Story: Married But No Sex

    Part 1

    She came in to the bedroom with her transparent night gown wearing a romantic perfume. Nobody was left at the house after a long day of felicitations and congratulations for the success of their wedding. Who would have thought Sis Rose could get married after several attempts failed at the altar of disappointment and betrayal.
    Sis Rose had been into 8 relationships that never led to marriage. Getting suitors was never her problem but getting to the aisle was never realistic until she met Bro Solo. Bro Solo was a well-known brother in the choir and the dream husband of every lady as he seemed to be an example of a true Christian.
    Bro Femi dated her for 18 months and jilted her because she refused him sex before marriage. Bro Ifeanyi left her after a year of relationship when he went for National Youth Service Corps at Enugu where he found Sis Chinyere. Bro Austin never gave any reason for quitting their relationship of 4 months. The history of Sis Rose's relationship journey was heartbreaking as she had dated 8 guys in 14 years.
    'Bro Solo is going to leave like others, why put in the remaining pieces of my heart?', she thought. On her traditional wedding, she fainted twice for unbelief and shock that Bro Solo did not leave like other brothers. It was a well-celebrated and well-attended wedding. Members of the choir and ushering team added colour to the day as one of their own were the celebrants of the day.
    The joy and excitement that Sis Rose was leaving singles fellowship of the church at 43 made the pastor overjoyed, so much that he made Sis Rose's wedding one of the best since the inception of the church. Family and friends were not left out as they all created scenes to add colour to the day.
    Family and friends stayed back and never wanted to leave them alone even at the late hour of the night. Sis Rose had jokingly told her friends to leave to allow them start their honeymoon and everyone laughed. 'Madam are you driving us?' And they laughed again. In all these Bro Solo was indifferent as to whether they left or not.
    At about 11:03pm, she joined him in the bedroom ready for action of the moon. This is the day she has been looking forward to; a day she wanted to be grabbed, squeezed, cuddled and made love to. A day she will have sex and not see it as sin against God. 'Dear, I am all yours now. Do to me what wish. I am not wearing anything underneath just to give you easy access.'
    'Before we are carried away with the joy of our wedding let's thank God first for all his has done for us', Bro Solo replied. And the prayer of thanksgiving turned to intercessory prayers and then to warfare prayers. After 40 minutes Bro Solo was still praying. A prayer that was already getting Sis Rose pissed up. How can we turn our honeymoon to a prayer meeting? She thought within herself. She couldn't stop the prayer meeting because the tempo of the prayers increased by the minute. At about 12:29am she dosed off and went into a deep sleep. That night they missed the first flight!
    Before Sis Rose could wake up by 6:30am, Bro Solo was already dressed up to meet an appointment for 7am in order to secure bus ticket for some of their guests who were slated to go with the first bus. 'Where are you going to this early that you are already dressed up?' she quarreled her husband. 'But we didn't make love last night being our first night together. Before you go out this morning, you must make love to me.' Dear, I am sorry that cannot happen now as I need to meet up for this appointment by 7am. I will make it up to you when I come back.
    Sis Rose was not going to take no for an answer that morning. She jammed the door and held the keys "You are not going out this morning until you make love to me"! She called the pastor, "Hello sir, you need to make to our house now or else...."
    The pastor quickly diverted from his way to his office to their house. 'What could warrant this distress call from the newest couple?' he thought within himself.
    Why do you think Bro Solo is not sleeping with his wife? Find out in part 2
    MARRIED BUT NO SEX

    Part 2

    'Would I supervise your spiritual life and also supervise your sexual life? Sexuality in marriage does not contaminate spirituality. Bro Solo why have you not touched your wife? I am your pastor and I have been sleeping with my wife for more than 20 years now. Prayer cannot replace sex in marriage. You are now married and licensed to have sex. Making love to your wife is no more a sin.'

    'I know it is possible you are a virgin but today virginity is no longer profitable. If you don't know how to do it, I am here to teach you. You can ask me any question on sex. Sis Rose is now yours and by my authority, her parents authority and the authority of heaven you can kiss her, romance her and sleep with her as many times as is convenient for both of you. The way you rush your first meal after a long chain fasting is the same way I expect you to rush your wife. If there's any issue, you can confide in me.'

    'Thank you daddy, we shall do the needful as you have counselled', Bro Solo said. After seeing the Pastor off to the other side of the road where his car was parked, the Pastor turned to the couple and said, 'Sis Rose ensure you call me later to let me know how everything goes. Bye! Bye!'

    When they arrived back at their apartment, Bro Solo begged his wife to let him sort out and discharge all their guests so they could have uninterrupted time together. 'Let's do a quick one before you go, when you come back we can relax and have a nice time together.

    'Why are you in hurry to have sex Sis Rose, sorry dear? How long will it take me to sort out our guests that you can't wait? Where is the self-control they've been teaching us about in church? Are we married because of sex or to fulfill God's purpose for our lives?

    This is almost 24 hours we have been married, we have not discussed or done anything reasonable than sex. Must we have sex immediately after our wedding? Will the sex run away if we don't do it today? Why are you so particular about sex over other things that can add value to our lives and marriage. If we don't do it today, we can do it tomorrow.'

    Sis Rose became worried and highly agitated at this time. Is there anything he is hiding from me? She thought! This is a lacuna of God's law. *"Marriage is honourable in all, and bed undefiled".* She questioned the law of God with hundreds of questions. I have kept the bed undefiled all these years, would I still stay away from the bed after marriage? Even if he is not going to make love to me, why won't he kiss me, hug me, caress me or even give peck. I want to feel like a woman but my man is a shadow of a real man.

    I will not allow him go out today, the neighbours must hears us. I am going to make noise about this until third parties come to my rescue. This is no more spirituality but stupidity. 'Bro Solo, you are going nowhere until you perform your marital duty on your wife. No sex no going out today. If you step outside there, by the time you come back you won't meet me in this house again. You can't be more spiritual than the pastor, you can't be more catholic than the pope.'

    'Sis Rose this is the work of the devil and we must not permit it. My spirit tells me the devil wants to capitalize on this small issue to cause problems at beginning of our marriage. We must not allow our guests to spend one more night in that hotel or else our bill will be heavy. Please let me go and settle them and I shall give you what you want. 'You will have to choose between your guests and your wife today,' Sis Rose replied him.

    All the stories I have heard from my married friends on their first night are fantastic. This is a day I have patiently waited for. Why is mine like this? And tears rolled from her eyes down her cheeks. 'Sis Rose, are you crying? Why are you crying? Okay, sit down let me tell you why I have not touched you since yesterday...'

    Are you still sure you can guess right? Wait until you read part 3. Your guess may be right
    MARRIED BUT NO SEX

    Part 3

    'Sis Rose, I didn't marry you because of sex, I married you because I love you. Love is the basis for our union and not sex. I didn't tell you all these because I love you with all my heart. Don't push me to sleep with you if you don't know the reason why I don't want to sleep with you. You must have been thinking of many things in your mind like; if I am impotent or over-spiritual. I am not impotent neither am I over-spiritual. I am a complete man and will prove that in no time if you are patient.

    You could remember the last time we traveled to your place for our wedding introduction and the four hours meeting I had with your parents and the elders in your clan? Did you notice I came out of the meeting moody and unhappy? You remember you asked me what was it we discussed for that long without you in the meeting? You also remember I had a 30 minutes meeting with your dad later that night?' 'Yes I remember everything you mentioned', she replied. What does that have to do with you not performing your conjugal obligation as my husband? If you are not impotent, prove it now and spare me all of these questions? I am not in court neither am I facing an elders council.

    The only language I understand now is Sex! Sex! Sex! And nothing but sex. When people marry, it is normal for them to be anxious to devour themselves especially if they have not done it before. What I expect you to do now is to remove my pant and bra and make me feel like a woman and not tell me stories. I didn't marry you to tell me stories, I married you so you can make me a real woman.

    Since you have decided to make me unhappy at my supposed honeymoon, you will never know happiness in your life. May God give you 100 fold of the pain you have caused me on the day of my joy. The scripture says, "defraud not one another" but you have defrauded me, may God pay you back all you have done to me.' Sis Rose, while in tears rained curses on her newly wedded husband.

    'Sis Rose, are you cursing me? What have I done to warrant these terrible curses you just landed on me when you have not given me room to explain myself. I wish you could be patient enough to listen to me.' She interjected him, to listen to what? Who will listen to a half-man like you? Who will listen to a man who cannot make love to his wife, 24 hours after the wedding. Who will listen to an impotent man like you? Why she was naming him and renaming him with disgusting names, his phone rang. It was a call from his guests who had waited tirelessly for him. Bro Solo where are you? This is 10 minutes to 12 noon. He checked the wall clock and he remembered if his guests stay in the hotel beyond 12 that means a full payment for a day. He picked his bunch of keys and rushed out without seeking his wife's consent anymore.

    By the time he got to the hotel it was 16 minutes past 12. 'You are welcome sir the hotel clerk greeted him with a scheduled bill of N85,000 for his guests for another day. But I am here to check them out, I am sorry for coming late. As you can see I just wedded and have lots to attend to. Please cancel the bill because they are not staying any further.'

    'I am sorry that is not possible sir, it's a policy we don't have control over. Even if they are not going to stay further you have to pay for exceeding the stipulated time of 12 noon.' '

    O my God, this is not fair' he protested! 'But we told you before they checked in. We also stated it clearly in our guest handbook.'

    He rushed back to the house to pick from the money people sprayed them at their wedding reception. He got home and found the door slightly jammed. He rushed in and went for the money bag but it was not there again. 'Where are you dear?' No response! 'Sis Rose, where are you? Where is the money bag we kept here?' The absolute silence caused him to look round the house just to see a note on his bed.

    "This is to tell you I have gone for good. I cannot live with a chameleon and an impotent man like you. Don't look for me until you find solution to your impotence. I have carried my box and the money they sprayed us at the wedding. While you continue your prayer meeting, I am going to sleep with any man who is willing to make me feel like a woman. God bless you Mr prayer warrior". Rose.

    Are you still guessing? Part 4 is on the way.

    Part 4

    Bro Solo read the note with tears in his eyes. His marriage of one day just disappeared into thin air in a jiffy. 'Where could she have gone? Why didn't she give me just a little time to explain myself. Who will help me tell Sis Rose how much I love her? Who will help me tell her she's more important to me than sex?'

    He put a call through to some people, first to her father. Please sir did you hear from my wife? His father-in-law was embarrassed by such a question. 'How can you ask me such a question when she's supposed to be with you? I hope nothing bad has happened to my daughter? Isn't she supposed to be with you?' He kept mum for a while until his father-in-law asked him again, 'where is my daughter?' 'She is.......' 'She is what?' The man asked with angry voice. 'Sir we had a little argument and she left the house without my knowledge.' 'Oh, is it over that issue? But you promised me you could handle it. You told me you are a Christian and your God can take care of it. I hope you haven't broken the rules?' 'No sir,' Bro Solo replied.

    He tried to call other people just to know if he could have an idea about where she has gone to but everyone he called was in shock - how could a bride of barely 1 day leave her husband's house without his knowledge? Everyone, friends and family became all confused and started making contacts to know the whereabouts of Sis Rose.

    His problems became more complex as calls were coming in from the hotel for him to settle the bills of his guests. They accused him of abandoning them because he couldn't leave his wife just to sort them out. His heart became bitter when he knew he had no N85,000 to settle his guests hotel bill. While he was thinking of what to do, his pastor's call came in. 'How are you Bro Solo, I hope you are back from Jerusalem now? How did you feel with your wife? I already know you felt very high. Was that your first time?' The pastor sensed something was wrong when Bro Solo did not answer any of his numerous questions. 'Bro Solo are you there?' 'Yes daddy, just that.....' 'Just that what?' 'Sir I will be coming to the office to explain to you.'

    He immediately went to pastor's office. 'Sir, she has gone, your daughter has gone.' The pastor was a bit confused and he asked, 'gone to where?' While he was trying to ask further questions he gave him the note from Sis Rose. After the pastor read it he was embarrassed. You mean you didn't touch her? 'Hmmmm...... ,' Bro Solo exclaimed.

    'Sir, you remember I told you I will see you immediately after our wedding?' 'Yes I remember, what is it?' 'Sir it is a long story but I will summarize everything now. My wife thought I am impotent but I am not. You think I am a virgin but I am not. I  impregnated a girl before when I was in secondary school but we lost the baby after three months.

    Sis Rose have not been able to get married all this while because there is a generational tradition in her family. She lost her three sisters over this tradition after their husbands slept with them after marriage. The taboo of this tradition is that any man who marry their daughters must not have sexual intercourse with them until after one year of their marriage. Her sisters who took the tradition for granted lost their lives instantly but nothing happened to the men. This was the reason for the four hours meeting I had with her parents and the elders on our introduction day.

    All the men who came to asked her hand in marriage quietly quit on hearing this terrible tradition but I gave them my word that I will stay with her for that one year without sex while we consult you for further prayers and deliverance session. How long is one year of sexual denial if it is the price for the life of my wife? Why won't I wait for one year if I could abstain from sex for 14 years. Unfortunately Sis Rose never gave me the opportunity to prove my love to her. If I had slept with her yesterday she would have been dead by now. I agreed to go into the one year marriage without sex with her because I love her.'

    The pastor was dumbfounded and felt very sorry for judging him wrongly. 'How else can a man love his wife than this?'

    Moral lessons;

    1. Always give an opportunity for people to explain themselves regardless of the gravity of their offense.
    2. Don't be quick to judge people when you don't know their intentions.
    3. Don't be in hurry to quit.

    What is your advice for them?
    THE END

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