yank off our clothes, then we heard a loud knock on the door. Adjusting ourselves, she went to the door and this guy came in. I don’t know how many people here that have watched game of thrones, if you have and you knew Khal Drogo, yes the hefty one, you wouldn’t be mistaken if you called the guy that came in on us his Junior brother. Tall, huge, macho, his chest alone was bigger that nicki minaj’s breast and biceps were 5 times my own. He was dark and had a mean face with a mean bear bear. My little mind was telling me that i was boiling in a soup pot. The guys small mouth didn’t even look like something that could forge out a smile. “So who is this one” he asked observing me as i sat there fondling my phone and sweating. Chinwe looked at me like i just appeared there and spread her hands. “I don’t know o, he just came in and said he wanted to tell me something”. I almost nearly farted. I looked at her with my mouth open like the gate of hell. “My friend who are you and what do you want with my girl “the guy asked spreading his hands which made his mas*ive biceps shake like the as* of a woman twerking. I swallowed hard “Brother, am a member of the Jehovah witness”. The thing just dropped out of mouth before i could shut it. “Jehovah witness?” he asked and i nodded. “What is your name? ” ” Brother Isreal”. “What did you bring for us? ” ” The word of God” i said and eyed Chinwe who just boned her face like she didn’t know why I was there. That girl will be a good contract killer, Walahi. “Where is it?” he asked as he sat on the seat facing me. “Well, a chapter of the Bible told us that, for God so loved the world that he gave us………. “. He raised his hand indicating me to stop. ” I don hear that one before, tell me another chapter ” he said and my sweat tripled. ” No that’s the one i want to talk about, it deals with salvation and my topic and inspiration is driven from that particular chapter “. I was even surprised at what was coming out of my mouth. ” Eeeh, ok naa continue ” he said, and for over 15 minutes, i was preaching the Bible that i don’t even have a personal copy, of course all my citations were without chapters or verses, how can someone like me from a family like mine know what a particular chapter of the Bible said. I cooked stories and preaching tire. At a point, all of us relaxed o, the guy was just nodding, in my mind i was like, since i couldn’t bang this girl today, make i kuku convert them naa. Finally the baba later free me shaa, straight from the lodge, i walked direct home, i didn’t even bother to check up on James or his new babe. I just ran to my house and straight to sleep. These pussi niggas peasants, yeah All my niggas gon be present, yeah (here) Bish I’m wrapped up like a present, yeah I got credit fukk a debit (f**k it) And, I’m the truth this not no flexing I got, skinny jeans with a weapon And, I’m the future and the present Baby, pop that pussi like a Pepsi Baby, water like a water fountain My money colored like a clown Show me them places like a noun She can’t, can’t ride this dikk without a sound… Young thug can rap for Iraq, that nigga is good. I was following his dope track “no way” that was blasting on my home theater, shaking my head like i was high on cheap weed. I was in this mood like this when shape walked into my room in all her glamour and curvytude, suited in a jean bumshot and singlet that was getting tired of holding up her heavy b**bss. I switched from singing the song to humming it. She walked straight to the bed and sat beside me while i put my hand around her waist. “Neche do you have airtime?” she asked and i nodded my head still nodding to the music too. “Can i use your phone, i want to call someone” she asked and as if on cue, the hook to the song came up and i sang it out loud No, no, no way, no-no way No, no, no way, no-no way No, no, no way, no-no way “Please nah” she said rubbing my laps. I paused the music and faced her. “For this thing you just did, i will allow you a 30 seconds call” She smiled as i flipped my Nokia Torchlight at her and she started dialing a number. “Who are you calling?” i asked her “My baby boo” “But i’m here naa, how can you be calling me when am here in your own present presence” i said and she rolled her eyes on me and started her call while i kept looking at her as* picturing my self on top of it, my dikk rose but my tight boxers held it tight. I was too busy meditating on the mysteries of her as* that i didn’t notice that the call had lasted more than 2 mins. Before my mind came back, she was already done with a big smile on her face. I put the music back on and red “for your mind, you don outsmart me naa” i Said and she smiled pecking me “Who be that your boyfriend sef?” “You won’t know him, he is new” “Ar ar, when did you meet him?” “This xmas, he gave me a lift in his venza and asked me out” “so because he get car and we no get, na why you leave all the guys wey dy die for you in this lodge come follow am abi, even James wey dy use ur picture masturbate” i said and she hit me on the laps laughing. “That one dy shaa, anywhere you never do me new year o” “Baby what would you like me to give you?” she asked and i faced her with the naughtiest smile my face could gather.. “I want a 3some” i said caging the laughter that was trying to run out of my mouth. “Hmmm, with whom and whom” “You, your sister and I, i can handle the both of you” “No, i want it to be Me and Naza” she said with a naughty grin “No, i need an entirely different vjay” “and what’s the difference between my own and Chinaza’s own, why do you keep cheating on her” “Its just like the difference between jollof rice in Mr biggs and Jollof rice in Lady Stainless joint” i said smiling “Whats the difference?” “The style, the size of the rice and how oily it is, how it is packaged plus others” i said and she pulled my ear. “So which is better Mr biggs or Lady stainless? ” ” I haven’t been to mr biggs so i will say Lady stainless is better ” i said and winked at her ” So between me and naza, who is mr biggs and who is lady stainless?” “I don’t know ” ” You must know o, tell me osiso” “How can i know when i have not tasted you? For now you are mr biggs”. She slapped my cheek playfully and got up from the bed and headed towards the door. I called her back. “Shapy i’m serious” “About what? ” ” The 3some ” i said and bit my lips while i sang a part of the “no way” song that came up, referring to shape. “I told that bitsh suck my vienna out the can man She started doing it without a command I want you to fit this dikk inside your hips And I wanna eat that pussi creamy like a dip” “You can try it with Chinaza and Jennifer ” she said and laughed. “Shape thank you, happy new year, begin dy go your room” i said and faced my tv. She stood there smiling and looking at me. “I would have been your girl if we were both single ” she said looking at me. ” But now that we are both UNSINGLE? “Nothing, your bae is my friend ” ” come closer” i told her and she came to the bed. “Shape you know we feel something for each other right?” i said and carried her on my laps. “Yea but its so inappropriate ” ” Yea, but then, it doesn’t stop us from having a fling once in a while” “Hmmm, i’m a virgin shaa” she said “V what? ” ” virgin, forget about all this things i carry, its natural”. As she was saying that, i was busy feeling her body like they can tell me if she was saying the truth or not. “Shape, that 3some, don’t worry about it again, i was only joking” i said and she laughed. “Are you running because am a virgin?” “Why will i run, just go to your new guy, let him break you and then come back ” She slapped me and ran out of the room while i stared at her trying to figure out the virginity in her but to no avail. Haaa, shape a virgin, noo, izz not possible but who can i ask. Anyways whether she is telling the truth or not, the only way to find out is ehnmm, you guys understand naa but then i’m not interested in that, the last virgin i broke is still stuck to me like my brokenness. Chinaza. I can’t afford another one No, no, no way, no-no way No, no, no way, no-no way No, no, no way, no-no way
    EPISODE 22
    Stupid little things can go a long way in influencing a big part of our lives. So me and Chinaza decided we needed minor break. Funny thing was this was coming not up to a month after I had pledged to love her until Christ’s second coming. The cause of the break up was something as insignificant as I love you. I don’t usually like chatting with her on whatsapp because we always end up fighting, so whatever we want to say to each other, we do it over phone calls and that’s it. On a day like this, i decided to compliment a picture she uploaded on her whatsapp profile where she wore a cloth that brought out that perfect shape in her, her as* protruding and b**bss standing like Kilimanjaro. I must confess she looked awesome in it, all thanks to her beauty and curves plus camera360 and picsart. So i chatted her up. We talked, i asked her if I could hold her waist, she sent a smiley and said its mine. Well we got kinky, everything we usually did in my room, on my bed, we did it there on whatsapp, we didn’t exchange pics shaa, i don’t like the idea of seeing things that i can’t actually access. Well our chat was wonderful for a very long time, i was just conscious of the point where we get to argue but it didn’t come, surprisingly, the chat was about to end on a good note. We both got tired and decided to go to bed, we both said Goodnights and just then, it came. “I love you baby” i said abi texted “love you too” she replied “Put ‘I’ there ” i said ” How?” she asked “Say i love you too and not love you too” “Hian, biko take it like that” “No, you gats to put it for me to know it came from your heart, that love you too isn’t romantic enough” “neche if you can’t take that one, leave it”. For no reason, i was getting angry at this little drama, she too wasn’t helping matters. Naza was bad mouthed and also bad fingered. Well we argued and i insisted on the ‘I’ before love you and she too stuck to her high horse. In the end, i told her that if she didn’t comply with my demands then the relationship will have to be in traffic jam for the time being. Well Naza being who she was, she just said ok. Our chat ended and our affair too. I wanted to teach her a lesson, i wanted her to miss me, maybe then she will come to harken to all my demands. Well shaa, it turned out that i was the one being taught the lesson, i don’t know if she missed me or not but i know i so much wanted her to come and say sorry so we can continue but then, naza decided to teach me lessons. Early the next day, i switched on my data and ran straight to her whatsapp contact, found her online, a look at her profile again made me want to end the quarrel but i wasn’t prepared for the heaps of laughter she would drop on me. Hmmm, pride was just about to destroy my relationship. I was really moody for days, yes, our beef lasted for days. And in my mind, i was considering that some one must have made naza realize how beautiful she was for her to be doing shakara for me like that. She obviously didn’t tell shape about it and i also didn’t want to tell her. Well shaa, i can’t come and die over Chinaza when i have Eva and others to think about. Crazy Eva, she came back to school three good weeks after resumption. We shaa, i missed her and she missed me too. She told me for the first time in her life, she had made a new year resolution. She was going to upgrade from being my bang mate to my girlfriend, now that was funny but the other funniest part was that she had declared no sex for us until she had accomplished her aim. Now that was some sick Shit. So who do i run to? Shape is a virgin, Cynthia is the devil’s personal as*istant, Jennifer was, well anyway, i wont even let her number step foot in my contact talk more of she herself into my room. So this was my case. “i thought you loved blowjobs” i asked Eva the day she came to my room. “Your sperm is not sweet, i don’t love blowjobs, i just love you and the blowjob was a package that came along with it” she said as she did her best not to get entangled with me, she was practically brushing my hands off. Hmmmm, Evangeline was brushing my hands off and i thought this year was going to be an interesting one. Now see, Eva was a beautiful girl, undoubtedly, the type that you would like to introduce to every one you know but then again, i already have everything i want in her in Chinaza, though she could be more hardcore but then, you can never manage the two of them at a time, you will just wake up one day and die away. I thought we were both content with our affair of f**kery until she told me about her new year resolution. The offer was more than tempting but then, the Apple Eve ate was also tempting. We spent that day dragging on and on, i gave her a thousand reasons why our present arrangement was the best and she gave me a million reasons why we shouldn’t be fuvking when we are not dating. Shaa shaa, she went home and the only thing she gave me was a hug that lasted only 5 seconds. Immediately she left, an idea struck me, i picked my whatsapp and updated my profile picture with a very sexy, Seductive picture of Eva, i was hoping she would see it and At least let me have a little poke, even if she doesn’t let me cum inside her, at least, i can manage. 3 minutes after I uploaded the picture, my whatsapp notification binged, i checked and got a real shocker, a positive shocker. “I love you too”. That was the message and it was from Chinaza. Hehehe, chinaza have finally mellowed. “Hmmm, for real?” i sent to her. “Yes, i’m sorry” she texted. “Ok, thank God you finally get small sense” i said and added a smiling emoticon “Thank you, can you now remove that picture before i get annoyed”. I should have known. Lolol. “You are plus one today, that’s a plus to your your age, a plus to your wisdom, to your intelligence, to your brilliance, to your sexiness, to your hips, as* and b**bss and a plus to everything good and sexy in your life, may your birthday bring great Joy that will surprise even you into your life. My star, my moon, my baby mama, my headache and my soft mattress, happy birthday” There is only one person in this world that i can send this type of message to. You are free to guess. I made sure I woke her up with it, i wanted mine to be the first message she will receive on her birthday otherwise it may mean a one month long fight between us. Her reply came in few seconds after I sent the message. She called shaa, apparently my text had woken her up. The sleep was still all over her voice but she was excited. “Baby, I love you so so much much sugar, muaah!!” that was a kiss “Haa, easy o before you give me diabetes, happy birthday sweetheart” “Thanks baby, I love you”. “I know, so who’s taking you out?” “Are you not coming? ” “Come where?” “My lodge nah, Neche you have to come o, its my birthday, your baby’s birthday” she stressed that baby and birthday and my brain translated it to “come and spend money” “Your birthday and then? Is it Christ’s birthday abi Christmas that i will visit you?” “Hmmm, Neche even on my birthday, you want to start quarrel?maybe you think I will fight with you and then you can dodge giving me my gifts, lie lie, I will fight with you today, tomorrow you will bring me my gift o”. I only smiled, she don catch me like that. Shaa I was planning to pay her a surprise visit but on a low key. I will just go there, chop food, chop her and go back to my house, I have done enough fasting and needed to flex my muscle. “Bae chillax naa, we will see later but not today” I said “Why naa, it’s not fair o, if its other girls now” “Ehe, if it’s other girls?” “I don’t know, Just don’t talk to me again if you don’t visit me today, imagine, you have not even been to my lodge for once, to see how I am coping, if I am fine or not” “If you are not fine, come down to my place. In fact i don’t blame you, na me send you text message ” I said and gave her a 200km hiss. “Neche am sorry, please come naa, I want to see you, eh biko” “I’m not coming, I don’t have transport money, happy birthday and goodbye”. The call ended like that, none of us usually took the fights to heart as it was a normal thing. I manage to pull myself up from the bed and brushed my teeth before I forgot. Dressed up my room and went outside. “Good morning sweetheart”. That was chinenye greeting me, she was one of the curve queens in our lodge, her face normally looked better when she had make up on than when it was bare, but she fine to an extent shaa. So since her face was bare, I just fixed my gaze on her b**bss. “Baby was*up naa” “I’m sharp” “I can see that ” I said eyeing her all over and spiritually licking my lips. “Its like your body is still asleep” I said shifting my gaze back to her b**bss. “How?” “Your breast, they are lying down on your singlet, wake them up”. She hit me with the towel she was holding and burst into laughter. I shaa adjusted the singlet for her and ran into James room. I met the nigga lying on the floor fast asleep. I walked up to him and beat him up. “Nna guy what naa, someone can not sleep for you again even on Saturday ” he protested rubbing his eyes. ” Mumu today is Friday, I just need one thing from you” “What? ” ” That flower your babe gave you for your birthday” “what for?” “I want to give it to Naza for her birthday, I hope the scent is still there? ” ” Oh, today is her birthday” “Yes, where is the flower abeg?” “Erm check the wardrobe “. I got the flower, a red one, the smell was still partially there but it wasn’t much. ” You body odour is already smelling all over it” I said looking down at him. He gave me one kind look that made me correct my statement. “Don’t worry, I can manage it”. “One more thing” I said pocketing the flower. “What is it? ” ” The birthday wishes card she also gave you” “Noo, that one is specially made for me, She will ask for it one day and i can’t give it to you” “James please naa, remember I once gave you Chinaza’s bumshort to give to your babe as a gift” I said hiding a smile, he eyed me and smiled. “Oya carry microphone and tell everybody naa, get it from my locker”. I was able to dig up the card, it had a beautiful design and the message was just perfect for my baby. “How will you change the name on it?” James asked “Don’t worry, Just watch me”. After over 15 minutes of cutting and designing bits and pieces of paper, I was able to cover the names on the card and wrote mine on it. My next stop was in shapes room. She was on a cotton short nicker and a top that looked like a bra and a singlet. It showed her stomach and her b**bss too. I would have been distracted but I was there for serious business, besides anytime I set my eyes on shape, the first thing that comes into my mind is Virgin. “The sexiest virgin ever lived” I hailed her as I got into her room. “Hey, sweetheart” “How was your night?” “Cute, yours? ” ” Fine o, Just this cold and loneliness”. She smiled and eyed me naughtilly. “Hope you have wished Naza a happy birthday?” “It was the first thing I did today and that is also why I am here” “Tell me about it” “Well first one, can i have your powder?”. “Ok”. Her powder smelled absolutely nice so all I did was take out the rose flower, sprinkle the powder on it while Shape watched like I was doing a merlin something. I managed to get the flower to smell like the powder, it was a lovely one and shape laughed at my ingenuity. What else can a broke lover boy like me do?. “Now onto the next one” I said and shape looked at me in a really sweet way and my mind yelled, Virgin! “Ermmm, shape, do you have a new pant or bra that you are not using?”. Hahaha, now, that was supposed to be a joke but i was serious in a way. “Why?” she asked Giving me a puzzled look. “I want to add it to a list of Naza’s birthday presents” “But me and her don’t wear the same size naa, I’m bigger than her” she said and that was true, Naza was the hour glas* type of girl but everything was moderate in a sexy kinda way, but shape, men she was just shape. “Don’t worry, the tailor will slim fit it” I said and we both burst into laughter. So with everything set, I was ready to drop in on Naza like a nuclear bomb, her presents were lined up on my bed according to heights. The card, the flower and a bottle of red wine, borrowed from a lodge mate. I had promised to return it to him once I get back, Naza hated red wine and I was sure she wouldn’t drink it but at least she would acknowledge that I bought WINE even though it wasn’t her type but then, I can always say I forgot that she hated it. Shape was going to accompany me, I don’t know who was going to pay for the transportation but then, I know that the Lord will always be Good. 11am on the dot, I was preparing to take my bath when my door opened. “Shape, its stilll early naa, I thought we agreed 1pm” I said facing the T.v. “Hello” a totally different, Seductive and hypertension reducing voice called out. I jerked up and took a look in the direction of the door. I didn’t know whether to be angry or smile at her. She just stood there in all her beauty and curvature, her skintight mini gown x-raying her body, her face looking better than it was the last she had visited, her curves were sharper than a French curve abi bending corner. She was a heavy, the Mercy Johnson kind of heavy. The moment I set my eyes on Cynthia at my door, I knew Chinaza’s birthday was about to be relegated to the background.

    EPISODE 23

    If you thought I was ever going to miss My baby’s birthday just because Cynthia dropped her bad as* in my room that fateful day, well, you would have thought right and if you thought I wasn’t going to miss Naza’s birthday for anything in the world, errrm, you should be right also. Of the above two school of thoughts, the later was more applicable, I so much wanted to stay back and sample what Cynthia had brought for me, that was me, if it’s cute and shapy and wears a skirt, I’m in. But then, Shape wasn’t ready for that and besides, she had to protect the interest of her dearly beloved friend. “Cynthia,” I had sang out the very moment she walked into my room, all thick with her endowments. She would have been very muscular if she was a man. She gave me that look that would knock any man out and make any flaccid dick do a dab. As I sat there, the Cynthia I saw was far from the devil I had always tagged her to be, you couldn’t find any better definition for a perfect angel, only that she wasn’t fair or had wings. “Baby,” she muttered, walking up to me on the bed and drawing me into her thick, sweet, seductive perfume. She sat besides me, her b**bss all over me like the anointing was on the disciples on the day of Pentecost. “You never told me your were coming.” I managed to say amidst the whole excitement. “You would have told me not to come.” she replied, dropping her head on my shoulder. “I missed you,” she whispered and dropped her hand on my bare laps, just below my boxers. “You missed me abi you missed the banging.” She laughed and withdrew her hand. “I missed everything.” she replied. I turned to face her and God was I tempted. I imagined the about 30 minutes fun that would happen if I was to get down with this fine lady and compared it with the days of unlimited tongue lashing that would happen if I happened to miss Chinaza’s birthday. My mind told me it wasn’t worth it but the flesh was weak all through. My body was going to be disappointed in me if I missed this opportunity of sampling this girl again after a very long time. “So what did you bring for me?”, I asked, trying to cover up all the dirty thoughts going on in my mind. “See me here, am I not enough?” she asked, giving me a suggestive smile. “You what? You want to come and forget something again abi?” I asked and she burst into laughter. “How is your baby? Are you still together?” she asked maybe expecting a no. She was disappointed shaa but that didn’t stop her from stealing a kiss. A kiss I willingly allowed her to steal. We adjusted ourselves on the bed for a little romance, as e dy hot. My lips found its way to hers and we kissed explosively, kissing each other out of breath, my hands were already on their ways to her zipper, yapping at her bra strap at the same time, the bra snapped first and the load of her mas*ive jugs fell on her clothes. I moved my lips down to her nape and my left hand involuntarily found its way to her mas* of fleshy breasts. It had been a long time since I last got some action and my body reflected it so much. One thing to the other and we were both on the bed, a few inches to being fully unclad. My fingers were already penetrating her wet coochie while my fully erect peni were protesting to take their rightful place, she moaned softly to my touches and held my near exploding dick with her hands, trying to dislodge it. I tugged and pulled at her panties and she held my hands to my surprise. I gave her a look that portrayed all the vexation I was going to heap on her if she dared stopped what she had started. She merely smiled and nodded towards the door. “Lock your door please,” she said and I jerked up from her, shooting my gaze towards the open door. “Ok, the door,” I replied and got up from the bed, adjusting my boxers and heading towards the door, I waved the curtains aside and Shape was there, staring at my awkwardly elongated boxers. “Shape!” I snapped, staring at her. “Chinecherem!” she called back, her eyes still fixed on my erected dick. “Must you come now?” I asked with frustration all over my voice, disregarding her attention towards the lower part of my body, after all she was a virgin, what does she know about it all. “How do you mean?” she asked with a wicked grin on her face. “I have a guest baby, could you wait a little while before coming back?” I pleaded. “It depends,” she replied. “On what?” “Whether your visitor is male or female.” “Male ko? Male and my something is rising like this, do I look “Gayish” to you?” “So it’s a female then?” she asked trying not to break into a laughter. “Yes naa, and I need to sort out something with her before everything goes cold.” I was really trying hard not to yell. “I’m not coming back anything, I am going in there with you now.” “Shape please, you know we love each other.” She nodded and smiled. “That’s why I am trying to protect you dear.” “Protect me? You are frustrating me joor.” I said getting really annoyed that I was losing my attention. We dragged on, back and forth and in the end, shape found her way into my room, spoiling my fun. By the time we both got back in, Cynthia was already dressed and that added to all my anger. ” Oya go and bath dear, you don’t want to be late for Naza’s birthday, trust me,” she said with a tone of feminine domination. I eyed her and hissed. Soon she was already conversing with Cynthia while I grudgingly made my way to the bathroom, I was visibly annoyed at everything, the shower, the water, the soap, the sponge, even my own dick was annoyed at me. “Shape had it been you weren’t a virgin, I would have f**ked the both of you right there.” I murmured angrily. I soon finished and got out of the bathroom, Shape and Cynthia were busy with the TV and chatting away when I got out. I eyed her again and turned my face towards Cynthia. “Cynthia, you can do anything with her,” I pointed at Shape and continued “but don’t be friends please.” Shape laughed and Cynthia smiled. “Why?” she asked “Because it will be an infringement on some of my interests, just don’t be friends with her abeg.” The two of then burst into laughter. It puzzled me how Cynthia wasn’t even angry at Shape for disrupting our little fun, well shaa, girls and their ways. I managed to change, away from their prying eyes and trust me, it wasn’t easy at all. Shape never for once took her eyes off and Cynthia took occasional glances. 2pm and were already on our way out, I, Shape and Cynthia. We got to where we had to pick a bus, Cynthia bade us farewell and dropped a simmering hot hug on me, one that let my body x-ray hers. As she walked away from us, all protruding parts of her body shook and my dick nodded in unison. “That was what you made me miss.” I said and pinched Shape at her back. She winced and slapped my arm off. “Don’t worry, Chinaza will compensate you for that.” “I’m always telling you, they are not the same.” “Which is better, she or Naza?” “Don’t ask me,” I replied. She laughed and rubbed my hand in a way that I couldn’t help but smile. You needed to see how Chinaza threw herself at me when we got to her lodge. If I hadn’t eaten, I would have landed on the ground. She was all over me, showing me off to her lodge mates in a way that got me wondering if she thought I was some celebrity. The sweet aroma of fried rice ushered us into her room. Funny enough, that was my first time of ever visiting her. The room was up to her standard as a girl. The room was very feminine in a an appealing way and I loved it. The pot of rice soon got down from the fire, we sang a happy birthday song, I presented my borrowed gifts which she loved so much and never hid that fact, she returned the favor with loads of kisses and sweet names calling. I flashed the “Borrowed Bottle of Red Wine” in her face and dropped it by the bed. Apparently she hated red wines and wasn’t going to drink it. I brought it for that purpose though, because I was going to return it to the owner, I don’t have 5k to lavish on colored alcoholic water when Heineken and Smirn Off is always available. Well, the music came on and she twerked to her birthday, she had the floor alone for sometime before Shape joined her and then her other sexy lodge mates. She twerked on me and I praised God that I didn’t miss this birthday for anything. Her happiness made me happy and the coming night looked so promising, if you know what I mean. The power of alcohol could never be over estimated, Not even the devil could keep me away from shape’s backside, I tapped all the blessings and kept it for myself alone. Her female lodge mates weren’t spared too, it was a rocking spree and I immersed myself fully in it. The other guys couldn’t keep away from shape, I didn’t like it and wished I had brought James along, he would have handled shape and kept her away from those scavengers. We danced and danced, got more drunk and danced more. Had it been possible, I don’t who would have done it but I was sure one person between Chinaza and I, would have swallowed the other. Only then did I realize how much I had missed my baby. Maybe the booze in my system opened my eyes to that fact. She was so beautiful as she sweated from the rigorous twisting and shaking of her body and as*ets. And when the time came, remember that borrowed bottle of wine? The one of “FIVE THOUSAND NAIRA”, the one I was planning to return? Yes, that particular one, Chinaza “Popped” it! I think it’s time someone told these girls that even though boys will always be boys, they will always have someone special. And if he tells you that you are the one, do not stress it, because even though he may be lying, it could also be the truth. What am I saying sef, I’m even confusing myself. Yes, because we are very likely to sleep with everything on skirt as long as it’s not underaged (underage turns some people on tho), and it’s got a big backside (my favorite), it simply does not mean we are madly in love with them, we will always reserve that special part of us for our special one, it could be true that the special one is you, it could also be false. And apart from the as*, we do appreciate a great face because when we are over the the table with our friends, sharing some alcohol, we can’t possibly tell her to stand up so we can introduce her and her as* to our friends, it’s the face that gets all the attention. So no need fussing all over the place because your boo is hitting on a girl with some as* when you have the better face. That was how Chinaza was bringing the roof down on me because Cynthia forgot her g-string in my room, ehen? So what? It’s only at this moment that whenever I remember that almost forgotten saga, I go gaga. Although I don’t tell it to her that I’m mad over it, hehehe, if it was you, will you tell? Now to the main thing.. Me and Chinaza decided we needed another little quarrel, don’t ask me why, I would have willingly told you if I remembered, it wasn’t about the wine she popped, it was actually over something insignificant, that wine wasn’t insignificant. Meanwhile, our lodge borehole just went amok, it suddenly started running 24 hours a day, open or closed, the water just kept turning up like olamide’s turn up, our lodge almost experienced a mini flooding until unexpectedly, the water stopped. That was the beginning of water scarcity in our lodge. We all sat at home, expecting the landlord to shake body, when the thing Clear us for eye was when we saw her daughter, Ngozi, a 16 year old unusually endowed girl, mind you, I’m not eyeing her, she is beautiful but I wasn’t eyeing her. As I was saying, when we saw her pushing her brand new wheelbarrow to the public tap some distance away from our lodge, that was when it dawned on us that salvation was a little far away. That morning, I was tired of wooing shape to get me a gallon of water each time, shape needed a new wooing for every favor you would like to ask her. I decided to follow her to the tap before preparing for school, I needed water for that purpose. We walked abi dragged ourselves to the tap, shape caused heart attacks as she strode besides me, clad in her singlet that was lifting her b**bss like a weightlifter, the b**bss peeped over the top of the singlet in an enticing way. Her bumshots lapped to her laps and jingled each step she took. Depending on how fast you walk, the journey from our lodge to the public tap takes around 3 minutes, well, me and shape, it took us 10 minutes. Trust me, you can’t be walking with Shape and like to walk fast, not when your left hand is clutching a gallon and your right hand clutching her booty. With her, you just can never get enough, if I can’t get down on that as*, I might as well rub off some blessings from it and she doesn’t mind. Our entourage arrived at the pump and the queue there wasn’t just mad, it was raving. Shape took both our gallons and added it to the queue. I moved my self to a corner and made a sit out of piles of stone, just a little close to the lines of gallons. My phone was at home and there was nothing else I could do but sample the various types of as*orted figures and shapes that came to fetch water. I was doing just fine until one lady got closer to where I was, one fine plump lady with a booty that can back two 3 year old children effortlessly, that kind of booty that when you climb it, you will just hang on it and it wouldn’t bulge. She stole my attention from the rest, I even forgot about shape for a while where she was chatting away with some girls and drawing attention from the sex starved guys that littered the place. The fair lady came closer to where I was and bent low, right in front of me to screw tight the cover of her gallon. She made it look like a tough job and spent a considerable amount of time on it, worst still, she faced me while she was at it and her robust b**bss that had no iota of stretch mark dangled and smiled at me through the neck of her blouse. My mischievous dick was already dangling along and I positioned and repositioned myself to avoid getting caught. I must have been so engrossed in watching something that I can’t access that I didn’t notice when shaped came to where I sat and nearly shoved me off my make shift chair with her booty. “Neche, I hope you know she is someone’s wife?” she whispered to me. “Did I say I was looking at her?” I protested and she laughed. “If you were not looking at her then how did you know who I was talking about?” I swear shape is 30 percent beautiful and the other percent troublesome. “I accept, I was looking, now can you let me look in peace after all you won’t allow me look at your own.” She laughed and got up, shoved my head and went back to fetch our gallons, to my relief. But then, it was too late. The woman had already covered her gallon of water. We fetched our gallons and I had to take the two of them, mine and hers, home. I was playing the superman while the only reward she gave me was chat away the remaining strength I had after carrying 2 jellycan’s of water. I dragged my jellycan of water into my corridor and dropped it there, a very pleasant surprise awaited me as I bounced into my room. Eva was there on my bed, relaxed like she was the one that paid that year’s rent for me and watching the T. V. “Hey baby!” she screamed in a girly way when she saw me. She actually jumped on me from the bed. That girl is just too beautiful for my liking. As I held her up, packing up her as* with my arms and looking up at her face in the air, I just prayed shape wouldn’t intrude like she was notorious for. I dropped her and the proper hugging commenced, that moment a nicki minaj replica would drop all her details on you and all your hormones would rush in affirmation that she was indeed hot. If only she knew what she did to me then. “Neche did you forget me?” she asked. “How can I? Is that one even possible?” I was rubbing her body, trying to make my point clear, I don’t know if she was aware of what I missed about her, I just know that I needed that body very much, I could manage without the head. She seemed to have forgotten about the condition she gave me before we could sex up again, the condition that it would only happen if we started dating. Locking my door was the first priority then I flipped my shirt to where I didn’t know. I kept her pant carefully by the side though. Then our foreplay began, she was always ahead of me in that aspect. Before I could drop properly on the bed, she was already on my dick, hounding on it. I pulled her up from there, I had better ideas. I grabbed her lips with mine and licked it dry and then went for her rounded b**bss, unpacking them from her bra and handling the nipples like they were some radio tuner. I mas*age the mas*ive jugs and my dick went harder while she moaned and called my name in a way that turned me on the more. My adventurous fingers found it’s way down to her belly but*on and screeched to a brake at her coochie. They slopped down and went into the hole like some snake, she jerked and pinned my hand against her clit. I made a few thrusts with my fingers and would have replaced them with my dick if my phone didn’t ring. We both peeped at the screen of my phone, probably to find out the intruder that was trying to mess up this lovely moment. Chinaza’s picture came up on the caller screen. I had to pick because she could give you 20 missed calls and still continue. “So this is how you are, eh Chinecherem?” she shouted on the phone. “Chinaza how am I?” “Just because of a little quarrel, you decide you won’t call me again abi?” “Shebi you said I shouldn’t call your phone again?” “You didn’t even ask if I was joking,” she replied and I smiled. “So you are missing me?” I asked. “No I’m not, I’m on my way to your lodge shaa, that’s why I called you, keep something for me.” The phone went dead before my brain could process the information she just dropped. On her way to my lodge could be that she was at the gate or already at my door. Dj Khalid’s [h2]ANOTHER ONE[/h2] kept ringing in my head. I was about to get caught again and I didn’t even enjoy anything. Eva just stared at me, she probably heard the call. Her problem wasn’t that she was on her way over, her problem was that she just remembered the condition she gave me before we could have sex again and the fact that my girl just called in the middle of our fun wasn’t helping matters. She left before Naza came tho. But then, why was it hard for her to believe that she could be the one I’m really into? Although it was a lie, but how would she know. And oh, I just remembered, my quarrel with Naza was because she bluntly refused me a groupie with her friends on her birthday. I was drunk when I asked though. But was that really insignificant?

    EPISODE 24

    Chinaza came to my lodge looking so unlike her, her fair robust body was tanned in an unsexy way and she seemed to have lost some flesh. I was just watching her as she came into my room, too dumbfounded to even welcome her. She came and stood staring at me, we stared at each other for sometime before she walked up to me on the bed and dropped herself on my laps. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked me. “I just noticed that you look like Roseline.” Roseline was their very slim fitted house girl, not that she wasn’t fine, in fact the slim fit was actually good on her just that I am so much into as*es. “Really? Is that a good thing?” she asked looking at me. “Naza, there is nothing good about it, if I wanted to date a tiny girl I would be with your house girl, not you, in short sit down first. I’m coming.” She sat on the bed and I went outside in search of shape and James. I badged into shapes room and met her in her bras and pants. If she wasn’t a virgin, I would have been thanking God her sister wasn’t around. “Dress up and follow me,” I commanded and she eyed me suspiciously, not minding her outfit and my constant stares at her well rounded as* and b**bss. “Any problem?” “Wear something first or can you follow me like that?” She rolled her eyes at me and flipped on her gown. We went into James room and he was snoring away his life. I beat him up and dragged him along with Shape to my room. Chinaza stared at us curiously as we came in. I made them stand and observe her for sometime, glances were flying from everywhere to me. “Can’t you guys see?” I shouted in frustration. “See what?” Shape asked staring at me. “Oh, Naza came, we can see that,” James replied, scratching his head. “Guy don’t be silly, can’t you see how thin she is looking.” James searched her with his eyes and nodded. “Yes, maybe she wants to be a model.” Shape was entirely indifferent. Chinaza made me sit beside her on the bed. James left while shape joined us on the bed. I was preparing for a wonderful 3some in my mind but got something else. Something I didn’t like one bit. “Chi something happened.” That was shape talking to me like I just lost my wife and she was loaded with the burden of giving me the news, well, Naza was there so obviously, I hadn’t lost my wife. Lol “What happened?” I asked, sharing glances between her and Naza. “It’s chinaza, she fell sick last month, that was before her birthday.” “Why didn’t she say that when we came for the party?” I asked trying to hide the fear that was cropping up in my mind, I was hoping and praying fervently that she didn’t have HIV. “Because it wasn’t serious then, so telling you was unnecessary,” Naza replied in a way that spooked me seriously, you should see the look on her face, real scary. “So now what? Do you have HIV?” I asked and she shot me a glance. “No I don’t,” she retorted and eyed me suspiciously ” Chinecherem, do you have?” “Of course not, where will I get it when you don’t have.” “Well, She went to the hospital, I followed her actually,” shape continued. “Ehee,” I was getting impatient. “And tests were done,” shape said slowly, my suspension reaching it’s zenith. Does she have cancer? If so, I was hoping it wasn’t cancer of the pus*y or breast. “I am pregnant,” Chinaza cried out eventually. If she had said cancer of the pus*y and breast at the same time, I would have preferred it. My mind rushed back to the previous year, yea, when we all fell sick and she came back with the pregnancy joke. My mind clicked, yea, the date was April 5th. I smiled and looked at the two of them. I caught them in time. My racing heart slowed down a bit. “Baby, it’s April 5th today, your joke came late,” I said, grabbing her hand, she flipped my hands away and sniffed. “I am not joking, I am pregnant, f**king pregnant Chinecherem.” Like she was crying and her beautiful light face was red. She obviously wasn’t joking so the April fool thing was a sham. “For who?” Jeez, I didn’t even know when I asked her that, the look she gave me was out of this world. I half prayed for her to say it’s James or Shape, YES! Shape!! anybody but me!!! “Don’t you dare ask me that again,” she almost yelled out. Obviously, it was me. The room went dark and my head was spinning 360 degrees, I could hear Nigerian police siren blasting in my ear, my right ear only, my left ear wasn’t even hearing any sound. I stood up from the bed and made my way to James room. I didn’t even know how I managed to get there because I wasn’t even seeing the road at all. “Guy what’s up?” James asked as I walked in, he was leaning over his plate of over soaked garri. “I don’t know guy, Shape and.. and Chinaza, they are in my room,” I was stuttering as I spoke. “Yes, I know they are in your room, what happened? Are they doing lezzy?” “No, Naza was saying something, errm, she was saying something about something, James I don’t know,” I Stopped and took a deep breath while James watched me like I was doing a Basket Mouth something. “Just go in there and find out what Naza was saying, then come back and tell me because I didn’t even understand what she told me.” “Ok, I will go, but don’t touch my garri,” he warned and left, if only he knew that the garri looked like shit to me at that moment. I crashed on the bed and gazed at the roof. My mother’s favorite advice to my brother and I was banging hard against my head. “Umu m, any man that a woman doesn’t kill will surely live out his God allotted time on earth.” But It’s Chinaza, my only true Love, she can’t kill me. My head was popping like pop corns as I sat there, imagining how I will break the news to my people. My Mom will just shout the living daylight out of me. I don’t know what my father will do. James came back looking more confused than I was. “Guy what was she saying?” I asked him. “That she is pregnant for you and she wasn’t joking o.” “Guy is that even possible? I mean are you sure I am not impotent?” Anything that would null and void the possibility of my being the owner of the pregnancy was welcomed. James just looked at me like I was going mad. “Wetin you mean, guy you are potent in Jesus name.” “Amen but guy, do you think the something is mine?” ” It should be naa, I think you are the only one f**king her.” We both sat on the bed, staring away. “Maybe you should call Williams,” James suggested and I nodded, that was the most coded thing to do. “I have to get my phone, it’s in my room.” I opened the curtains to my room and peeped in, I was obviously expecting Naza to grin at me and say it was all a prank but she didn’t, she was sitting on the bed with Shape, staring at the TV, she had stopped crying. “What do you want to do now?” I asked her as I got to her on the bed. She looked at me and shook her head. “I don’t know.” I stared at her for a few seconds, she returned my stares and her countenance changed. “No way, I am not aborting him.” I was yet to find out how she keeps reading my mind through my eyes. “I wasn’t saying that.” “But you were thinking it, please I won’t abort him.” “Him? You already know it’s a boy?” Something was telling me that she was enjoying the whole pregnant something. Shape was having the laugh of her life at the side. She just let out a weak smile and threw herself into my hands while I called Williams. “Hello, young man, how are you?” Willy bas*ed into my ears. “Guy I no dy, you fit enter my lodge?” “Ermm, wetin happen, you give woman belle?” That was funny. “Yes, I give woman belle, abeg come tomorrow.” He laughed, he probably thought I was joking. “See you and your impotent prick, I dy come tomorrow.” We dropped the phone and I wished I was impotent. Lol. My brother looked even more confused than James was the day I was mumbling about what Naza told me. The look on Willy’s face was to die for, as in, it can kill you. If not for the cute face and the neat beards, you would have called him an imbecile. “What are you even saying? That Chinaza is sick and went to the hospital, so? She is here naa and she is not dead.” “Bro I am trying to say that she is pregnant,” I said and expected him to place both his hands on his head. He merely smiled. “Congratulations dear,” he was referring to Chinaza. “I hope the guy responsible is going to marry you before the sign turns up.” Chinaza merely shook her head, she knew Willy was a clown most of the time. “Bro, the baby is mine,” I said it slowly, avoiding eye contact. The whole room went silent. For about 5 seconds nobody spoke. I thought my brother was burning me up with his eyes only to look up and see him staring sheepishly at shape who was at the door. I just weak for my family. I slapped his knee and he turned to me sharply. “What were you saying?” “I was saying that Chinaza is pregnant for me and that girl at the door is a virgin.” His eyes bulged, I didn’t know what made them bulge, whether it was the pregnancy or the Virgin ish. Unwanted pregnancy to Willie was bad news and hooking up with a Virgin was worst. He refers to it as a worthless relationship. Chinaza stood up and left with Shape. Willie was just engaged in an eye contest with me. “Jeez, Chex, I have been in this game for 100 years before they gave birth to you and yet no f**k ups, how could you have been so careless?” “I don’t know o bro. It just happened, I don’t even know what to do.” He was giving me that look that unlocks the tear gland in a man, the look that usually says, “Bro you f**k up and you are finished at the same time”. “What do we do now?” I I asked and he pulled closer to me on the bed. “Did you tell her of abortion?” I looked at him and shook my head. “She didn’t even wait for the suggestion, she just change am for me when she suspected that I will bring it up.” “Guy serious f**k up.” “Yea, Dad will just throw me over the balcony,” I murmured, shedding internal tears. “No he won’t,” he replied. “You sure?” “Yea, he said he no longer needs stress with his children.” “Thank God,” I said and heaved a sigh of relief. “Yes, he is only going to shoot you, he just bought a pump action.” Willie was wicked in a sort, he just dropped it casually like shooting someone was the same thing as flogging him “See what we are going to do now,” he started and I paid rapt attention, hoping he wasn’t going to misyarn. “Yes?” “We will go to Dad’s office.” “What for?” “Listen now, abi do you prefer going home first where both him and mom will jointly roast you like roadside maize?” I shook my head, I had better go with his plan, he was the next man after my father and I believed he controlled some authority. “We will settle with dad, then we get home, he can help us fix mum.” “Yea, you made sense.” I always knew Willie was a great as*et. “We will talk to Rita too, she will help us.” “Rita will Finish me naa,” I protested. “Yes but she will also help, just relax, you only got her pregnant, you didn’t kill her.” I fell back on the bed and hissed. I knew pus*y was going to kill me one day but I never expected it to be Chinaza’s own. “So when are we going to see Dad?” I asked getting up from the bed. “After I get this girl that just left with Naza.” He was devouring the only star in my fridge. “She is a virgin bro.” He smiled at me and nodded. “I have readjusted my standards, I am the new Isreal.” “Israel kwa?” He nodded again and smiled. “I will tear down that wall of Jericho.” I sighed and fell back on the bed. The next picture on my mind was me and shape on the bed after Willie must have opened her. Jeez, I swear I will be the worst father on earth. He stood up from the chair and walked outside, probably after shape. He hadn’t been gone for more than 30 seconds before Chinaza bursted into my room, holding his hand, against his wish. “Are you guys done?” she asked me as I stared at them. I nodded and she made Willie take a sit. “Now, lets discuss about my own issue.” “What issue?” Willie asked. “My family, how will I tell them about it?” “It’s very easy, you just walk up to them and yarn them what’s up.” That was Williams. “Maybe you should help me, I will appreciate,” Chinaza replied him, rolling her eyes. “Have you told Chinelo?” I asked and she nodded. “I told her when the result came out.” “What did she say?” “That I am finished,” she answered casually. I had almost forgotten about her parents. “Fine, I will be there, maybe tomorrow, we will move from dad’s office to your dad’s.” I said and she put down her head, sobbing without tears. “What now?” I asked. “God I am finished. My Mom thinks I am still a virgin.” I don’t know why I didn’t laugh at that, it was damn funny. Williams took us out in the evening, Me, Chinaza, James and Shape. Somehow, my brother meandered his way into shapes cubicle, shape was all over him in the end. That boy is a magician. It was at the peak of the moment that I learnt Shape’s real name was Chinaza. I am as amazed as you are. For a moment, everything seemed normal, Chinaza’s pregnancy was thrown to the background while we had the fun of our lives. Willie had come with mom’s car and so it was a little high key. I spent the rest of the night prophesying my undying love for Chinaza. I was drunk and high but she wouldn’t bulge, she needed no second pregnancy and when the chips were down. It turned out that Shape was never a virgin, maybe her as*hole is still sealed but her pus*y was as open as the temple. I was only pained at what I had missed for almost a year.

    EPISODE 25

    Blood is thicker than water, even Akamu. I appreciated that saying at my dad’s office. So I and Willie popped into his place of work around 12 pm the next day after Willie have treated me to Nico and Vinc’s “That’s how you know you f**ked up” in mom’s car. We were blocked by his secretary. She wanted to call him before we can go in. Imagine, our own father. We relaxed shaa, we didn’t want to start the day with more f**k ups, knowing the sensitivity of our mission. “He said you should wait a while before coming in.” She still had the phone to her ear when she pas*ed us the message. “What do you mean?” Willie protested. “But he is our father!” I added. “And so what? My friend wait there!” That was my father shouting over the phone. We heard him Loud and clear. So we just mellowed and waited. We took a seat facing the secretary. “So you mean shape wasn’t a virgin?” Willie nodded and winked at me. “Jesus, so I had something like that under my nose and you just came and took it away?” “You are still learning naa, how can you expect a girl like that to be a virgin.” I nodded and shook my head at the same time. “Willie you are an Idiot.” He eyed me and laughed. The secretary eyed us and I was forced to look at her. My right eye observed her face on which she placed reading glas*es like she actually knows anything. It reminded me of when I loved to watch women on glas*es porn, they are always good looking. Meanwhile, my left eyes was placed on my favorite part of the female body, not the b**bss, the the other side. She wore panties but the dark shade didn’t let me know the exact color and her laps were thick. That allowed me estimate the size of her booty and I was wowed by my findings. “I swear he is f**king this one, that’s why she wore short skirt and pant instead of tights, to allow her pull off fast fast,” Willie whispered into my ears. “Who is f**king her?” I whispered back. “Popsy naa.” I eyed him. “Guy are you sure?” “Dey there, you don’t know your father.” Our gossips were still on when the door opened and her royal thickness walked out of his office. She was grabbing some files which she pinned to her inflated b**bss. She was beautiful too. I just watched her catwalk to where we sat and I bet Willie too was watching. She beamed us a smile and we smiled back, I bet I showed my 32. “Williams and his brother, how are you guys?” “Fine fine,” Willie answered for us two. We exchanged pleasantries and she left. Then the secretary ushered us into the office. “Is he f**king this one too?” I asked. “I like her.” “Don’t you know Aunty Grace?” I shook my head. “After momsy, na her.” “So popsy bad like that.” Shaa we walked into the office and met our father. He observed us through the rims of his spectacles as we walked in. We pulled Seats and relaxed. “Daddy good morning,” we greeted. “Eh, goodnight.” “Sorry, good afternoon,” we corrected immediately. He sized me up and asked about school. I said fine, he nodded and switched to Willie. “You, when are you guys resuming?” “Ar ar, daddy we just closed naa.” “Are you sure they have not pursue you from school because David’s daughter is not yet back.” “Which David’s daughter?” Willie asked. “That Yellow one, Mary Cynthia.” “So Mary is in my school?” “Yes of course, don’t you see her?” “Dad how can I see her in a school as big as that?” “Ok shaa, it’s almost 1, come and buy something for.” He was pulling out his wallet when Willie coughed. “O gini?” he asked. “Dad we didn’t come buy something for you, we came because something happened.” He looked at the two of us one after the other. “What happened, have they suspended you from school?” He was asking me. I shook my head. “Are you in a cult?” I shook my head again. “Did you impregnate a girl?” Nothing from me, before he could ask any question again, Willie came to my rescue. God bless that boy for me. “Dad, see what happened, shey you know Chinaza?” “Who is Chinaza?” “Erm, Uncle Laz’s daughter, that fair one.” He nodded slowly. “His girlfriend?” he said pointing at me. How did he even know she was my girlfriend. Daddy daddy. We both nodded. “Ehe, did you impregnate her?” he was asking Willie. Lol. “Noo, see what happened.” He started spicing the story the same way I have told it to him the first time. From Chinaza falling sick to her going for test and all. “Oho, I said it!” My father said as Willie finished. We both stared at him as he tapped on his table. Shooting his eyes at the two of us. I didn’t know if it was sweat or urine but my but*ocks was all wet. “So you went to school, instead of reading your books and coming out of there, instead, you got a girl pregnant. Did I tell you that I needed a baby from you?” I shook my head, staring at the floor. “My friend, look at me when I am talking to you.” I obeyed and he continued. Willie threw his head to the ground, it’s not that he was scared, he was only trying not to laugh and me too, I was trying my best to appear remorseful. My father has this way of yelling at you that instead of you feeling bad, you will end up laughing. “I told you to go to school and get me good grades, you say it is a baby that you want, if I wanted a baby from you, I would have married a girl for you, and I even though you were better than this baby bush.” He was referring to Williams. Now the laughter was threatening to break out. “All he knows how to do is grow beards and do make up…..” The tongue lashing shifted to Willie and if my sisters were there too, they would have gotten their own portion. “Where is she?” he asked after he was done and had taken some breaths. “Back at his lodge,” Willie answered. “Wait,” he removed his eye glas* and dropped it on the table. “This baby, is it a joint something, are the two of you responsible for it?” “Noooo!” Willie shouted. “Then why are you answering for him?” “She is in my room at school,” I shot in. “You even live together at school?” “No, she came from her school.” “I think you will have to start going to school from the house,” he said. “That’s far!” Willie exclamation. “What is far, this one, he will be using public transport, back then, I trekked 20 kilometers to primary school everyday.” Even the look on his face showed that he too was shocked by what he just said. 20km gini. “Daddy daddy, 20 km kwa?” Willie said, winking at him. “You don’t believe me? You can ask your mom, we walked to school everyday.” “So you were already mingling with mom as early as primary school.” I was already Fearing for Willie’s safety when he asked this question but my father played it cool. “My friend that is none of your business, but then, we trekked big time, you people of nowadays are just lucky.” That was how Chinaza’s pregnancy was concluded and my father’s primary school history took over. I didn’t make much noise shaa, before he will come and notice me again. “Ehe, come and buy me lunch at that restaurant across the street.” He pulled out 1k from his wallet and handed it over to Willie. We both stood up. “Buy yours too, shey you will eat?” He didn’t need to ask. “And call me that lady outside,” he said, putting back his glas*es. “There are two girls,” Willie informed. “Call the one with the biggest breast.” Jeez, Why won’t I impregnate a girl when I have a father like that. It runs in the family. Meanwhile house was agog with the news of my coming baby. I felt older all of a sudden. My sisters will hail me “papa junior” at the slightest chance, Willie automatically changed my name to C. Ronaldo while my mother never stopped asking when the baby would come, underage or overage, she couldn’t wait to carry her child’s child. Sometimes I wonder the type of family I was born into. Anyways, it made things easier for me. Naza’s parents weren’t so easy or so hard to talk to. We were family friends and that made things milder. Her father and mine settled it over 2 bottles of Heineken and old time jokes about their girlfriends when they were my age. As for me, I just wished Naza would remain pregnant for the rest of her life. Her belly wasn’t showing the signs of it but her skin developed this kind of glow that made me want to take her to bed each time. Our school had gone for Easter break so we were all at home. Naza spent more time in our house than she did in theirs. She did that because of Amara, lol. She didn’t want us overplaying our brotherly love, if you know what I mean. Meanwhile, I was getting too uncomfortable staying around my hood. I mean like all of a sudden, the whole place started booming with fresh chics. Nobody knew where or how they managed to find their way into our area. The worst is while I am contemplating on hitting on one today, the next day, another will show up and I will just focus on her again. Confusion everywhere. And just when I thought that Chinaza was pregnant already, so we can f**k anyhow without fear of pregnancy or period. She decided she was always too tired or not in the mood and worst still she won’t leave me so I can find go and find a remedy to my problem. “So Naza, why are you always tired?” I was asking her the day the something was trying to destroy me, after series of turning and upturning on my bed which didn’t solve my problem. She just rubbed my head and smiled, a beautiful smile that annoyed me in this time of my need. “Neche I want to drink tea,” she replied, rubbing my back like she was begging. The both of us knew it was an order more like “Neche go and make me tea.” The tea showed up in no time, anything that will make her drop the honey pot for me. “The tea is still hot,” she said and dropped the cup on the table. “So what were you saying?” she asked me. “I was trying to say that I need you.” “Yes, am I not here?” “No, that is not the type of need I am talking about.” “Which type kwa?” She definitely knew what I meant, I was sure but Naza was just being herself. How do I even explain myself to her without looking stupid? “I mean, that thing we did that made you pregnant, I want to do it again.” I believe that was better. She shaa laughed and nearly poured the cup of tea away. I wasn’t finding it funny, not when it’s one week gone and I haven’t even kissed anyone talk more of doing the other one. “So right now, that is all you want?” she asked and I nodded. “Well, I am pregnant, wait till I deliver!” That was it. I was plain angry. “What does that mean?” I asked, raising my voice small small. “Don’t shout, Your mom will hear your voice now and will start asking what is wrong, what will you then tell her?” “Let her hear, why are you mean like this… Bla bla bla bla… ” I was really frustrated and I didn’t hide it. She just sat there, staring at me as I vented my frustration on her. After much ranting, she just sighed and fanned her tea with her hand. Nobody told me to calm down. ” See Naza, you know you are my only girl and I love you.” “So?” “Just this once, eh nne?” “Neche no.” Her reply was cold and final. “I think I will just go out there and find myself a new girl,” I complained, expecting her to change her demeanor or get jealous. She just blew air into the cup of tea. “Please do if that will make you leave me alone,” she said. “Really?” I asked. “Yes, but before you go, just make Pap for me, I don’t want tea again.” Is that how pregnant people use to do? 9/15/18, 09:27 - ‪+233 57 189 2750: Waiting for this message 9/15/18, 09:46 - ‪+234 813 540 8271: #AFFIRMATIONTRAIN 15TH SEPTEMBER. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus, born with the glorious life and nature of God in my spirit. I’ve been called into a life of glory, honour, dignity, and excellence; therefore, I function from a position of victory and rest, unperturbed by the negative circumstances of life because all things are mine. I am highly favoured of God, and well positioned by His grace for a life of peace and total prosperity! I am blessed of God, and with favour has He surrounded me like a shield! I am anointed for good works and ordained unto a life of fruitfulness and productivity. I keep my roots submerged in the waters of the Word, flourishing in the courts of the Lord, bringing Him honour, and bearing abundant fruit unto Him in righteousness. I function at a high level of precision, excellence, and perfection because the wisdom of God is at work in me; having been endowed with all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge in Christ, Hallelujah. I bring forth good things today from within me because I have an excellent mind; I have insight into mysteries and secrets and bring forth creative ideas because Christ has been made unto me wisdom. I initiate success, victory and, prosperity from within. Blessed be God. Hallelujah!

    EPISODE 26

    Girlfriends = 23
    Side Chics = 27
    Bang mates = 12
    Crushes = 1 million
    Secret Fantasies = 500 million
    Milf fantasies = 100
    Sugar mommy = 0
    I just sketched a rough estimate of my Romance life since when I became aware that men were supposed to run after women. I can’t even remember the age I grew that awareness but I can remember playing that infamous game of hide and seek with my clas*mate back in my nursery 2. Then our teacher would force us to place our heads on the desk and go to sleep. She would give me a blowjob under the desk and then proceed to hide an empty cabin biscuit pack in her pant and ask me to find it with my hand. Y’all know how that would end up right. That doesn’t matter though, I doubt if I even knew what I was doing. So my details up there is to let you know that I am not as bad as most of us here lol. See, its just roughly 23 girlfriends up there since I was born, I know some of us here have more than 23 girlfriends as they are reading this thing now. See I’m actually a little bit of a good boy. So recently, I decided to meditate on my life a bit. I ended making it all about Chinaza and the pregnancy. I started wondering if there is any other girl in my life I would have preferred to be the one in Chinaza’s place.  I remember Maryann, she was so beautiful that I missed receiving holy communion once in the church because I was staring at her. She was 100 yards of everything I wanted and I got her for a period of time. Only problem was that I was 12 and she was 11. We only wrote love letters which we perfumed and rubbed sweet smelling powder on. Apart from that, no other sort of RUBBING took place. I am still looking for her shaa, I hope I find her one day. Uju, Ujunwa. She was Ebony, a beautiful sort of Ebony. Met her when I just started with Chinaza. Small tits but her as* covered up for what she lacked in B**bss. She gave me the styles that busted my brain, even Cynthia couldn’t do that. We hit it off for a while before she got married after her NYSC. I would have loved her to have a baby for me, only problem was that she was 25 and I was 17 and she was Chinaza’s aunt. Jeez. Azuka, she was beautiful and petite with a round as* and perky b**bss. Those types of b**bss that will flow down and then curve up with the nipple like a banana. She was bad and naughty in a way that I liked and can display her love for you even in the street. I was even shy at times. Can you Imagine. There was no problem with this one. Just that I was sharing her with my guy. While he was writing her text messages, I was reading them to her in her father’s bedroom, on the bed each time. We shaa went our way and I didn’t miss her much. Then Jennifer, not the other Jennifer o, a different Jennifer. A combination of my sperm and her eggs would have produced nothing less than a Chris Brown. She had this way of kissing that could cover up for the sex that we never had. We still talk shaa but she is kinda far away from where I am and wouldn’t want to take this stress of meeting her when I could easily find a good replica of her and her pus*y. Only problem we had was that she only loved me fingering her. If we were still together right now, I know my biceps would have been as huge as. Fingering a girl like that beats hitting the Gym. Who else, who else, who else? So many of them but I can’t remember much again. Now Chinaza seem to be okay to me but I don’t just understand her ways these days. I think it’s the pregnancy thing. Someone cannot even drink garri and drop spoon for her. She is always wanting one thing or the other and she won’t even want to have sex, that’s the most annoying one. That was how I was waiting for Amara to come home from the Market so I can beg her for a little kiss. Even if its 2 seconds. Chinaza called me that she wants fried rice. Me that can’t cook jollof rice without over watering it or over salting it. And she said she won’t eat take away, that I must cook it myself. The next thing she was threatening to come over to our house if I don’t cook it. I don’t even know if fried rice is actually fried in the real sense or if it’s cooked. Shaa I agreed to cook. My plan went this way, Amara would come back and when we are done with each other, she would whip up some rice and I will take it over to her. I was still in my room, whatsapping away on my phone when my door opened. I looked at the door, hoping to see Amara. Chinaza just stood there, scolding me with her eyes. “So this is where you are cooking the fried rice?” “See Chianza, I don’t even know how to cook rice, can’t you just look for something else to eat, maybe garri and soup?” “No I want fried rice.” She came and sat on the bed, I noticed her tommy was starting to protrude and she walked like a woman in a maternity hospital. “Just cook me fried rice and we will…. ” She stopped half way and gave me a suggestive wink. ” We will what?” My heart was thumbing like I was checking my semester results. “Baby, you know nah,” she said and winked again. Hehehe, see me see youtube, searching for how to cook fried rice. Luckily, my moms no dy joke with food so all the condiments were there. We didn’t have chicken but Fish was in the fridge. The rice was ready in no time and served in my room. No dulling. We drank the rice rather than eat it. The water in it no be here. She wanted fried rice. She got it. “See eh, Neche, I don’t want fried rice again. Just cook indomie.” “You are not serious, you will finish it o.” I was getting angry. “I thought you wanted to do that thing that made me pregnant again?” she said eyeing me with a smile on her face. “What do you want?” I asked. “Indomie.” I shaa spent the whole day cooking indomie from there to making tea and back to Pap. In the end, just when she said she wasn’t hungry again, after I had brought her Pap, my mother came back. I spent the rest of the day Washing plates and pots and cleaning the kitchen. The rice went down the wastebasket and the pap with the tea went down Willie’s stomach. Like I always say. If Chinaza’s doesn’t kill me, I won’t die. So I noticed that a girl can grow from an Emmanuella to Regina Daniels within a space of 5 years if not shorter and while you are waiting for her to mature, some guys will be chopping her like that. Just like that popular saying, Girls are are like Mango, while you are waiting for them to ripen, some will be eating them with salt. Like this particular girl in my area. She was like a bamboo like 5 years ago when I first knew her. Fast forward to now, her as*ets seemed to be way out of this world and like I always say, if she is 15 and her body looks 20 then f**king treat her like she is 20. And I did my age compatibility calculation. My age divided by 2 plus 7. I.e 21 ÷ 2 = 10.5 + 7 = 17.5. Well she should be around 16 so it was close. We could actually start something. So on a very good day, just after I have gotten my daily dose of TOMENTATION from my pregnant girlfriend, I decided to catch some fresh air, maybe it will help my frustration evaporate. I was just outside our gate when she walked by, dragging her 2 tons of backside along and seemed to be running after her firm b**bss. Immediately I saw her, I knew I needed to talk to her. “Hey you come here!” I called, I was her senior naa so I needed to add some sort of command to my tone. She came and dropped a good evening on me. I nodded with my attention fixed on the upper part of her body, just below her neck. Think whatever you like. Lol. “What’s that your name again?” I asked. “Chidimma,” she replied. She was Ebony and like girls her age had low cut hair. Open teeth. Cute face and beautiful eyes. She could have competed very well with Naza if she was fair. “Are you in a hurry?” “Yes, my mom is waiting for me.” I looked around our environment and did a few seconds thinking. “Let me walk you down, I want to discuss some things with you.” She didn’t complain and since her house was just a few meters away, we strolled. I had this aura that would make any girl her age like me easily. At least, she will be bragging that a boy like me talked to her. I got a little more details about her. In her ss2 and the same clas* with my our Amara. I’m sure Amara wouldn’t mind. “So you don’t have a phone yet?” she nodded and I shook my head. “Quite a pity. How do we now communicate?” It was a rhetorical question and she knew that. “Well, can you always come to my house?” She nodded. She didn’t even ask why I want her to be coming to my house. Girls these days, even the small ones can decode things that are bigger than them. “See what will happen, can you come out to that field by 6pm today?” I asked, pointing to a nearby field that belonged to a primary school around the corner. “I’m not sure, but I will try.” Well we got closer to their gate. Our 6pm date fixed. One last look at her b**bss and booty and I was done for the minute. Just when I turned on my way home. My father’s car screeched to a halt beside me. My heart jumped to my mouth as I stood there. The pas*enger side window went down and I saw Willie’s teeth shinning at me. I hopped in with relief. “Where you go naa?” I asked as we moved on. “I just go give one girl like that heart attack. She just dy form for me because I no dy use ride enter school.” “So how e go?” “As she just see me inside this ride, she commot bra for me.” He was shinning his teeth as he spoke. “Shaa, I hope you won’t be banging girls inside popsy car. He will smell ur sperm o or you fit forget condom or pant inside.” 6pm and I was patrolling the field like a pregnant woman in a maternity ward. 6:15pm and I was already vexing, blaming Chinaza. If she had dropped something for me. I wouldn’t be here running after a 16 year old girl. I was going to walk home angrily when I spotted her walking towards me. Her short skirt blowing in the wind, revealing her tempting laps. All my anger evaporated. “Sorry, I was helping my mother with the food,” she said as she got to me. “Ok, so let’s sit.” I held her hand and we walked to nearby seat, made of concrete attached to a clas*room block. We sat there and I began my preaching. “.. long and short of it all is that the moment I saw you walking past me, I knew I liked you immediately and would love us to get closer. I don’t know if anyone has ever told you but you are very beautiful.” I confessed, eyeing her b**bss like the discussion was between me and it. She smiled a thank you and flashed her dimples. “So can we be friends?” I asked. “Yes, We are friends already.” “Well that’s not the type that I want.” “What type do you want?” “The type that with everything inclusive. Your heart your body, everything.” My emphasis was more on her body. She smiled and murmured an “I don’t know.” I only needed to prod further and before we knew was*up, she was already tripping. One thing to another and we were already closer. The next thing and we were on each other. It started with a kiss before my hand started its investigative journalism. I just couldn’t wait. The lord blessed us with darkness. The sky was getting darker as the time ticked on. I was tunning on and off her firm b**bss and searching underneath her short skirt while she was grabbing at my Manhood. I held her against our concrete seat and made her legs go 45 degrees apart, her pants were already in her purse by then and my manhood was already condomed off. I needed no second baby. I found out it was a bit easy to penetrate her and she grabbed my shirt the moment it hit her. Kissing me violently like I was resuscitating her. I started my thrust and it dawned on me what I had missed for so long just because that crazy Chinaza was pregnant. I went hard and she received me excellently. She was a good baller. We were done before her mother would call her home. My phone rang and I picked. Chinaza was on the line. “Neche I want orange.” “leave me, go and pluck by yourself.” I cut the phone and faced my latest babe. “So are we seeing again?” I asked as she brushed the sand off her skirt. She nodded. Why wouldn’t she. Sha sha. I led her home, didn’t exactly get to their gate. Then I went home. The time by then was roughly 7:45 pm. Naza was already dropping her 10th missed call. I called her back. “Neche please come, I am bleeding,” she cried. I don’t remember exactly how I did it but I think I jumped our gate because I didn’t remember opening it. I guess I was falling in love with my unborn baby.

    EPISODE 27

    I busted into their house. That was actually my first time of visiting their home after I had Chinaza where she is now. I threw my greetings around like I was doing broadcast planting. “Where is Naza?” I asked, surprised that everyone was so calm. They all pointed up to her room. “In her room?” I asked and they all shouted me upstairs. I was disturbing their movie. I busted into her room and met her wiping blood from her hand. I rushed her and held her hand. “What happened?” She slowly opened her hand to reveal a small knife cut in her palm. “I cut my hand while peeling oranges.” She was giving me a look that was expecting sympathy. I wished I knew how to hiss. “This is why you called me out this night. Small injury like this?” “No, come and finish peeling these oranges, I swear I will leak them.” She was begging and she was beautiful. I kept wondering why a girl like her would stick around with a guy like me. Love took over and I was peeling oranges in no time. Then Davido’s “If” came up and I joined in. We were actually doing a duet. “If I tell you say I love you o!!” I sang and she responded. “My money, my bother na your own o baby!!” she sang in her sweet voice. I eyed her and nearly cut myself open. “Naza respect yourself, which your body na my own?” “What do you mean, is it not yours again?” she asked. “The body that you have refused to allow me touch since this baby came up.” Then my favorite part came up. “No do no do, no do gra gra for me o.” Fast forward to the “I go shook you shooku shooku part”, I sang it with all my heart and she switched off the music. “See neche,” she said and held my arm. “every time is not for shooku shooku. At least relax and appreciate what you have. If you keep wanting to shook me, then I will have to start suspecting that you don’t actually love me, that you are only after my body.” I dropped the orange and held her. “That is not true naa, I love other part of you as well and you know it.” “Then stop wanting to shook all the time. At least, you should be grateful that my family didn’t throw me out because of this pregnancy and we should take things easy small. See me here, I am not going anywhere, I love you and will always be around even though you keep messing up. I won’t go. I have taken enough shit from you to walk away.” I was touched and for the first time in my life, I felt real guilty for cheating on her. I brought her closer and placed my lips on her forehead while I rubbed her belly, feeling the little bulge in there. “Do you think it’s a girl?” She smiled and looked at me. “I want it to be a boy, I want to know what you looked like when you were born.” I kissed her mouth and she held my lips with her teeth. I was able to Ignore her as* and b**bss all those while. A miracle. “Thank you for sticking with an arsehole like me, even though I have nothing to offer except my dick.” She laughed and punched me playfully. “You are not going home this night, You will stay here,” she was commanding, my opinion didn’t matter. “And your people?” I asked. “They are tired of fighting with me, they won’t bother us.” I made my call to Willie and told him I was sleeping over at Naza’s. He was only too glad. He was going to eat my own share of the spaghetti my sister cooked.  I carried my baby and my baby in her to bed and dropped her gently. I locked the door and joined her. She placed her head on my chest. For the first time, I appreciated what it felt like to sleep beside a girl I really loved and nothing happened. No shooking or any other thing. I promise a lot of you would really enjoy this if you gave it a try but eventually not me. I love shooku shooku pas* Davido. I handed my list over to my father. He was of the opinion that it was the excess money that he was giving me that made me keep my girlfriend in my lodge and be getting her pregnant anyhow. So he decided I was going to break every expenses down on paper, that way I won’t have change to feed any girl. “Excess money”, Imagine. “What do you need 6 packs of toilet rolls for? Do you run a public toilet?” he asked me, observing me over the rims of his eyeglas*es. “And see this one, 2 towels? What for?” “Dad, it’s for the remaining 3 years I have in school.” “So you want to use 2 towels over a period of 3 years, so that you will come and be spreading disease everywhere?” Hian, daddy sef. “One carton of Indomie,” he read out. “Where do you even get the strength to be impregnating girls when all you eat is indomie?” Willie who was busy with his laptop and had headphones over his head giggled, That MOTHERF**KER! “Papa Willie!” my mom yelled and eyed him. He hissed and continued. “And look at this one, he can’t even spell knickers,” he said and shot me his eyes again. “Which one?” I asked, going closer to take a peep at the list. “Ar ar, Daddy is sneakers nah not knickers.” “What is sneakers?” “A types of shoe.” He shook his head and continued, if only he would just give me the money and f**k the list. It reminded me of my elder sister’s days in the dormitory. She would bring him her list and he will be like. “Why 5 sanirary pads? Are you marketing them in school?” and when she decides to save herself the interview and remove sanitary pads from the list, he would be like. “Why no pads? Come Oluchukwu Rita, are you pregnant?” And my mom will always be there to intervene but my popsy no send anybody. “And you should include condoms in this list because I am now afraid of you, Chinecherem, your fear is catching me.” And after everything, he broke the whole expenses into 2. My father never liked maths and he hardly stressed us each time we flunked in any maths exam. My mom will be scolding and he would just be like. “Leave this Children, how many times have you applied X and Y in that your small office? If he knows how many 500 nairas can give him 1 million, he is ok, that is the basic thing.” My mother will only shake her head. So when it came to money, Chike Obi has nothing on my Popsy. He divided my 21,525 naira into 2 and divided one part into 2 again. He added a half of the whole money to one part of the the other divided half and gave me 16,145. He probably knew I wasn’t going to buy one quarter of those things on that list. So I was still rich anyway. “Ehe willie, when are you going back or have they expelled you?” he asked my brother. “Daddy nooo, I’m going back next week.” “It’s your last semester in that school, so you won’t buy anything naa.” “No sir, I’m not buying anything, it’s just that I need small money to fix some things.” “I know, you are always needing money, how much?” “Just 50k,” he said with a wide grin. “Are you mad? Did you put JUST before that 50k?” My father actually removed his lenses to ask him if he was mad. It was my turn to giggle at him. “Daddy no, I mean It’s only 50k that I need. Nothing else.” “What are you even doing with that type of money? Are you sorting your VC?” “Daddy noo, We are, I mean my department people, we are hosting a graduation part and I need a pair of tuxedos to shine dad. You know it’s once in a life time.” he was grinning ear to ear again. “Party kwa? Are you graduating from Quilox that you will each contribute 50k for it?” “What is Quilox?” My mother asked. “A Church in Onitsha,” My father replied so casually, I would have believed him if I didn’t know what Quilox is. My mother only nodded and continued pressing her phone. “Daddy, the money is for tuxedo, party and other things.” “I don’t even understand the language you are speaking, maybe when the sun reduces, I will understand,” my father said and ran into his room before Willie will remember any other dues. I cat walked into Naza’s room and met her kneeling on her bed, saying the divine mercy prayer. A miracle. I was going to slowly sneak out of the room before she caught me. She didn’t talk. She just pointed at the floor beside her. I can’t argue, I just jejely joined her. Luckily enough, she was rounding up. Her mother peeped into the room and saw us. I was able to notice the smile on her face. Yepaa, I have scored a positive point on her score card. “So by what time are we leaving?” she asked after the prayer. “Ermm, 3pm.” “I hope your lodge mates would be back by then, that your logde that looks like graveyard.” “See, I want to buy some things,” I said, standing up. “Come first before you go.” She held my hand and I was expecting her to order for fried rice or any other impossible food. She eyed me with a wicked smile on her face “Don’t worry, I just want you to rub your baby’s head.” I smiled and stroke her belly. The bulge was still small. I kissed her forehead and turned to go. “Peel those oranges for me before you go.” ***** My father dropped us at the park and made sure we both took different buses back to school. One going to Anambra State University and the other going to unizik. He needed no further stories. He even bought our tickets with his money. My brother was just spicing my anger with laughter. I swear he would have followed my bus to my school if he didn’t have an appointment. As I dragged my bag into my my lodge, James wasn’t back yet but shape and her sister was. Even Chinaza was already chatting away with Shape in my room. That girl is a magician.

    EPISODE 28

    So she has her head on my shoulder, her eyes shut as I was scribbling this down. The idea for a post decided to bump into my head at this point in time and I was thinking. What if someday, my babe wakes up and finds out that I am running an account here and she goes through my profile to see the stories I have written about her and goes on to find out that most of it were actually true. I doubt if Chinaza is capable of killing or poisoning me but I also know that she is capable of asking someone else to do it for her. Lol. So we beat our father, like Chinaza just stopped on the way and redirected her bearing to my lodge, getting there before me sef. Nice thing that we were surrounded by students who aren’t better than any of us. I got in and we hugged like we were just meeting again after 3 years. Shape came and dropped her sexy as* on me, I gave her the side hug, I was trying to pas* the message to her that I was so f**king pissed at her. “I missed you love,” she said, sounding all sweet. I replied her like I was diabetic, I didn’t need her sugar. “Really?” She nodded and tugged at my shirt while Naza took in my bags. I am unofficially married like this. I watched shape for something, trying to figure out if I should prolong my anger or just let it fly. She had this body that will make you forget your sorrows talk less of anger. But denying me a very good pus*y was a big crime to me, a felony maybe. “Are you not happy to see me?” she asked. “I am happy but I am angry with you and you know why.” She frowned and looked at my face, clutching my hand in a romantic way. “Boo what did I do?” “Call him Chinecherem, that is his name. Only me can call him boo,” Chinaza shouted from inside and we laughed. “Ok, Chinecherem, what did I do?” she asked again. Chinaza was already back with us, waiting for me to share her offense. She was giving me the inquisitive look already, very nosy of her. “What did she do?” Chinaza asked. How could I tell her that shape’s offense was lying to me that she was a virgin. How is that my business?. “It’s between us Naza,” I replied her. “She is my friend and you are my something something. So am involved too.” Chinaza will just wake up and start looking for trouble. Imagine. “Don’t worry, it’s April fool, I am not angry at her,” I said and ran into my room. “It’s April 19,” Chinaza called after me. “April is April, whether April 1 or April 33,” I replied. Chinaza managed to take her bath without inviting me in, it was even better rather than watch things that I can’t access, I rather not watch at all. So me and shape was on my bed discussing her crime. She smiled after I told her it was all about the virginity. “But I told you I got a boyfriend during the Xmas period,” she said. “The one with Venza?” I asked and she nodded. “So he VENZAD your pus*y?” I asked and she hit me playfully. “You are silly.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. “You didn’t ask naa or I should have used Microphone to announce that I am not a virgin anymore.” “Well, you knew I was standing in line, waiting and you just stood me up.” “Sorry boo, you didn’t ask again.” “Must I ask before you give me what I want, eh shape?” “Do you still want it?” Imagine, she was asking me. I gave it a little thought tho. I remembered to my dismay that once Willie drops a grip on a hottie like shape, he hardly likes to let go and I can share my food, my clothes, my surname with Willie but definitely not a girl. After all, even among thieves, there is honor. I shook my head and replied. “No, you can’t be with Willie and be banging me at the same time.” “I knew you are smart,” she said and rubbed my ear. I was going to rub her chest in return when Chinaza walked out of the bathroom, looking all wet and sexy. Chinaza being Chinaza, she chased us out of the room because she wanted to dress up. I wonder what she was hiding, is it the things that shape already has that she is hiding away from her or the ones I have already seen that she is hiding away from me. We shaa walked outside and continued our chats in whispers. “So when you see a girl, the first thing that comes into your mind is to fuvk her?” Shape was asking me. “No, the first thing that comes into my mind is that I like her, then I like her body, then I realize I want to f**k her. So you see, it’s the third thing that comes into my mind.” I love my girls, you could discuss almost anything with them and they won’t start forming Holy. Shape burst out laughing. Just when she was about finishing her laughter, a car screeched to a stop at our gate. I took a peep and it my father’s car. I can’t remember if I actually urinated on my knicker or not because I can’t find the knicker right now. As I was trying to figure out how to hide Chinaza in my Ghana must go bag, Willie popped into our gate, smiling sheepishly. Once there was this bad guy in my clique that year. He was bad, very bad but nobody knew. His badness was an internal type of badness. Outwardly, he was the type of guy that a mother would recommend to her daughter for friendship, seeing that he is harmless and may not even have a dick but inwardly, he was the type of guy that will impregnate their daughter while the bad playboy’s are still fondling with their bra straps. He liked girls like mad but hardly walked up to one. I think it was his livers failing him but people just thought he didn’t like them and have already canonized him. I knew he loved girls. I will tell you about this guy and how he landed a girl that his very bad friends could only dream of. Her name was Vivian and she was very sumptuous. She was the type that when she walked past, even the reverend Fathers would scream “What is this?”. As usual, in an unsuspecting manner, our very calm friend was somehow managing to attract this particular out of the league girl’s attention to himself more than anyone else. Before anyone could say “Vivian is SEXY”, they were already exchanging love messages. Apart from knowing that this niggar liked girls, I also knew he had never done anything out of the ordinary with any girl in a lonely room, to approximate it, he was a virgin. So it had me quite wondering what he was going to do with all that sauce in one girl. I mean, there were 800 guys in my school, waiting to devour that Italian cuisine of a girl like a hot lunch and she was falling over that guy whom everyone was doubting if he actually had a c0ck. One thing to another and the devil had his way. They both found their way into the school toilet at the same time, with the same intention, behind bolted doors. He stared at the girl and she stared back with a naughty grin. “Oh Jesus, look at that breast,” he thought in his naive mind. He loved girls but was just realizing that he also loved b**bss. So he stared and she stared back, he started and she stared back, stared and stared back. The stares went back and forth, to and fro until he got tired of looking at those breasts. He moved closer with the same intention as hers. He wanted to touch it and she wanted it to be touched. He just didn’t know how to do it and she didn’t know how to ask. He got closer and stretched out his hand. Somehow, involuntarily, his hands missed the inflated b**bss hiding behind a school P.E wear and went to her neck rather. Well he decided to start with a kiss. They got into it and the tension went down a bit. He soon realized that he couldn’t kiss her without his hands searching for her infamous b**bss. So he just licked the lips and squeezed the b**bss he was so much hungry for at the same time. “Gimme your tongue,” he whispered and she obliged. He pounced on it like a roll of kanda meat and licked it dry. She soon started moaning softly and searching for his zippers. He helped her push them down and his dick peeked out through his TOMMY HILFIGER boxers. She rubbed the head and holding it like a dog leash, brought him closer to her and her chest met his. “Can I suck?” she asked amidst the kisses. He nodded and she went down immediately. She bit the tip and he jerked. He had never felt something like that before. Something that makes you want to cry but you end up liking it. She swirled her tongue at the opening of the dick and he winced. That girl was a good header. She moved her head back and forth and repeated it severally and when he felt like he was being electrocuted in a lovely way, she stopped. He eyed her angrily as she stood up. “Why did you stop?” “Wait, come.” She pulled him closer to the toilet seat and dropped her pant on the floor. She placed her left leg on the closed toilet seat and raised her skirt, revealing a not so attractive but very inviting tool to him. He moved closer, his dick in the air. He grabbed her waist and pushed his dick into the darkness beneath her spread legs. His tip hit some flesh and it sent some sensation down his spine. “Is it in?” he asked and she shook her head. “That was my laps,” she said and grabbed his dick. Navigating it like a compas* into her waiting hole. They both moaned as their tools connected. He started thrusting slowing, holding her by her 2 ton of naked as*. He squeezed his face and her as* as he rammed her in their standing position. One thing to another, they found their way to the floor. It made it more easier. His lips on her mouth, his hands on her b**bss and his dick in her pus*y, the sky was the limit. She spread her legs from 3:45 o’clock to 2:55. He placed his hands on the floor on which they lay and danced his c0ck into her hole. And when he couldn’t take it anymore, he whimpered. “I want to urinate.” “What?” she asked, holding him by his school shirt. “I said I want to urinate, it’s coming out,” he whimpered again. “No, urinate in there,” she replied, still holding him by the shirt. Before he could protest, the supposed urine shot out and into her pus*y. Littering the whole flesh. He felt weak and pulled out slowly, surprised that the urine was whitish and thick. Vivian got pregnant few weeks after and had accused one guy in our area of being responsible for it. But each time I saw the baby boy, his nose and the way he ogled at girls makes me think he is mine. Lemme wait first, until that boy becomes a president or richest man in the world, that’s when I will tell that guy that I also f**ked Vivian in our school toilet. Oops, I forgot to mention it. That our friend was ME. I am coming, Chinaza has woken up and I don’t want her to see this because I told her she was the one that broke my Virginity.

    EPISODE 29

    “Improves orgasms – Blood flow intensifies your sexual desire. In fact, some women achieve a real orgasm for the first time ever during pregnancy! Burns calories – Sex is the most fun way to stay fit — you’ll burn 50 calories or more in 30 minutes of love-making. Lowers blood pressure – Sex has been found to lower blood pressure, a good thing for both of you, since high blood pressure is linked to the pregnancy complication preeclampsia.” I turned and looked at her. She readjusted her wrapper and dug her head further into my chest. “Chinaza are you even listening,” I asked. She nodded and I continued. “Improves sleep – For moms: Sex is relaxing — so it helps you sleep better. For babies: The rocking motion of a sex session often lulls baby to sleep. Boosts immunity – A study found that sex boosts levels of IgA, an antibody that helps avoid colds and other infections. Boosts happiness – Orgasm releases endorphins — which make both you and baby happier and more relaxed.” “So you see it is very important for pregnant woman to have sex once in a while.” I had spent the better part of the day trying to convince her why it is very much important that she had a little bit of sex, for my own good actually. Koji was trying to choke me. “And so what?” she asked and raised her head to look at me, tightening the knot of her wrapper. “Just today Naza. Are you happy seeing me like this?” “Like how?” “Like this naa, like this.” I said pointing to my erect dick. “Sorry, I can’t help you.” “Why?” I asked. “Because I’m in my period,” she snapped and I wondered what type of stupid period she is having when she is pregnant. That wasn’t even the koko. Wait for it… “Naza you are pregnant already, you can’t be in your period naa.” “My own is different,” she said. She was denying me sex and her head was on my chest. “Naza is not true, show me the menstrual blood.” “Okay, there is no period, let me be biko.” “Chinaza why are you denying me sex these days?” I asked. “Because I am a virgin,” she blurted out. I really tried in resisting the urge to scream. Oshey, Virgin Mary. That was it. I was too weak to even pursue it further. I managed to salvage my chest from her head and turned to the other side of the bed. We are going on communication strike. Well shaa, I was yet to find out what would move naza to succumb to my demands each time. Obviously, threats of getting it elsewhere doesn’t work. I wasn’t going to talk again but my body will not hear. How can a girl be lying next to you with all her glamour, beauty and sexiness and you will just be there looking. Like a snake in the dark, my hand moved stealthily to her own part of the bed. First attempt was furtile because my hands met her covered stomach. I pretended it was a mistake and she pretended she didn’t notice. Second attempt was a direct hit. My hand landed on the knot of her wrapper. I tugged and tugged and “Kpaa!” That was the sound my hand made as Naza hit it with her hand. I nursed my pain and frustration in silence for about 5 minutes before I launched my 3rd attack. I am among the people that believed that the number 3 was a special number. Either Naza was going to kill me on the 3rd attempt or she will give me what I want. I went in again, coiling my hand around her waist like a rope. She grabbed my arm and turned to face me. We met eyeball to eyeball. Somehow her eyes were very bright in that darkness. She didn’t give me what I wanted but she killed me with her eyes. She flung my hand away furiously and I seemed to appreciate the circumstances that often led to rape. But I can’t rape my own baby. I was going to ask nicely. I held her and snuggled her closer, against her will. She was strong but I was stronger. I tried kissing her but she threw her face away. Nice one, I rather bit her neck lightly like one of them vampire movies. I was expecting her to bite back, but no. She wound her arms round my neck and gave me her face. Chinaza works in mysterious ways. I plucked her mouth and she obliged, while I was at it, my hand went down to her wrapper and yanked it off, before she would change her mind. Luckily, it wasn’t the nights she loved to wear bum shorts. I engaged her clit and she brushed my hand off. “What are you doing?” she asked. For real? What did she think I was doing?. “I thought you were ready or something?” “Okay, just this night?” she asked. I nodded like a lizard. “Just this night, I swear.” She got up from the bed, dragging her wrapper behind her. “I am coming,” she said and tied the wrapper again and walked outside. I waited patiently, conjuring all manner of styles I was going to unleash on her. I have seen many ways to f**k pregnant women online and I was going to try them out. The door opened and Naza came in dragging shape behind her. Me and Shape was just staring at each like dundees. I knew that whenever Chinaza wanted to compensate me for something, she normal outdid herself, she will always do it fantastically. But this? This was off the chain abi hook. I never expected her to hand me a 3some with Shape on a platter of gold. So I was very surprised when she dragged shape into my room that wonderful night. I was Imagining two sharp babes all over me in a single night, two hot babes, two Chinazas. The Lord was going to be good. Then Naza spoke. “Chinaza,” she called, that was Shape. “I agreed to allow him only this night, he said he was going to die if he didn’t do it. So go and help him, but it’s just this night o. Let me sleep in peace.” She left me and shape and walked out of the room. Like. WHAT DAH FVCK!!! It will be very silly of anybody to think that I actually f**ked shape that night, including me because I actually wanted to, shaa I didn’t. I wasn’t that gullible. So it seemed Willie and Shape are actually becoming an item. At a time, Willie spent more time in my lodge than he did at his school. With Chinaza gone, there was space in my room for them. In the end, I realized that trying to f**k Shape was an idea dead on arrival. Like I said, I can share anything with Willie but not a pus*y. And besides even among thieves, there is honor. So I started realizing that Chinaza’s excesses were just becoming excessive. Imagine she never allowed me to shook before going back to school and shape had no available explanation for that behavior. Even James was confused. I even thought about the worst, maybe someone was spicing her up and she decide not to get it from me. Eh, noo, Naza has a clean sheet to the best of my knowledge. But then, I decided I needed to be very sure. I dropped into her lodge that day like a sting operation. It was on a Saturday and everyone was home. I sneaked up to her room and sneaked inside. She just lay on her bed sleeping. I watched her in silence for sometime before I sat beside her on the bed. She was sleeping with her nightie on and her skin radiated all over the room. She jerked when she saw my face like I was one of those things someone would see in an evil nightmare. She relaxed when she realized I wasn’t a ghost and hugged me, rubbing her big belly against mine. “You didn’t tell me you were coming,” she said and wiped her face. “I was hoping to catch your new boyfriend.” “Didn’t you see him outside?” she asked me. “Who?” “My new boyfriend.” “Yea, I saw one imbecile outside, was he the one?” She laughed and dropped her head and mas* of sweet smelling hair on my shoulder. I held her and slowly lay on the bed while she laid her head on my chest. “I only do upgrades, I can’t jump from one imbecile to another, its not okay for my health.” I only laughed because by the time I realized she was indirectly calling me an imbecile, the topic was already cold. “Chinaza,” I called softly and she moaned a sexy answer. “How much do you love me?” I asked after a brief pause. “I am keeping your baby and you are still asking me that question.” “I just want to be sure.” “Well calculate it yourself,” she replied. “How?” “Well, like this. You are broke, you lie, you cheat and you irritate me sometimes and I am still with you.” I smiled and pinched her as*. Normally she likes it but would rather not admit, she would often say it made her look slutty. “So 80%?” I asked. She raised her head and dropped me a surprise kiss on my lips. The kiss was a deep one because she actually closed her eyes in the process. “100% baby,” she whispered and I felt like I was just starting to date her. “So why are you keeping your body away from me?” I asked. “I know you will bring that up.” “Well, so?” “Well because I am tired of feeling like you love my body more than you love me.” “That’s not true, I love you before any other thing.” “Well, try and prove it.” “How do I prove it?” “Neche I am pregnant,” she said and raised her head to look at me. “I know.” What else could I possibly answer? “Have you ever asked me how the baby is turning, if he is biting me or kicking me?” Yea, that’s true, I never asked, I didn’t even know all those things mattered. “Did you even ask how long I have carried it?” My spiritual eyes bulged. I can’t even say how many months old the pregnancy is. “Do you know that there is something called Antenatal? Or ask me if I go to the hospital for check up?” I was just moping and counting the number of lines on her ceiling fan. “All you know is that sex is good for pregnant women, that is all you talk about.” She was speaking slowly but anyone that knew her could tell she was angry. I didn’t even know what to say. Apparently there was more to pregnancy than just shooting it in there. She got up from my body and faced the wall. I dropped my hand on her waist and gently mas*aged her. “Naza I’m really sorry, I didn’t realize that all these things mattered.” “How will you know, all you know is yourself and what you want, just leave me and go.” She was serious. I begged and begged and begged. A small something became a big something. She wouldn’t talk to me and I too was getting angry. I got up and walked outside, making up my mind to leave from there. I was going to go if this girl hadn’t walked up to me. She had that thing that makes me drool over them girls. I was just outside the gate and she was pas*ing by, jingling her fine as*ets in a handless grey gown that the middle stuck to the parting of her fine as* like a g-string. I needed something to cheer me up and I found one. Maybe she will take me to her lodge and make me happy. I called her and she wasn’t the snubby type. She came and I told her the story of how I was lost and looking for a lodge I was standing at it’s gate. She pointed behind me and waited like she knew I also wanted to take her number. Well it was easy. As I was typing the last digit of her mobile number. Someone snatched the phone from my hand, I turned with a loaded slap in my right hand only to meet Naza standing there. Well she deleted the number and dragged me back inside. You don’t want to know what happened in there but I enjoyed every bit of it. We all should f**k a pregnant woman once in a while.

    EPISODE 30

    My time in that clas* was wasted between staring at that girl and playing winning eleven on my phone. Her skin was radiating like always and her upper part of the body still helped me tap into the picture of a very mas*ive backside. Even though she was seated, my eyes already knew how downward gifted she was. How wouldn’t I know? She was Eva after all. My darling, daring Evangeline. She was still bitter at me though. She actually walked past me and sat 3 rows before me in the crowded lecture hall. She didn’t want to sit with me but she wouldn’t like to be out of my sight. Maybe she found out how much of a torment staring at her was to me. I was surrounded by not so coded guys and her seat could accommodate one more skinny person but not without rubbing and scratching the body parts. Well the chair was occupied by mostly girls so the rubbing and Scratching was more than welcomed to me. 30 minutes into the end of the clas*, I stood up and walked to her seat. She sat before one busty girl at the end of the chair. “Excuse me,” I whispered to the girl. She gave me the kind of look one would give to mad man in fresh designer clothes. “There is no more chance here,” the girl snapped. Eva was already looking at me so turning back was a crime. “I was here before, ask that girl,” I protested, nodding towards Eva. Eva gave me a look that showed she was out rightly going to deny me but looks can be deceiving. She nodded in confirmation to my claim and voila! I was shuffling my body parts between one endowed chic and another busty other. Heaven can’t be more wonderful and I am no pervert please. “I love your hair,” I whispered to her and smiled. “Shhh!!” came the rebuff from my two sides. Eva and the girl. I turned towards the other girl with a look like “What is your own matter?” and faced Eva again. “Baby,” I called softly and she ignored me. I saw a little smile at the other corner of her face tho. “You are beautiful today,” I continued. I wasn’t going to stop if she doesn’t react. I can’t lose my favorite babe just like that. She was too beautiful to give away. She smiled and shook her head, still not looking at me. “I missed your lips.” This one cracked her up and she switched from a stifled laughter to a faked violent cough when the old lecturer turned his attention to her. I did the mannequin pose, barely blinking. The man let it slide and continued his very boring lecture. “Respect yourself,” she whispered to me. I raised my hand in a pleading style and tried to bring it down but somehow, the other girl’s mas*ive jugs had created a barrier. I couldn’t possibly bring down my hand without my elbow squeezing them. I was going to protest before I realized that I was going to like it. So I just went ahead and brought down my hand. I swear that girl’s jugs were a bunch of pillows. So soft and it actually flows like liquid. She wouldn’t have seen it as a big deal if I hadn’t given her one uncanny look. She stared back and I stared harder. I won the staring match as she looked away. “Do you mind if I talk to you?” I asked her, stealing a line from August Alsina’s verse in “Do you mind”. Like most girls would do. She ignored me. I pushed further. “Well, are you actually learning anything from this clas*?” “Yes,” she snapped. “Good, so you will teach me then, this other girl here doesn’t like me and you look smart.” She smiled eventually while my eyes were on her cleavage like the discussion were between me and it. “What’s that your name again?” I asked her observing Eva shift uncomfortably. “Cynthia,” she murmured. The second Cynthia I am meeting, I hoped she wasn’t as crazy as the first. I also hoped she was endowed like the first, her b**bss was satisfactory enough. I nodded and said Ok. I faced the board for the First time that day. I soon noticed that she took occasional glances at me. I faced my front. I was determined to give Eva a little torment with the time left. “What’s your own name?” she asked me. I turned and my eyes went automatically to her b**bss before meeting her face. “Chinecherem but you can call me “my love”,” I replied with a wink. She smiled. Eva kicked me lightly on my foot, who knew that sophisticated girls could get jealous. “So when are we taking that lecture?” I asked, ignoring Eva’s kick. “Which lecture?” she asked. “Our own private lecture, the one going on now.” She smiled and I nodded. There is this particular guy called muscle in our department. His name is self explanatory. He has everything needed in an ideal guy except a smile. One hardly sees his teeth. I will tell you a bit about muscle even though it will look like I am digressing but it is very important that I tell you about him. He was this tall, hulky person, even taller than my father that would often brag about his height. His eyes, well I bet he also has muscles in them and when he talks, it sounds like when God spoke to the Israelites on the mountain. Very thunderous. So the clas* ended and Eva couldn’t take it anymore. She seized my hand as the girl walked away. Man that girl was just okay. The lower part of her body I found out was exquisite. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me?” I asked Eva as she held on to me. “I changed my mind.” “Well, do you have anything for me?” I asked and she nodded with a beautiful smile. “Well, I am coming, let me get something over there.” She let me go and I started walking towards my new found Cynthia. Somewhere along the line of my going to meet her. Someone beat me to it. He hugged her tightly, covering almost all her body with his huge biceps. I wouldn’t want to meet a girl that obviously has something to do with muscle. So I ran back to Eva. “Did you say you have something for me?” I asked her. She nodded again. “In my lodge,” she said. “Let’s go and get it.” We walked a little distance out of the faculty before someone shouted my name with an angelic voice. I turned and Cynthia was walking towards me. “That lecture,” she started and I smiled. “My sister here has agreed to teach me,” I said and she nodded. I can run after any guy’s girl but not the type of guy with that type of muscle. Something no dy do me for head. Every morning I wake up, before I turn over in my bed, before I yawn, before I say thank you lord for another day, I call Chinaza and ask her how the baby is kicking. If she would be going for Antenatal or not, I tell ya, this baby and pregnancy ish ain’t easy. I seemed to be lucky it was Chinaza. She doesn’t want much, just my reas*urance and constant phone calls. She would even flash me to call her so she can tell that she felt like the baby was laughing, well, that isn’t much, I could cope. On a very good day, after Chinaza had asked me to slow down on asking her if the baby was about to kick her to death, she asked me to start asking her how she was coping with school and little junior in her stomach. You can hardly tell what them girls want anyways, James walked into my room, scratching the Skin off his genitals. I watched him as he came in, not minding the look on my face. “Guy, how would you know if you have been infected with all these S.T.Ds?” he asked me. Shaking his boxers and rubbing his dick. “I don’t know, you go to the hospital and check.” “I thought Cynthia gave you one back then, how did you find out?” “Cynthia gave me what?” I asked. “Gave you gonorrhea,” he replied and sat on my reading desk. “Noo, shebi I told you she was joking and besides, why you dy ask sef?” “Na just this girl in my villa, doing the easter holidays. Small girl wey just finish her waec, I no know say she dy her period,” he stopped and scratched his head. “Wetin come happen? You f**k am?” I asked and he gave me that look that you would give a person you expect to understand a coded signal you gave him. “So you f**k am?” I asked and he nodded. I was going to kill him with laughter if not that someone knocked on my door. I said come in. My curtain opened and in came this piece of gorgeousness. I have never met her in my whole life but I swear I was liking her already, she hadn’t even spent 5 seconds at my door. “Hello,” she sang out and my body quivered. “Are you looking for someone?” James asked. I gave him a killer look. “How can someone be in my room and you are asking her if she is looking for someone? Can’t you see she is looking for me.” The damsel smiled and my heart melted. “Erm sorry, Chinaza said I should meet Chinecherem here,” she said and my heart skipped. Why would Naza send a girl like her to my room?. My heart actually skipped, I gave her a confused look with my lower jaw hanging in the air. “I mean, Chinaza that lives here with her sister,” she explained and my brain clicked. I had almost forgotten that shape’s name was Chinaza. “Okay?” “Yes, she said I should get the key for her room from you.” Well,I shot a look at the key where I kept it on my fridge and decided I wasn’t going to let this girl out of my room so easily. “She didn’t give me the key, maybe she forgot,” I said and James eyed me like I was the cause of his scratches. Everyone knew that shape gives me her keys each time she is Leaving, just in case her sister comes in unexpectedly. The girl gave a despaired look and I came to the rescue like spider man. “Well, you can stay here and wait for her, she will soon be back anyways,” I offered. She accepted and said she was going to get her things outside. We nodded, James was already poke nosing , so it was the two of us that nodded. The girl left, leaving the sweetest smell I have ever seen behind. “Guy this one is mine,” James whispered and got down from the table. “You are mad,” I replied. He looked very serious and I told him we could share her. He would be sending her love messages while I will be doing the rest. He didn’t like the idea and wanted to swap it the other way, like I will be sending the messages and he would be doing the rest, well I didn’t like the idea as well. “Let me change, I’m coming to keep you guys company,” he said and moved to the door. “Guy respect yourself, better stay in your room and continue that scratching.” He laughed his way out of the room.

    EPISODE 31

    The chic came back in with her traveling bag and dropped it on my reading table. She soon relaxed on the bed and faced the T.V. Something within me was telling me to go and hold her there but luckily enough, I had the gift of distinguishing between the voice of God and that of the devil. “So what is your own name?” I asked her and she turned to me. “Chinecherem,” she answered. “No, I didn’t ask you for my name, I mean your own name.” She smiled and revealed her very beautiful dentition. “My name is Chinecherem.” I nodded and kept quiet. She turned back to the T.v and I turned back to observing her from the back. Her curves were ok, she had the body of my baby, Naza before she got pregnant. She was Chocolate complexioned and I was sure she would taste like one. “Are you shape’s sister?” I asked. “Eh?” “Sorry, I mean Chinaza, are you her sister?” “Yes, she is my cousin.” I nodded and smiled. I can’t have Shape but her sister, God help us. She even bears my name. Who feels a connection here? If you do, shout hallelujah. James made me a promise and he kept it. He came back to keep us company. The room was bubbling with laughter and everything. The girl was quite energetic, she always has something to say. We were in this mood when Shape rolled in to our company with her killer shape. She didn’t even reply our hailing. She just ran straight to the bed and sat between me and Chinecherem. She gave me that look Chinaza gave me the day I told her I wanted to try anal. And then she turned to her cousin. “Shebi I told you to collect key from him?” “He said you forgot to drop the key so I decided to wait here for you.” Shape turned to look at me but I was already engaged in an eye conversation with James. She brought back my attention with a smack on my leg. I turned and eyed her. “I forgot the key was here naa,” I protested. Well, she picked the key and they were both on their way out. I called shape and she looked at me. “She is hot,” I mouthed in a way that Chinecherem wouldn’t hear it. She smiled and called her back. “Neche let me introduce you to them,” she started and faced James. “His name is James but we call him king Solomon. He is not a king as you can see and he is also not that wise, so use your head and understand.” I nearly fell off my bed with laughter when I read the meaning into that intro. Shape was crazy. Even James laughed. My turn. She faced me. “He bears the same name with you. Do you remember that my very beautiful light-skinned friend, Chinaza? That one you said that you liked?” she asked her and she nodded with a grin. “Yes, this one is her husband to be and she is currently pregnant for him.” James laughed at his own introduction but I couldn’t laugh at mine. James didn’t mind though, he heaped it on me. So shape just disqualified the two of us in the rush for Chinecherem in a very coded way, nice try. “And guys, this is Chinecherem, my cousin. She came to prepare for her Jamb.” “Thanks for the introduction but you should have allowed us to introduce ourselves naa,” James said and I nodded. “Don’t worry, she understood my own introduction.” They left and our eyes tailed shape’s backside. We snapped our hands in unison and laughed. “Guy forget that introduction, we will reintroduce ourselves,” I said and James concurred. My brother is the most useful brother one can ever have. All I needed was a WhatsApp Chat and Willie was more than willing to invite Shape to his school. If you had shape as a girlfriend, trust me, you would want to invite her everyday. And if you had a boyfriend like Willie, trust me, you will never refuse his invite especially when I found out he took more than 50k for that his tuxedo. I am the only broke playboy in our family as it is. “She is 18 years old, I think she can take care of herself. But if you asked us, we are more than willing to help.” I told Shape and turned to James who nodded in agreement. “The two of you?” she asked looking at the both of us. We nodded. “I will rather keep her in a brothel.” “Good, keep her there naa, it’s the two of us that will still go and visit her there,” James said. We all laughed. She didn’t have a choice, she left to visit Willie and Chinecherem stayed back. Under both our cares actually. She was here for her Jamb so we thought we might as well teach her a thing or two. So it wasn’t until shape left that we came to realize that she wasn’t our only problem. We had forgotten about our ownership fight. Apparently, we couldn’t share her. “Don’t worry, Just give me 2 weeks and then you can have her,” James offered. I smiled and shook my head. “You want me to insert my preek the same place you have inserted that your prick you have been scratching since, no way bro.” “So what do we do, I don’t like a type of 3some where there is only one girl,” he said and I shook my head. “Me too, I don’t like it.” We sat facing the T.v in silence, I was contemplating on leaving her for James, that way, if he takes her out, then I can tag along as an observer and he would have to pay for the 3 of us. It was shaping to be an excellent idea until Chinecherem walked into the room clutching her Jamb past question. She wore this gown, skimpy gown that highlighted her curvitude and sexy body. Her jugs jiggled as she walked in, a pretty smile on her shinning face. I changed my mind instantly. “I need help with my maths,” she said, looking at me first and then at James. “We are busy, stay there and wait,” James answered her, pointing to the reading chair. She obeyed and I turned to James. “What if we did try your luck?” I asked him and Chinecherem turned to us. “For what?” She asked. “We are not talking to you, wait until we finish,” I snapped and returned to facing James. He nodded and I picked a paper and pen. I tore the paper into 2 and on one I wrote “She’s mine” and on the other I wrote “I lost her”. I squeezed them and shook my head. “The things we do for girls,” I murmured and squeezed one more than the other. “I will pick first,” I protested and James shook his head violently. We argued back and forth and Chinecherem watched us, drooling with laughter, oblivious of the fact that the fight was over her. “It was me that brought the idea and it was also me that wrote it so I’m supposed to choose first,” I argued and James thought about it. The argument seemed to hold water to him so he obliged me. Like a hitman, I made my pick and he made his. “Nooo, you cheated,” James yelled and I laughed, apparently I had won the girl but James thought otherwise. Another argument ensued and Chinecherem continued laughing at the drama. If only she knew we were deciding her fate right there. Another amicable agreement came. James was to rewrite it. He did and, what were you expecting?. He won. We went back and forth and our bone of contention watched us thinking it was all funny. “Guy, you know you are my guy, almost my bro,” James started and I just eyed him with my hand on my cheek. “Just let me have this one.” I shook my head in disagreement. “Ok, see what will happen,” I said and he watched me anxiously. “Let’s ask her.” “Ask her what?” “The one she wants,” I said giving him signs with my eyes. “No, I don’t trust her,” he said. “Me too,” I replied. So we sat there, observing our minute of silence, thinking and hoping for solution when James’ eyes went to door and a triumphant smile crept out of his fine face. I followed the direction of his gaze and my eye met that of my Baby mama standing at my door. Apparently, I have lost the conquest. Finito.

    EPISODE 32

    She just stood there looking so elegant. The pregnancy removed nothing from her beauty, it rather added a sort of sexy appeal to her radiant skin and made her saucy. Chinaza was just on fleek as she stood at my door that day but then, I would have loved to have me some Chinecherem. She gave Chinecherem that look she normally gives me each time she gives me a head and I refuse to return the favor. Very deadly look. “Who is she?” she asked, it was actually her first word on entering my room. Her eyes was roving from Chinecherem to me. “Aunty don’t you remember me?” Chinecherem asked. I as*umed the Aunty calmed her. She sized her up again and shook her head. “She is shape’s sister,” I added. “Who is shape?” Chinaza asked, facing me. “Who else do you know that I know that has the potentials to be called shape?” “Oh okay, Chinaza? You are Chinecherem right?” she asked, facing her. She nodded and that ended it. I don’t think it stopped her from suspecting that I may have an extra friendly business with her. Chinaza walked up to me on the bed and made a sit out of my laps. I didn’t mind cos her as* was all soft and cosy only that she developed a little bit of weight. James was already colonizing Chinecherem with immediate alacrity and I was just fuming. Chinaza doesn’t know when she is needed. I would have told her but I doubt if it was a good idea. But then, whatever, Chinaza even looked better than her, I am not hating shaa. But then, there is something about all these new Secondary school graduates that adds the veins to my preek. Shaa shaa, things fell into place, slowly. Chinaza in my arms complaining endlessly about waist pain and wanting to go out and relax. James sweet talking Chinecherem and she looking endlessly at me and Chinaza. Something was telling me that she envied Chinaza’s position and may want to make a switch and I would have loved that. At least, her maths tutorial didn’t seem like it would happen which was better for me, I had lost touch with the mathematical side of me and James love for mathematics was inversely proportional with my love for fine girls. “Did you cook?” Shape asked and Chinecherem scoffed. Even Chinaza was smiling mischievously. She obviously knew that cooking for me was next to reading my books without any upcoming exam or quiz in my list of impossibility. “I’m hungry,” she said after getting that f**k you look from me. “What do you want to eat?” I asked, rubbing at her tummy and having her smile up at me. “Food.” “Lemme buy indomie,” I said, trying to move her away from me. She refused and shook her head. “What is indomie, is that what the baby will use and be Strong?” “What do you want naa?” “Take me out,” she snapped and my head cracked like a coconut. “I know a restaurant around here that sells cheap and interesting food,” Chinecherem Chipped in. “Yes, and they have the right food for pregnant women,” James supplemented her. I shot them two live bullets with my eyes and frowned. Chinecherem was smiling sheepishly, I wondered what gave that small girl the right to talk among men. James was giving me that his wicked grin. I hissed. “When married men are talking, bachelors and spinsters should mind their business,” I said and everyone laughed, except me, it was my Pocket money that they are trying to divide into three after all. “Baby please,” Chinaza begged with a look that would make you buy her the whole of Mr Biggs but then, I don’t even have the money to buy her a mama put. “I don’t have money,” I begged back. She didn’t believe me. “Baby, please,” she continued. “I don’t have money,” I repeated. “Please.” “Money.” “So I and the baby should remain hungry naa,” she snapped. “But I offered to cook indomie.” “It’s not good for the baby abeg, he needs solid food.” “Is the baby complaining?” I asked. She eyed me angrily, I don’t know if she was serious with the anger or she was just pretending but she was still lying on my body so I as*umed the anger wasn’t serious. “Maybe we should go to the woman outside the gate, she even have 100 naira a plate food,” Chinecherem continued with her suggestions while Naza kept nodding. “100 naira food won’t do us naa,” James added and Chinaza nodded again. “We? as in, who are the we?” I asked, gathering as many frowns as my face would allow me. “Us, all of us. We are hungry too,” Chinecherem answered. “Do you see any breast on me?” I asked and she shook her head, a good deal of confusion registered on her beautiful face. “Why do you ask?” she asked me. “Well, is like you are mistaking me for your mother.” Again, everyone laughed except me. Then like a storm, Shape breezed in, dragging her as* in and Willie behind her as*. “Hey, the latest couple in town, Welcome,” Chinecherem clapped. Everyone kept quiet and turned to her. The surprise was on everyone’s face. “Ar ar, I know these two guys don’t smoke and no one in this lodge smokes so I am wondering who gave you the weed that is pushing you like this,” Shape asked. “Ask her o,” James said. Me, I was just looking, how can someone be so mouthed. She hadn’t even been up to 3 weeks around and she’s already sweet on everybody, even Willie that she just met. A very naughty side of me saw in a vision, a 3some involving me and James hovering over her head like the holy spirit. “Is she that your cousin?” Willie asked shape and she nodded. “She is fine shaa,” he murdered and scratched his side burns. James coughed. Chinaza charged up. “See Willie, something is bordering us here,” she said and Willie turned to her. “What is bothering our wife?” “We are hungry,” she replied, waving at all of us. We nodded. Willie was willing to impress and in no time, My door was closed and we were on our way out, like an extended family. Each to his company. Chinaza was willing to show everyone around that her pregnancy was mine. James and Chinecherem, well, Shape ensured he kept an accurate 9 inches distance from each other but that didn’t stop my niggar from mas*aging her booty from time to time. We ended up at a restaurant. We ate and we made merry, the boys drank and got drunk and the girls accumulated bills on Willie’s head but that money for his graduation tuxedo seemed not be finishing. Shape took a sip of Willie’s drink and let her tongue loose. She revealed in her drunken state, some things that was between her and Naza. Apparently, she had asked Naza to come and keep an eye on us and her cousin. She trusted James a bit, it was with me that her suspicions lay. Obviously I needed to work on my reputation. Even shape is hiding her sister from me. Hmmmm. Shape was a very sexy girl. I believe I have mentioned that here many a time. You can never over exaggerate her sexiness. Everything she did was as sexy AF, the way she talked, her smile, her cat walk. But as of recent, she seemed to have developed a very unsexy trait. Just one and it wasn’t until she came back from that honeymoon with Willie that it all started. She is always spitting around and it wasn’t attractive at all. At first, I ignored it until that Jambite talkative talked to me about it. “Ehm, Neche, are you aware that Chinaza is always spitting around?” She asked me, hovering over me and my plate of rice like an evil spirit. I boned and focused my attention on my food. She liked food too and is always sharing mine. She will say, “after all, you are my namesake, if you don’t take care of me, who will.” and is only in matters of sharing food that she remembers that we share the same name but when it comes to the other one, well shaa. “So what?” I asked her, stuffing my mouth with half of the meat in the food. I thought I saw her eye me. “Well, just last night, she vomited and.. ” I hushed her. She was going to ruin my appetite with the unsavory tale. “Chinecherem, I am eating abeg.” ” I know but what I am saying is that she wasn’t doing all those things until she visited your brother,” She continued. “So you are saying Willie taught her how to spit everywhere?” “No, you remember in Nigeria movies, when a woman starts vomiting? She said and eyed me suggestively. “Then she is pregnant,” I completed it for her. She seemed to be making sense for the first time and I dropped my spoon. “Where is shape?” I asked. “In our room.” I got up from my chair and eyed her, then eyed my food. “Don’t touch it.” “I swear I won’t.” “I am serious.” “I won’t touch it. Go and see her.” I left her to guard over my food. Goat and Yam. I got to shape’s room and met her lying on the bed looking as shapy as ever, only that her face wasn’t so bright. “Baby,” I called softly and sat beside her on the bed. “Sweetheart,” she replied. I touched her head and it was a bit hot. “Neche told me you were vomiting last night.” “Yes, I’m not feeling too well,” she said weekly. “How is it doing you?” “Slight headache, body pain, nauseous and my stomach too,” she listed out. “Ah ah, only you?” “Yes o,” she said. “When did it start?” “I started noticing slightly while I was with Williams baby, but it was just a slight headache back then, now even my waist is paining me.” My jaw dropped, I looked at that waist and shook my head. It’s mas*ive size made me wonder why it won’t pain but eventually, I thought, Willie has banged this girl into pregnancy. My father would just insist that he marry her. “Do you think you are?” I asked suggestively and she eyed me. “That I am what?” “You know naa,” I repeated, rubbing my stomach. “Pregnant?” she blurted out and I nodded. “Nooo,” she said and shook her head vigorously, with some sort of confidence. “How would you know that you are not?” “I don’t know, I cannot be pregnant now, not now abeg.” An Idea struck my head and I picked up my phone, dialed Chinaza’s number and put it on loud speaker. It rang 3 times before she picked. “Hello,” she sang into the phone. “Baby how are you?” I asked and she replied fine. Her voice showed she was fine, she was sounding really sweet. “And the baby?” I added. “He is trying to strangle himself with my umbilical cord. He has been disturbing me since morning.” “Ehyaa, sorry sweetheart, I wish I could help you carry her,” I replied, placing my emphasis on the HER. She wanted a boy and I wanted a girl. I loved girls. “It’s a he dear and I wish you could help me carry him too, you only know how to get me pregnant,” she replied stressing the he. I wasn’t in the mood for an argument and it’s my airtime that would burn. So I went straight to why I called her. “Chinaza, what signs were you getting before you went for a pregnancy test?” “How?” she asked. “I mean, how was your body doing you before you realized you were pregnant?” “Why are you asking? Are you pregnant or did you get another girl pregnant?” “What do you mean? How can I be pregnant?” “I don’t know o. You had better be pregnant because if it’s another girl that is pregnant for you, I will strangle you and whoever the silly girl is.” “Jeez. Baby relax,” Shape intervened. “Chinaza?” She called and shape answered. “It’s me that wants to know about the pregnancy stuff,” shape said and Chinaza went cool. “Okay, I thought that silly boy has done it again.” “No, he can’t, not when I am here,” shape replied and eyed me. It was none of my concern, my only concern was that my airtime was burning. “Okay, so it just started with a slight headache,” she started and shape paid rapt attention. “Then, I vomited once I think and I was always feeling dizzy.” I thought I saw shapes eyes bulge and I stifled a laughter. “And I think a part of my breast was paining me,” Chinaza finished and I saw the blood drain from shapes eyes. She was almost crying. “Naza stop, thank you,” I managed to say and switched off my phone before that damn MTN girl will start warning me about my airtime. I shook my head pitifully at her as her eyes moistened. She kept repeating ‘Willie has killed me’. Before it was Williams baby but now she pronounced his name in the old fashioned way my mother would call him, ‘WILLIE’. I’m not very good at consoling girls especially beautiful ones like Shape, I was only good at romancing them and at that point in time, I didn’t think it would be of any help. I had to leave her to mourn herself and left for my room. I met my room empty and my plate that once had a sizable portion of rice and stew with a good chunk of meat was lying very neat in my basket, shining and dripping with the water that must have been used to wash it. I had always told Chinecherem that someday, very soon, I am going to rape her to death but she thinks I am joking. Just one day.

    EPISODE 33

    I was waiting gleefully to hear what Willie had to say about shape being pregnant but then Willie was just Willie. One carefree guy with not a care in the world. He is only worried when two things happen to him. He is broke and he has no pus*y to ram. “What did she vomit? An antelope?” he had asked when I told him about shape vomiting everything she had eaten since her mother birthed her. “Why won’t she vomit when she kept drinking the water from our hostel well after I had told her to use pure water.” And that solved it. The chic was only sick from drinking well water which was infected with a dead dog. The dog had decayed inside it and many other people who drank the water like shape were either wooing chemists or having a field day in their various toilets. Shape had never been so relieved in her entire life, she actually preferred drinking a decayed dog infested water to being pregnant, well, who wouldn’t. She decided she needed some break, to calm her frayed nerves and guess where she was going to calm the nerves. Well, Willie was more than willing to help her calm those nerves. So it was back to being me and James in the lodge with Chinecherem in between us. She was glowing and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I tried to shaa but she had this way of making me not to. She was rather getting on James nerves with her talkativeness. He complained that she even talked in between kisses. That was her only flaw. She was smart too and intelligent to an average. At least she wrote her jamb without help and scored 149. It was her first jamb by the way. Her Jamb result was one of the reasons she had refused to go home earlier. Her friends would laugh her to stupor for her score, she had bragged about how she would trash jamb and maybe score 450 over 400. You know as she is mouthed. School was getting a sort of dry lately. I think everyone was getting tired of being students, just like me. Only that there were no much babes to party with. Only the nerdy ones. James was on his away match things, leaving me and Chinecherem. She kept talking me into anger and talking me out of it. In the end, you can’t just help but sit down and listen. At least, the whole place was lively with her there. So on one sunny Tuesday like that, Shape wasn’t back from calming her nerves yet and James was out with a girl he had just met. It was just me around, lying on my bed and basking in the euphoria of loneliness and boredom. Staring at the ceiling and counting from 1 to 100 and back and hoping nepa would bring light at the count of 50 or 60 or 70 or 100. Just then, Chinecherem came back from where she had gone to eat down a guy that had just hooked her up. She came in, chewing loudly at her gum and humming into my bored ears. I was glad she came back, I needed a bit of her noise. she was on a pink gown and black sneakers. Her as* shot out of her back in a way that would make you want to rock her and her b**bss were ripe for plucking. She came in clutching a black bulky waterproof. She dropped it on the table and sat beside me on the bed. “How are you?” she asked me and I nodded a fine. She rubbed my bare chest and smiled. I wished she would just seduce me because I was too weak to initiate a foreplay plus I was scared she was a virgin. “I am hungry,” she announced, looking round the whole room. “I thought someone took you out.” She hissed and lay beside me, rubbing her body against mine. “Just one shawama and the guy was doing face like he wants to cry.” “So you ate shawama and you came back here to say you are hungry?” “It wasn’t enough naa and I really want to eat indomie,” she sang out and I hissed. “Well, I bought you yogurt,” she announced and I smiled for the first time that day. She ran to the table and came back with the black waterproof. She refused to hand it over, insisting that I take the first sip from her hand. Well I did and she poured the stuff all over my mouth. I was going to lick it up myself if she hadn’t kissed me and did it herself. I watched her with surprise, it was the first time she was doing that. We stared at each other for a long while. She had a smile on her face and I had a frown on mine. “What?” she asked. “What did you do?” “I only licked the yogurt.” “I pray so, don’t lick it again, I have a big tongue.” We got back to drinking the yogurt, taking a sip after each other and when it finished. Our romance too ended. “Why don’t you like me?” she asked all of a sudden. “Who said I don’t like you?” “I know you like me but it’s not that type that I mean,” she said and smiled shyly. “What type?” I asked. “Love. The type that.” I watched her and shook my head. “Do you know that pregnant girl, Chinaza?” I asked her and she nodded. “She will just kill you if she finds out that you are trying to chyke me, ask shape about her.” She replied me in a way that I wasn’t expecting. She threw herself into my hands and got on with licking the rest of the yogurt on my mouth. Funny thing was I actually let her do it. I too engaged myself in licking off hers. We kissed for a long time before we stopped. I was aroused already. I tore down her zipper and she crawled out of the gown, standing before me, clad only in her bra and pant. Her figure firm and her b**bss robust. She was what we called the tip of a fresh pumpkin leaf. Not much tapped. “Are you a virgin?” I asked before hand and she shook her head with a giggle. “Then so help you God,” I murmured and pulled her closer by the cup of her bra. She fell into my hands one more time and we got into another deep French kiss. She dug her hand into my boxer and grabbed my rock hard tool, moaning softly as she felt its ferocity. My hand crawled down to her panties and skid into her clean shaven pus*y. I tugged her clit in between my two fingers and she moaned with mad ecstasy, hugging me tightly and trying to bite out my tongue. We fell on the bed, into deeper foreplay as she shut her eyes through it all. Her beauty was animate as we rocked each other deeper into the ocean of pas*ion only at the brink of getting ourselves into the main ish. I finally drew down her pants and let it drop to the floor, her shoes followed suit and I mounted her. She raised her legs, strapping them to her belly with her two hands to show me the sweet little hole that have destroyed many men. It was shooting out fluids as I slid my tool in, watching her shake with sensation and biting her lips softly. I dived in deeper, holding her legs to her body and moving in slowly, slowly and then faster and harder as she asked for it. She wrapped her legs round my neck and kissed me multiple times as we were at it. “I love you so much,” she murmured and I smiled. Pillow talks. I thought it was only exclusive to guys. I rammed her harder and she kept moaning my name softly, trying to choke me with her legs, but then, the sweet pleasure only made.. the pain more desirable. I brought down her legs and turned her over. She was petite in a way and it made her flexible. I tried her but* hole but it was still tight and I didn’t have the time to break it. I went into the easier hole and continued where we stopped. She was already asking for more and I thought she loved only food. So it was Chinecherem on Chinecherem as we drove each other to madness. I went from being above her to under her as she rode me like a cowgirl, her b**bss jingling along to the ride. The bed was all wet with our sweat. She bent low while she rode me and kissed me, holding my mouth for long and shaking with pas*ion. “I love you, the first time I saw you, I fell in love with you and I didn’t know how to tell you and you treat me like a baby and…. ” she confessed, being her talkative sef. “Neche, stop talking,” I hushed her and she stopped. Her moans was enough noise. Seconds after the silence, she came along with me, spilling the jizz all over my thigh and me, shooting mine up her pus*y. She kissed me warmly and long enough for the both of us to be tired of it. She kept dancing all over me as we cleaned up the whole place. She even wanted a bath together but then, I didn’t want it. “You can only see my dick when I am f**king you.” was what I told her and she didn’t argue. Shape came back that same day. Her nerves seemed all calmed as she was looking fresh and happy. Chinecherem couldn’t keep away from me for a very long time. I realized that her confession of love weren’t just pillow talks after all. She loved me and before she went to bed that day. She texted it to me. “Before I think of anything or anyone else, I would always think of you first. I love you so much my bear.” I read it with a smile on my face. I loved what she called me. “bear”. In the end I texted her back. “I love you too baby bear.” Funny thing was that I actually meant it. Interesting days ahead I tell ya. She wrote me tons of love texts and I wrote her tons of replies. She was falling in love with me and was dragging me along. I started doing the things that I once hated and that was dating a girl in secret. I would normally want my guys to know that I had caught this fine chic and she was blowing my brains out. That was for many other affairs but on this particular one. I had gone against every single ethic. Not that James really cared much about her but he may still be thinking her as his girl. Shape would simply poison Me if she found out. And me sef was loving the girl more than I should and our affair was something beyond just f**kery. I had to confess that for a while there I seemed to have forgotten my pregnant love and was starting to lose interest. In my life, I had always wanted only few things in a girl. She gats to be beautiful, hot and curvy and she must always be around me. Chinecherem scored all that point and that was just all I needed. Chinaza had something above her though. She was light skinned and I love light skin girls like a fat kid loves cake. So James’s sister was going to be married and he was inviting us. It wasn’t actually an invitation, he was insisting we all come, especially me. “At least, if nothing else, you can help me pound cas*ava,” he had said as he was listing out a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t miss the traditional marriage. “Will they make egusi soup?” Chinecherem had asked with excitement. After loving me, the next thing she loves is food but I guess y’all already know that. “Go home and show your daddy your Jamb result,” Shape had chided her. I stifled a laugh and she kept quiet. Her jamb result had this way of keeping her quiet. “But guy, your village is far shaa,” I said. “Are you trekking, no be car you go follow come?’ “And who go pay?” “Williams baby can take us in your mother’s car naa,” shape chipped in. So that was the end of the conversation. We managed to coarse mom out of her car. The crew for the marriage was I, shape and Williams. Chinaza was pregnant and I wouldn’t want her to take the long trip plus she never actually liked the idea of traveling that far. Shape had insisted that Chinecherem go home. Jamb was over already and her parents had been hotline blinging shape over her. I liked the decision tho, even though I realized I was falling in love with her, I didn’t need her to mess up any prospect I had of hooking my self up with an Ebonyi chic. Shape was dragging Willie along unwillingly but he accepted tho. He could do anything for a good booty. I and James actually set out the day before the actual day. He wanted to show me around and help him out whenever he needed it. We left around 6 am. The trip from the bus park to hometown was straight boring. We were sandwiched between two other guys. The one beside me was busy sleeping and pas*ing it onto us and the other guy was speaking Queens English into his phone at every interval, lying to whoever it was that was on the other side of his phone that he was on his way to South Africa. At a point, I had to start asking if we had boarded the wrong bus. The only breath of fresh air in the bus, two fine daughter’s of eve that I would have so much loved to be cranked in between them were way far up at the front seat, being entertained by the driver with his boasts of haven once driven Barack Obama in the white house. Those girls were beautiful but looked very dull so I think they actually believed him. We drove into ebonyi by 3pm. Another 30 minutes on an okada brought us to James’s house. It wasn’t actually the enclave I had expected to see. They had a very nice bungalow to themselves, freshly painted in brown color. The whole house was swarming with workers, designing and cooking. I strapped my bag and shaped my face very well. I needed to wow any chic that might bump into us. “Chibundu!!” I heard someone scream and turned to look. A young lady was running towards us, her b**bss running before her while she followed closely behind. She came right at us and dropped a hot hug on James. I was expecting her to give me mine but nothing of the sort happened. She examined him properly and hugged him again. Then he introduced me to her and her to me. Chinenye was her name, his elder sister and the reason we had come. James is my friend but I am not going to lie, I am too old to tell petty lies. The truth was that James was actually better looking than his sister, Chinenye. She had that curve factor, interesting set of b**bss and an enticing backside but then, James had a better face. We walked into the house. The interior was tasty and impressive. We met his mother in the sitting room. She was one sweet little woman, her face a carbon copy of Chinenye’s. She hugged her son and shook my hand. She was sweet and happy. That settled the difference between James and Chinenye’s difference in looks. I as*umed James got his good looks from his father then. We went to his room. He had done a very good work on it. Nice paint work. A large enough flat screen and a sturdy mattress, lying on a fluffy red rug. “James how come?” I asked, pulling my pencil gean trouser from his wardrobe. He grinned cheek to cheek. “I forgot it during the holidays.” “Ah ah, and you were even helping me search for it back at our lodge. Nawa to you o.”

    EPISODE 34

    Shaa we unpacked and I pulled out my shoes, sliding into my comfortable slippers. We waltzed out to see the rest of the place. We ran into his father at the backyard. He was overseeing the slaughter of a goat. He was a few inches taller than his wife and had a dark strong face, the type of face you would see on a carved woodwork. Maybe he was a bit finer when he was younger but I happen to miss its reflection on his face. Another hug and introduction followed. He shook me strongly and he was really jovial. That added a little glow to his face. “James, is like your village people no dy like fine,” I said after his father had left and he eyed me. “Waka.” I laughed. Just when I was trying to summarize my points to him, a rainbow crawled out of that cloud of a village. This beautiful foxy girl just walked through the house to where we stood. She was all heavy with endowments, she let her cleavage pop out from the top of her blouse and they were fresh. She had dimples, a nice set of smiles and her walk was so out of that village, in fact it was out of this world and she was fair!!! She walked straight to us and dropped all that sauce on James. I stared wide eyed. “Guy meet my little sister, Chinemelum,” James said. She threw me a stupefying smile and I caught it. I went for a hug too and she obliged. I held onto her long enough for James to break us. She excused herself and I turned to James. “Did your mom play away match?” I asked. He gave me a shove as we ran out through the gate that led into the house. The sun was setting already. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and welcomed my self to the city of Ebonyi, The salt of the nation. We danced and made merry all through the night. James’s father let us have a crate of beer to ourselves and we drank it up like fishes. James had this mad home theater in his room and we banged it up with run town’s mad over you track. The ladies around were either older than I was or not fine enough for my standard so I just mingled with my bottle of Heineken. I was at it and also shaking my head to the rhythm of music banging away when I felt a light touch on my arm. I turned and Chinemelum stood before me with a plate of steaming jollof rice in her hand. I took it from her and dropped it on the table with a thank you. “Where are you going?” I asked as she turned to go. She pointed in the direction of the kitchen and I nodded. “Will you come back?” I asked. “I don’t know.” “Well I want you to come back,” I said, flashing her my Mr charming smile. She smiled back. “I will try.” She left the room brushing James who was already on his way in. He came in and shot daggers at me with his eyes. “Nothing naa, she only brought me food,” I protested. “Next time, tell me. I will even add more meat for you.” He dropped more chilled beer on the bed and we knocked ourselves out. Real out. Things moved so fast and I soon found myself at the far corner of the fence, in the darkness with Chinemelum. We weren’t kissing or smooching as most of you would think. She held a bowl of water while I bent low, vomiting the destiny out of my life. I’v had too many to drink and the consequences hit me like a mark trailer. It was my second time of vomiting that evening and she was there through it all, heaping me with sorry. I took the bowl from her and washed my face and then rinsed my mouth. “Thank you,” I murmured, staggering to stand erect. She smiled and her dimples showed. “I would have kissed you but I am afraid I may vomit on you,” I said and she smiled again. “Don’t worry, maybe tomorrow.” I as*umed the answer was conjured up by the liquor in my blood and sent to my brain because if it wasn’t so then it means she would actually allow me kiss her tomorrow. Jeez. Why do girls love me so, or is it because I love them?. We walked into the house, leaning on each other. She left me at the door to James’ room. I pecked her cheek and she smiled. She bade me Goodnight and left. I watched her go and realized How beautiful and innocent she looked. She was the type that I had always loved to kiss and hug but never f**k. She looked too innocent and beautiful to be messed up plus James would poison the next drink he would offer me. I staggered into the room and James was already snoring his life away. I fell beside him and prayed I don’t vomit on him. I and James lay in the room wasted the next day, staring at the ceiling and trying to kill the headache with soft blues. We brushed around 9 am and fell back into the room. We had no business around, everything was already being taken care of. “Your sister is fine,” I whispered to James all of a sudden. “I know, everybody knows, even she knows,” he replied. “Well, are you aware that my name and hers sound alike?” I asked. “So?” “And she is my exact spec, fair, beautiful and curvy,” I said and he turned to look at me. “So?” “We could be in laws you know,” I suggested. “You are still drunk,” he replied and I laughed. “So James, you had a treasure like this at home and you didn’t even tell me, eh Chibundu?” He laughed at the way I called his native name. “Now you know, wetin go come happen? Will you be coming here from Anambra just because of her?” “No but you can invite her for small holiday at our lodge since you live alone.” “Why don’t you invite Amara over then I will invite her.” “I will rather invite my mother than invite Amara,” I said. Chinemelum walked in on us. I saw a different side of her beauty, one I couldn’t find in her parents. She brought us breakfast on the bed. We were really kinging and the icing on the cake for me was having a queen like her serve me on my bed, James’s bed actually. The wedding mas* was for 10 am. Everyone of note left before them, Chinemelum inclusive, to my utter dismay. The house turned up boring so we decided to go to church, if for nothing, at least for photoshoots. So with my red tux, it was a wedding mas* so Romance was in the air, my skinny pencil and black Italian shoes toe match, James was on something similar too. It was our uniform sort of. We strolled off to church, it was a walkable distance. The time was 11:30 am when we got there. The priest was already on his way to concluding the entire affair. We both sat at the back of everyone. We had a vantage view of the church and the choir girls mostly. “See that girl?” James whispered to me, pointing to the direction of the choir girls. “That one with big b**bss?” I asked. “No, the one on skimpy skirt.” “Hian, all those choir girls are on skimpy skirts naa.” “No, that one with Chinaza’s kind of laps.” “James abeg, don’t start comparing my Naza with your village girls.” He Pointed the girls out to me and I checked her out. She was cute and dark and fresh like pumpkin. “Ehe? What about her?” “She go fit you,” he told me. “I know but I only do dark girls who are exceptional,” I said. “She is exceptional.” “How?” “She will save you from me.” “Which kind saving?” I asked, switching stares between him and the girl. “You need saving from me because I will poison you if you try any rubbish with Chinemelum. Just take that girl in her place,” he said. He wasn’t smiling but I can tell when James was joking. He was joking shaa. But then the girl looked cute though and from where she was sitting, I could tell she had that potential of being very curvy. I imagined myself hitting it off with the girl after the wedding mas* and going home to a savory Chinemelum. I loved the idea and it was worth risking James’s poison. “Will you introduce me to her?” I asked. “Sure, only if you promise not to look at Chinemelum twice again.” “I swear.” “Swear with your life,” he said and I shot my eyes at him. “Haba guy, easy naa, like say those other girls you dy tidy are not people’s Junior sister.” “I know what I am doing. You that is always doing magic with girls, I don’t want you to do magic with her.” “I cannot swear with my life abeg, what if we get drunk again and something happens? I can’t swear abeg.” “Then I will poison you.” Fast forward to the wedding photoshoot. I was all over Chinemelum. Our hands on each other as the flashes came. We had a groupie, We had our personal, one which James was dictating to us where to hold each other. If he had his way, we would have been taking the pictures at a perfect 10m distance between us. And we had the one which James stood in between us. It was as fun as fun can get. Their entourage drove home while I walked with James, just as we had come. I made sure the girls around had enough reason to ogle at me and they did. Into the house and the reception started. We ate and kept the drinks aside. We needed to be sober to be helpful. Things moved swiftly and a lot was cramped into the reception so it’s details would be bulky, I am leaving them out. Our Job mostly was to help those intending to spray money on the dancing couple get change for that purpose. I and James. We made quite a sum of money from it. Don’t ask me how, we weren’t stealing them tho, but we did make money. We were far gone into the whole thing when I remembered Chinemelum. I searched around for her but couldn’t find her then I remembered the kitchen. I left James as he stood at a spot, looking for potential customers who would like to change their money. Into the kitchen I went and there was my fair lady, watching and rinsing ceramic plates. Her mom was around and I couldn’t possibly drag her out of there myself. I stood at a distance from them for what seemed like 72 hours, hoping and praying she would look my way, then she did and our eyes smiled at each other. I nodded and pointed back inside, she seemed to understand my sign language and smiled at me, this time around with her lips and those her dimples knocked me out. I stood imagining those lips on mine. I believed it would taste like strawberry. I ran back inside, into our room to wait for her. I pas*ed the door, threw the curtain open and walked inside to meet our whole lodge there. Well it was just Shape, Willie and Chinecherem, James too. Willie was already on one bottle of Heineken and was grinning ear to ear at me. Shape was clutching his hand and smiling at me. The the gate crasher, the party spoiler, Chinecherem. She ran straight at me with her open hands and landed straight on me. “Baby!” she yelled as she hugged me deeply, destroying my cheeks with pecks. Just then, Chinemelum walked in, wiping her wet hands against her blouse.

    EPISODE 35

    “So Emelum meet my people,” I muttered, ushering her into the room. There was nothing else I could do. Chinecherem just attached herself to my arms while I introduced her. “Meet Willie, he is my elder brother,” I said and Willie pas*ed her a drunk smile. “This one is shape sorry, Chinaza. Our very good friend.” shape said hello and waved. Chinemelum smiled back. “And this one is James, my friend. I think he is your brother.” Everyone laughed. “And this one here is my kid sister, Chinecherem.” Everyone threw me that shocked look. Willie just smiled. He prolly knew that a niggar will say anything to keep his game tight. “Keep quiet,” I hushed Chinecherem as she tried to protest. I wasn’t going to mess up what I was building with Chinemelum over some quickie I had with her back at school. “And guys, this is Chinemelum, James last born,” I capped the introduction.” “As in, James born am and she is his last child?” Willie asked, dropping the bottle of beer on the floor. “No, her mother’s last born,” I explained. “Wooo, James your sister is so cute,” Shape exclaimed and she blushed. Chinecherem left me and went back to her seat beside James. She held onto him and threw her face out of my eyes. I understood she was trying to maybe get me jealous but I had never been happier. “I hope you have not been talking to him,” Shape asked Chinemelum pointing at me. “What for?” I asked in protest. “Well, he is sort of everything that your brother is,” she said and those who understood her meaning laughed. I wouldn’t let shape finish what Chinecherem started so I dragged Chinemelum out of the room before she rubbishes whatever goodwill I had left. “Did I mention that Chinecherem is my junior sister?” I asked her as we made our way out of the streams of human beings to a secluded spot. A spot close to where I had vomited last night. “Yes you did, are you twins?” she asked. “No, why do you ask?” “You both bear the same name.” “What? We do?” I asked, frisking my memory for a lie. She nodded. “Well, I always give people I care about my name as a pet name,” I lied. A terrible lie but she didn’t complain. “So what is her own name?” she asked as I squeezed her fingers. “You can call her Chinecherem Junior for now.” She nodded and I smiled. Straight to why I called her out. I was looking for the words to describe what I wanted to say, I found none. Something inside me was telling me to hold it on until I have had something to drink, maybe a boost of my morale would help but then, I wanted to seize that opportunity. Her little pink lips was giving me a technical knockout and so I much wanted to attach my lips to thems. “You owe me a kiss right?” I asked all of a sudden. She smiled and nodded. “You have nice lips and you are beautiful too,” I stated and brought up her face to my eye level. The white of her eyes were bright like the clouds. “The first time I saw you, I liked everything about you and I fell in love with you and I was hoping you will like me too.” I didn’t wait for her to tell me if she did or not. I brought her closer and our lips clicked. Her lips did taste like strawberry but I have to confess that she was quite inexperienced at that art of kissing. She let her teeth get in the way and my tongue usually met a dead end with the teeth. I wished I could teach her how to do it properly but time happened to be a luxury we couldn’t afford. I upped the romance and pinned her against me. Both our eyes shut, we put in our everything into that kiss, my hands frisking her lower part of the body while she just stood like a tree. I have never been so frustrated kissing a girl but I let it slide, her beauty was enough to compensate me. I only left it at kissing. I walked back into the room and she walked back to her plates. I was guessing we were both happy but I wasn’t much satisfied. She had awakened that urge in me and I needed to quench it. I prayed Chinecherem would even look my way. I was only going to beg for an experienced kiss. Our room was empty when I got back in and it wasn’t so hard to guess where they had all gone. An oriental music was blasting away out the front of the house. I walked out there and met them killing it on the dance floor. A drunk Willie taking the lead while the bride groom dabbed after him. The bride was at the corner laughing her day away. I fell into rhythm and found myself behind shape. It was a free for all dance and we enjoyed it like you would enjoy an awoof. The dance floor was lit and money flew at us like hailstorm. Shape didn’t conceal her backside from me as she let me have it all. She rocked me out of space and nearly opened my tap of jizz but I wasn’t a one minute man, thanks to that. Then, along came Chinecherem with her perfect as*, she still nursed her grudge but she couldn’t resist the guy in me, the one that was driving her crazy. She came at me with full force and I let her in. She stooped with her backside on my crotch and I stooped after her. She made a 360° whine and I followed suit, then we did a repeat and another repeat followed by more repetitions. She then turned to face me and was coming for a kiss when the music ended. I stopped her and we all fell out of the dance floor back into our rooms. Drinks came out and we went down on them. Somehow, someway, a bottle of life managed to find it’s way into Chinecherem’s hand. She had drained half of the bottle before we ever took notice. Shape was going to hammer her but Willie stepped in for her, he said after all, it was for the last time. So we let her finish the one bottle she had opened, which wasn’t easy as Willie had downed three bottles while she was still battling with one. Me, I was only busy trying to figure out what I was going to do with Chinemelum. She crawled to where I was and sat beside me, her hands on my lap. I’v always known how dangerous a drunk girl can be but I too was drunk and had forgotten about that. “Do you want more?” I asked and being as tipsy as she was, she took the drink from my hand and gulped it, choked on it and threw up half of it across the room. “Chinecherem!” shape yelled. I was confused on which Chinecherem she was actually yelling. She rushed at us and snatched the bottle from her hand. I don’t know, maybe I was expecting her to smash the bottle on the floor, well, she gulped the rest of it’s content. I was midway into laughing at her when Chinecherem shut me up with a kiss. In the full glare of everyone. Worst still, Chinemelum was standing at the door, our foods in a tray she was carrying. I can’t say that I hated the kiss but it came at a wrong time.  Eating replaced the tongue lashing that would have followed but not without Shape stuffing Chinecherem in between her and Willie, she was trying to secure her from me. If only she knew that Willie was more threat than I was. Well shaa, what is my own in it. Chinemelum was a bad kisser but I still liked her like that. She was too beautiful to be faulted and James was eyeing me with threats of poison if I ever followed her out again. I think he was glad that Chinemelum caught Chinecherem kissing me. Well, if I had a sister like her, I don’t think I would threaten James with poison over her, I would just poison him without warning. Sorry for the delay folks, have been busy at everything and Chinaza called me that she was already on labor and felt like the baby would drop on the floor any moment soon. Well, I got to her lodge and she told me she was only joking, she wanted to know how much I cared and also needed me to buy banana for her at the junction that led into her lodge. The pregnancy was only 6 months gone. I don’t blame her, the fault was mine for not counting. Well, all was not lost at that wedding shaa. Willie drove them home but not after I had secretly gotten that perfect kiss from Chinecherem. The rest of the evening was spent brushing my skin against Chinemelum, telling each other the tales of our lives and the icing on the cake was that James was around, teasing us. Well it was all convenient because he had landed himself a heavy girl earlier at the wedding. She was one of his sister’s ashebi girls and she was beautiful but not my kind of beautiful. So he was happy and had forgotten totally about the poison thing. Chinemelum drank a glas* of the gold slug and got tipsy. She made me teach her how to kiss and she was a slow learner but she did learn and I was glad to teach her. A bit of fingering happened in our room, while James was away. She was wet all over. I couldn’t bring myself to shag her. I thought she was too beautiful to be used by someone like me. Neither of us slept. We spent the rest of the night talking nonsense. Two drunk lovers, sitting under a canopy, hidden in the darkness and sharing one mug of palm wine. If I ended up finding nothing of interest in that town, Chinemelum made up for all of them. I had hopes. She wrote jamb and unlike my baby bear, she pas*ed well and was hopeful. She wanted to join her brother in Unizik and when I told her I was schooling there too, she then made it two reasons she must be in unizik. I was like Chinaza prepare o, you are about to have a rival. Straight to the gossip of the day. Eva was getting married. Please check the calendar. It’s not April 1. Evangeline is f**king getting married. I don’t think she was trying to get back at me or whatever. She had shown me the guy and he was cute. He had cash and I was looking forward to my bang mates wedding. She didn’t invite me though. She told me but she wasn’t going to invite me. “So now that you are gone from me, who will do me the way you use to do me?” I asked her the day we were smooching in my room. Shape wasn’t around to interrupt. “I don’t know but shebi you know I won’t cheat on him. He is so cute and a darling,” she said to me and pecked me out of excitement. She was deliberately avoiding my lips. She was getting married and so was trying to put a stop to our adventure. I couldn’t wait for Chinaza to deliver, with Chinecherem gone and Eva getting married, there was no one else to f**k. I needed a new girl and I set out in search for one. It wasn’t like I was going around the whole place with a placard on my chest advertising for a girlfriend vacancy. I just kept my eyes open. Exams were fast approaching and I found myself reading in bits from time to time. On a given day, I was deceiving myself in the library, flipping through my Facebook and my handouts as well. Then along came Cynthia, looking wonderful, I noticed that Cynthia was like the devil, you could only resist her in prayers but not in real life. I invited her to sit with me. She was shinning in her natural states. She came to read as well so we read each other. “Where have you been?” I asked and she smiled. “Have you been looking for me?” she asked and I nodded. She smiled again. “But you don’t like inviting me to your lodge.” “Well, my girl is unpredictable, she can even walk in here now,” I said. “Well, you should come to my lodge.” I thought about it, it seemed nice but I was comfortable in home matches where the pitch is mine and I was conversant with the terrain. Cynthia was a play girl no doubt and her body count might even make mine weep and I didn’t need a repeat of that night at that muscled guy’s house where I preached my konji away. I decided I may like that shag her for a night but I shouldn’t keep her as a regular girl. And that was what I did. She made me a nice indomie and added Amstel Malt to it and made me cum it all out almost immediately. And then I continued my search. As an Estate Manager, I was learning to have eyes on properties with very good potentials and this discipline I spread out to other endeavors of my life, like girls with potentials of being very beautiful with the right touch. I found one around my faculty. I loved her instantly and her figure was the numero 8. She wore some casual type of dresses that hid her as*ets but a nigga like me knew she had them and I went for her. She was dark tho but I didn’t mind. Chinaza won’t deliver anytime soon and Eva was getting married. I walked up to her one day. She seemed quiet and the type you could easily force a smile out of. “Cynthia?” I called her and she looked at me with a frown. “Sorry, shey your name is Cynthia?” I asked. I didn’t even know her name but that was better than walking up to a girl and asking for her name straight up. She shook her head and continued giving me the “Do-I-Know-You” look. “Sorry, I thought it was your name,” I said and sat beside her. “What is that your name again?” I asked. “Why do you ask?” “Well, I thought I knew you from somewhere but maybe I am wrong but if I knew your name then I won’t call you something else. Or should I give you a name?” I asked. She nodded with a smile. “Beauty,” I said and she laughed. “See, you are blushing already,” I said. More laughter from her. Nice, we were blending in. “What is your own name?” she asked after she had stopped laughing. “Beast. Call me beast like beauty and the beast.” She started again, Jeez, I didn’t even know I was that funny. Few minutes after, I was abandoning my lecture and following her to hers. Nobody was surprised, everyone knew I had that player factor in me. Eva was inviting me over with her eyes but I was a bachelor. I have no business with married women. So inside that lecture hall, I was the odd one out. Everyone seemed to be understanding except me. Well I kept myself busy with Beauty’s fingers. She let me have them and I loved holding onto it. She knew how to smile and I loved girls like that and by the time the clas* ended, we were two meters away from being couples. Yes, I had that Charisma. “So will you be coming to school tomorrow?” I asked and she shook her head. I myself had clas*es the next day but I was willing to sacrifice it all for her. “Maybe you should come around to my place, see how I live?” “I don’t know if I will have the chance,” she replied. “Don’t worry, you will. Can I have your number?” I asked and popped out my Nokia torch. It rang almost immediately and Queen was written on the caller interface. I hid it away from her and busied the call. Chinaza had this attitude of showing up when she was not needed. I had barely opened up my dialer when her call came in again, haa, Chinaza! I busied it again and took Beauty’s numbers before Naza will come and call again. “My name is Chidimma,” she said and I stored the number with Mma, an equivalent of Beauty in Igbo. I am always right. I forced a hug out of her and we embraced deeply. I watched her go, swaying her fine hips out of my very face. I shook my head and turned to go. Another call from my queen came in. I picked. “Baby yo, how are you doing?” I yelled into the speaker, garnering some attention from around. “I am not doing anything, why have you been cutting my calls?” “I was in the clas* sweetheart, sorry.” “Sorry nke gi, come and open the door for me abeg.” “Naza are you in my lodge?” I asked. “No I am in your house,” she replied and cut the call. Did I mention that Naza had the attitude of showing up when she was not needed?

    EPISODE 36

    Chinecherem had forgotten her Bible, true to her words and it was in my room. I didn’t even know and Chinaza roasted me for it. “I didn’t see it because I wasn’t looking for it. How would I know that Chinecherem even had a bible?”I protested, still wondering how the Bible got to be in my room. I had never opened a bible with her before. Chinecherem wasn’t giving a reasonable explanation, she was all about the indomie and how nice it was to see us guys again. “Or are you trying to say that there is something else behind that Bible being in my room?” I asked trying to play the righteous one and shooting myself in the leg while at it. “I am not saying anything o. It’s just that I have never come into your room any day to see James cap or singlet or even pen that he had forgotten but it’s either I see a girl’s forgotten g-string or it’s another girls Bible,” Chinaza chirped out nonchalantly. James faked a yawn and Willie let out his signature grin. Shape adjusted where she sat on the bed and only Chinecherem laughed. “Pant kwa? Tell me about it,” Shape asked, cupping her chin with her hand. “Yes o, gist us,” Willie supported. I waded in, that tape was too unsavory and I wouldn’t like it to be played. “We were talking about indomie before,” I chipped in and shape hushed me. “The indomie can wait, this upcoming story dy totori me well well,” she said and kept staring at Naza. Naza shot me a look and saw how restless I was. She was my baby and she could read me. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing actually. Neche go and make indomie. We are hungry,” she finally said. Shape hissed. I didn’t grumble about the indomie or complain about the number of people that were lined up to stuff their stomach at my expense. I just ran into the kitchen before Naza would entertain them with that unsexy tale of us and Cynthia’s Pant. The carton of indomie came down from top of the wardrobe and another problem surfaced. I had just enough pot to cook three packs of indomie, the bachelor’s type of pot. I had 5 half adults with the guys among them having the average capacity to consume three packs and still ask for more. “You should just cook in batches, cook three first for the ladies. They would eat together, then cook another three for me, then you can cook three for you and James.” That was Williams giving me suggestions. He got tongue lashed for it. Even shape chopped him up too. After running back and forth and everything, we adopted his plan. We chatted while the noodles boiled and when the first three packs cooked, the ladies set on it, eating it like typical ladies. Willie excused himself and went outside. He came back in with a tin of sardine and three raw eggs. “This is for my own, you guys can only look at it once, the second look will blind you,” he declared and dumped it on the table. The girls whispered to each other and giggled. The next three packs of indomie soon cooked and was garnished all round with sumptuous eggs and sardines. Willie gently set it on the floor. He closed his eyes and said his one second prayer. “Plus Jesus, Minus Satan,” he said and the girls yelled out a loud amen, louder than his own and before he could dig his fork into the steaming noodles, the girls had already surrounded him on the floor and were rolling out noodles. The first things to go were the eggs, then the bits of fishes followed suit. I swear I have never seen Willie look so tearful, not even the look on his face the day my mother sold his brand new Playstation 2 to the junk collectors for 200 naira thinking it was my grandfather’s old gramophone could compare to the look he had on his face at that moment. He had bought that game for 20,000 naira. It was like the girls had raped the indomie and left it bare afterwards. He couldn’t complain because his Shape was among the Raiders. Chinaza was there so I just kept mute but I swear I wasn’t laughing, I felt the pain too. James however let it rain. They left the food for him and went back to the bed. Only Chinecherem stayed back. She loved food. “Naza, I thought you loved me?” Willie managed to ask shape. “Of course I do, my problem with you is that you don’t love me enough. You watched me eat my own indomie without even crayfish and you just sat there now you want to eat yours with egg and sardines,” she replied and rolled her eyes. “And you had to bring your family along?” he asked, referring to Naza and Chinecherem. While he was complaining, Chinecherem had managed to divide the rest of the food into three equal parts and had eaten up two of those three parts. He had to chase her away and manage the rest. Then when ours came down from the fire, he had to join us. “Ehe baby, remember tomorrow is 19th,” Chinaza told me. I had forgotten actually. “What about 19th?” I asked. “Your birthday naa, we need to make cake, cook food and dance and dance,” she replied jiggling her body. Another wahala. Where will the money for that one come from? I asked myself. “Wow, Neche tomorrow is your birthday?” Shape asked with a broader than broad smile. I bet she was imagining the party for it. I nodded and sucked in my indomie. “Ada we will invite a lot of girls too,” Willie added. Shape eyed him. “What for?” she and Chinaza asked in unison. “To help you make the cake,” he said and hissed. The girls hissed back. “Look at their jealous faces, as if you don’t know that it’s girls that bring life to the party,” he said and hissed again. If the party was going to hold and we were going to play music, we sure needed some chics to dance since naza obviously can’t walk erect talk more of twerking to my taste. “And we need food too, lots of fried rice,” Chinecherem said. “And drinks too,” James added. “Yea, and drinks,” Willie backed him up. Chinaza stood up and threw her hands in the air, stopped low and shook her backside a little. It was dope in a way. Then she yelled, “Yay! It’s my sweetheart’s birthday tomorrow and We gon party, yeah, we gon have a party!” she twisted Chris Brown’s “Party”. Everybody joined her except me. The party was on my pocket as well. And here I was thinking she is incapacitated in terms of twerking. You guys should come and have a look at what she is doing. Singing My baby sweet o. I woke up before anyone else and threw the blanket over Chinaza, then she fell into a deeper realm of sleep. Just what I needed. I was broke and needed to pocket draining birthday party. I gropped around the bed in the darkness, searching for my phone. I managed not to trip over my pregnant better half and found my phone tucked beside her. I picked it and check the time. 6:45 am. I hurried into the bathroom and hurried a bath. I dressed up in few minutes and crawled out of the room without a sound. Once outside, I took in a deep breath and headed for the gate, just then… “Hey, Chinecherem, happy birthday,” Angela, our petite but curvy lodge mate screamed from behind me. I turned and saw her in her night gown, clutching her tooth brush. The last time I threw a birthday party for myself in that lodge, everyone had the fun of their life and it was all booze and romance so I guess non of them could ever forget that my birthday is always on 19th June. I hugged her and whispered a thank you. “So how’s it gonna be?” she asked me, brushing her flowing b**bss against me, for a moment my prick almost hardened. “I don’t know what you are talking about o, I am going for clas*es now o,” I said and she pulled away. “That one is your business, don’t get me my own share of the cake and see what I will do to you,” she said and turned to go. “Don’t worry baby, I would so much love you to do something to me,” I said, licking my lips and gauging her swinging backside that often makes me wonder how a tiny girl like her could manage to amas* such mas*ive backside. “Naughty boy,” she laughed and ran inside her room. I smiled and turned to go, then my Mrs right interrupted me. “Where are you going?” Chinaza asked drowsily, leaning against the door and yawning. “I have an early morning lecture,” I said and gave her my seductive smile. “And you had to sneak out eh?” “No, I thought you would be tired and I wouldn’t like to bother you,” I said and she gave me that look your mother will often give you when you are deceiving yourself. “Okay o, go and come back, you will meet me here,” she said and turned to go inside. “Bae, no kissy huggy?” I asked and spread my hands. “Kissy fire, go joor,” she replied and waved me off with her hand. “Baby it’s my birthday o, don’t start a fight.” She smiled and came at me, fully loaded with her b**bss and the baby bump. She buried herself into me and I strapped her like a bra would strap a firm tit. “Happy birthday sweetheart,” she moaned and I kissed her forehead. “Thanks baby.”

    EPISODE 37

    I strolled into the department and sat under a shade. We had no clas*es and I knew about it. I would have spent the entire day with Chinaza if only she didn’t bring up the party thing. But I was going to make a useful use of a useless situation. I still had my ebony crush to tackle. I looked at my wrist watch and the time was 8:10. I opened my contact list and picked out Mma, pressed the dial keypad and put the phone to my ear. The next voice that came up was the Mtn girl’s. She was telling me that my account was too law to call Mma. I was furious. I knew I had close to 35 naira balance in that phone the last time I made a call. I was going to swear for Mtn when I remembered that Chinaza was with my phone all through the night. I checked my last called numbers and no new numbers were there. Then I checked my outbox and it was there, killer messages that nearly ran me mad. “Hello sweetheart, I hope you remember my birthday is tomorrow, 19th June. Come to my lodge for the party. I would be mad if you missed it. Yours sweet, Chinecherem.” That was the message and Chinaza had sent a copy each to 5 of the girls in my phone. The ones that were a little high on my food chain. Cynthia them. I decided that was it. I wasn’t going home that day. I was busy mourning for landing myself a reckless girl such as Naza when the sun crept out of my cloud. She walked straight to me and stooped to drop a bomby hug on me, burning off my chest with her firm nipples. “My love,” I gasped, staring into her eyes dreamily. Anyone would think I was 100% in love but I knew it was 40% love and 60% lust. “How are you today?” she asked, sitting near me and dropping her hot hand on my laps. “I am okay, just missing you,” I said and she flashed me a smile, sucking in her dimples. “You didn’t call me again,” she said and I remembered I was supposed to call her after I had taken her number. Chinaza had spoilt everything. “Sorry dear, I was still planning to.” Silence fell and I started thinking of how to relay my thoughts to her. We took occasional glances at each other and pas*ed occasional smiles. Gosh, Mma is damn cute. Not beautiful but cute. There is a difference between the two and I preferred the cuteness. “Do you have any lecture now?” I asked and she nodded. “As in now now?” I asked again and she nodded again. “Then why are you here?” I asked thinking she was feeling my sauce so much she didn’t want to let go. “Well, I don’t want you to follow me into the clas*room like the last time,” she said and my heart broke. “Why?” “It’s hard to learn anything when you are around.” “Oya go but come back here when you are done o.” She stood up and rubbed my cheek. “Today is my birthday,” I whispered to her and she stood rooted. “Why didn’t you say early enough?” she asked after stripping me naked with her eyes. “Wanted to surprise you and I need a present from you,” I said and she sat back down. “What present would you like?” She asked. “You,” I said. “Why me?” she asked. “Because I have been crushing on you for a long time and I am almost crushing you to death.” “But I only got into this school last semester,” she said. “Oh, is that so?” “Yes and I haven’t even seen you until that first time you came to me.” Well, I think I saw you in my dreams first and since then, I have been crushing.” She smiled and covered her face. “So please, gift yourself to me,” I said. She kept looking at me and not saying a word. “Are you shy?” I asked and she nodded. “Then I will as*ume you wanted to say yes. I accept you,” I winked at her and she let out those little cute girly giggle. I as*umed I was right. “Let’s go to the library,” she said after a while. “I thought you had clas*?” “I have changed my mind, I am not going again.” We moved and I was more than eager to wrap my arms around her and I just did that. So with her hands by her side and mine around her waist, we walked to the library. We actually didn’t read. She was right, she could hardly focus when I am around. I was all over her. If the library had security, they sure would have driven us out. I did everything to her there except kiss and f**k her and something told me she was liking it. We left when we realized we weren’t ready to read. She dragged me willingly to her logde. She lived with two of her other friends but they weren’t around when we got there. “I didn’t cook,” she said and threw her bag on her reading table. “Don’t worry, I won’t eat anything that is not cake on my birthday,” I said and she gasped a thank God. “Don’t thank him yet, you look like a birthday cake,” I said. “So?” she asked. “I want to eat you,” I said and sat on the bed. She giggled and tossed a teddy bear that was on the table at me. “Come here,” I said and motioned at her with my head. She moved towards me sluggishly and I pulled her on the bed. She fell into my hands and I held at an angle that gave me the full rights to every kissable part of her body, her b**bss inclusive but I went with the mouth. She obliged me and shut her eyes, our tongues colliding like Pharoah and Moses’s snakes. I loved the sound our lips made as they clicked. She pulled away after a while and smiled into my eyes. “Is that enough cake?” She asked and I shook my head. “I just licked off the icing. I need the whole cake,” I said, smiling suggestively. “You are greedy,” she said and laughed hard. “I am always greedy with the things I love,” I said. “I love you too,” she said and just as we were about to Seal our lips again, her room mate bumped in, Eva tagging behind her. “Haa, Chinecherem? You couldn’t even wait for me to marry and you have already dumped me,” Eva yelled and I thought “Which kind wahala be this naa?”. Her companion threw me a smile and I smiled back. Eva teased me nearly to tears and the ladies thought it was funny. Her teasing didn’t make Mma leave my arms tho. She was so soft and I wished we could spend the rest of the day like that. I thought she was the best birthday gift I have ever gotten and then I remembered that head Chinaza gave me a long time ago. Well, I decided she was my second best birthday gift. “Ehe, Neche. I saw your invitation to your birthday party o. I’m gon be there to flex,” Eva yelled as I was about to leave. “A birthday party?” Mma asked and her friend looked on, probably hoping for an invitation too. “Didn’t you tell her?” shape asked. “You have to follow us there o, it’s your new boyfriend’s birthday afterall.” Then I thought, has Chinaza not killed me already? I would have taken a rope into the bush if I wasn’t reminiscing about that kiss with Mma, I also remembered Chinecherem and my Chinemelum. I realized I had so much at stake to commit suicide. Chinaza would have to continue trying out other methods of killing me, I won’t leave all these sweet girls in a hurry unless God bribes me with a promise of more of them in heaven like the 72 virgins. It was all a gang up! My birthday party was a f**king gang up!!!! ******** “She want a niggar with them gold slugs, gold slugs. I’m grilling and and I’m f**king at the same time, grilling and f**king at the same time……. ” We were all singing along to the mega noise in my room. Chinaza’s voice rose clearly above all others, she was drunk and so was everybody else. I had gotten home and saw my bed leaning against the wall. I was afraid I was being thrown out of my room until I remembered Naza was around and only a crazy girl like her could do that shit. I compiled all the anger I was nursing against those invitation text messages she had sent to those girls and added it to the anger I had on seeing my expensive high rise mattress outside and I was going into the house to set her on fire but ended up running into her awaiting arms. She sang me the happy birthday song with backup from all the babes in my lodge and went on to sing, “You are 22 years today,” bearing my as* to the world and in front of that final year chic I told I was clocking 26. My room was like a party house, spacious and the smell of nice food was everywhere. I didn’t even know what to say neither did I get to say what I know. The girls bombarded me with hugs and pecks with Naza taking the lead. In my kitchen was a cooler of well cooked fried rice and there was a bit of Chicken! In it. There was a CAKE too. I turned to my baby and fell in love like Daniel fell into the lions then. I lifted her off the ground and swirled her around. Damn she was heavy. I then checked my phone in case of any bank withdrawal alerts and made sure my atm card was intact before I lifted her up again. She had done all that with her money. I sure knew then and there that I had a 200 yards of wife material. I checked my fridge and it was filled to the brim with Heineken. I needed no sooth sayer to tell me that it was Willies handwork. I fell on the bed and stared at Naza like kids would stare at a super hero. “Happy birthday baby!” Shape yelled and came at me with all her bombardments. She fell on me with kisses and hugs. “Sweetheart, did you see what my baby had done?” I asked excitedly. “Yes o, I told you you are a lucky guy,” shape replied. Willie came back around 6 pm with another crate of Heineken and some of his guys. The music went on and my room became a swarm of party lovers. The food showed up first, hot and very tasty. Everyone asked for more. Then everyone got drunk and got tipsy. James started forming DJ with the remote. My home theater was a mad loud and the bas* could melt the heart and harden the dick. I took over the dance floor first and did a little of my own thing. Naza came next and rocked the balls out of me. Then everyone joined us. The party was lit for me, the thing I had almost avoided was turning to something different for me. I was loving the whole thing until Chinaza’s guests started arriving. I call them her guests because she invited them. Cynthia came in first around 8 pm. Then Eva came in, dragging in Mma and her room mate. Shape was coordinating the guests amidst constant distractions from a drunk Willie. Eva came straight for me and hugged the gush out of me. I felt her body in 3d while Naza kept watching from a far end. She was somehow the centre of attraction as everyone imagined at her bulky stomach and what she was doing at a party like that. A chitty chatty shape kept telling them she was the celebrant wife. James was busy rocking with every girl around to my envy. I couldn’t join him in that since I had my baby around with her eyes hovering over me like an anointing. Mma kept smiling at me from afar. I had given her a secret kiss the moment she came in and excused myself. “James abeg, hook up with that girl for me, distract her attention from me,” I told him and he nodded eagerly. “James, don’t take it serious, she is my new girl and I love her.” “I don hear guy. Nothing go happen,” he said and left to meet up with her. I was willing to play that game with Chinaza. I ran to Willie and made him hook his guys up with every single girl Chinaza had invited with my phone. That was how I won or I thought I did. Chinaza always has her way of outsmarting me. The music was killed and everywhere went quiet. The next item on the list. Cutting the cake. I was surrounded by everyone, knife in hand and cake on the table. “Make a wish dear,” shape said and I closed my eyes and made my wish. I wished God would make Naza less troublesome and blew off the candle. I was going to cut the cake but Shape stopped me. “You will cut the cake with your soulmate,” she declared and Chinaza stepped forward. She stood beside me with her bulging stomach as I dropped my face to the floor. I felt like I had been put up before a firing squad. “See, I wish you two a happy union, love, affection, a bouncing baby boy…. ” “I want a girl,” I murmured. “and may this beautiful union end up in a sweet marriage in the future,” Shape yelled and a thunderous clap followed. “Kiss the bride please,” James yelled. I eyed him and he winked at me, dropping his hand on Mma’s shoulder. I bit my lips and felt a heart attack. James my friend had sold me over a girl. “It’s a birthday party not a wedding party,” I protested and shape shot me daggers with her eyes. I plucked up Naza’s lips and we both shut our eyes as everyone clapped. They had won, her and shape. Every girl I had ever wanted will now know that I am not single, that I have a very beautiful and cute girlfriend who is pregnant for me too. I needed a rope, I thought. “You see why you guys need a good girl in your life,” shape yelled. “if it was a party organized by a guy alone, you will all drink and kill yaselfs. But this one, she even cooked food. Fried rice and Chicken!”. Everyone yelled and clapped.

    EPISODE 38

    I had to admit that I don’t feel much comfortable going home, not with the knowledge that there are now two fathers in the house, my father and I. And knowing my father for who he is, I had the feeling that he may wake up one day and decide to split the house allowance between me and him, not withstanding that Chinaza was still pregnant with the baby. My mom and hunger eventually forced me home shaa. Remember Chinaza had cooked all my rice for that birthday so no food in the house. “Nna m, this one that you refused to come home and see us, nawa o. This one is that you are at Unizik at our backyard here, I wonder what will happen if you eventually travel to Obodo oyinbo,” my mother said as we sat in the parlor watching film, my father was flipping through the pages of a sports newspaper. I smiled at my mother. “Maybe he already has a family at his lodge,” my father chipped in and cleared his throat. My mother eyed him and said nothing. “So they pay these footballers all this money in a week?” my father asked to know one in particular and no one answered him. “If I had known I would have sent this baby bush abroad to play ball and get us some dollars instead of wasting money and sending him to the University only for him to come back with babies,” he murmured again to himself and the whole room cracked up with violent laughter. “Daddy, forget that thing, I am graduating with a first clas* o,” Willie said and my mother said amen. “I will sell this house and host a party for you with the money if that one happens,” my father said without even raising his face from the paper. He was obviously joking, Willie graduate with a first clas*? For where? If that happens then there are also chances that Naza will agree to abort the baby, in fact, We are praying he doesn’t bag 3 extra years. My mother stood up and went upstairs. “Ehe, when are you people closing for the semester?” my father asked us. “Soon,” Willie replied. “You people should do fast, your mother needs someone to help her with running of that her shop,” he said and we stared at each other, I and Willie. “But what about Mercy, her sales girl,” Willie asked “Oh, that one. I think she is fine with that her face like what I don’t know. The little waist that she has which was the only beautiful place in her body, she has lost that one too. I wonder who will marry her like that,” he said and turned to the next page of the newspaper. I stifled a laughter. Mercy wasn’t that bad, infact, I had often dreamt about having a go at her. That her as* my father was talking about was way out of this Africa. It can make a grown man cry. “Dad I meant if she is no longer working there,” Willie said. “Oh, she left already naa. I think she is now in school, why are you asking?” “Nothing,” I and Willie said together. Making a conversation with my father atimes can burn more calories than banging a fat girl. “Ehe you. I hope you are changing into a man now. Soon you will be a father, shebi you know?” my father asked, staring at me over the rim of his spectacle. I so much dreaded that topic. “And you should start acting mature too, grow a beard and others,” Willie added. My father shot him a look. “You with all that forest on your chin, I can’t see any atom of maturity in you,” he said at him. “At least, I look mature,” Willie muttered. “You look like a baby bush,” my father said as I drowned Willie with laughter. Later in the evening, Amara came back and walked straight into my room. A friend of hers was tagging along but I was able to make out only her before she rushed me on the bed, yelling baby. She hugged me deeply and her b**bss caressed my chest. She was looking all smart and sexy in her school uniform which she had converted the once bogus skirt to a tight mini, her hot laps dangling in my face. She sat on my laps and kissed me. I held her head and prolonged the kiss. Then my door squeaked and I saw Chidimma standing there. Yea Chidimma, the girl that I had a romp with at that primary school. She is the one. I froze and stared at her. Amara looked at my face and then at hers. “Don’t worry, she is my friend,” she said and rubbed my chest. “I know, she is my friend too,” I said and she giggled. Bad girls turn me on really. She was pretty in her low cut hair and neat school uniform. Her curves were obvious in it and I wished they would oblige me a 3some. “Chidimma come inside naa,” I said, motioning her to sit down on the bed. She came and dropped her booty beside me. I wrapped my hand round her neck. “How have you been?” I asked her and she nodded a fine thank you. She was a bit shy. I pulled her head up and proceeded to kiss her. We were at it for like 5 seconds before Amara tore us apart. “It’s enough abeg,” she said and we laughed. My mother called Amara and she ran downstairs, leaving us behind. “Are you going to school tomorrow?” I asked Chidimma. “Yes,” she said and nodded. “I want you to come and see me tomorrow.” “I don’t think it’s possible, I will be going to school and we dismiss around 4:30 pm,” she said, leaning her head against me. “And you can’t sneak out?” I asked. “Unless that.” “Yea, sneak out and come by 2pm. I need to see you properly.” Our appointment was booked before Amara came to take her away. She didn’t want anybody spoiling our midnight fun. She came the next day in her uniform, around 1pm. I was home alone and my condom was ready. We told no tales. We both knew what we wanted and we went straight for it. There was no one around and so we were in no hurry. We began with foreplay, kissing and rubbing every rubbable part of our bodies. She had this way of fumbling with my dick that nearly made me cum before time. Before time, her uniform was on the ground already and her bra and pantie too. She was stark naked and I had only my boxers on. I laid her hard on the bed and started doing it just like I loved it. She closed her eyes as she felt the snake slither into her. She moaned softly and held my neck with both her hands. It was just missionary style all through until we came. We fell on the bed and I nearly fell asleep until I heard Chinaza’s voice calling me in dreamland. I opened my eyes and heard her footsteps climbing the stairs and the look on Chidimma’s face matched the furious pounding of my heart. I hid her in the wardrobe and locked the door a few seconds before Naza walked into my room. “I am just coming back from school,” she announced on entering my room. “Why are you back?” I asked her. “Nothing, don’t you know there is public holiday abi is that not why you are back too?” she asked. “Yea, it’s true,” I said, scratching my head. Then both our eyes went to the article of clothing on the floor. The school uniform, panties and bra. “Whose are they?” Chinaza asked, frowning. “Erm, Amara’s. She wanted me to help her wash them as she won’t be coming home early,” I said and thought about naked Chidimma in the wardrobe. “You now wash her undies too?” she asked me. “Me kwa? Wash Amara’s undies when I am not mad. I won’t wash them, in fact, I’m not even sure I will wash the uniform. I’m tired,” I said, trying to sound as bold as I could. “Noo, please help her wash them, you promised her baa?” Chinaza asked and I nodded. “you have to help her wash them.” I nodded and as*umed that was the end of it. She walked to the bathroom and took a peek inside. I thanked my God that I didn’t hide her in there. She then returned with a bucket of water and a satchet of detergent. Before I could understand what she was doing, the water was already foaming with the school uniform, pant, bra and everything inside it. “Wash them fast and come down to the parlor to keep me company, I bought this film that I need to watch,” she said and walked out of the room. My Jaw dropped to the floor. How could one girl be so mischievous. ****** “Who is that fair guy?” “I don’t know.” “I wonder if he is going to kill the other fair guy.” “I don’t know.” “I wasn’t asking you.” “Ok.” “Is like he will kill him o.” “Maybe, I don’t know.” She covers her eyes as sound of gunshots followed suit. The movie was American and everybody was fair. Everyone had a gun. Everyone was trying to kill everyone and Chidimma was still naked upstairs in my room. “Has he killed him?” “I don’t know, open your eyes and see.” “Which one do you even know?” “I know that you are frustrating me.” “Spell frustration.” “C – H – I – N – A – Z – A.” She laughed and nudged me on the rib. “You don’t even know how to spell my name.” “Eh? What did I spell?” “I don’t know but you misspelt it.” “C. H. I. N. A. Z. A., was that not what I spelt?” I asked and she kept quiet. She had taken over the ignoring game that I had started. That was a win for her. “Naza, why don’t we take your bags home so it will be easier for you when you eventually want to go,” I suggested. “No, I don’t want to go home now. My mom will be looking at me somehow. In fact, I may even sleep here,” she said and gauged my expression. I resisted the urge to scream. “Why is your face like that?” she asked and I looked at her. “Like how?” “Like I am about to catch you with another girl?” “Hian, biko, I don’t know what you are talking about o. Is like they are going to shoot that fair guy again,” I switched the topic and turned to the TV. “I thought you didn’t like the movie?” “I didn’t say that abeg. Chinaza let’s watch film.” We watched for a few minutes and then I excused myself and ran upstairs to my room. Chidimma was still in the wardrobe, but she had my knicker and my polo top on. We smiled at each other as I opened the wardrobe. “You look sexy,” I said and she smiled a thank you. Indeed she looked sexy in that knicker. I would have left it for her if Naza hadn’t bought them for me. “We are stuck here,” I said and scratched my head. “Who is she?” she asked me. “Who?” “The girl.” “My sister,” I said and she looked at me. “Is that not Chinaza?” she asked. “You know her and you are asking me.” “What is she doing here?” “She came to pick beans. Abeg lets find you a way out of here,” I said. “Which way?” “There is a back door at our dining room. You will follow it and get to the backyard but you will have to sneak out without making noise or she will catch you. Amara will get you your school uniform later.” She nodded and walked out of the wardrobe. “When will I see you again?” she asked and held me. “Let’s get you out of this one first, then we will start talking about next time.” “Should I come tomorrow?” she asked. “No, if I want you to come, I will tell you.” She hugged me and kissed me so deeply that I was forced to frisk her sexy body with my hands and almost took her to bed again. “Come and be going,” I said and she nodded. Pecking me, she was feverish with emotions. I was feverish with fears of being caught by Naza. “But first, I have to distract her before you sneak out.” I went back to Naza and sat beside her. “What were you doing upstairs?” “I went to masturbate,” I answered casually. She laughed. I walked to the door and bolted it. The devil in Naza might just decide to take her outside when Chidimma might be sneaking out. I sat on the chair and eyed Chinaza as she focused on the movie, hiding her face each time guns were raised. “Why can’t you just buy a film you like?” I asked. “Did I say I don’t like it?” she asked. “Then why are you covering your face?” “It’s just the shooting part that I don’t like. The Romance parts are ok and that’s why I bought it. Don’t you like it?” “I do. The Romance parts especially,” I said sizing her up with my eyes and biting my lips. “Shuku Shuku boy,” she said and smiled. “Are you calling me a fvck-boy?” I said and drew her closer. She actually let me and I plucked her lips. “I love you,” I murmured and kissed her in bits. “Are you sure you are not up to something?” she asked amidst giggles and kisses. “I’m up to love baby.” We kissed and missed many scenes on the movie. I didn’t care, Chinaza had a succulent lips and I needed Chidimma out of that house. I slid my hands around her body and felt her breast. She undid her bra herself and let me rub the tip. She moaned and held the nape of my neck. I caressed the tip of her tits and my phone blared. We disengaged immediately and across the parlor, standing at the dinning was Chidimma, staring at us. My phone kept ringing. “Hi,” she said and waved. My face turned red and Chinaza kept burning us with her eyes. “How far?” I asked. “I’m fine. Is Amarachi around?” she asked. Smart girl. “No, she’s not yet back from school.” “Sorry, who are you?” Chinaza intruded. “Chidimma, Amara’s friend,” she answered diligently and respectfully. A thing I wasn’t expecting. “Why did you have to come in through the back door?” “The front door was locked,” she answered. I heaved a sigh. I was glad the girl could defend herself. Chinaza kept looking at me, unsure of what to make of it all. “Come back later in the evening. She will be back by then,” I said. She nodded and ran out of the door. “Are they not in the same school?” Chinaza asked after she was gone. “I don’t know, you could have asked her.” “Something is not right about her,” she said, giving me the impression that she was in deep thoughts. “Let me lock the door before someone else walks in,” I said and rushed at the back door. I bolted it and came back to meet Chinaza giving me the deadliest looks I have ever seen. “What?” I asked. “Why is she wearing the kicker I bought for you?” she asked.

    EPISODE 39

    It was so hard convincing Naza that the knicker Chidimma wore wasn’t the one she bought for me and worse still that the one she gave me was back at school and so I can’t bring it out as proof. Shaa she believed me not because she wanted to believe me but because my explanations were interrupting her movie. Amara iced the cake when she came home and asked if I helped her wash those uniforms, Chidimma had obviously tipped her off. Chinaza had no choice than to believe me. Well the missed call was from my baby bear, Chinecherem. I called her back later in the night, after Naza was gone. I lashed her for almost ruining my day. She informed me that she was at my school. “Which my school? Do I own a school?” I asked, totally confused. “Baby, I’m at Unizik. I came to see you,” she said and giggled. “Hian, so where are you now that I am not around?” I asked as*uming she was kidding. “At a friend’s house, will you come and see me?” she asked. “Wait, who did you tell your people that you came to see?” “Chinaza naa, are you coming?” I evaluated my pocket and found out it could accommodate one more reckless spending, if only my mother would pay for the transportation. So we fixed a date for the next day. It was a Sunday and flexing was allowed and Chinecherem was just the perfect girl. “Mummy see, I need to pick that thing up urgently and I don’t think daddy will agree to give me transport money for me to go and come back,” I explained to my mother after service the next day. “And it’s me that will give you my car to go and come back naa?” “Mummy naa, shebi I will be coming back today,” I said with a frown. “What happened to the other small car?” she asked. “Mum which car, the beetle?” I asked and she nodded. That was the old modeled beetle, the one we call ike mbe. Nobody has moved that car for close to 2 years since I used it for learning how to drive. “Ah ah, mummy. That car? Road safety will just tow me and the car away if they jam me.” “You and your brother just want to finish that car for me. Today it’s Willie, tomorrow it’s you,” she complained. “Mummy this is my first time of touching that car, Willie has been the only one enjoying it naa.” “Okay, I will give you money for transport,” she offered. “No, I need car.” “Must it be car? I thought you said the reason you needed the car was because your father will not give you money for transport?” she asked. “No, I just remembered the bag I am picking up. I can’t carry it.” I won the argument. She let me have the car and I hugged her. I imagined myself speeding off all by myself with Chinecherem beside me, romancing my hands. Heck, I might even have a go at her in the car. “Ermm, mummy money for fuel,” I said slowly. “Oya Chinecherem get out of here!” she chased me up. “Bia nwuru ara, come and suck breast naa!” I laughed my way out of her presence. I knew her tank was never empty expect Willie had tampered with it but he was back at school. I just needed small money just in case. She later rogered me shaa without my asking for it. My mom was made like that. Chinecherem was busy hotline blinging me while I was gearing up for that day’s affair. I answered her once and ignored the rest. She said she was already waiting for me at one popular junction like that, so her incessant calls were understandable even though she can be a pest when she wants to. I got set by 1pm and after much prayers from my mum that I don’t crash the car and myself and that daughters of Jezebel may not see me. I drove off by 1:30 pm, looking all nice and smart. So driving through the streets and busy road of Awka wasn’t that easy for me. I had become a little rusty. One was that I could count the number of times I had been in mom’s car as the driver and the other was because that was about a year ago. So I was busy behind the wheels either getting cussed by my fellow drivers or I was cussing them. A lot of cussing did happen. Sighting Chinecherem wasn’t so hard. She was waiting at Unizik junction, opposite Crunches eatery. She was her usual curvy self and looking like one slay queen. A denim trouser torn on the knee, just fitting perfectly to her a little bowed leg and revealing her camel too in an appetizing way. Then her denim jacket, covering her white singlet with her cleavage grabbing some fresh air from the top. A sunshade and her shining weave was just on fleek. She was very beautiful and I was glad I didn’t miss. I pulled up beside her, almost knocking her into the gutter. I bet she was about to cuss the daylight out of me before my window went down and I stripped her naked with my eyes, covered by Willie’s Versace sunshade. She smiled and became her jittery self. “Baby,” she squealed and came for my door. She kissed me through the open window. Her lipsticks were gone in that instant but she still looked good without them. “How are you?” I bas*ed out at her. That was my big boy tone. She nodded a fine thank you and ran to the other side of the car. She got in and I made a turn for the eatery. We needed to start somewhere. I made our orders over the counter. I didn’t let her breathe a word there cos if she did, she would just order the whole place and I don’t think I have any reasonable explanation to give my mom for abandoning her car at an eatery because I couldn’t fix the bills of a daughter of Jezebel. We took our fried rice and chicken to the table. I had a one chivita on the saucer too. We sat down and faced each other. “Try not to finish that food before me, I am not buying another one, ” I warned her. She giggled. My phone beeped. I checked and it was a whatsapp message from Naza. “Baby, what is your mother doing at Crunches?” she asked. My countenance changed. It’s either my mom was at Crunches too and Chinaza pas*ing by saw her or the both of them were there at Crunches. Either way, I was fvcked. “How did you know,” I typed with the speed of light. She gave a space of 35 seconds before she replied. “Her car is parked here.” “And what are you doing here?” I asked. “I am here with Chinaza,” she replied and then started typing immediately. I waited and her second message came in. “What do you mean here? Chinecherem are you at Crunches?” she asked. I turned to Chinecherem and asked. “Did you know that Naza and Shape were here?”. She nodded. “I came here with Shape and Naza joined us.” she said and drank her cup of the juice, stuffing her mouth with a sizable size of the chicken. My palms itched from wanting to give her a resounding slap. Baby bear or not, that girl needed a good as* whooping and I mean the type you do with a leather belt and not the dick. “And you didn’t tell me?” I asked. “I wanted to be with you first before that your girl will snatch you away,” she replied casually. My phone beeped again. “Chinecherem answer me now or I will find you myself.” That was Naza’s message. “You are silly, where are they?” I asked her without the tiniest bit of smile on my face. She pointed behind me and I turned. Chinaza had her red face on her phone while shape winked at me. She obviously knew I was there, a thing Chinaza was much oblivious of. “I stood up and Chinecherem ran beside me being her restless self. We walked up to them and just before Chinaza raised her head, Shape yelled. “Suprise!!!” I smiled and she winked at me. She got me covered and here I was thinking she didn’t love me. I bent low and pecked Naza. “What is this? What are you doing here?” she asked, shooting looks between I and Neche. “Wanted to Suprise you, shape invited me on whatsapp,” I said and Shape nodded. Chinaza gave me a doubting look. “You don’t believe me?” I asked. “Yes, you are lying. Shape’s whatsapp expired yesterday,” she said, crossing her hands over her chest. “She Used Neche’s phone,” I said. “Well, I don’t trust you but I trust her,” she said and pulled me down for a second peck. More seats and I sat down. “Slay queen or not, I am not wasting those foods,” Chinecherem said and ran back to our former table. I watched her upturn my plate into hers and grabbed the juice and headed for our new table. None of those things did she share with me. Shape took charge of the orders, ordering fresh sets of food and juice. Even Chinecherem received a new plate. I had to protest. “Is Willie here?” I asked and they shook their head. “Did you guys come with any other guy?” I asked and heads shook again. “Why do you ask?” Shape asked me. “Who will pay for all these ones you are ordering or are they free?” I asked. “Did you come with a cooler of food?” Naza asked me, I shook my head. “Then what are we going to eat if we don’t order or did you come for sight seeing?” She asked me. I heaved a sigh and relaxed to my fate. Thank God mom gave me that extra money. I stood up from the table and started to walk away. “Where to?” Naza asked. “I want to buy beer, I need a bit of alcohol in my system.” “I will walk with you,” she said and stood up. I sized her up and she was dazzling in her huge red gown. She looked just lovely so I let her follow me. We walked to the car first and I emptied my mom’s pigeon hole of all the money there. Then hand in hand we walked to the counter. “Give me Heineken,” I started to say and Chinaza interrupted me. “Give him malt,” she said. I gave her the opolo eye. “For what kwanu?” I asked. She rubbed my back romantically and pecked me. “If you get drunk now, who will drive us home?” she asked. I accepted the malt grudgingly and we walked back to our table to meet a packet of juice sitting beside each plate. Four packets of juice in total. I don’t know between Shape and Chinecherem who made the order but whoever it was, I am going to find out and she will pay either today, tomorrow or in the future. “So as I was saying, the two of us was high like the high priestess and Neche was looking all sexy…” I smiled within me but I had a heavy frown on my face. “He even wanted to take me to bed with my clothes on.” “Hahahaha, for real?” Shape asked, poking her head forward from the back seat. I made eye contact with Chinecherem through the rear view mirror and she smiled. I shook my head. “I am telling you,” Naza said. “Naza stop naa,” I pleaded. “Please face the road,” she said and continued. “So I wouldn’t want him to tear my beautiful clothes so I decided to pull them off. I opened the wardrobe and just then I saw something on the floor.” She stopped and waited for everyone to appreciate the climax. I was almost crying. “What did you see?” Shape and Chinecherem asked in unison. “I saw this very black extra large g-string. As in, the pant would go around your waist two times Chinaza,” Naza said and the two girls broke off into a huge skyscraper laughter. “That’s not true. Shape is a bit heavier and thicker than Cynthia jare,” I protested. Naza turned to me with a frown. She wanted to tell dirty tales, I was becoming interested in it. “Her name is Cynthia?” shape asked. I nodded. “The girl that came on Naza’s birthday,” I said and bit my lips, appreciating the horror on Naza’s face. “She came again?” she asked and I nodded slowly. “What for?” “She came to take her pant,” I replied nonchalantly. “I thought you said,” she started and stopped with a broad smile and then faced her backseat audience again. “Did you know that Neche even said that the pant belonged to James?”. Another streak of laughter. I couldn’t help it. I smiled too, on imagining James on a pair of g-strings. “So how is she?” Chinaza asked, facing me. “How is who?” “The g-string girl.” “Her name is Cynthia and she is fine. Shebi you invited her for that party,” I said. “She came?” “No, her ghost came. Abeg change topic,” I said. “How is my baby?” Shape asked. “Which one?” I asked. “Williams baby naa, do I have any other babe?” “He is fine.” “Its been long I last saw him, I am really missing him,” she murmured. “Shebi he was around on Monday for my birthday. E never even reach one week sef and you don dy miss am,” I said. “Ehe, one week is long enough for me to miss him. Abeg face your wife o.” I laughed and turned to Naza. I needed to taunt her a bit more. “Naza how is that Range Rover guy?” I asked and that was how I bought market on my head. “He is okay, he even called me today sef,” she said. “What for?” I asked. “He wanted to meet me, maybe take me out but I don’t want him to see me like this,” she said rubbing her belly. “I want to look sexy enough when I meet him.” I swallowed hard and increased my foothold on the gas a little. “Is it that cute one, the one showed me long ago?” Shape asked excitedly. Naza nodded. I kept quiet, exchanging glances with Chinecherem. “When is he coming, I can’t wait to meet him again. As in, the guy is so cute and with his fluffy beard and deep voice and everything,” Shape gushed. I coughed and rubbed the tiny hair sprawling out of my chin. I nearly wanted to cry. Those girls had deadly blows. “When I deliver my baby boy, we may meet up again,” Naza said and I interrupted. “Baby girl,” I said. “Whatever but I heard he has bought the latest Range Rover. Is it 2014 model. Shebi that is the latest?” she asked. Nobody replied. “Neche I am asking you, shey the latest model is 2014?” “I don’t know, why don’t you ask him,” I answered without even looking at her. “Well, I will call him and ask him this night,” she said. “Oh my God. That his voice must be so sexy at night,” Shape said. I got so jealous and fed up that I had to scream. “Girls I am driving!!” They kept mute for a while. They looked shocked. “So?” Naza asked after a while. “You are distracting me.” She peeked into my face. “Are you jealous?” she asked and I shot a look at her and then faced the road again. “Why would I be? If I get to his age and I don’t have a beard and a Range, that’s when you will start asking me that stupid question.” I was vexed and it was in my voice. “Is like he is angry,” shape whispered to Chinaza like I couldn’t hear them. “No, I think he is jealous,” Chinaza replied like I wasn’t there. “Baby are you jealous? You know I was joking abi?” she asked, caressing the little hair on my chin. From the rear view mirror, I could see Chinecherem trying to stifle a laughter. Shape couldn’t help it. I felt the urge to let out a smile but I withheld it. I was damn angry and maybe jealous. I pulled into Ifite and drove through the potholes which left everyone in the car dancing. I wasn’t good enough at avoiding them. I parked by our lodge gate and Shape got down with Chinecherem. Shape and Neche came to my side, my glas* went down. “Boo, take it easy on her o. You know she has a bad mouth and was only joking,” she said and pecked me. I let out a weak smile. She walked over to Naza and Neche came to bid her own goodbye. She rubbed my hand and smiled. I smiled back but that didn’t mean I will be coming out to see her again in my life. “You won’t beg me to take it easy on him?” Naza said to shape. She was laughing away. “I will kill him o!” They laughed it away. They bade us good night as we drove off. We weren’t talking to each other. A little distance out, I saw the silhouette of Cynthia as she stood by a gutter, getting toasted by one fresh guy like that. I stopped and honked at her. I bet she jumped above three feet when she saw me behind the wheels. I was just feeling myself anyhow. She came at my window and stopped short at kissing me when she saw Naza. We talked for long and she invited me to her birthday party loading the following week. I left her there, feeling good as I have equalized with Chinaza to an extent. I had done a little bit of dirty talking with Cynthia and even pecked her as I drove off. I stopped before their gate around 8 pm. “Are you coming tomorrow?” I ask her. She got down from the car without a word and banged my door shut. Good for her I thought. Imagine her taunting me with talks of a guy better than me wanting to hook her up the second time after ruining my supposed date with that silly Chinecherem. Which girl does that? I sneaked into the house and everywhere was quiet. That was surprising. My father should have been on the TV. I called Amara and she came running down at me, all prepped for a fully equipped hug. I let her have it and she caressed me with every detail of her body. She was endowed like I would always say. “Where are they?” I asked, biting her lips. “They traveled to the village just this evening. They said someone died and that your food is in the kitchen, they will be sleeping over. ” I thanked her and walked up to my room, crashing on my bed with everything still on. I managed to pull off and pulled the sheets over my semi nude body. I closed my eyes and smiled. The coast was quite clear and tomorrow I am going to invite Chidimma over for another round of F**kery. That was my plan until the lights went on. I thought if Amara was expecting to get laid this night, she’s in for a long thing. I was going to tell her that until I opened my eyes and saw Naza standing by my switch on her very sexy nightie. I swallowed hard. “Shift,” she said and lay on the bed beside me. I obliged without a word. So with my face up and my hands supporting my head, I stared at the ceiling. I knew there was no sleep for me that night. I hated sleeping with the lights on and Chinaza liked it on while she slept, except we were going to f**k, only then would she agree to killing the lights but just how do you f**k a pregnant woman in the darkness. She slept with her face to the other side of the wall while I stared at the ceiling, not wanting to complain. Approximately one hour later, she turned and placed her head on my chest and hugged me closer. I kissed her forehead and shut my eyes. My baby is going to have the best parents ever, I swear down!!!

    EPISODE 40

    Being with Naza and loving her forever and for everything doesn’t stop me from catching feelings for another chic, a feeling most guys can relate to and which was evident in my affair with Chinemelum and Chidimma my faculty girl. Girls I could stay without f**king and still love. I think I know why I have been totally unable to get over Naza. She was the type of girl most guys like me could only admire from afar and wish we had the money to run after. I was only lucky because I started out early with her before the world around opened her eyes to the things she had. Why she is still stuck with me is what I don’t have the slightest idea of and it’s not like I don’t have the fear of losing her. The day she walks out of my life is the day I may decide to jump off our balcony but I don’t think she knows that. I prefer her frustrating me to her leaving me. So I can’t actually deny that I am an as*hole. A cute, proper as*hole and dick head maybe, when it comes to love. In as much as all it takes is a big b**bs and proper booty for me to fall in love with any girl, it takes me absolutely nothing to fall out of love with the same girl, big booty and b**bs not withstanding. I have had so many cases of it and I am guessing Naza knows that. She even told me once. “You eh, when you finish running after those as*ess and b**bss, you will still crawl back to me.” She was right cos I was already going to sleep with the thought of her and waking up with the thought of getting a new chic but in the end, I just go to bed with the thought of her. We were built like that. Just that you can never rid yourself of your DNA. Unfortunately, mine is engraved with running after any skirt wearing thing. I had sent her back to school with a duffel bag of kisses and hugs. Her exams were starting and she was wants to be going from my house to her school for her exams. I totally rejected the idea. If My life is going to get ruined by girls, I believe that girl to be Naza. I wouldn’t like any other girl to do that when I have her. I don’t even think she would allow any other girl ruin it when she’s there. It’s her exclusive right. “I have two exams on Monday and another three for the rest of the week. Neche they want to kill your baby here o,” she had said as we were talking on the phone on a Saturday night. “Baby don’t let them succeed. Is there a way I could help you in reading your books?” I asked. “No, don’t worry sugar, I can manage. Just try and read your own first.” We laughed and said so many other sweet things to each other. I made her realize that if it wasn’t her, then I won’t marry. She loved the sound of it. “So if a rich, cute guy with fluffy beards that doesn’t cheat comes to marry me, I should tell him that I am engaged to you already?” she asked. “Yes of course. Why not?” “And you are sure you won’t break my heart or leave me?” “I thought you said that I have broken everything in your heart? That there’s nothing left to break?” I asked with a smile on my face. “Be serious. Should I wait for you?” she asked. “Yes baby. It’s you or nobody else.” “No, I don’t believe you. I don’t trust you,” she said, killing the anxiety in her voice. “What do I do to make you trust me?” “Make a blood Covenant,” she said and my eyes widened. “Baby I have aids,” I said and she laughed. Then mtn warned me. I fvcked the consequences and continued the call. It’s not every time that Naza is in a good mood on the phone. We talked on and on until what was left of my airtime finished, then the call ended abruptly without a goodbye. Naza called back minutes later. “Baby,” she said as I picked. I answered softly, more like a moan. “Kiss us Goodnight,” she said. I can’t waste time with that. I blew her the longest kiss I had ever given anybody. She blew me back, twice. One from her and the other from the baby. “Baby Goodnight and sweet dreams,” I said. “You too. I love you,” she said and waited for her reply. “I love you too.” “And Neche, send me back this airtime I used to call you tomorrow,” she said and cut the phone. I smiled and then turned to shape on the bed. “See, our love is still burning,” I said to her. She hissed and cuddled closer to me, baring her cleavage above the blankets. I eyed them, those balloons of hers that I have been salivating after all those while. “How can only you carry all these things? Where did you get them from?” I asked, mas*aging her jugs. She giggled and bit her lips in a light moan. Then I went into her again, starting with my teeth on her tit. Love bares the best in us and heartbreak, the beast in us. Chinelo had come back to claim what was hers, that is Willie. They shared same trait I and Naza shared and that was the inability to let each other go. Well, William had always liked Chinelo above any other girl he had ever hooked up with. She was his very proper bad girl. She oozed of maximum sauce and Willie loved licking them off her. She had insisted and stubbornly too, on him cutting off everything he had with any other girl. I think Naza was tutoring her on being a very troublesome girlfriend. Willie had cut out his communication with Shape as soon as Chinelo came back for him. He just gave in to her demands flawlessly. I wouldn’t blame him, I can’t deny that I once had this crush on Nelo. She seemed to have this appeal that shape lacked and it was glaring to William. Shape had visited him when she was done being frustrated with him not picking her calls. I somehow gave her the hint that it wasn’t the right time to visit Willie. “What do you mean I can’t visit Willie baby at this point in time,” she asked, flexing muscles for a fight with me. “I mean, for your own good and his own good. Just give it a bit of time before you go,” I advised. Shape kept looking at me like I was Willie that was dodging her calls. She went visiting shaa. She came back the same day unlike before. She had bumped in on Nelo at Willie’s place and as the story went, it wasn’t a funny something. “It wasn’t a funny something” was all the gist Willie could give me on the matter. “Did they fight?” I kept asking and he kept saying no. “Bro, it wasn’t a funny something. Leave it like that. Just be careful around Shape, she was so hurt that I think she may want to revenge it on you,” he had warned me. So that night when Shape came into my room on her night dress looking all sexy and f**kable, I knew she had come for revenge only that her pus*y was the weapon she used on me and when she was done with me, I wished all revenges were like that. My only problem was that she was involving my baby in the whole thing. “Chinaza knew I loved Willie and she just pushed her sister on him,” she had cried, stamping her feet on the ground at the supposed betrayal, everything good in her jingling to the rhythm. “That’s not true. Williams had always been with Nelo, it’s just that they separated for a while, Chinaza had nothing to do with it,” I preached. “Then why did he come to me when he had her?” she asked, heaving her huge ton of bum up on my little fridge. “Shape no, you can’t do that. You will break my fridge abeg,” I said. She eyed me. “Chinecherem take your time o. Stop calling me Shape, maybe that’s why Willie thinks he can use me and dump me anyhow he likes,” she said. I only noticed that she called me by my full name. Whenever someone gets angry at me, it’s always Chinecherem and no more Eche or Neche. “No, Willie did not use and dump you. He is only acting on external forces,” I explained, helping her down from my fridge by her waist. “Which forces?” she asked. “Just take it that he is hypnotized at the moment, he will come back to you when he comes back to his senses.” “Hypnotized by who?” “I don’t know. Just take it that Nelo hypnotized him. It will fade very soon and he will come back to you.” Shape stared at me for long and I felt pity for her. If only Willie had told her that he just wanted a fling, it might have been more easier on her and she wouldn’t be sleeping with me to get back at Chinaza for allegedly snatching Willie from her and handing him over to her sister. That was shape’s thesis, heck, I don’t even know where she got that type of silly idea from. Maybe it never occurred to her that Willie was a worse playboy than I was. She was just busy getting her self played with that type of get back and she was being very wonderful at it. I am not wicked, it just that sometimes, life throws juicy lemons at you and then you make a lemonade and suck the hell out of it. Shape was one sweet, juicy lemon. The experience was good. She did things to me, things that I envied Willie for enjoying so long. She was good and more flexible than she looked. All that b**bss on my chest and her meaty pus*y was more than I could enjoy alone, we had to take it easy, one at a time. “No wonder Naza doesn’t want to let you go,” she had told me as we lay panting on my bed. “Why do you think?”I asked her. “You have more muscles on your dick than on your hands,” she said and we laughed. “Forget that, if Naza wanted a dick with more muscles on it than on Hulk Hogan’s hand, she would have gotten it. Our business is different. It’s love as in real pure love,” I sang with a stupid grin on my face. “Why can’t Willie love me like that?” she asked and I hissed. “I am Willie’s junior brother, not Willie. You are asking me questions that you are supposed to be asking Willie himself.” “I think I understand. You, Willie, Chinaza and her sister are like family, I am the outsider. I am just your lodge mate and Chinaza is only hanging out with me because she wants me to look after you.” My mouth was wide open as she read out the epistle. Shape was wounded internally and I don’t know how else to console again except the only way I knew. “That’s not true. If you were an outsider, I won’t even let you touch my bed talk less of sleeping on it,” I said. I know, I sounded pathetic even to myself. She laughed hard and long. That was the first time after that disastrous visit to Willie. I was glad she laughed. “You Chinecherem, you that can even sleep with a mad woman as long as she is beautiful and have big booty and breast,” shape said. I eyed her for a long time. “Shape oya start going to your room,” I said. She laughed more. “Don’t you want midnight sex?” she asked. “I have hands.” She looked at me, confused. “Hands kwa,” she asked me. “Yes hands.” “For what?” “Masturbation, go to your room abeg.”

    EPISODE 41

    I never actually believed shape would hover over me all those while and never crash on my bed, it was impossible but I also didn’t know she was going to serve it to me on a platter of diamonds. Good things they say come to those who are patient for them and shape was one hell of a bloody good thing and I was one patient dog. “What if Naza finds out?” she had asked me as we watched a movie in my room, waiting for the appropriate time to hit the bed. “Find out about what?” I asked. “About us,” she replied, eyeing me with a smile on her face. “She won’t find out,” I said and fixed my attention on the movie. Someone I really like was about to be killed. “What if I tell her?” She asked. “She will poison you and then make me apologize for cheating on her. Then life goes on,” I said. She laughed and I paused the movie to turn to her. “Shape, I am serious, Naza will poison you if she finds out.” “I will tell her. I want her to feel the same way I am feeling,” she said. “Shape, how old are you?” I asked her all of a sudden. “19, why do you ask?” “I should have asked you that at first,” I said and continued with the film. “Why?” she kept asking. “Because I would have known you are liable to do things like a small girl,” I said. “I am not a small girl abeg,” she said with a frown. “Having a 25 year old body doesn’t make you 25, it only makes you 6 years hotter than you should be.” She laughed. She probably thought I was joking about the poison stuff. Minutes turned into hours and hours into days and Shape’s revenge turned into a full blown sex affair. I was almost running from her, have never seen any insatiable girl like her. No wonder Willie liked her. Now she was at the brink of forgetting her Willie baby, I was now her proper daddy yo. She was also at the brink of catching feelings and I didn’t like it. It was either “Neche Imagine two of us married, we would be the best couple in town” or “Neche imagine what my baby with you would look like, she would be so lovely”. That was all she talked about and I always let her know that the joke had turned senior whenever she mentioned that baby bullshit. Of course I had my condoms handy only that with girls like shape, you can never tell. So it was a chilly day and a weather for a naked two. It was 9pm and we were cuddling on the bed, popping our pimples and getting wet. Shape had a smooth skin despite her heavy endowments. The stretch marks just weren’t there. I hand my left hand up her as*hole and she was moaning the hell out of herself, trying to break my dick like they had a dispute. She had the smoothest lips I had ever tasted, of course second to only my Naza. You can call me biased, it’s your business. We kissed and exchanged tongues for chewing and licking. She was stark naked and so was I. She always insisted if she was going totally naked, then the guy would do likewise. I always had this joy of spreading a very thick leg and flying myself in between them. I doubted if I was ever going to let shape go in a very long time. I parted her beautiful laps and she pulled me in, inserting my tool herself, Rubbing the open tip nearly driving me off the cliff of madness. I fell on her like a three course meal and devoured her, a trillion thrust in a second. She kept singing my name and I kept asking for more vocals. She flipped me around and mounted me like a proper cowgirl. I held her juggs as she bounced on me, her face to the ceiling, calling on the lord to save her from drowning in that pool of pleasure. Then I felt the cum coming out of me and in that moment of irredeemable ecstasy, shapes mouth wide open in deep moans and my teeth digging into my lips with intense pleasure, I saw my door open and Naza walked in, even then I couldn’t push shape off. I was bloody cumming and it’s one of those things in life that you can hardly pause. She slapped me and I let out a moan. More followed and I turned around and through the blurry film in my eyes I saw a guy leaning towards me. I was dreaming but it wasn’t far from reality of what shape would do to me in real life. “What?” I asked, wiping my eyes with my hand and wondering if I had been moaning and asking for more in my sleep. “Was I talking in my sleep?” I asked the strange guy. “No, but you were snoring,” he said in a hoarse voice. I knew he was lying because I don’t snore, that was even one of the reasons Naza loved me. “Give me that phone,” the guy said, more like commanded. “Who do you want to call?” I asked, still rubbing my eyes. “I want to call my mother. Mumu guy, get up!!” he thundered and I jerked only seeing the shinning gun in his hand for the first time. I stood up from my bed and there was shape on the floor her face down and shivering. “Is this Tecno?” the guy asked and I shook my head, joining shape on the floor. “Infinix,” I murmured. “So you no even get iPhone,” he asked me again. I shook my head. “Is he a thief?” I asked shape in whisper. She shook her head. “No, he is my boyfriend.” Even the guy laughed. I didn’t laugh shaa neither did shape. Only the guy laughed. “So as you big like this, you no get iPhone? Wetin I wan use China infinix do?” the guy asked and I was tempted to call him a fool, only the gun in his hand stopped me. “Chairman, I broke like this,” I managed to say, hoping to extract pity from the guy. “You broke and you dy carry this kind of beautiful girl,” he said. I looked at shape and back to him. “This one? She is my junior sister ni, where I see money to carry girl?” I asked. He observed shape and licked his lips. “This your sister go sweet gan,” he said. Shape sniffed. “Bros abeg, she is a virgin,” I said and noticed the look of disbelief on his face. “Virgin carry all these things?” he asked. “I am surprised myself,” I said. “And how did you know?” he asked me. “No be me and am dy stay like this?” I asked. “No be your sister again?” he asked with a grin. “I mean…” I stammered. “I understand, as in sister in Christ,” he said with a smile. I sniffed without a word again. “Bad guy,” he hailed me. I smiled uneasily. He went for my laptop sitting on my refrigerator and unplugged it. I felt the tears chocking my throat. “You fit buy am back if you get money o,” he said, smiling wickedly at me. “How much?” I asked. “20k.” “Bros abeg, I thought we were friends already, you na my fellow guy naa. No do this thing. Take the phone and leave the lappy for me abeg,” I begged. “We no be friends guy, we fit be friends tomorrow but no be this night. How person go dy steal from you, you sef go dy call am your friend?” he murmured, feeling my pocket. He felt my Nokia torchlight, the phone after my own heart. “Give me that phone,” he commanded. “Bros na Nokia torch o,” I said, looking up at him with pity in my eyes and pulling the phone hurriedly from my pocket, he had his gun in my face. “E no matter, phone na phone,” he said, putting the phone in his pocket. I was calculating how to pull a Jackie Chan on him when my door opened. Another of them peeped in, a gun in his hand too. “Emeka do fast make we commot here,” he said and then stared at my plasma TV on the wall. “This guy get better television o. If to say we carry car come.” “No worry, next time. At least we don get like five laptops,” the Emeka said with a smile, pointing at my laptop. I actually cried, only that there was no tear. He parked his loot and headed for the door. “Fine girl, goodnight,” he said to shape and turned to me. “My guy we go see next time eh. Try buy iPhone, e dy cost pas* all this infinix and tecno,” he said. I ignored him. He closed my door and shape sniffed then he opened the door again. “Come,” he called me. I stood up and walked to him, fidgeting to break his head when he turned his back but I saw about five other guys outside, some had pump actions. “Who get that room wey them lock?” he asked me, pointing at Shape’s room. “She is not around, she went home,” shape answered rather hurriedly. “You sure?” he asked her and she nodded. “No need to waste time. We already get enough things,” he said to his colleagues. They nodded and started moving. He turned to me. “Oga e go be naa. Lock your room and continue your brother on sister in Christ sleep,” he said and walked away. I closed my door and fell to the floor. Kindly like our Facebook Page POBSONLINE.COM for more amazing stories “What happened?” I asked shape and she explained. They had knocked on the door and she thought it was James or some other of our lodge mates. She opened the door and found out otherwise. Now my laptop was gone and my two phones. James scampered into my room almost crying. “Guy they cleared my wardrobe,” he said and sat beside me on the floor. “They nearly raped Shape,” I announced. “Did you watch?” James asked me, a bit of excitement on his face. Shape hissed and was ignored. “I said nearly guy, he no touch am.” James hissed and we sat there, James’s face on the floor and his hand on his head. My gaze was all on Shape, somehow, I only managed to remember that wonderful dream before the mofo woke me up. “Thank God,” I muttered. James and Shape turned to me. “For what?” She asked me. “They didn’t steal your pus*y,” I said. James fell on the floor and Shape hissed. I spent the next day crying over my laptop and my Nokia torch. The phone had all my beautiful female contacts, my heart was simply broken. Shape kept consoling me, after all her room wasn’t robbed and when we were alone inside, I was crying, hissing and throwing my hands on my head, she had asked me. “Do you want to suck breast?” jingling her b**bss with a wide smile I looked at her with a mighty frown and then threw my face away. After all, hers was just a pair of breasts, my stolen phone’s contact had many of as*orted colors, sizes and many more. “In the name of Jesus, any hand that is involved in robbing my son will know no peace for the rest of his life!” A loud echo of amen swept through the whole room. “For stealing his properties, may they have all there individual destinies stolen!” My amen was the loudest. My laptop and my phone had meant a great deal to me. “Abba father! You promised me that no evil man shall lay a hand on these innocent, precious children you gave to me and therefore for laying a hand on my son, descend on the enemy’s camp with your mighty hand and beat the devil out of their various lives in Jesus name!” My amen was low and I turned to Willie who was kneeling beside me and throwing out Amens like punches. “Did you tell them that I was beaten?” I asked him in whispers. He turned to me, eyed me and continued the Amen chants. My mom kept up with the curses until she had made a mess of the robbers lives with her prayers then we sang praises and made the final sign of the cross. “Dad, Mom, as in they cleared everything,” Willie continued and I kept nodding as back up. My mom crossed her hand over her chest and kept repeating her chants of “ewoo!”. “The television, the laptop, his phone even his clothes,” Willie said again and my father coughed, dropping his paper on the side stool. He removed his spectacles and stared at me. “You have a television?” he asked after a staring match between us. Amara scoffed, my mother turned to him with disbelief all over her face. I turned to Willie with that “Shey you have seen what you have caused?” look on my face. Then my mother came to my rescue. “Is that all you can hear from what they have been saying here since? Criminals attacked your son, beat him like a school drum and left with all his property and all you heard is that he has a television?” she asked. “He is not dead naa, is he?” my father asked. “And so? Can’t you see how they have beaten my son and changed his color to black?” Everyone laughed, even my father. “Was he white before?” he asked. “I don’t know but I don’t think I have enough Children already, talk less of the one armed robbers will come and kill for me,” she said, adjusting and readjusting her head tie. “Come and have more naa,” my father said, picking up his paper from the stool again. “Yes, we need another fresh chic in this house,” Willie said. “Yes, a cute baby girl,” I seconded. “No, we need another boy, the two I have are gradually turning into a heap of wastes,” my father said and kept peeking at the paper over the rims of his spectacle. “My children are not wastes biko, my baby boys are responsible,” my mother defended. “Yes, we need a girl, when aunty Uju and Prisca gets married now, I will be the only girl left the in house,” Amara said. My father turned to her. “Go and born a girl naa, are you not old enough?” he said. Another argument was going to break out and replace my trending topic of the robbery. That was one thing I and Willie wasn’t going to allow. “Dad, our exams are starting next week,” I said and he turned to me. “Good, go and read,” he said. “My books are back at school and I need go back.” “I thought they stole everything?” he asked. “Armed robbers don’t steal books,” Willie chipped in. “Are you one?” my father asked him. “No, please don’t call my son a thief,I won’t take that, no way,” my mother protested. “I didn’t call him a thief, I was only asking if he was.” “Are you a thief?” my mother asked him. “God forbid,” he said and circled his hand over his head, snapping his fingers. “Then why ask him if he is one. He can only be a thief if one of his parents are and I am not a thief,” my mother said, eyeing him. My father turned to her with a frown. “I am not a thief, stop looking at me like that,” he said. Everyone laughed. Then I pressed further my charges. I told him my bed was also stolen and my room was bare, only my locker and books were spared. I never actually believed shape would hover over me all those while and never crash on my bed, it was impossible but I also didn’t know she was going to serve it to me on a platter of diamonds. Good things they say come to those who are patient for them and shape was one hell of a bloody good thing and I was one patient dog. “What if Naza finds out?” she had asked me as we watched a movie in my room, waiting for the appropriate time to hit the bed. “Find out about what?” I asked. “About us,” she replied, eyeing me with a smile on her face. “She won’t find out,” I said and fixed my attention on the movie. Someone I really like was about to be killed. “What if I tell her?” She asked. “She will poison you and then make me apologize for cheating on her. Then life goes on,” I said. She laughed and I paused the movie to turn to her. “Shape, I am serious, Naza will poison you if she finds out.” “I will tell her. I want her to feel the same way I am feeling,” she said. “Shape, how old are you?” I asked her all of a sudden. “19, why do you ask?” “I should have asked you that at first,” I said and continued with the film. “Why?” she kept asking. “Because I would have known you are liable to do things like a small girl,” I said. “I am not a small girl abeg,” she said with a frown. “Having a 25 year old body doesn’t make you 25, it only makes you 6 years hotter than you should be.” She laughed. She probably thought I was joking about the poison stuff. Minutes turned into hours and hours into days and Shape’s revenge turned into a full blown sex affair. I was almost running from her, have never seen any insatiable girl like her. No wonder Willie liked her. Now she was at the brink of forgetting her Willie baby, I was now her proper daddy yo. She was also at the brink of catching feelings and I didn’t like it. It was either “Neche Imagine two of us married, we would be the best couple in town” or “Neche imagine what my baby with you would look like, she would be so lovely”. That was all she talked about and I always let her know that the joke had turned senior whenever she mentioned that baby bullshit. Of course I had my condoms handy only that with girls like shape, you can never tell. So it was a chilly day and a weather for a naked two. It was 9pm and we were cuddling on the bed, popping our pimples and getting wet. Shape had a smooth skin despite her heavy endowments. The stretch marks just weren’t there. I hand my left hand up her as*hole and she was moaning the hell out of herself, trying to break my dick like they had a dispute. She had the smoothest lips I had ever tasted, of course second to only my Naza. You can call me biased, it’s your business. We kissed and exchanged tongues for chewing and licking. She was stark naked and so was I. She always insisted if she was going totally naked, then the guy would do likewise. I always had this joy of spreading a very thick leg and flying myself in between them. I doubted if I was ever going to let shape go in a very long time. I parted her beautiful laps and she pulled me in, inserting my tool herself, Rubbing the open tip nearly driving me off the cliff of madness. I fell on her like a three course meal and devoured her, a trillion thrust in a second. She kept singing my name and I kept asking for more vocals. She flipped me around and mounted me like a proper cowgirl. I held her juggs as she bounced on me, her face to the ceiling, calling on the lord to save her from drowning in that pool of pleasure. Then I felt the cum coming out of me and in that moment of irredeemable ecstasy, shapes mouth wide open in deep moans and my teeth digging into my lips with intense pleasure, I saw my door open and Naza walked in, even then I couldn’t push shape off. I was bloody cumming and it’s one of those things in life that you can hardly pause. She slapped me and I let out a moan. More followed and I turned around and through the blurry film in my eyes I saw a guy leaning towards me. I was dreaming but it wasn’t far from reality of what shape would do to me in real life. “What?” I asked, wiping my eyes with my hand and wondering if I had been moaning and asking for more in my sleep. “Was I talking in my sleep?” I asked the strange guy. “No, but you were snoring,” he said in a hoarse voice. I knew he was lying because I don’t snore, that was even one of the reasons Naza loved me. “Give me that phone,” the guy said, more like commanded. “Who do you want to call?” I asked, still rubbing my eyes. “I want to call my mother. Mumu guy, get up!!” he thundered and I jerked only seeing the shinning gun in his hand for the first time. I stood up from my bed and there was shape on the floor her face down and shivering. “Is this Tecno?” the guy asked and I shook my head, joining shape on the floor. “Infinix,” I murmured. “So you no even get iPhone,” he asked me again. I shook my head. “Is he a thief?” I asked shape in whisper. She shook her head. “No, he is my boyfriend.” Even the guy laughed. I didn’t laugh shaa neither did shape. Only the guy laughed. “So as you big like this, you no get iPhone? Wetin I wan use China infinix do?” the guy asked and I was tempted to call him a fool, only the gun in his hand stopped me. “Chairman, I broke like this,” I managed to say, hoping to extract pity from the guy. “You broke and you dy carry this kind of beautiful girl,” he said. I looked at shape and back to him. “This one? She is my junior sister ni, where I see money to carry girl?” I asked. He observed shape and licked his lips. “This your sister go sweet gan,” he said. Shape sniffed. “Bros abeg, she is a virgin,” I said and noticed the look of disbelief on his face. “Virgin carry all these things?” he asked. “I am surprised myself,” I said. “And how did you know?” he asked me. “No be me and am dy stay like this?” I asked. “No be your sister again?” he asked with a grin. “I mean…” I stammered. “I understand, as in sister in Christ,” he said with a smile. I sniffed without a word again. “Bad guy,” he hailed me. I smiled uneasily. He went for my laptop sitting on my refrigerator and unplugged it. I felt the tears chocking my throat. “You fit buy am back if you get money o,” he said, smiling wickedly at me. “How much?” I asked. “20k.” “Bros abeg, I thought we were friends already, you na my fellow guy naa. No do this thing. Take the phone and leave the lappy for me abeg,” I begged. “We no be friends guy, we fit be friends tomorrow but no be this night. How person go dy steal from you, you sef go dy call am your friend?” he murmured, feeling my pocket. He felt my Nokia torchlight, the phone after my own heart. “Give me that phone,” he commanded. “Bros na Nokia torch o,” I said, looking up at him with pity in my eyes and pulling the phone hurriedly from my pocket, he had his gun in my face. “E no matter, phone na phone,” he said, putting the phone in his pocket. I was calculating how to pull a Jackie Chan on him when my door opened. Another of them peeped in, a gun in his hand too. “Emeka do fast make we commot here,” he said and then stared at my plasma TV on the wall. “This guy get better television o. If to say we carry car come.” “No worry, next time. At least we don get like five laptops,” the Emeka said with a smile, pointing at my laptop. I actually cried, only that there was no tear. He parked his loot and headed for the door. “Fine girl, goodnight,” he said to shape and turned to me. “My guy we go see next time eh. Try buy iPhone, e dy cost pas* all this infinix and tecno,” he said. I ignored him. He closed my door and shape sniffed then he opened the door again. “Come,” he called me. I stood up and walked to him, fidgeting to break his head when he turned his back but I saw about five other guys outside, some had pump actions. “Who get that room wey them lock?” he asked me, pointing at Shape’s room. “She is not around, she went home,” shape answered rather hurriedly. “You sure?” he asked her and she nodded. “No need to waste time. We already get enough things,” he said to his colleagues. They nodded and started moving. He turned to me. “Oga e go be naa. Lock your room and continue your brother on sister in Christ sleep,” he said and walked away. I closed my door and fell to the floor. “What happened?” I asked shape and she explained. They had knocked on the door and she thought it was James or some other of our lodge mates. She opened the door and found out otherwise. Now my laptop was gone and my two phones. James scampered into my room almost crying. “Guy they cleared my wardrobe,” he said and sat beside me on the floor. “They nearly raped Shape,” I announced. “Did you watch?” James asked me, a bit of excitement on his face. Shape hissed and was ignored. “I said nearly guy, he no touch am.” James hissed and we sat there, James’s face on the floor and his hand on his head. My gaze was all on Shape, somehow, I only managed to remember that wonderful dream before the mofo woke me up. “Thank God,” I muttered. James and Shape turned to me. “For what?” She asked me. “They didn’t steal your pus*y,” I said. James fell on the floor and Shape hissed. I spent the next day crying over my laptop and my Nokia torch. The phone had all my beautiful female contacts, my heart was simply broken. Shape kept consoling me, after all her room wasn’t robbed and when we were alone inside, I was crying, hissing and throwing my hands on my head, she had asked me. “Do you want to suck breast?” jingling her b**bss with a wide smile I looked at her with a mighty frown and then threw my face away. After all, hers was just a pair of breasts, my stolen phone’s contact had many of as*orted colors, sizes and many more. “In the name of Jesus, any hand that is involved in robbing my son will know no peace for the rest of his life!” A loud echo of amen swept through the whole room. “For stealing his properties, may they have all there individual destinies stolen!” My amen was the loudest. My laptop and my phone had meant a great deal to me. “Abba father! You promised me that no evil man shall lay a hand on these innocent, precious children you gave to me and therefore for laying a hand on my son, descend on the enemy’s camp with your mighty hand and beat the devil out of their various lives in Jesus name!” My amen was low and I turned to Willie who was kneeling beside me and throwing out Amens like punches. “Did you tell them that I was beaten?” I asked him in whispers. He turned to me, eyed me and continued the Amen chants. My mom kept up with the curses until she had made a mess of the robbers lives with her prayers then we sang praises and made the final sign of the cross. “Dad, Mom, as in they cleared everything,” Willie continued and I kept nodding as back up. My mom crossed her hand over her chest and kept repeating her chants of “ewoo!”. “The television, the laptop, his phone even his clothes,” Willie said again and my father coughed, dropping his paper on the side stool. He removed his spectacles and stared at me. “You have a television?” he asked after a staring match between us. Amara scoffed, my mother turned to him with disbelief all over her face. I turned to Willie with that “Shey you have seen what you have caused?” look on my face. Then my mother came to my rescue. “Is that all you can hear from what they have been saying here since? Criminals attacked your son, beat him like a school drum and left with all his property and all you heard is that he has a television?” she asked. “He is not dead naa, is he?” my father asked. “And so? Can’t you see how they have beaten my son and changed his color to black?” Everyone laughed, even my father. “Was he white before?” he asked. “I don’t know but I don’t think I have enough Children already, talk less of the one armed robbers will come and kill for me,” she said, adjusting and readjusting her head tie. “Come and have more naa,” my father said, picking up his paper from the stool again. “Yes, we need another fresh chic in this house,” Willie said. “Yes, a cute baby girl,” I seconded. “No, we need another boy, the two I have are gradually turning into a heap of wastes,” my father said and kept peeking at the paper over the rims of his spectacle. “My children are not wastes biko, my baby boys are responsible,” my mother defended. “Yes, we need a girl, when aunty Uju and Prisca gets married now, I will be the only girl left the in house,” Amara said. My father turned to her. “Go and born a girl naa, are you not old enough?” he said. Another argument was going to break out and replace my trending topic of the robbery. That was one thing I and Willie wasn’t going to allow. “Dad, our exams are starting next week,” I said and he turned to me. “Good, go and read,” he said. “My books are back at school and I need go back.” “I thought they stole everything?” he asked. “Armed robbers don’t steal books,” Willie chipped in. “Are you one?” my father asked him. “No, please don’t call my son a thief,I won’t take that, no way,” my mother protested. “I didn’t call him a thief, I was only asking if he was.” “Are you a thief?” my mother asked him. “God forbid,” he said and circled his hand over his head, snapping his fingers. “Then why ask him if he is one. He can only be a thief if one of his parents are and I am not a thief,” my mother said, eyeing him. My father turned to her with a frown. “I am not a thief, stop looking at me like that,” he said. Everyone laughed. Then I pressed further my charges. I told him my bed was also stolen and my room was bare, only my locker and books were spared.

    EPISODE 42

    “You have to change lodge then. You can’t be staying in a criminal infested area. How can someone come into another person’s room and pack everything like he is relocating?” my father asked. We kept quiet. I hated that idea of relocating, he might end up suggesting the school hostel for me, that was my fear. “You going over to temp site, I heard rents are cheaper there too,” he finally said and I heaved a sigh. “That would be next semester,”I said and he nodded. “But I need to get back to school and I need to buy somethings like phone, mattress, pillows and I even need a laptop for my online reading,” I sang out as the smile disappeared from his face and broke out on Willie’s. The mattress theft was his idea. He was organizing a graduation party and he had blown the tuxedo money on booze and girls and had nothing for the party. We were in agreement to share the loot. “You will take your mother’s phone and laptop, I don’t think she is using them,” he said and shifted further from her, avoiding an impending blow. We came to a conclusion, he would provide the money for the items after he might have done a market survey for them. He thought I was a crook and might inflate the prices. I had no problem with that, let him bring the money first. He came back the next day with a brand new laptop and an android phone, a very good phone I must confess. But then, Willie was moved to tears, not tears of joy, mind you. It was tears of pain, all his plans on doing an apriko on those items had been dashed against the wall and what was more, my father had already ordered for a new mattress to be delivered to the house the next day, he was going to drop me off at school with them. Apparently, no money for Willie’s party and new tuxedo. ******* There are three tiers of Government, the executive, the legislative and the Judiciary. The three functions separately and as we know. The Legislative makes the law, the Executive enforces it and the Judiciary interprets it. I am not here to lecture you on Administrative Law, I am just trying to tell you that those powers are separated but in my house, it’s works like the trinity, Three persons in one God. My father alone controls these three powers in our family. He makes the law, interprets it and enforces it all by himself and you can’t seek redress in a court, that’s because he will be the judge and will rule against you and enforce the judgement on you. That was it. All my mother does is to complain, successfully some times and unsuccessful most of the time with legal backing from us his children. All of a sudden, he decided I wasn’t going back to my lodge. I got a girl pregnant and got robbed and beaten to stupor there. The place was a bad omen according to him and the next bad news might be that I raped a girl. “Are you sure he will be able to concentrate in this house?” my mother had asked and my father continued in his interpretation of his own law. “All I am saying is, since he has no property at school now, he should write his exams from this house. After all when I was in the University, I didn’t live in a lodge.” “That was because you lived in the school hostel,” my mom said. “What’s the difference? Home and hostel?” “There is a big difference, it’s you that will start disturbing him with watching of cars and other chores.” Lovebirds, that’s how they show their own love, argue and argue. One can easily tell an argument that my father would win right before it has even started. I was going to write my exams from the house and next semester, I was moving into a new lodge, that was the verdict as pas*ed by my father and soon to be enforced. So I left for my room, Amara was waiting there for me already. She had received the news of my temporal homecoming with unrivaled joy. Her baby boy was going to spend some time with her. She was growing and glowing too. She would have been my proper side chic if she wasn’t a relation. “Won’t you go to your room,” I asked without joy in my voice. I was a bit angry at my father’s decision. If for nothing, I was going to miss shape’s steady presence. “Are you chasing me away,” she asked, standing up from the bed. I sized her up and decided to cheer up a bit. She was my only refuge in that trying time. “No, come here,” I said and made her sit on my lap while I frisked her amazing body in her sleek black gown. Only the scent of her body will make a virgin guy cum. “So you will start going to school from the house?” she asked me, I nodded and added “For a short while shaa.” “It doesn’t matter. At least you will be here for long.” I nodded and focused on my karma sultra with her. My lips on her neck, up to her ear and finally her lips. She was all jittery and pulled her lips away to continue the gist. “Do you know that Chidimma is pregnant?” she asked me. “So what?” I asked and picked up her lips again. She pulled them away again and stared at me. Then I remembered Chidimma her friend. I stopped the romance. “Pregnant?” I asked her. She nodded and my heart thumbed. “Sit on the bed,” said to her and she obeyed. Just then, my door banged open and Willie bumped in. “Amara go and wash plates, I want to have a senior men discussion,” he said to her, Amara frowned. “There is no plate to wash. All of them have been washed.” “Go down and see if someone is calling you,” he said and pulled her up, gently pushing her out. He turned to me on the bed. “I need help from you,” he said. “I don’t have money,”I said with a frown. The gist Amara gave me was dealing with me internally. “It’s not money,” he said and sat beside me. “What?” “It’s shape.” I turned to look at him, getting interested in what he was going to ask for all of a sudden. “Ehe?” “I need you to keep her busy next week Sunday.” “Why?” I asked “My party is on that day and I had invited her earlier on. Now This girl, Chinelo is around and I don’t need a version 2 of what happened at my lodge to happen in my party, its going to be a deadly party crasher, so I don’t need her to attend the party at all,” he explained and I nodded. “That’s very easy, keeping her busy is easy, we are already relating on another level. So we will just spend the time together that day,” I said and he shot me a terrible look. “What do you mean spend time together?” he asked. “You know naa, how else can I keep her busy?” I asked. “No, I need you at my party. You can’t stay with her, just figure out a way to do it. You can find a guy to take her out or lock her up in that your lodge,” he said and stood up with a stretch and a yawn. “We will find a way,” I said and he nodded, then turned in a fast twist at me. “I just heard what you said now,” he said. I stared at him all confused. “What was that?” I asked. “You said you are relating on another level?” I nodded slowly. “You are exploring her Savannah?” he asked me. No reaction from me. The look on his face made it impossible for me to react. “Are you aware that shape has this problem with reasoning about things?” he asked me, pointing his hand to his head. “How?” “Don’t you know that she is going to tell Chinaza?” he said and sat down on the bed again. “Listen, I didn’t say she may or might tell Chinaza, I said she will tell her about it. Abi you don’t know that she is accusing Naza of pushing Nelo back to me?” “So?” I asked. “She will tell her that she is f**king you just to get back at her and Naza will poison you, Shape and your baby in her womb. Shebi I told you to stop being an amateur.” I looked up and down. I was getting rusty with this player thing. I think I just like sex a lot and not fine girls. I wasn’t much bothered with shape leaking our romantic secret to my bae at that point in time. All that stood before me was Chidimma being pregnant. I should stop touching all these amateur girls. Not that I was scared that the pregnancy will be mine, after all, I can’t be the only one f**king a girl like her. It just can’t be mine, someone cannot score an own goal twice, that would be madness and I am not mad, my sperm is not mad. “So what will I do?” I asked him. “Nothing. Just wait for the poison but before then, make sure you keep her busy on Sunday and attend my party. You need serious tutorial on dating more than two girls, I wonder what you think I meant when I said she was going to revenge it all on you.” That was it, he stood up and left the room, pushing Amara back inside. She came and sat beside me. “So as I was saying, you know Chidi that leaves down the road?” she asked. “That toad head? The one his legs looks like plier?” I asked and she nodded with a laugh. “Yes, what about him?” I asked. “Chidimma is saying that he is responsible.” I heaved a heavy sigh and my heart rate slacked by a 100 beats. “But I am not sure she is right. I think the baby should be yours. I don’t want her to give your baby to someone else.” I nearly flogged her out of my room.

    EPISODE 43

    My exams wasn’t going to stop me from partying away Willie’s 5 years at school celebration. First, it was my only brother’s birthday and second, I loved parties. Who knows, I may land myself a confirm chica at that one party. It was a lot of stress going from my house to my former lodge, as it is now, to convince Shape to allow James take her out on that given Sunday. “Why should I let James take me out?” she had asked me, almost shooting me out of my chair with her eyes. “Because you need it. See how you are losing weight because of Willie while Willie is adding flesh. You need to go out and flex and be happy,” I explained, searching for a better reason to make her stay out of that party. “And you can’t take me out yourself?” she asked. “Me? Noo. I have a condolence visit to attend with my father in the village that sunday,” I said, scratching my head. Fortunately for me, only Naza knows that I always scratch my head whenever I tell a very bloody lie. “Let James do it baby, you will have fun,” I emphasized. “Did he send you to come and tell me?” she asked. I shook my head. I hadn’t even told James about the plan. He was planning on how he was going to take over all the ladies at Willie’s party, now I am there, making an arrangement that will tie him up with Shape throughout that Sunday. Not that he won’t enjoy it though. Only a gay won’t love a hookup with a Shape like Shape. Even a gay will be thrilled a bit. “I am not going anywhere abeg, If you or Willie won’t take me out, then forget it,” she declared and I fell back on my seat, eyeing her and extracting a smile on her pretty face with the looks in mine. “Why are you even so bothered with having me hang out?” she asked and I pulled closer to her. “Because I care about you sweetheart. I want when Willie comes back. I want him to see how happy you are and even how more beautiful you are and how more shapy you are. Then he won’t ever dump you again,” I sang out. She smiled and frowned again. “Chinecherem shebi I told you to stop calling me shape?” “Me? Stop calling you shape? The day I stop calling you that is the day I stop loving you. Do you want me to stop loving you?” I asked and she shook her head. “So you see. Try and be happy, flex your life and you will see how that stupid Willie will come running back to you. Your curves are even more dangerous than a sharp bending corner even better than that Chinelo own,” I said and she went into a laughing fit. Now she was relaxed and I made my demands again. “Please let someone take you out. I love you, Willie loves you and James loves you. Chinaza over loves you sef and we need you to be happy, very happy. Just let James flex you on Sunday,” I said, rubbing her laps and trying not to sleep with her at that point in time. “No, you will take me,” she said “Shebi I told you that I am going for burial on sunday?” “No problem, you will take me out next 2 weeks Sunday,” she said and relaxed on the bed. “Willie’s graduation party is this Sunday by the way so I am busy as it is.” I froze. That was the subject I had been trying so hard to erase off her mind. The exact reason I am trying to book her up with someone else to keep her busy. Now she just remembered. The more reason she will refuse to even go out on Sunday even if I wanted to take her out myself. Either ways, I was too tired to pursue it any further. I just sat back on my innoson rubber chair. “That’s true,” I whistled, guaging up Shapes protruding chest. “So you won’t go?” she asked me, snapping me out of my evil thoughts. “Why not. I am going for sure. Who will now rock the party if I don’t go?” She eyed me for some seconds and then I realized she may find out the real reason I wanted James to take her out but then, that was none of my business and I was guessing she wasn’t bright enough to figure that out. “I thought you said you will be going for a condolence visit with your father?” she asked me. “Not any more, the Person didn’t die again,” I said and started a whistle. She fell on the bed and started her b**bs shaking laughter. I just watched in amazement how a 19 year old girl like her could amas* such mas*ive juggs and they still stood firm and round. I checked my wrist watch and the time was 4pm. I had to start going home before my father would ask me if we wrote our exams with candle. I stood up and shape followed suit. She was sexy enough but I was in a repentance mode. I have cautioned myself from banging girls anyhow. It wouldn’t kill me. “See you soon,” I said, falling into her overly loaded hug. One that pinned me against her b**bss and had me mas*aging her every tiny bit of her backside. “So you and I will go to that party together,” she said and I nodded. I kissed her goodbye and ran out of the room for my house. ******** I spent the first 1 hour plus of the party inside the toilet, offloading the tons of alcohol in my system into the WC through my mouth. The party kicked off around 6pm in the evening but for us, the close as*ociates of the celebrant. The party started the moment we got to Willie’s lodge. The booze was killing and for those that loved the herb, there was more than enough. Never knew Willie was a skunk. He was simply too clean to be suspected. The room was like some party house in Jamaica. Every tiny hole was filled with smokes from the weed. I just sat on the bed, clutching my green bottle and getting high on the weed being smoked by others. The God of signs and wonders had done it for us. Shape suddenly decided she wasn’t coming for the party, of her own accord and James was more than happy that my hook up attempt had failed. He was enjoying the weed with the rest of the guys and getting high and mighty. That was how I got drunk and landed myself in the hotel’s banquet hall’s toilet. Back to the party. There was enough exposure of flesh and a whole lot of people present didn’t even know what the party was all about. They just came to have fun. As for Willie, I think he had smoked and drunk himself into a state where I was actually guessing he had forgotten that he was hosting the party with 5 other guys of his who were also graduating. James was busy, jumping from one behind to the other and trying to get every chic within his clas* for himself. Me, Chinecherem, I was just on the floor of the toilet, my face in the bowl of the WC, throwing the alcoholic content into the toilet. It didn’t last tho. I had dragged myself off the floor and into the party hall. I didn’t want to miss the action. I staggered to and fro and soon found myself behind one incredible booty, clutching and twisting to my taste. The drinks, the weed and the girls were free. The party was getting to its fun climax when Chinelo bumped in with another set of her cute friends and the word, Fun was redefined. The dj cranked it up higher and the hall throbbed. Chinelo secured her as*et which was Willie and I searched around to see if I could find a Chinaza replica. I couldn’t but girls with good body like shape were around. I picked another green bottle to replenish the one I had lost and attached myself to a free girl. She wasn’t with any guy and was busy rocking another chic, a fellow girl. It pained me deep to my heart to watch a pretty, curvy thang like her wasting all those natural resources on a fellow girl that wouldn’t appreciate them more than I would. I walked for her. Excuse me dance was trending all over the hall so I just said that and she obliged me. The she threw herself at me and we threw all cautions to the wind. The chica got real grind and she rocked the sweet bejesus out of me. I dropped my bottle to the floor, gently and held her tight with both hands. She was as soft as cotton and my bulge just scratched her meaty behind. She didn’t mind and instead came for my dick with her booty, twisting it with each twist of her waist. I wound my arms around her the closure became tighter. My body on hers and hers on mine. She turned after some minutes of backing me and a change of rhythm. She faced me and our face came closer. I could smell the weed right of her breath. She was pretty, sexy and stoned. That was the baddest combination you can ever get in a girl. Only a rich or lucky guy can have that kind of girl for the night and I count myself as lucky. I wasn’t going to let that one off my grasp in a long while. Our face came together and without a hint, she plucked my lips right there on the dance floor. She tasted sweet so I encouraged the soft romance until she let go herself. She had started it so I wasn’t pissed that she ended it. She walked out of the floor to the nearby bar and reached for my bottle on the floor. I picked it off the ground and it was empty already. How manage, I didn’t know. I walked after her and met her mixing her glas* of Hennessy with a bit of codeine and wiping the sweat off her brow. “What are you doing?” I asked as the proper novice that I was. “Boiling water,” she said and drowned the glas* in a gulp. I kept looking at her with my mouth ajar. She did another mixing and pushed the glas* to me. I wanted to appear the correct bad guy so I did my own gulping, nearly coughing my eyes out from the acrid taste of the cognac in my throat. She let out a little smile out the corner of her mouth and turned to walk away. “Where are you going?” I asked. “The toilet,” she said and I nodded. “Go, I will wait here,” I said and she kept standing where she was, looking at me in a way I couldn’t understand. “What?” I asked after some seconds of staring match between us. “I said am going to the toilet,” she said. I spread my hands. “So what?” “Come with me,” she said, giving me a look that hardened my dick at the prospect of what was lurking begin her mind. I jumped at her and she dragged me off to the ladies.

    EPISODE 44

    We walked through with all eyes on me like a celebrity. I wasn’t a celebrity, I was just at the wrong place with the right girl. “What are you doing here?” one of the girls there asked. “I am the plumber, I came to fix the pipe,” I replied as the girl dragged me into one of the toilets and locked the door. There was no time for dallying. Her pants went down and her skirt went up. Then she placed her left foot on the closed WC and pulled me closer as my trouser dropped to the floor. It was all rocking again as the party seemed like it would never end. People were disappearing in a pair of male and female and reappearing back more closer and exasperated. Willie had done his own disappearing and reappearing with Nelo after she had nearly raped him on the dance floor, courtesy of her indulging in too much drink and a little weed, I counted up to 3 times that they had disappeared and reappeared. James was simply no where to be found as I and my new girl snuggled to each other, all wet with sweat and the sperm that had missed the entry point. At the corner, a guy sat on the floor crying his eyes out to an audience. “Nna what is it naa?” A guy had asked him and he let out a high pitch sob before replying. “I was coming here with my Range Rover, my only Range Rover. My 2019 Model Range Rover,” he paused and put his hand against his chest and cried again. “Oga what happened to the car?” Someone asked again. Somehow a huge part of his audience was finding the whole thing funny, some laughing away at the drama. “The jeep fell into the river and disappeared. My Range Rover disappeared,” the guy wailed. “And my mother was in that car.” “Make we comot here. Na highness dy worry this one, he don high.” one of the guys said. Everyone turned with laughter and started walking away. The wailing guy changed his tone. “Nna, the things wey dy happen for this country dy pain me,” he cried as I walked into the dance floor with my stoned chic. We went into another round of smoking and drinking back at Willie’s lodge. Chinelo had kissed the tip of the gun powder again and it was so close to driving her nuts. I did my own bit of the kissing and the funny feelings it gave me wasn’t funny in anyway. I then understood why my guy back at the party was talking about driving his 2019 range into a river along with his mother. Someone once said, “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” I came to believe that saying at my elder brother’s lodge. Only problem was that there was more to that saying. The weed not only reveals you to yourself, it also reveals nonsense to you. Somehow, someway. Everyone around looked like Naza to me. Even the guys. I was moving from one guy to the other, hugging and pecking them and yelling, “I love you man, I really love you all.” Somehow through all the highness, I managed to carve out my trap queen. She had taken a peep into the room and was gone almost immediately. I staggered up from where I sat and staggered my way out into the dark night. She was leaning on the wall with a lit stick in her hand. She was all meaty in her black singlet and white bumshot. Thick cloud of smokes kept escaping from both her nose and mouth. “Can I share?” I asked and she shrugged, giving me the tip of the weed and I took a kiss. Then she dropped it to the floor and I held her. “Do you live here?” I asked and she groaned a yes in between the kisses. My hand slid down to her camel toe and I rubbed it. She bit my lips and shoved me away. “You are going to dirty my cloth,” she said and dug her fingers into her coochie, pulling them out with the sticky fluid. “You can wash them later in the morning,” I said. “Are you now going to f**k me with my clothes on?” “No, I was getting to the part where I romantically pull them off but you pushed me away,” I complained and she smiled. She led me inside her room. The room was rather too clean for the girl I am thinking her to be. She stood staring at me while I looked around the whole place. “So?” she said, spreading her hands. “So?” I replied. “I thought you wanted to romantically undress me?” “Cool,” I said and started with her bumshot. There was nothing romantic about the way I tore it down. I guess if it involved pulling down a bumshort and ripping off panties, it automatically turns to Romance. She helped me out of my trouser and started off with a blowjob, sucking at it like she would suck at a stick of cigar. The way she looked up at me while she clipped my dick in between her lips, those eyes of hers. They could make a nigga cum straight out but I wasn’t that type of man. I needed a proper hole. I let her play with my tool for a while before I pulled her up and lay her on the bed. Lucky enough, the blast of music in Willie’s room drowned our moans as we screamed the roof off. I was beaten up the next day by Willie. I was on the floor and my trap queen was no where to be found. “Where is she?” I asked, kneeling on the rug and wiping my face with my hands and giving out a huge yawn. “Where is who?” he asked me. “The girl, the one I left with,” I said and tried remembering her name. It then occurred to me that we exchanged weed, dranks, dicks and pus*y but not our names. Willie understood that and let out his dry laughter. “You should know her, after all she lives in your lodge,” I said and stood up after my knees had been paining me. “That one? She doesn’t live here,” Willie said and I stared at him, trying to see the joke in his eyes. “What do you mean? Who owns this room then?” “Her boyfriend, one very mean guy like that.” My mouth was wide open for a couple of seconds. “That girl is mad. What if the nigga had walked in on us,” I asked, seconds after closing my mouth. “And he has a gun. As in the type that splits the brain into two,” Willie said. My jaw dropped again. “But don’t worry, the guy is doing one week I. T in anti cult’s cell. He will be coming back in the evening,” he continued. I didn’t let him finish. I packed my clothes on the floor and walked my way back into my brothers room. James was there, smoking the stub of a weed. The nigga was addicted already. We spent the rest of the day, drinking the left over liquor and sharing sticks of weed. No food was in sight and the more we smoked, the hungrier we got and the more we smoked. “Do you know where the girl went to?” I asked Willie as I handed him over the leftover burning stick. “No, but it’s not very hard to find her. Just locate all the uncompleted buildings around this area. By the time you have seen five of them, you must have seen where she is buying weed,” Willie replied casually. It was so damn funny but that was exactly what I did. So many uncompleted lodges littered the whole place but I was lucky enough to meet her on her way home. I was able to as*ume it was her due to her peculiar curves. She had a bit of gap in between her thighs, a sexy one and I took the few seconds we spent apart to examine her properly and she was every inch my favorite type of girl except the part of her that loves weed and drinks, well, life was an adventure and I was willing to explore that type of girl. I cuddled her right there on the street and she pecked me, her mouth having the smell of a mixture of Marijuana and Pepper mint. “Where did you go?” I asked as we walked back home, my ever horny hand on her waist, hers on mine. “I went to see a friend,” she replied. “What is your name by the way? I asked. “Tasha,” she murmured. “Did you say Shisha?” I asked with a load of surprise in my face. I shouldn’t be surprised in the first place. For a girl like her that loved weed like I loved my mother, her name could be Anwuru [smoke] too, it wouldn’t matter. She laughed and pinched me. “I said Tasha, as in Natasha.” “Ooh, I am Chinecherem,” I said and she nodded. “I know.” “How did you know?” I asked her. “You told me last night, many times.” “How come you didn’t tell me yours?” “I told you mine, many times but you were too high,” she said and laughed. I only imagined how much I had embarras*ed myself that night. We landed at Willie’s door like a bunch of witches. “Where did you find her?” Willie asked as he tore a pack of spaghetti. “In the church nearby,” I said. He laughed hard and long. “This one? Church?” Willie’s friend asked. “Yes, Maybe she went to smoke the frankincense,” Willie said. I stifled a laughter. She rolled her eyes at him with a smile on her face. “This one that can smoke anything as so far say e dy comot smoke. Even car exhaust pipe,” Willie Said again. Everyone laughed. Tasha dragged me off to her room. I had no business with those high guys. They didn’t have a pus*y and Tasha had better food. Not that I didn’t go back to eat the spaghetti with Willie and Co. I left the lodge with James later in the day. Against both our wills but everything that had a start has an end. I left with Tasha’s number and she stayed back with mine. She was beautiful and hot and sexy and bad. I needed to hook up again sometime in the future. We hit my former lodge around 3 pm and I met shape there. James was already feeling sleepy, so was I. So he went into his room and I went into shape’s. There was no rest with Shape, so she dragged me into another Romance. One that left her with only her wrapper around her waist and I with only my boxers on. We were at it when the door opened and Chinaza stood there. Her tummy bulging and her eyes bulging too. I withdrew from Shape in 0.1 seconds and stood facing Chinaza. “I don f**k up again,” I yelled in my mind. I couldn’t exactly describe the look on my face as Naza just stood there, shaking her head at me with her eyes getting wet. She moved in a little and like a pack of cards, she slumped to the ground.

    EPISODE 45

    We were at the hospital. Only my father knew how I managed to get Naza there. I mean my father in heaven not my daddy. I had managed to throw a singlet over my body and wore a short that shape had forced me too. I had lifted Naza and was insisting on taking her to the hospital wearing only my boxers. We kept pacing the hospital hallway, I and Shape. We had been over 1 hour at it before Willie and Chinelo joined us. The tensile atmosphere didn’t stop Shape from rolling her eyes at him and letting out a loud hiss. She then walked far away from where he was. “What happened?” he asked me, ignoring Shape’s drama. Chinelo was already tugging at my hands. I was tempted to give him the full gist, I was really f**ked and in a frantic mode but then, I couldn’t explain that Chinaza fainted when she saw me and Shape on each other, not when Chinelo was there. “She came into my room and fainted. I don’t know how or why but she just slumped to the floor,” I explained. “Chim o,” Chinelo gasped and threw her hands on her head. “Where is she now?” “Inside, the doctor is with her, they said we should stay out.” “And is she awake yet?” Willie asked me. “I don’t know, that what they are trying to do I think.” It was a hell of a situation. Naza had slumped at my former lodge. I had no business being there and she too had no business being there. She had caught me and Shape in a position we had no business being in. The situation was indeed one hell of a situation. Chinelo called her Mom in an instant and then the pacing continued with me doing the longest milage. Chinelo kept her eyes on Willie and ensured he maintained a certain distance from shape. Not like Shape cared. She wasn’t even going to look at him. Over 30 minutes later, my folks came. Daddy and mummy and along with Naza’s folks too. We walked into her ward and she was just there, seated on her bed and was biting the hell out of her lips, her hands on her waist. I was live on Nollywood. “Maybe she broke her hips on the floor,” I thought to myself. I hadn’t even considered the baby in her belly. How naive of me that was. I wasn’t inconsiderate or insensitive. I was just too small to know any ish about a pregnant woman, forget that I wasn’t too small to put it in there in the first place. Then there was a rumor about an impending labor and then Naza pissed herself. It was so obvious, the water tickling down the bedspread and Naza’s restlessness increasing by the minute. I walked up to her, I was guessing she was in so much pain to bear a malice with me. I held her hand but I was wrong. She brushed my hands off and stood on the floor weakly. “I’m f**ked,” I muttered under my breath and moved back to stare from afar. It wasn’t a pretty sight and I just stared from a distance with Willie and the two father’s with us. Shape was no where to be found. Naza would scream her head off if she dared come closer. “She fainted in your room?” My father asked me in a pitiful tone. I nodded. “Your room?” he repeated and I got the gist too late. “We were as in. I went to collect some things and she and we.. ” I stammered incoherently and he kept giving me that dehumanizing stare. “Was the party at your lodge or William’s lodge?” he asked me. A lot of explanations followed. We didn’t get to conclude before preliminaries were done and Naza was bundled into the labor room. Things dragged on for a long while, a very long space of time in which I said my first prayer for months. I prayed she make it out of that freaking room alive. I wasn’t scared of what her folks would say or do, I was just scared for myself. What I would do should anything happen to her. I was going to jump off the second floor of that hospital building. Yes, that was what I intended doing. Everyone was on their nerves end. Somehow, a lot of delay had to take place, a lot of technical jargons was involved, jargons which I only understood the part that said my Naza was still alive. Then the doctor and his team disappeared. Nobody slept into the night. My father and her father had left. Willie was there, Nelo too. I had asked Shape to go home. Her presence there was freaking every one out and would also freak Naza out if she woke up and see her there. 5 am, I was seated at the hospital’s lounge and nodding away. Willie was already sleeping away with Nelo’s head on his laps. He thought the whole place was boring. So many beautiful Chica nurses to look at but no access to them because his other half was there with a leash on him. 6:35 am and we were all brought in to her ward. My mom and her mom taking the lead. My feet dragged from guilt and tiredness as we all flocked into her room. She was lying there on the bed, looking exhausted and the hospital cradle was by her side, the baby cries filling the whole of it. I saw the smile break out on my mother’s face as Naza mom put her hands to her chest in a deep show of emotion. I think she actually cried or was close to. I kept staring at the cradle from a afar like it was my semester result. I couldn’t get closer because my heart was pounding and I didn’t know why. “Hei, come and see Chinecherem junior o!” Nelo yelled, digging her hands into the cradle. Her mother hushed her. “Do you want to infect him?” She said and I frowned. A him? Apparently, Naza had won. Willie rushed at the baby and smiled. He turned to me and nodded. “No dispute bro. This one is yours. Carbon copy.” I turned to Naza with a pitiful look in my face. I felt like I needed her permission to see the baby. I had hurt her deeply and something was telling me that she would shush me away from the kid. She threw her face to the wall, away from my eyes. Soon, everyone was all over her, congratulating and asking how she was doing. Only Nelo threw a congratulation at me. I took the chance and sneaked up to the cradle. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Clean as crystal and handsome like his father, his mother’s skin. He was a neat ball of human flesh, the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. Maybe it was because he was mine. I didn’t care. He was the most beautiful by his father’s standard, by my own very standard. Yes! I was the father. I fell in love immediately and was nearly moved to tears. I was the lawful owner of a living thing. I am the father to a handsome baby boy. I was the daddy to my sweetheart’s son. I loved the feeling. The thrill was extraordinary. “I love you,” I murmured. “Please stay away from him,” Naza said at me. Everyone went quiet for a split second. Then Chinelo asked “Why?” My heart thumbed. “Nothing, just stay away from my baby,” she repeated. My father came in at that instance and her father too. They had been called up the moment we were ushered into the room. You could easily see the happiness in both their faces. The baby was beautiful and I thought giving Naza the unwanted pregnancy was worth it after all. I just thought it, I didn’t say it out. And then the doctor walked in with the matron, a baby wrapped in a fluffy white towel in her arms and a broad smile on her face. I watched with confusion all over me. So did everyone else except Naza. “The second one. A beautiful baby girl,” the woman said and my jaw dropped. “Wait, from where? Did you store them in a warehouse?” My father asked. Everyone laughed and then fell on the baby girl as she was laid near her brother. They were twins. It was like Christmas. Naza and I both got the present we wished for. The girl was an improved version of her brother. I was guessing she would be more beautiful than Naza. Naza was smiling this time around and she didn’t stop even when i stole a glance from her. “Who came first?” I asked, lost in Joy. “The boy,” the woman said. I smiled. “Naza I hope your breast is ready?” Nelo asked and ran to her on the bed. The laughter was in her eyes but not her face. “Congratulations,” the doctor said, holding his hand out to my father. My father picked it up in a firm handshake. “It wasn’t easy, your wife is really a strong one and your twins are beautiful,” he said. My father snatched his hadn’t away and I took the doctor’s hand without being offered, a broad smile on my face. “Thank you,” I sang out and everyone laughed. “Why are you all just looking? Carry them, they don’t have teeth yet and won’t bite,” the doctor said and everyone scampered for the little doves. My mother got the boy and Naza’s mother got the girl. Nelo and Willie were all over them with camera flashes. Everyone was happy, fully happy except I and Naza. We were happy but not as much as we ought to be. I messed up and the babies were welcomed between two feuding parents. Nevertheless, they were very beautiful and everyone loved them. And then my father drew closer to me. Somehow, I just knew he was going to misyarn. “So the work is split in two. I buy one pampers and you buy the other one,” he whispered. Everyone heard and everyone laughed. I and Naza inclusive. “Hmmm hmmm,” Naza’s father cleared his throat and turned to Nelo and Willie. “When are you two having yours?” “If you try that rubbish eh!” My mom yelled. My whatsapp dp, my Facebook dp, my twitter dp, my qq dp, my bbm dp, my Screensaver, my world was all a picture of those little cute things. Naza was always trying her best to keep me away but in the end, she will end up asking for me. We loved being around them and so did everybody. It wasn’t much of a public something but few people did come. It was easy for me as I wasn’t footing the bills. Naza looked sweet still but all stressed up. Either she was cuddling them to sleep or she was breast feeding them. It wasn’t easy and she was always taking the stress out on me. She would never take a minute break to tell me how unreliable I was. How much of a bad father I was going to be and she needed a better role model for our pumpkins, she didn’t need me around them and bla bla bla. I was at a time getting pissed at the constant nagging even though I deserved them to an extent but then, Naza was decorating me with it. But then, whenever I look at those two magnificences she had produced for me, I was always calm with a smile on my face. “And this is how you do it,” she said and clipped the diaper. I just crossed my hands and watched. She just needed another argument otherwise, I didn’t see any difference between what she just did and what I had done. The baby girl just lay on the bed in Chinaza’s room giggling gibberish. Chinelo was at the corner, waiting to have a laugh of her life. Chinaza had insisted the babies had no name yet until she is able to sit down and think out a name for them. For now, everybody can only call them baby boy and baby girl. Baby boy was already asleep on the bed. “So what did I just do?” I asked calmly. She picked the baby and dropped her next to her brother. “You clipped the diaper too hard. It will feel squeezy on her and will slow down the pas*age of blood,” she explained slowly. I carved a smile out the corner of my mouth. “Did she complain?” I asked slowly, moving back to avoid a slap that might spring up. And we were done for the day. She rarely talks sense to me these days so it’s either she is pummeling me with words or she was iterating how much the babies eyes looked like mine or how they had oval faces like mine, all against her wish. “I hope they don’t also grow up to be like you too,” she would say and let out a loud hiss. So I kept staring at the babies. They were real cute and comfy to hold. I had to wake the girl up again. I wanted to carry her to my fulfillment. Chinaza had gone to take her bath so it was all convenient for me. She let out a baby cry and I picked her from the bed into my arms. She stopped crying and I kept taking in the fresh baby scent from her body. I love the way new born babies smell. We were at our father and daughter business when Naza walked in, all wet with just a towel to cover her sexy body. “Who woke her up?” she asked, accusing me with her eyes already. “I was on my way out when she started crying,” I defended. “Then what happened?” she asked rhetorically and took her from me. “I don’t know, maybe the diaper was squeezy on her,” I said with a mock smile. She rolled her eyes and dropped the baby on the bed. She cackled and we smiled, individually. They were our new bond, the kids and we loved them as much as we loved each other. Chinaza wouldn’t admit it but I knew, we both wished we could just come to terms and tell each other how much happy we were together with two beautiful ones in between us. “Naza can we talk?” I asked her. She sat on the bed, sharing her powder between her and the giggling baby. “About what?” “Us, you and me.” I said, sitting on the bed and grabbing the baby’s finger. “Ok. Talk,” she said in a voice portraying no emotion. “You know my love for you is taller than this building?” I asked. “Yes, I know but your fvck up is taller than our church tower,” she replied. I ceased the urge to laugh, I wanted to be serious this time around. “Yes. I am sorry for those things. I just love you and now that we have these babies, I want us to be closer like we used to be, even more closer than we used to be,” I preached. She sat on the bed beside me. “You want us to be closer, now that we have these babies? Do you want to have another one?” she asked, trying to act like she misunderstood me. “Yes,” I said and nodded with a grin. “And who will now marry me after I must have given birth to 1 million children for you?” “I am here, I am not going into the seminary,” I said. “Me, marry you?” she asked. “Yes, was that not the plan before?” “No, I have changed my mind. I won’t even trust you with my daughter when she grows up.” “So you are now saying that I will be running after my own daughter?” I asked, getting angry all of a sudden. “Who knows?” she replied nonchalantly and that was it. I vexed. Stood up and brushed my trouser. “I am going,” I said and started walking for the door, hoping she would call me back like she always did the other days. She did no such thing. I walked back to the bed. My daughter was sleeping already, peacefully and calmly. I bent low and pecked her cheek, she woke up, much to Chinaza’s annoyance. She snapped at me and my boy woke up too. Good, if she was going to break my heart like that then she deserved a little punishment. She gave me her killer frown but I was too angry to care. She once told me that one of the reasons she loved me was because of my capacity to do absolutely stupid things, sleeping with her friend was not one of them though. I bade my goodbyes and headed for the door. She needed all the space she can get, her b**bss were about to get busy. And the days that followed were just like that. She was punishing me for what I did and I was even too ashamed to complain. So I bought her a flower. A very big bouquet and a teddy too. Though it cost me much more than I had expected. Never knew silly things like that cost much, that comes from having a girl like Chinaza that demands only for love and nothing else. It pained me paying that much, like a stuffed teddy going for 4k. I had argued with the dealer that I was buying a teddy bear and not a baby. I eventually got a red one. Red was the color of love and a red bouquet matched it. If she rejects it, I was going to give the teddy to the boy and the flowers to the girl. At least if I wasn’t a good boyfriend, I would be a good father. I was busy with the wrapping of the gifts in the confines of my room. Youtube was teaching me the job. Then Naza banged in. She rarely knocked. I hid the ribbon behind me, too clumsy that she noticed. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I bought things, for the babies,” I stammered. “And you.” She came for them. Flipping them around recklessly. Like she couldn’t give a shït, breaking my heart while at it. “Which one is mine?” She asked. “All of them, then decide the one you will dash out to the babes,” I replied. She smiled. A lovely smile. “Will you forgive me and accept me and my gift?” I asked. “I am cursed with you,” she replied and sat beside me. “I love you very much,” I confessed. “I know, let’s go and change baby diapers first.”

    EPISODE 46

    And we went to church. The twins cuddled to my hand and Chinaza strapping all the baby kits, we went to church together, the first after a long while now. We had loved going to church together when we first started our love story but had stopped when we saw how much of a barrier it was to some certain things we loved doing at the church. Like for example, Naza loved committing to God entirely whenever she was at the church, a thing so impossible if I was around to distract her with stupid talks. I loved to ogle at the girls around. Chinaza knew that and would never let me have a moment peep at any cute chic. To her, my attention should be at the altar at all times but I do get bored looking at something that hardly changes. The altar is always the same design and it’s always the same priest and the same method of worship but the chics around? Mehn, they are always coming in different shapes and sizes and designs too. But today, we went together. I needed to help Naza hold the babies. She had disagreed with every reason why she should just put them to sleep and come to the church. After all, it was a 2 hours affair and she would soon be home to them. We sat together, side by side, like couples. I didn’t complain. Naza was cute so I was cool with it. Everything worked out just fine, Naza held Chinecherem while I held Chinaza. She spent more time trying not to make him remember he would be needing a suck of the breast so I was able to sneak a look at different girls at a time. Most of them had their eyes on us. We were one hell of a cinema, prolly the youngest couple in the church at that moment. Like I said, everything went just fine until the door was opened to latecomers, that was before the sermon took place. A lot of them latecomers flooded into the church. Then my eyes locked with this very pretty girl. She flashed me a pretty smile and I flashed her one back. I turned to ensure Naza wasn’t aware of the mild eye romance happening between us. I turned and met her, face to face, eyeball to eyeball. She wasn’t smiling and her teeth dug into her natural pink lips. “Are you still talking with Freda?” she asked me. I shook my head rigorously. “Why were you staring at each other then?” she asked me again. I shrugged. “Nothing. Our eyes just met besides I haven’t even seen in over a hundred years and I told you I don’t like her name.” “You don’t like her name or you don’t like her?” “I don’t know again, let’s not start arguing about a girl right here in the church. Besides, you are far better looking than she is so you have no need to be jealous or complain,” I said and turned to face the altar. I wasn’t lying. “I am better looking than all of those girls you are always running after,” she said. I turned to her with a smile at the corner of my face. She had one on hers too. “Don’t brag,” I whispered. She struck my laps. “Face the altar,” she commanded. I did just that, with one of my eyes though. The other was on Freda and she had all her attention on me. Freda wasn’t just a girl I wanted a mere fling with, I had loved her, like so genuinely and she had loved me back. I thought I could manage her with Naza but I soon came to realize that it was easier managing five estates than managing two magnificent beauties. Freda had wanted me and everything about me, she didn’t want to leave any part of me for Naza. That was so impossible because Naza was the Queen. Freda could easily be likened to a princess. She was sweet in her own ways but she gave me no space to run my extra package. She spent more time in my house than she spent in hers and when Naza had come back from school to catch her in my room with her top off and her bra on the way to going off too, the devil had his laugh. Naza was just herself then and there. She had tapped Freda on the laps and pointed at my door. “Get out,” she had said calmly but her eyes were brimstones. Freda had opened and closed her mouth, sharing quick glances between the door, Naza and I. I swallowed hard. Naza was obviously fidgeting for a fight and it sure wouldn’t be a fight between them. Naza would beat her silly. Don’t ask how I knew, I just know. “Naza,” I started but she held her finger to her lips, gesturing me to keep my mouth closed. “Shut up!” she had snapped at me and turned to Freda. “I said get out!” she had yelled it this time around. I got lucky, my door opened and Willie walked in. We made eye contact and he turned to Freda. “Frey come,” he had said to her. She didn’t waste a breath. She had grabbed her top and ran to Willie and they bounced out of my room. Naza turned to me. I opened my mouth and closed them again and then opened them again. “I was helping her stitch her top,” I stammered. She had pushed me to the bed and walked out on me. I sacrificed the bunch of flowers on our dining to win her back to me again and when it was over, only the flower vase was left. Freda did try to take me away from her but she hit a rock at it. I loved her though and she loved me too but she didn’t want to share me and I didn’t want to lose Naza. We were just 17 then and I was in my Ss3 clas*. Now we were at the church and a bell inside of me kept ringing. The bell that always rang each time I was going to kick it off with a girl. Naza happens to hear that bell most times whenever we were together and when it was offering time, she made us change seat to a totally different section of the church. The married people section. Like I said, I can never eye a married woman and Naza knew that. From my house to her house. That was our new circle of life. None of those circles led us into a bed though. She was uptight about that part of our affair, again. So I have really learnt a lot about taking care of babies, the only part I still have a problem with is breastfeeding them. I have never tried that though, I don’t have big b**bss like their mom. That’s the only part Naza would never invite me to help her out with. We did every other thing together. From changing their diapers to singing them to sleep. We finally gave them a name. It was on a bright sunny day and their 2 months birthday. Chinaza was feeling happy with herself and every other person else. Reason was she had a very nice sleep that night, at my expense though. I had dealt with the babies midnight cries while she slept away on her bed with an earplug to her ear. “See how beautiful she is looking,” she had chirped while adjusting baby girl’s hair ribbon. “So do we call her beautiful?” I asked. “No, what kind of name is that?” “Then pretty?” I asked again. She shook her head. “Call them Bonnie and Clyde,” Willie suggested. “God forbid,” we shouted in unison. “Benedict and Scholastica,” her mother suggested. “Too churchy,” I moaned. “Call them John and Bull abeg. These foods and drinks are getting old,” Willie complained, eyeing the food on the table. “Fine, we will think about it,” Naza said. Willie got up from the sopha and made for the steaming food and drinks. “Let’s eat first,” he said. Naza moved the table further from him. “No, we will eat after we had thought out a name for the babies.” Everyone grumbled. Then we sat there, for over 15 minutes, searching for sexy names for our beautiful babies. Naza had allowed nobody else to suggest a name for them, she would do it herself. Apparently, it wasn’t that easy. 2 months gone and she was still at it. We were so naive at that parenting of a thing and worse still, they came in twos. “We will give you two 10 more minutes to say something or we will give them whatever names we like,” My father said finally. “Yes, 10 minutes,” Willie supported, spinning a bottle of Heineken in his hands. “Chinecherem, you name the girl and your wife will name the boy,” my father finalized. The time started ticking. We had our eyes on each other. Who would have thought that an ordinary task of naming babies could put one in so much a hot seat. “Tick- tock” “Tick-tock” “Tick- tock” the time ticked and then 12 minutes gone, we had 2 minutes grace. “So, are you ready?” he asked again. The ladies around were laughing out at our anxiety. We nodded. “1 – 2 – 3 – Go!” Willie called. “Chinaza,” I snapped and Naza followed it up with “Chinecherem.” “Good, now we can eat, ” Willie said and reached for the table. Everyone followed suit. I and Naza kept staring at each other, like we needed to verify if we had chosen the right names. Willie took a long drag of the green bottle and smirked his lips. “Ehe, what did you say their names were again?” he asked. “Star and lager,” Chinaza answered with a hiss.

    EPISODE 47

    Bros came around. He is my mother’s little brother’s son. He is like 2 years older than Willie. That was a rough guess. Jidenna is his name but we out of respect addressed him as Bros Jide. Small talks going around had it that he thought Willie how to be a clown and a ladies guy. He too was a clown of his own. As the stories went, it was in our little village that Willie was tutored. Back when Bros was sent to take care of my mother’s mother, our grandmother. He took care of himself and the Chics instead. Then Willie went on holidays to the Village. He came back all baptized and became a new being in the game. He told me tales about it. How Bros will tell him to change his playboy orientation. He told him how he needs to let those cheap girls be. There was no fun in running after them, they always had a “Yes” ready for your advances so there was no challenge in it and there was less fun. “You have to make a deep chase mehn. When you do that and then she finally falls, bro girls like that who take time to fall when they eventually fall, they fall head over heels and then you have their remote control, their proper mumu but*on.” That was how Bros Jide always preaches. He would often say, “If I wanted a cheap girl and cheap sex I would go to the brothel. It’s not expensive and the girls are cleaner.” That was how he Godfathered Willie in the affairs of the skirts. So he was around the house and everywhere was as hot as can be. He had a bit of cash and it was just us alone. I feasted long enough on his benevolence, always buying a thing or two for my baby and our babies and telling her they were exclusively paid for by me. We spent 15 minutes of each day in chemist shops either pricing condoms or postinor 2 and always came home singing and all drunk. He would notice the way his sister, Amarachi would stare at me and the way I replied the look, then he would ask. “Come, are the two of you drinking from the forbidden stream?” I would shake my head and ask him why I would want to drink from that waters with my own blood. “I don’t know about you shaa but I would have not only drank from that stream but bathed in it with Ujunwa your sister if she was my agemate,” he would say and we would stagger into my room to plan out for the next day, flushing used condoms into the toilet. I wasn’t up to 35% sure I was going to make heaven but if I had another brother very close to me and he was Bros. I would be 100% sure of going straight to hell. Even then, the ladies down there wouldn’t be free from our torments, the fire notwithstanding. We would turn and toss on my bed discussing into the night about nothing but the ladies. He kept teaching me new things I needed to know, like how to deny a girl that might take in for me in the later future. That guy was savage. He wasn’t exactly sure as he says but he was guessing he might have fathered a couple of kids somewhere. Willie came home a couple of days later and a playboy gang was formed in our house. For a while, a very long while, I seemed to forget about my twins and my very fine girlfriend. It wasn’t my fault, just that Naza insisted on refusing me things as little as a French kiss and little sensational hugs here and there. I had bros and I had Willie and we had a lot of other girls to keep us busy. Girls who thought I was sexy and fun to be with. Little things that Naza would never agree to or would agree to once in a blue sun. She loves me no doubt but I am a guy and I loved hearing that once in a while. The day came that the playboy inc of my family’s chapter took a day out. Each to his chic. I hooked Freda up. It had been a while and I needed a break from all those times I kept awake to baby cries. I have been gone for a long while from them and their mother wasn’t complaining neither were they. Freda had turned into a proper slay queen but she still felt a thing or two for me and I still loved the shape of her body. We formed the perfect couple while bros and Willie hooked two random girls I had never met before. They were cute like they loved their girls to be and they ate us up like smoked fish. Starting from the joint. Bros was smiling all through. He had a couple of cash with him so we were good. The girls loved booze and that was what the guys loved. Drunk girls were bae except that Freda refused to get drunk. She was trying her best to reawaken what I thought was dead in her and me. The feelings that we had back then, when she could never go to bed without hearing my voice. Back when Willie would address her as my wife right before her and call her my third wife with her back turned. Yes, that feeling was great back then but I have no clue about now. In as much as Naza was being conservative with what she gave to me, I still loved her and would never want to hurt her that much. “So you are a father now,” she stated more than ask. I nodded slowly as the girl with Bros tried effortlessly to gain my attention with her eyes. The table was getting loaded with more drinks and Willie was busy ensuring that it was Heineken through out. He had high taste and it would be a pity if he ended up poor in life. “Are you now going to marry her?” she asked. “Marry who?” I asked without looking at her. “The mother of your children,” she said avoiding calling her name. She hated Naza to an extent. An understandable thing. “Why are you asking me that now?” I asked, stuffing my bottle into my mouth and winking at Bros’s girl. “I want to know, girls who give birth before marriage have their market value cut in half.” “What about girls who abort?” I asked. “I don’t know.” Giggles pas*ed around the boys and the girls sipped their drinks uneasily. “Remember when you were eager to get pregnant for me?” I asked, trying to cover up the uneasiness that had enveloped our group. “Remember what you promised me?” she asked. “Yes, I said I will marry you.” “Where you lying then?” she asked. “Joking,” I muttered, sipping my bottle. “What?” she asked in a snap. “Lying and Joking, they are two different words with very different meanings.” “I hate you,” she said and I smiled at her. “I love you,” I grinned. “I love you too baby,” she said and giggled. Bros got the table filled up with meat and we partied into the evening.

    EPISODE 48

    The next days that followed were followed by constant calls from Freda to my phone. She wanted to be my date for the period we were at home. I liked her, not like I did in the past but I thought she’d be handy once in a while. She loved me still and told me all she needed was my attention and nothing more. I was OK with the arrangement only that she called me each day like she needed more than my attention and it wasn’t cool with me. “I thought you had this guy you were always flaunting in my face back then?” I asked her the day we talked on the phone. “I left him. He wasn’t like you.” “And how am I?” I asked, dipping the baby bottle into Chinaza’s mouth. I left her and the bottle and turned to my phone. “Spoilt,” she said slowly and I bit my lips. Chinaza gurgled and sucked at her feeding bottle. I rubbed her belly. “You want a spoilt guy?” I asked. “Not exactly but the guy was too churchy. I think he confesses to the priest each time we make love.” “Hahaha, how do you know that?” “Stop asking me that question joor, are you coming over?” she asked. “No, I am with my daughter here,” I replied. “Where is that? I want to come over.” “I am at Naza’s place. Talk to you later,” I said. We dropped the call and I turned to my daughter on the bed. She had spilled her bottled tea all over her face and was giving me one of those cute giggles that makes her look like her mother. “Don’t you know how to feed a baby?” Chinaza called from the door, strapping Chinecherem to herself. “I know how to feed a baby, we were just playing,” I replied and tickled the baby on the bed. She cackled. “See?” Naza smiled weakly and walked up to us on the bed. She dropped the boy on me and turned to the baby girl. “All those Nollywood movies you watch are so much wasted on you,” I muttered. “How?” she asked turning to me with the baby in her hand. “In a proper Nigerian film, you should give me a kiss when you walk into the room,” I replied. She stared at me for a while like she was deciding what to do with me. Then in a twist, she came closer and latched a kiss on my lips. The first in months. My eyes widened. “Come again please, I wasn’t prepared for that one,” I said. She came again, this time longer and when we separated, Freda stood at the door, looking like she just got out of a beauty pageant. “What?” Chinaza asked, the quarrel all over her face. I was overly dumbstruck. Freda was crazy, that I knew but I never knew she had nerves too. My heart beat at the speed of light as I thought of the crazy things she could say at that moment. “Hello Naza. I just came to see the babies. Chinecherem told me about them,” she sang, still stuck to the doorway like she was waiting for an invitation to come in. I let out a fake smile as I scolded her with my eyes. “Come in,” I said with a fake boldness. She walked slowly towards us. She was beautiful as she came and Naza hated having someone like her around me, especially when it was Freda. “Meet them, Chinecherem and Chinaza,” I introduced, pointing from the boy to the girl. “Can I carry them?” she asked, her eyes on Naza. “Yes,” she replied slowly, shifting uncomfortably. “They are beautiful and they look like a combination of the both of you,” She said as she rocked Chinaza to herself. “Yes. They will grow up to be like their father,” I said proudly. “God forbid!” the two ladies snapped and looked at each other with a bold smile. The tension eased and a conversation came up. Freda loved to talk and soon roped Naza in. I was the but* of every joke that ever came on and I pondered why Freda would want to be all chatty with Chinaza. Someone she hated. “I have to bathe this one,” Naza said after sometime, picking the baby girl from the bed. “Can’t he do it?” Freda asked, referring to me. “This one, he will soak her in the bath water and forget her there,” Naza said. “You know that is not true,” I defended. “Don’t worry, I know what you can do,” Freda said. Naza laughed her way out of the room. We watched her go. Her fine figure swinging to the tune of an imaginary music. She was perfect, Chinaza. I shouldn’t be running after any other girl but Freda was there and she obviously didn’t come to see the babies. “So why are you here?” I asked, turning to her. “I am missing you and I couldn’t wait for you to be through with the baby sitting.” “And you had to come here?” She nodded, opening her eyes wider at me. They were sexy eyes but we were in Chinaza’s room and I shouldn’t be thinking about it. “So do you want to put me in trouble?” I asked. “What trouble?” “Chinaza and me. Do you want her to catch us?” “Yes. She will leave you and then I will have you to myself. Besides the both of you have really tried. You have been together for years now and you even have children. You guys should break up jare so other people will have a taste of you.” I stared at her for long. She stole glances from me as she twisted the tip of her braid. I shook my head and bit my lips. “If we were in my house right now, I would have sent you away,” I declared. She giggled and I smiled. My baby boy giggled too. She turned to him and picked him up. “Fine boy, cute like his father,” She said and threw a look at me. I smiled and fell back on the bed. “Look at me sweetheart. I am your stepmother,” she declared and my laughter drowned the room. Time ran and the sun traveled far to the west. My phone rang and James’s number came up on the screen. “Papa Ejima,” he hailed as I picked. “Mad man howfar?” I asked. “Fine nigga. You just forget us naa.” “I no forget you guys. I am now a family man and my family comes first,” I said and we laughed. “No yawa naa. But I get one gist that will make you run down to my lodge now now, family man aside.” “Gist me naa.” “I dy my lodge with Chinemelum now now and only us dy here like this,” he announced. My heart pounded. “Your sister?” I asked. “No, my mother,” he hissed and the line went dead.

    EPISODE 49

    I had practically beaten my mom out of her car and made an enemy out of Willie and bros for it. They had banked on cruising the car that day and somehow, I snatched it up under their nose. I had that privilege as the baby of the house and to my mom, it was my interest before others. I looked good and smelled good for my reunion with the Ebonyi chic that had robbed my heart the moment I set my eyes on her. James sister. Willie was angry but not too angry to lend me his eyeshade and bros was benevolent enough to let me have his Russian leader shoes and original Gucci face cap. The street was a bit free as I rode through them. Students had vacated and lodges were dry so I had the privilege of pulling a James Bond through the street, screeching the tires as I liked. I made my stop at what used to be my lodge and alighted like a king. The side mirrors as*ured me that I still had my good looks on and then I swagged into the hostel, straight to James door. I pulled at the handle and it was locked. I gave a gentle rap and the door flew open on the fifth tap. She stood behind it. Still her curvy self and her skin shinning in the low lit room. She had this singlet on and a bumshot that exposed her meaty laps. Chinemelum was one beautiful girl, too beautiful to be James’s sister. She flung herself at me and crushed her body on mine. She was soft and warm. Her body radiated enough sauce and held onto her like it was our last hug. She pulled away eventually and I sized her up. She looked way better than she did the last time and she did look good that last time. “Sweetheart,” I called slowly and she smiled a shy smile. Moving closer to embrace me again. When a young girl, a learner falls in love. It eats up everything in them so much that their lovers end up looking like their guardian angel to them. She seemed like she couldn’t get enough of me and for the first 3 minutes, we stood at the door, making up for the times she had missed me. We fell into the room and she shut the door behind us. “Where’s James?” I asked, sitting on the bed and looking up at her. “He went out.” “You are alone?” I asked and she nodded. “Are you not scared?” “He said he will be back soon,” she replied. I nodded and moved my eyes from her to the television and back. She had that look fixed on me. I smiled at her and pulled her closer. “Come,” I said and she obeyed, crashing into my waiting arms. Our lips met and our tongues clicked. She hadn’t forgotten what I thought her and she was good with it. My fingers ran through her body as she clung onto me, her eyes closed and her chest burning against mine. I moved my hand into her bra and rocked her nipples with my fingers, tuning them on and off as she let out light moans. Then the door handle clicked and we disengaged. I struggled frantically to put my dick back to its former place which was quite an uphill task. I did manage to restore a bit of sanity to my posture tho. Emelum got the door, she had no sign on her that would give her away except maybe her dripping pus*y but then,I doubt if the intruder would want to go that far to find out. It was James and when he came in, he had that look in his eyes that showed he had a clue as to what a niggar was up to. No matter the girl, it was always this same activity between me and them, except the girl is my mother or blood sister. “Badoo,” He yelled, coming at me with his hand stretched full length. I took it and we shook vigorously. It’s been a long while and the boy was all meaty and fresh, dividends of the vacation. “Shebi you have seen him naa, you can now die in peace,” he said, turning to Chinemelum. The look on her face was the type you would find on an innocent, shy, little bride. I turned to James with a smile at the corner of my face. “Yes, she have been singing out your name for a very long time,” he said to me. “She should. I doubt if there are guys like me in your village.” “You dey craze,” he said. “Baby shey there is none like me over there,” I asked and she nodded shyly. I winked at James, he hissed. “Ehe, guy. Shebi na you carry that car come?” he asked, drawing closer to me. I nodded with a frown on my face. I had an inkling of what he was going to ask for. “I have this girl I need to meet. Omo she thick gan,” he started with his fool boy smile. “So?” “She is clas*y too,” he added. “And so?” “You know it’s not proper for me to be walking the street with that kind of ride. We should be in a ride,” he said and kept his smile. “You understand naa.” “I don’t understand,” I replied. “Do you need me to accompany you to where you want to buy the ride?” His countenance changed. I saw myself being kicked out of the room before I even had the chance to get a shot of Emelum. I had to give in. He knew a thing or two about driving and my mom’s car was real easy to navigate plus I needed privacy with Emelum. “See guy. You can kiss her but don’t fvck her,” he whispered to me as we stood outside. He was on his way out and Chinemelum was in the room. “Don’t worry. You are like a brother to me. Chinemelum is your sister so she is like a sister to me as well,” I said with the best amount of seriousness my face could gather. “You know I wouldn’t fvck your sister behind you,” he said. “Yes, She is not your age mate.” “Even if she was my age mate. I will only finger her but I won’t fvck her.” “So I can finger her?” I asked with a wide grin. “Errrm, maybe,” he said and then shook his head. “Mba. Don’t finger. I have not fingered your sister yet and from there you may be tempted to use the other one. She might even be begging for it.” “Is it not turn by turn. I do your sister, you do mine,” I said. He gave me one last look and smiled. We shook hands and he turned to leave. “Ehe, take care of that car like it is your mother.”  “Sure thing,” he said and left. I walked back into the room wondering why he would keep a sexy piece of fish with a mother rat and expect it to remain untouched. He came back for my Gucci cap. He looked nice with it on so I let him have it plus I doubted the possibility of banging a girl with my cap on, Gucci or not. She had me on a platter of diamond as I let her toy with every part of me. She was all jittery, almost like she had never seen something like me. She was a bit naive and wanted every part of me in an instant, just like I was going to disappear in a matter of seconds. “Are you hungry?” she asked as my stomach made rumbling noise, amidst the kisses. “No. I think it’s but*erflies in my stomach. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and that’s why my stomach is making noise,” I answered and pulled her closer. She smiled and tore away at my but*ons. My stomach came again with its noise. “Let me bring food for you,” she offered, not waiting to hear my protests that it was the but*erflies. She cooked rice. I knew it was her because it tasted different from James’s usual concoction. A sexy, beautiful girl that could cook good was a treasure mine but the whole thing wouldn’t be a proper sauce if she was virgin and it turned out she still was. “You are still a virgin?” I asked as she gave me that timid look they always give. I hated those kind of situations where after you have gotten bigger than you normally were then you end up finding out that the hole was still on factory mode. “I want to do it,” she whispered, staring up at me with those eyes that could melt the devils eyes. It didn’t seduce me rather it deepend my resolve not to mess with such innocence especially when the girl is James’s sister. “Wait until you get admitted, then you will be a big girl,” I said, caressing the tiny hairs above her clit. “What if I don’t get admitted?” she asked with half closed eyes and moaning to my touches. I kissed her lips shut and pinched her sweating clit a bit. She wrung her hand around my neck and begged me to make the hole wider. “I will just use my fingers,” I said, she nodded and then I did an explosive handwork on her. One that endeared me more to her and she confessed no one has ever done that to her. She was beautiful and shiny and for once, I was tempted to perform a thorough head job on her but then, I was scared the blood would leak and spill on my face. I hated blood even mine. We sang songs to each other as we cuddled after the handy affair. She was addicted to me and it was easy to understand why. I had really gifted fingers according to Naza’s many testimonies. Chinemelum was now saying the same thing. She was hot and I was scared that those my horny ex logde mates would eat the fruit that I have been saving for the rainy day. “Shebi you know how much I love you?” I asked and she smiled. “How much?” she asked. “This big,” I said, stretching my hands wide. “Bigger than St Peter Basilica.” She giggled and pecked me. “I love you too.” “Good. Don’t let any other guy come closer. This is exclusively mine,” I said, lifting her chin with my finger to kiss her mighty pink lips. James got home a little before five, disrupting our moment of pure love. The moment each of our hands were on decent spots and our hormones were spiked by the rush of true love and nothing else. “Your momsy car sabi run shaa,” he said, falling beside us on the bed, reeking of the finest breed of alcohol. “How was the parole?” I asked, shifting to a holier position with Emelum. “The girl tight shaa but there is not enough space in your mother’s car for a cowgirl.” I jumped from the bed and beat him up. “Guy, did you fvck a girl in my mom’s car?” He looked up to me and grinned. “Guy forget it. Nothing happened.” The day ended and I had to leave by 6pm. Chinemelum stacked up loads of kisses for me in a duffel bag and sent me home with it. I drove into the hood few minutes to 7pm and as I sped through the road with my headlights all over the place, Chinaza’s call came in and I had to make a stop at their gate. She came out for me. “I just wanted to be sure it was you that I saw today,” she said, frisking me with her eyes and the car too. “Saw me where?” I asked. “Don’t worry. I just needed to be sure,” she said and walked back inside, leaving me with my mouth wide open. I called her later in the night. It had been long I called and somehow, my hand pounded furiously at what she was going to say. “Well shaa, I didn’t look twice. I saw your mother’s car speed pas* that junction and you had that particular cap on your head. You were with a girl. Chinecherem stop denying the truth,” she had argued while we were on the phone. “I swear it wasn’t me,” I defended, getting angry that James and his girl’s episode was about to mess my little family up. “The girl wasn’t even beautiful sef. You don’t have taste, I am telling you,” she laughed. She was right to an extent. James lacked a bit of taste with the girls he rolled with. He loved them bootylicious and that was all. Whatever face was alright. “Naza it wasn’t me, when will you ever stop calling me a liar. Why can’t you just trust me?” I asked. “Who was in your mother’s car then?” “I will explain later,” I said as my mom came into the room to check who was disturbing the peace of the house. “Good for you. Keep the explanations to yourself. This stupid relationship is over,” she said and dropped the call. “Chinecherem if you won’t sleep, stop disturbing those that wants to sleep,” my mother scolded and I turned to those she was talking about. Willie and Bros all of a sudden was snoring away. They had been on the phone a while ago apologizing to their babes for making them trek throughout the day. They still held grudges against me for robbing them off the car. “Mummy it’s Chinaza naa. I’m just checking up on the twins.” “Oh. I hoped they are fine?” she asked. I nodded and dismissed her. “Naza what did you just say?” I asked her after I had called back. “I said I am done with you. The only thing between us is these babies. Just go and run after all the girls that you want.” She dropped the call again as I rubbed my eyes to wake up from my slumber. “Bros, did you hear what Naza said now?” I asked, turning to Bros who was back on the phone. “Thunder fire you,” he said. Apparently, he was still angry about the car.

    EPISODE 50

    “See sweetheart, I am telling you the honest truth,” I swore as I unwrapped the soiled diaper from my girl’s bum bum. The thick aroma of poo rented the air and I squeezed my face. She giggled and I smiled. “You think this is funny?” I asked and she smiled. Almost like she could understand me. At the corner, Naza was busy with her plate of rice and my punishment for not visiting my kids for a long time was changing the diaper. “I think this one has urinated too,” she gobbled with the food stashed in her mouth. “Eat slowly, I am not going to beg you,” I said and she rolled her eyeballs at me. “Besides, can’t you help me out. Just change the wet pampers because I am still busy.” “I am busy too,” she said. “Busy doing what?” “Eating,” she answered in a snap. I swallowed hard and continued in my duty as a father. I needed Naza to retract her break up statement so I was ready to even breastfeed the babies if it ever got to that. “Well, as I was saying. James was the one in the car. He only took my cap,” I explained. She merely shrugged and continued tearing her meat apart with her nice dentition. “And you know I don’t chase ugly girls. I have no business with them.” “Freda is ugly,” she murmured and took a clean Chinaza from me, replacing her with a wet, gibberish muttering Chinecherem. “No she is not ugly,” I defended. “You are just a few inches more beautiful than her.” “I am a million meters more beautiful than her,” she argued. I couldn’t argue further. I was supposed to protect her interest above all and I think that was the trap she intended roping me into. Maybe she wanted to explore the depth of my love for her. “Yes you are,” I said. “I know. So who was that girl with James in the car?” she asked. “I don’t know, never even saw her.” “What if your mum had seen him there and he was even heading for a restaurant sef.” “My mum don’t go out on Sundays. And besides, what were you doing when you saw him?” I asked with a furrow to my forehead. She blinked hard and I knew she was trying to come up with a lie. I had seen that look many times before. “Eh?” she asked. “Eh!” I replied. “Ehen, I went out,” she blurted out. I twitched my mouth and puffed. “With who? To where?” “None of your business. Don’t ask me,” she replied, moving her face away from my searching eyes and stealing glances. “It is my fvcking business,” I said as my voice peaked slowly. I was vexed, imagining another guy on my Chinaza. “As what naa?” she asked with a hiss. “Your unofficial husband.” She smiled and turned to me. “It was that guy from long ago.” “The fluffy beards?” I asked and she nodded. I bit my lips and lifted my son to my laps, trying to send him straight to sleep. A futile effort. She saw the look in my face and for unknown reasons she mellowed. “He has been disturbing me for a long time and I went to see him so he can let me be,” she explained, her hands on my laps. “I even took Chinecherem along,” she added, rubbing the boys head. My face lit and I fell on the bed with roaring laughter. I couldn’t imagine a chic as tight as Chinaza showing up to a date with a crying baby in her hand. Even if I was the father, I would be so pissed. “What did he say?” I asked, trying to stifle the laughter. “He asked if the baby was mine and I said no,” she replied with a smile at the corner of her face. “I told him it was my boyfriend’s baby.” I thought it was cute of her. She had that bright smile on her face, the one that often told me how high her love for me at a moment is and I kid you not, I love her too, very much maybe much more than she actually loves me but then, there were beautiful girls all around and I love them too. I held her hand and held her eyes with mine. She squeezed my hands and smiled. “You know I love you very much?” I asked and she nodded. “You know a lot of other guys love and want you too?” “Yes,” she answered. “But I need you more. They want you and I need you. See the difference, want and need,” I said, emphasizing the difference with gesticulation of my hands. “Don’t mind where I am today. They are rich and I may be broke but I will be rich tomorrow, I swear to you and I will buy you the whole of Dubai because you deserve it.” She smiled and I smiled too. “I deserve more than Dubai for staying with someone like you. It’s not easy at all.” “I know but we will start from Dubai first,” I said. She nodded and winked at me. “Just one more thing.” “What?” she asked. “Stop threatening to leave me. I don’t like it,” I said. “Stop chasing other girls.” “I stopped many years ago, I don’t even look at any other girls except you, my mother, my sisters and my female lecturers,” I said and she laughed hard. “You are a bloody liar,” she said amidst the laughter. “But I love you still and I can’t cheat on you because I am too beautiful for that.” I scoffed and she hit my arm. “Shut up. I am very beautiful and I am okay with just one stupid playboy messing me up. I don’t want another one,” she said. I kissed her cheek and she pushed me away. “I love you baby,” I bas*ed and she responded with an I love you too. “Let’s consummate our love for each other,” I said and she threw me a gaze ladened confusion. “How?” she asked. “It’s been a long time we really got to know each other,” I stammered, lacking the proper words to convey my message. “How, stop talking to me like you are still wooing me,” she said. “I mean it’s been long we go on each other. Make love?” I eventually said, tying the words up like some computer command prompt. “Gerrout mother**ker,” she said with a giggle, shoving me away with a push to the chest. “Come closer bïtch,” I said. She laughed and drew closer, all prepped for a foreplay with her beautiful fair b**bss shooting above the edge of her bra. I let her fall into my arms and latched her lips shut with my mouth. “The babies, they are watching,” she said with a mouthful of kisses. I slipped my fingers into her bra and pulled out her hard b**bss, I wanted all of her at that instance. It had been a long time we really had each other like we used to. “Let them watch. If they get curious, they can try it with each other, after all they are male and female for a reason,” I said. “You are crazy,” she giggled and bit my lips, tearing my shirt away from my body.
    The END

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