Story: The Painful Pleasure

    Episode 1

    I waited patiently as the phone loaded slowly due to the
    poor network. Believe me, network is always very slow
    whenever one wants to check result.
    It was my third post UTME in the prestigious Obafemi
    Awolowo University. My first and second post UTME result
    was 168 and 199 respectively, i could remember vividly that
    my mum (who gathered money from her petty trade of
    fruits) said to me having seen my second trial result “If only
    they were so nice to add one mark, you would have gotten
    200″.
    Well, she was very sad, but she still encouraged me (without
    even talking about the money with which she obtained the
    form for me). She just said that i should try more, she said ”
    ti esin ba da ni, a maan tun gun ni” which means that; when
    a horse makes one fall, we try climbing again. . .
    I was so lost in thought, all i could think of was my mum
    who had been struggling to make me someone in life. She
    has been doing all these alone since i lost my father when i
    was ten in a fatal accident along Lagos-Ibadan express way
    (that was some 8 years back). Since I’m the only child, she
    has only shown me so much care and affection, and i can’t
    afford to fail post utme the third time. . .
    All these was going through my mind, and my thoughts were
    too crowded to notice that the result has loaded, and is right
    on the screen staring at me. I snapped out of my thoughts to
    discover that ‘the bridegroom’ is here, all i needed to do was
    to ‘zoom’ on my outdated Blackberry tour that i bought
    (3000 Naira, UK used) with my life savings. Trembling with so
    much fear, i pressed the middle key, there came my result. I
    looked at it, and behold. . . .
    What exactly did he score?

    Episode 2

    Trembling with so much fear, i pressed the middle key, there
    came my result. I looked at it, and behold, it was ‘255’.
    I shouted so loud, that my mum heard my voice in the shop
    “Thank you Jesus” I couldn’t believe my eyes, with a JAMB
    score of 235, that is an aggregate (Jamb+postutme divided
    by 2) of 245 which is enough to study microbiology (my first
    choice) since the cutoff for microbiology the previous year
    was 240.
    I started rolling on the floor with so much Joy. My mother
    (who had heard my voice earlier) came in. “Dapo what is it”
    she enquired. I just gave my phone to her, then she saw my
    result, no adjective can qualify the look on her face on that
    fateful day, she was just too happy as she didn’t know what
    to say. She opened her mouth, and what came out was “ose
    oko mi” as tears of joy started rolling down her both chicks.
    This means; “thank you my husband”. (This is how Yoruba
    mothers do when they are very happy with you, they call
    you “oko mi” which means “my husband”)
    Well, I’m her husband, since she has lost her husband since
    8 years and I’m the only one she has. “I knew you will make
    it”, she said to me, hugging me tight with so much Joy. She
    went to the market, bought life-chicken, killed and fried for
    me. I ate the chiken with garri, garnished with sugar and
    milk (that was the best meal i had that year). My mum was
    so happy, indeed that day was the happiest day of my life.
    All these happened August 12 2010, and by November, the
    admission list was out and as expected, i was given my
    course of choice- Microbiology.
    For those in OAU, you will agree with me that OAU is a
    university that gives you admission today, and then you
    resume in ten years time (that’s just exaggeration o). I saw
    my admission status in November, and we were to resume
    June of the following year, because there was ASUU strike
    then which disrupted the school callendar. Well, it’s an
    advantage for me, since it would give my mum enough time
    to source for my fees.
    So my mum did all she could, and got the fees, what a
    wonderful woman she is. Though that period appeared to be
    so slow, because i had waited for years at home and can’t
    wait to resume school. As long as it seems, the day drew
    near and it was just a month to resumption.
    Behold, it was time for online registeration, i couldn’t do it
    on my phone because it includes uploading of scanned
    WAEC/NECO result, birth certificate, signature and the likes.
    So i had to go to the Cafe. So i went to ‘God’s Grace’ (A
    famous cafe in Apata, Ibadan) to upload my WAEC result
    which was full of C’s and just 2 B’s (It wasn’t bad anyway)
    and other documents. When i got there i discovered that
    there were 5 people already waiting to do that same online
    registration. That was where i met Sandra.

    Episode 3

    Since they all came before me, i just had to wait till they are
    done with theirs.
    I sat down with the other four people on a long bench. “How
    much is the registration?” I asked the young girl sitting next
    to me (who looked quite pretty), “good afternoon” she
    answered. “Please pardon my manners, that should have
    been my line.” I said to her. She answered and said, “No
    problem anyway, i didn’t mean it that way, i just greeted you
    because i felt i had to, there is no big deal. Anyway, the guy
    said the registration is 1000 naira with printing.”
    The price seemed quite much, but i didn’t want to create a
    seen or be a nuisance since that’s what all others paid. So
    while we were waiting, i just enjoyed a conversation with
    that pretty young girl beside me.
    Me: So you are here to do your registration too?
    Girl: Obviously, what else would i be doing in a cafe?
    Me: You could be trying to browse the internet or
    something.
    Girl: So if that’s what I’m here for, will i be waiting for those
    guys to be through with their registration?
    Me: That’s true (nodding my head in agreement ), since we
    started talking, you’ve only asked questions. So, should i call
    you miss question?
    Girl: You don’t have to call me that, because i have a name
    (smiling).
    Me: So with this your beauty, your name must be princess.
    Girl: (Blushing) Don’t wine me joor.(now smiling like
    sobosobo) I’m not princess o, I’m Sandra. So what’s your
    name, Prince?
    Me: Prince ke, my name is Dapo o. Its nice meeting you
    (stretching my hands to shake her)
    Sandra: The pleasure is mine (shaking hands with me). .
    We talked on and on, and she told me that she was admitted
    to study philosophy. I waited until it was my turn, then I did
    my registration. Sandra left and waved me, “see you in
    school” she said. i waved her back, and she smiled from
    afar. It was when i saw that smile that it occurred to me that
    i should have asked for her number. But it was too late, she
    had gone already. “I may never see her again.” I said to
    myself. I just forgot about her since we have more than
    25,000 people in OAU.
    I finished my registration and went back home, preparing
    for school.

    Episode 4

    Preparation was in top gear for resumption. My mum
    surprised me when she bought ‘born-vita’ and peak milk. “I
    appreciate your efforts but we don’t even eat this at home
    maami, you don’t have to buy all this. We are not that rich
    and you know it, the money you used for this provision, you
    could have kept it for something else.” I humbly protested.
    She replied immediately ” If i don’t buy this for you who else
    will i buy it for? All my discomfort, is it not for your comfort,
    i toil day and night so that you dont have to do that. Over
    my dead body will you go to school without provisions. I
    want you to be alright, i want you to enjoy life, “soo gbo oko
    mi”, just try and understand me.”
    When she had finished saying all these things, all i could see
    was a mother who was willing to sacrifice her life for her
    son, who was willing to sacrifice her happiness for her son’s.
    I was so touched, and didn’t even know what to say, than to
    say thank you ma. I drew closer to her gave her a hug, and
    with tears rolling down my chicks i said “I will never let you
    down maami.” She replied saying “I trust you son, i know
    you won’t.”
    Though my mum was so happy that i finally gained the long
    awaited admission, but she still can’t believe that her one
    and only son will leave her to go to Ile-Ife. But what can the
    poor woman do, will she ask me not to go? Hell no! She
    won’t do that, she was as happy as i was as far as the
    admission is concerned. I thought for a while and then i
    started having mixed feelings as regards the admission.
    “Well it’s not like I’m going for life, i consoled myself.
    The resumption date was clearly stated- 13th of June 2011.
    Well, i had less than a week to go and i was so ready to face
    the new life, meet new people, learn new things, unlearn
    some things, teach people stuffs, correct wrong impressions
    and become new.
    People were giving me money from different angles. “Pele o,
    omo ile-iwe gba koo fi se owo oko.” They were always
    tipping me, and my mum won’t stop telling them about my
    going to school. “Omo yin n lo school ni next week o” which
    means: your child is going to school next week. Am i really
    their child? No I’m not, but Yoruba people have funny ways
    of talking e.g “se o ti ri aburo e.” This means: have you seen
    your younger sibling, when you are probably from Ibadan,
    and the person being referred to as your sibling is from
    Kaduna. But i actually enjoy the whole stuff, because once
    they call me someone’s child, that person must ‘shake
    body’ (meaning the person must give me money). Since my
    father is no more, “whoever gives me money is my father
    jare” i said, smiling.
    The day finally came, and all i had to carry was my ‘2 by 6’
    mattress, the few clothes i have, my provisions, and some
    food items (garri in particular). And i headed straight to the
    Bus-Stop.

    Episode 5

    Since we lived in the outskirts of Ibadan, i had to board two
    different taxis to get to Iwo-Road (like the extreme end of
    the city, where you get buses going to other parts of the
    country). My mum followed me to Apata where i took a taxi
    going to challenge, she waved at me and smiled with tears
    (who does that). I waved at her and i rememberd the ‘ranti
    omo eni to nse’ speech. This means: remember the son of
    whom you are.
    You guys know what I’m talking about, there is no one in
    Nigeria that won’t hear this speech from either or both
    parents when going to the university. These includes stuffs
    like:
    1. Koju mowe e o: face your studies
    2. Ma ko egbe kegbe o: Don’t keep bad company
    3. Ma kobirin o: Don’t follow girls e.t.c.
    But since my mum knew me to be someone that doesn’t
    really like ladies, since i don’t talk to girls in the area, only 1
    and 2 above was applicable to me.
    To cut the long story short, i got to Iwo road, and i gave a
    small boy 100 Naira to carry my load for me with his wheel
    barrow. I could have carried it myself, but i just felt that if
    everyone should think that way, how will the poor boy get
    his means of livelihood? “At least he is better than those
    guys with no physical disabilities who beg around.” I said to
    myself.
    I went to the Bus, and seeing my load, the driver said briskly
    “E maaa sanwo eru o.” Which means i will have to pay extra
    for my luggage. I nodded my head in agreement, and asked
    him how much that was, he said 200 Naira, after so much
    bargaining, and so much chastisement by the other
    passengers, he agreed to take 100 Naira, so with 400 fare,
    that will be 500 all together. “Its not that bad.” I. said to
    myself.
    So we were waiting for the bus to get filled. You know those
    guys now, they won’t move an inch until the bus is full. I sat
    at the third row as the bus has five rows. I would have sat at
    the second row but the driver had told us that three people
    will sit on a row, except the second row where four people
    will sit. Why he said that i didn’t know, and i don’t want to
    know. Because i wasn’t really used to traveling, i wouldn’t
    want anything that would cause me inconvenience.
    On my row there was just one space left as we waited
    patiently. One baba with bald head was already on my left,
    “who will be my right hand traveling partner” I wondered. . .
    There she comes, my sitting partner. As i saw her, i knew she
    was also going to resume in OAU. . .

    Episode 6

    “Sorry, can you please shift a bit” the voice of this young lady
    brought me back to the scene, because i was lost in thought,
    as the sight of her made me wonder if she was a student to
    be on OAU campus or not. I adjusted my back-pack closer to
    me, giving her enough space to sit comfortably. Another
    man came, and in no time, the bus was filled up. “E sanwo
    o” A man came to the window, telling us to pay, and we did,
    I just gave him 500, since that will save me the stress of
    waiting for change.
    The bus was ready to move, and it did move. I looked at my
    left, i saw ‘baba apari’ (bald old man), i looked at my right, i
    saw a damsel. “Should i start a conversation with this
    beautiful lady or just keep mute “I thought to myself, and
    concluded i was going to do the later. So i just minded my
    own business, as i gently brought out the story book ‘Romeo
    and Juliet by William Shakespeare’ out of my backpack. I
    loved this story so much, though I’ve red it thrice already, i
    don’t mind reading it again. As the sound of hooting vehicles
    and that of moving cars provided the ‘sound effect’ for my
    reading, I just focused, ignoring all other things.
    “So guys read this too?” I couldn’t believe it was the girl i
    wanted to form for that finally broke the silence. Well,
    whether i believe or not, Its true, and i had to reply her. “It’s
    not for girls only, so i see no reason why i can’t read it.” I
    answered. “So you are also going to resume in OAU?” She
    asked, When i heard the word ‘also’, i knew i cannot be more
    correct in my thoughts.
    Me: Yes you?
    The girl: Same here. With this your love for literature, you
    must be in the arts and humanities
    Me: At all, I’m in the sciences, in fact, I’m going in for
    microbiology.
    The girl: Are you serious? I’m going in for microbiology too.
    Me: So, i just met my first departmental friend (I said
    looking straight into her cat eyes), so whats the name of my
    FDF?
    The girl: What’s FDF?
    Me: First departmental friend of course!
    The girl: You are so funny. Anyways, the name is Moji and
    you are. . .
    Me: Dapo
    Moji: Really? That’s my younger brothers name.
    Me: That’s great! Anyway, its nice meeting you
    Moji: Same here. . .
    We continued the conversation, and we were just choosing
    topics at random. We talked about politics, the country, the
    music industry and lots of stuffs. I’ve discovered that when
    you have someone to talk to, journey seems to be faster.
    That was how i met my second mate, and my first
    departmental friend. “But wait o, how come i haven’t met
    any guy?” I said to myself. Well, at the cafe, there were four
    guys waiting to do registration, it was only the girl i talked to
    and made friends with. “I have not even entered campus
    and I’m already behaving like a girl-freak, if i enter campus,
    what will happen? When did i become like this? I wasn’t like
    this before!” I thought to myself.

    Episode 7

    To cut the long story short, we finally got to ‘Campus gate’ in
    Ife. I alighted from the bus with my ‘FDF’, and took my load.
    Carrying them was not so easy, so Moji offered to carry one
    for me, but i told her not to worry.
    I saw a large bill board that has “WELCOME TO OBAFEMI
    AWOLOWO UNIVERSITY ILE IFE” boldly written on It, with the
    motto “FOR LEARNING AND CULTURE” written underneath. I
    was quite shocked when i saw the logo, it was the statue of a
    woman, with book on her head. “Does this mean we will
    have to read and cram like mad?” I said to Moji, who
    laughed at me like i didn’t know what i was saying. “The
    statue represents culture, and the book depicts learning as
    the motto states” She answered, clearing my ignorance. I
    was so surprised that she knew that, since we were both
    ‘freshers’, so i asked her how she knew that. “My dad
    graduated from OAU.”She Answered.
    We entered the school gate, and took a bus into campus. As
    we were in the bus, i thought to myself, “I won’t want to
    make the same mistake i made with Sandra. This one, i must
    surely get her my number. So i gave her my (palasa) phone
    boldly and said to her. “Something is wrong with my phone,
    can you help fix it?” She looked at me like I didn’t know what
    i was saying, collecting the phone from me. “What is it?” she
    asked. Looking at her like ‘lucosade’, i answered and said.
    “Your number is not in it”. She laugged hysterically, and i
    joined in the laughter. Then she said “you are so funny,
    simple ‘can i have your number will do the trick.’ She took
    the phone, and pressed in some 11 digits.
    Though, my phone wasn’t quite cool, all the keys were
    functioning properly and i was so proud of it. I was given
    bedspace in Awolowo Hall, while Moji was given in
    Mozambique Hall. So i came down from the Bus before her.
    Because there is still a turn before getting to her hostel. I
    waved at her, and said “see ya” she smiled and replied
    same. This is not like Sandra’s case where i wasn’t sure i was
    going to see her again. Even if i didn’t take Moji’s number,
    we were in the same department anyway.
    I entered my hostel, it was quite crowdy, as people were
    going up and down, dragging bags and lockers. Indeed,
    school had resumed.

    Episode 8

    “Block 2, Room 109, Bed no 9, Upper Bunk.” That was written
    on my accommodation slip, meaning; that was the room
    allocated to me, Awolowo Hall is so Big that i almost got lost,
    looking for ‘Block 2’, but after questioning so many people, i
    got to my room. That was when i met ‘Nigga Black’.
    ‘Nigga Black’, whose real name was Emmanuel was a part 3
    student of psychology. Seriously, i have never seen someone
    so dark. You cannot see him and not notice his ‘darkness’.
    We call him other names like: Albino, Kiwi Ambassador,
    Black Maria etc. But he was just dark on the outside, he had
    a pure heart. So calm, so gentle, never offended and easy
    going.
    ‘Nigga Black’ took my load from me, and showed me to my
    bedspace. I dropped my bed on it and carefully arranged all
    my load in the cupboard that was assigned to me. It was
    then that he started telling me stuffs about campus and
    hostel. He told me the story of ‘Africa’, how he was
    murdered in block 8. Fear gripped me, as he told me to calm
    down, that the days of cultists where over in OAU.
    So many other people started coming in, and here are my
    room mates: Nigga Black, Mayowa (A part one student of
    CPP), Matthew (A deeper life member, and a Direct Entry
    student of Mechanical Engineering), Olu (Final year student
    of accounting) Emeka (Final year student of Sociology) and
    Abdul (Final year student of Agric Economics)
    There were three bunks in the room, Nigga Black had been
    in the room since the year before so he just stayed in the
    room, squatting with us.
    There was a party then called “Anglomoz Party”. (Anglomoz
    is a place between Angola (A male hostel mainly for
    freshers) , Awolowo and Mozambique Hall where people
    (mostly boys and girls) meet to talk) It was organized by
    Awolowo hall chairman for all fresh-men. So Mayowa
    suggested that we attend the party, then i agreed since
    lecture was yet to start. It was a night party
    When we got to anglomoz, after we had stayed for about 5
    minutes, enjoying the various activities, Someone just
    covered my eyes with hands from the back. The last time i
    did that ‘rubbish’ was when i was in primary 5. I didn’t know
    what to say because i did not even know who it was, though i
    have very sensitive sense of smell and i knew that perfume’s
    smell was familiar. As i gently removed the hand and gentle turn back to see who it was, guess who???..

    Episode 9

    As i gently removed the hands, and turned back to see who
    it was, I saw Sandra standing behind me with that Smile of
    hers. “I thought I would never see you again” I said to her
    holding her hand. “It’s a small world remember?” She said to
    me. . . I introduced her to Mayowa and they shook hands.
    The three of us stayed at a spot, and enjoyed the opened
    party.
    The party was so interesting, as we enjoyed the various
    programmes. Some OAU upcoming artistes performed,
    some did a rap, others R and B. It was so much Fun. The
    popular “Jadon P” Swayed people of their feets, this was a
    guy who could create rhymes with whatever you show him.
    As if that was not enough, some girls came on stage, shaking
    their ‘backsides’ at the speed of light. Guys were shouting
    and encouraging these girls. “Who does that? How would you
    come on stage and shake your behind for 5 minutes?” I said.
    “It’s called twerking.” Sandra replied. After this, a comedian
    came on stage, cracking jokes and for real, this guy was
    really hilarious. Sandra was just laughing like a chicken.
    The MCs came on stage, they wanted to do what they called
    “devil’s basket”. So they were passing a basket, so that when
    the music stops, if the basket was still with you, you will
    come out, pick a piece of paper from the basket, and do
    whatever is written in it, or pay a fine of one thousand
    Naira.
    The basket went round and they stopped the music. Guess
    who was holding the basket? Sandra! I was shocked when
    the MCs shouted “come on stage”. She mounted the stage,
    picked a piece of paper and gave it to one of the MCs, he
    read it out. It reads “Bring out two guys, kiss one, and slap
    the other.” I was expecting that as a big girl, she would pay 1
    thousand, but i was extremely surprised when she came to
    Mayowa and I, and took both of us to the stage. I was so shy,
    but as a cool guy i had to compose and follow her. I was
    puzzled, because she was definitely going to slap one of us,
    and kiss the other. If she should kiss me, she would have to
    slap Mayowa, leaving Mayowa embarrassed. And if she
    should kiss Mayowa (which didn’t really seem likely) she
    would have to slap me, and i will be so embarrassed. As we
    got to the stage. . .
    What did Sandra do? Who did she slap? Who did she kiss?

    Episode 10

    As we got the stage, everything just went dark and silent, all
    the halogen lamps went off and the sound system stopped
    working. The generating plant had gone off, what happened
    to it, I really can’t understand. Some guys said they had seen
    a guy roaming around that area earlier. Probably, the guy
    poured salt into the fuel tank. But why exactly would he
    have done that? Well it’s a ‘win win’ for me.
    Well, everything had gone ‘blank’, so I had to humbly leave
    the stage. Sandra was already leaving the stage as I followed
    her. Mayowa was nowhere to be found, I thought he ran
    away immediately the lights went out, since he was at the
    verge of being slapped earlier. I can’t be more thankful for
    the whole ‘black out’. Was I really going to kiss a lady in front
    of people, expecting them to clap? “The only time that
    should happen is on my wedding day, even my mum will
    clap.” I thought to myself.
    People started leaving ‘anglomoz’, some were condemning
    the party, some were blaming the organizers. Some called
    the party a ‘flop’. All efforts to bring the generator back on
    was to no avail.
    I just stayed with Sandra, at one corner in Anglomoz area.
    We were just ‘gisting’ in the dark (That was around 2am). By
    the time we talked to a point, the whole of Anglomoz was
    already scanty, and there were few people there. She was
    such a saucy girl, a talkative. We ran out of things to discuss,
    so we were quiet for a while.
    Sandra broke the silence. “You wanna complete the game or
    pay the fine ?” She said. I was quite confused because I
    didn’t know she was referring to the ‘kiss-slap’ game. So I
    asked, “what are you talking about?” She replied briskly
    before I could even finish my question. “The devil’s basket of
    course”. My heart beat became 10 times faster, as I didn’t
    know what she was up to. But I just remained ‘the man’. “It’s
    just me here, and you have to slap someone and kiss
    another. How on earth do you want to go about that?” I
    asked, pretending to be cool with the whole situation. “Wait
    till you find out.” She answered. . . She stood up stood up,
    and went to a pole very close to where we sat, and slapped
    the pole twice with her left hand. “That’s the slap, now the
    kiss.” She said coming closer to me. A part of me was saying
    “do it!” and another was saying “don’t”. The closer she came,
    the more confused I was. . .

    Episode 11

    I gently placed my hands oh her shoulder, and slowly
    pushed her away. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”
    She looked at me for a while. “Are you the last born? Why
    are you making a big deal out of this? Seriously it’s no big
    deal.” She began to raise her voice. “You don’t have to shout.
    You are a very wonderful lady and I respect that. You are
    funny, outspoken and I like that fact. But don’t you think that
    by doing this, you are going overboard? We haven’t even
    known each other for up to three months. And as a matter
    of fact, this is the second time I’m seeing you in my whole
    life. . .” I explained so she could understand me, but she
    replied sharply. “Wait dude, what is the whole speech all
    about, I didn’t ask you to date me, neither did ask you to
    have s-x with me, it was just a kind gesture, it’s all fine, we
    are cool, I’m serious.” She started talking as if nothing had
    happened. “Are you sure you are not mad at me?” I asked.
    “Why would I be? I should be the one asking that question.”
    She replied.
    Since it was all settled, I thought it was time to go, then
    Sandra looked at me and said “I don’t have to beg you to ask
    for my number, do I?” I had totally forgotten to ask for her
    number, the whole drama that just happened between us
    has really destabilized me, that I didn’t even remember to
    do that. “My bad!!! I’m sorry I totally forgot.” I brought out
    my ‘palasa’ and gave it to her, she looked at the phone, then
    she smiled, collected the phone and pressed in two
    numbers, and saved them as ‘Sandra 1’ and ‘Sandra 2’
    respectively.
    “I don’t have to beg you to ask for my number, do I.” I
    repeated the same thing she had said earlier. So she
    brought out her PHONE. Yes! It has to be stressed, because
    that was what should be referred to as phone, and not my
    BB Tour. It was a Samsung ‘touch-screen’ phone, well I don’t
    know about now, but then, Samsung phones were
    considered to be one of the most expensive phones. I held
    the phone carefully to avoid stories that touch the heart, and
    pressed on the screen with my middle finger, my one and
    only phone number. It was then it occurred to me that she
    was a ‘rich kid’.
    We said good night to each other, and I gave her a hug, then
    we departed. That was around 3am, so I headed straight to
    my room. As I was going, I was wondering “this girl must be
    really rich o”. I got to my room, everyone had slept, Mayowa
    was on his bed sleeping too. I just climbed my bunk and
    slept.

    Episode 12

    It was 10am already, and I was still on my bed, sleeping. As
    the guys were laughing so loud, I had to wake up. Mayowa
    had been giving them the ‘party gist’. I pretended I was still
    sleeping as I listened to the conversation. . .
    Mayowa: That girl for slap my face true true o, as d blackout
    happen, omo na so I tear race o.
    Olu: It fit be say na you she go kiss na, anything fit happen o
    Emeka: If I hear say dat girl kiss am, make God con help you
    make that girl hand strong well well, your face for tear reach
    back. . .
    Emeka is a very funny guy, so when I heard what he said, I
    laughed loud, and they all knew I had been pretending all
    the while. Mayowa told the guys how scared he was when he
    thought he would be slapped. Then I narrated the part
    Mayowa didn’t get to see; how she tried to kiss me, and how
    I refused. When Emeka heard this, matters took another
    turn, as he took the issue personal. “Guy, you dey craze o,
    how girl go wan kiss you, you come dey form holy holy, your
    father well well, your father yaga yaga. Girl wey you for do
    strong thing, make she know say you be man, you con dey
    do like p---y. Guy, you don fall my hand. If to say na me, I
    for show her say Jesus no get tribal marks”. Emeka made me
    feel I did something bad, and he really succeeded with the
    help of Olu and Mayowa. I told them more about Sandra,
    how we met and how she was just behaving. “Abeg, shey u
    go gimme dat girl?” Olu asked, and Emeka replied him “Guy
    free that part 1 girl for our guy o, make him flex, make him
    dey alright”.
    Seriously, the whole conversation we had that day made me
    regret just rejecting Sandra that day, I wished I had done
    more. “There will surely be another chance, and if the
    chance is not forth-coming, I will create it.” I said to myself. I
    had gotten her number already, so things won’t be difficult.
    That day, there was an orientation programme for freshers,
    but Mayowa and I didn’t bother to go, since Emeka and Olu
    told us it wasn’t really important. They told us they were
    always saying ‘ase’ (irrelevant stuffs).
    We continued our registration, going from library to the
    health center to the department to the faculty submitting
    one document or the other. It was really stressful. We were
    asked to pay dues to the faculty and departments and we
    did. After like 2 weeks, lectures were going to start. So many
    materials were introduced to us, and we bought the ones we
    could. Lectures were going to commence, my university life
    was about to start in full.

    Episode 13

    It was a Sunday, lectures were going to start the following
    day, and since I came to school, I had not gone to church,
    two Sundays had passed already. My mum is a very devoted
    Christian, thank God money is not the criteria for being a
    deaconess in my church, she wouldn’t have had the chance.
    She had taught me not to miss any Sunday service, as it is
    written “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.” My
    mother had taught me to go to church 52 Sundays a year, 53
    if possible, but what exactly was wrong with me, I couldn’t
    figure out what was going on with me.
    I decided to go to church, I talked Mayowa into going with
    me and he agreed. So we decided to go to ‘Church of Christ’.
    It was a popular church then, known for quick and short
    services. The day ‘holy spirit takes control’, and they have to
    stay longer than usual, that is when they use up to two
    hours. Since most students do not like long services, this
    church had so many members.
    The service was meant to start by 10am and end latest by
    12pm. Mayowa and I got to church around 10:30, as a
    protocol member gently led us to our seat. The sitting was
    strictly on a ‘sit as you come’ basis. It was a praise and
    worship session, the lady leading was so blessed. As at the
    time we entered, she was singing the song: “We give you all
    the glory. . . We worship you our lord . . . you are worthy to
    be praised. . . You are alpha, and omega”. The song really
    touched me, as I lifted my hands to reference God as the
    beginning and the end of my life.
    There was a lady just there beside me with a pair of glasses
    on, whose ‘part’ was very correct and loud. I know about
    music, as I can play the keyboard, the drum set quite well,
    and I can also sing. The lady caught my attention, she had a
    pair of glasses on, and she lifted up both hands, singing
    from the depth of her hearth. “Well, that shouldn’t distract
    my worship.” I said to myself. I continued, as I was thinking
    back on what God has done for me, success, provision, and
    grace. All I could do was to thank him. It was time to dance, I
    danced like there was no tomorrow, I was so happy to be in
    the presence of God, I knew I had done what’s right.
    Then the lady leading the praises said “hold a person beside
    you and say (singing) we are going higher, we are going
    higher. . . ” I held the lady with glasses I had been admiring
    all the while. Well, she didn’t see any thing wrong with it as
    we both sang the song.
    The sermon came on, the pastor preached on the topic “he’s
    able”. The pastor showed us the power of God, and the
    ability of God to do all things for us, and through us. He
    used Ephesians 3:20 as his anchor text. It was a wonderful
    message. I can never forget it.
    The pastor concluded the message, and the ‘first-timers’
    were asked to stand up for recognition. Mayowa and i stood
    up, and to my surprise, the lady beside me stood up too.

    Episode 14

    So many other first timers stood up, we were celebrated,
    and we were asked to follow a guy who gave us a form to fill.
    The form has a part asking whether or not we would like to
    Join the church, if we would like to Join the work force, and
    what unit we would like to Join. Mayowa filled No/Nil all
    through, he never liked church anyways. I filled yes all
    through, and I answered that I wanted to join the choir. The
    girl did the same, so I was forced to talk to her. “You sing
    pretty well.” I said to her. She looked at me, trying to be sure
    that I was talking to her. “You mean me?” She asked. “Yes,
    you.” I answered.
    Mayowa was already getting angry with the whole situation,
    because he doesn’t like ‘church-girls’, so he didn’t really like
    the fact that I was talking to her. Since he filled ‘No’, that he
    didn’t want to join the church, he didn’t have to wait for any
    extra meeting. He told me he was going already, then I said
    bye to him. So the girl answered me. “that I chose to join the
    choir, doesn’t mean I can sing. Wait! Were you peeping into
    my form? I denied briskly. ” No, it was when you were
    singing beside me that I heard your voice, and discovered
    that you sing so well.” She looked at me suprisingly and said
    “during that awesome worship, you were noticing someone’s
    voice?” I answered immediately. “No, it’s not like that, I’m
    just so sensitive to sound”. . .
    We continued the conversation. . .
    Me: So what part do you take exactly?
    The girl: I take all parts, but I mainly take alto
    Me: Wow that’s just like me, but the difference is that I’m
    more comfortable taking tenor.
    The girl: That’s really great. I’m Aramide, what’s your name?
    Me: Please pardon my manners, I’m Dapo. It’s really nice
    meeting you.
    Aramide: The pleasure is all mine. You are in what
    department?
    Me: MCB, what about you?
    Aramide: English Language. . .
    We were going to continue the conversation, but some guys
    came to address us, to tell us about becoming a member, a
    ‘worker’ and other things like that.
    Immediately after the meeting, we prayed, and when I
    opened my eyes, I didn’t see Aramide. Where she went, I
    didn’t know. I just took my bible, and started going to my
    hostel. Right there and then, I knew I had fallen in love.
    Aramide is so beautiful, she speaks softly. She isn’t like
    Sandra who talks like a parrot. She’s God fearing, and she is
    nice too. I knew it was too early to conclude, but that was my
    conclusion.
    I took a bus and headed straight to my hostel, since I was
    going to start lectures the following day.
    Now I have Sandra, my lousy, saucy friend, Moji my FDF,
    then Aramide whom I really love.

    Episode 15

    I got to my room, and I met Mayowa, already sleeping. I just
    went straight into preparing for the next day’s work. Mayowa
    had cooked ‘condition rice’ before sleeping. So I ate, then I
    tried sleeping too. It was then my phone rang, it was my
    mum. That was the second time she was calling me since I
    resumed school. I was so happy to hear from her. I
    apologized to her for not calling her earlier, I told her I have
    been busy with registration activities.
    She told me a lot of things, and repeated the ‘Ranti Omo Eni
    Ti o n Se’ speech. But what surprised me the most was that
    this time around, more emphasis was laid on ‘No 3’ of the
    list. She kept on telling me to be careful with girls, maybe
    she had seen some things in the realm of the spirit
    concerning me. I thanked her, and told her, I won’t let her
    down, then she ended the call.
    Lectures were going to start the following day, it was going to
    start with an ‘8 o’ clock’ chemistry class which would last for
    an hour. Abdul told us (Mayowa and I) to get to the venue as
    early as 6:30, or else, we won’t get a sit. We considered it as
    an exaggerated fact, how can we go for a class, 1 hour, 30
    minutes earlier.
    Mayowa started the ‘church-gist’ in the evening around 8pm.
    He told Emeka and Olu how I was behaving like a ‘church-
    freak’. Those ones, blamed me too, they said I should have
    followed him when he said he was coming to the hostel,
    after all we went together. Mayowa started talking about
    Aramide, how I was talking to her, about music, and he had
    to leave, since he didn’t like music talks. Emeka was
    surprised that I was talking to a girl again. “Guy, you be
    woman rapper o, you never even finish Sandra patrol, you
    don dey start another one.” Emeka said to me. “Watin be the
    girl name self?” He asked. “Aramide” I answered. I didn’t tell
    them I have fallen in love. We talked till around 12am, and
    slept.
    We woke up around 7am, we rushed up and by 7:45am, we
    left the hostel for the Chemistry class.

    Episode 16

    When we got to the class, what Abdul told us turned out to
    be true. We got to the class 7:55am, and the whole ‘lecture
    theatre’ was filled to the brim. Some people sat on the floor,
    while others were standing, holding their notes.
    The lecturer was not around yet, so the place was so rowdy.
    People were walking up and down, looking for empty,
    unnoticed seats. Mayowa and I joined in the quest. This
    quest was for people who didn’t want to sit on the floor, or
    stand all through. As we were going to the front, looking
    around, someone was waving at me, it was my FDF (Moji).
    I went to her, and she offered me a seat, right in the third
    row. I managed to ‘enter’, managing the space with mayowa
    “You kept the sit for me?” I asked her. “No, not exactly, I kept
    it for my roommate, who later decided to sit at the back with
    her friends, she said she doesn’t like sitting in front. When I
    just saw you, I decided to give my FDF the seat.” She
    answered. “That was thoughtful of you.” I said. “Yeah right!”
    She answered.
    The lecturer came around 8:05am, and when he entered,
    everywhere became as a grave yard. You could literarily
    hear the sound of a falling pin. The man started by
    welcoming us to the university system, as he laughed at
    those sitting down on the floor. He told us he is also a
    graduate of OAU, and during his time it wasn’t that bad.
    He welcomed us to the course ‘CHM101’, he was successful
    in planting the seeds of fear in our hearts after telling us the
    high percentage of people that do fail the course, and cases
    of people who had extra sessions just because of this
    course. He discovered that he had only succeeded in causing
    panic, he told us that it’s not that difficult, all we had to do
    was to study well, and everything was going to be fine. Now,
    everyone became a bit relieved, then he started taking the
    course.
    Since it was the first class, he just gave us the course outline
    and recommended some texts. He talked about ‘readings’
    and ‘errors’, and before we knew it, it was 9:00am already,
    and we had to end the lecture, as some students of ‘arts and
    humanities’ were already waiting outside to use the same
    venue for their lecture.
    The lecturer ended the class, and everywhere was conjested,
    about 1500 people were trying to exit the hall, while about
    750 were trying to come in. “You didn’t even call me at all,
    after I fixed your phone.” Moji said to me as we were slowly
    moving to the exit. “Why didn’t you call me too?” I shifted the
    blame briskly, I had forgotten that I didn’t give her my
    number. “You didn’t give me your number, it was your
    phone I fixed, you didn’t get to fix mine”. She said to me.
    Now it occurred to me that I didn’t give her my number.
    “Oya ma binu, I totally forgot.” . . This time, we had gotten to
    the exit. We continued the conversation, as we were going to
    the hostel. Mayowa wasn’t angry with the whole thing in
    anyway. in fact, he was joining in the conversation the little
    way he could. . .

    Episode 17

    “So what have you been eating, all the while? Do you cook?”
    Moji asked me. “I cook a lot, but my foodstuffs have finished
    already, I only have small garri left. I don’t even know what
    to eat tonight.” I answered. “Wow, that’s serious. Please,
    flash me with your number.” I was surprised at what she
    said, I was telling her, I didn’t know what to eat that night,
    and all she could do was to talk about something else. “She
    is not my mother anyway.” I said to myself, and flashed her
    as she said, and she saved my number.
    “Have you gotten your practical manuals?” She asked. “No I
    haven’t, I will get it from the class rep probably tomorrow”. I
    answered. We talked about lot’s of stuffs, and before we
    knew it I had gotten to my hostel, but we went through
    anglomoz and entered my hostel through the annex. So that
    we (Mayowa and I) walked her to her hostel. She really
    appreciated it, as we shook hands and went our separate
    ways.
    As we were going into the room, Mayowa and I stated a
    conversation. . .
    Mayowa: Dapo, I swear, that girl like you die.
    Me: (laughing) why did you say that?
    Mayowa: didn’t you see the way she was looking at you,
    even when the lecture was on going?
    Me: I didn’t notice o. But guy wait, why you wan spoil my life,
    you say make I follow Sandra up, I dey try follow am, now
    this one again. What exactly do you want me to do, even if
    she really likes me?
    Mayowa: don’t talk like that now, Sandra is just a street girl
    wey you go chop clean mouth, but this one na very good girl
    o.
    Me: And Aramide?
    Mayowa: Those church girls aren’t really what they claim to
    be, most of them are pretenders.
    Me: Well, if there is any good girl among the three of them, I
    think it us Aramide and not Moji.
    Mayowa: You fit no see girl wey go like you like this again o,
    I don talk my own o. . .
    We got to the room, and Mayowa and I had minutes of
    argument, just because he said Moji is more beautiful than
    Aramide. Sandra is the most beautiful, no doubt about that.
    But Aramide is more beautiful than Moji. Well, beauty they
    say, is in the eyes of the beholder, and Mayowa isn’t
    certainly that beholder. I told him most of these things and
    he was just laughing.
    I was running out of cash, and didn’t even know what to eat
    that night. I called my mum, and all she did was to complain
    to me about how ‘hard’ things were at home, how her fruit
    business was almost crumbling.
    I sat on my bed, I was so depressed. I didn’t tell anyone
    what I was going through. In fact, only Mayowa knew I had
    lost my father. I was deep in thought, then my phone rang.
    Guess who it was!

    Episode 18

    To my surprise, it was Moji. That was around 6pm. “Why
    exactly is she calling me?” I said to myself. I picked the call. .
    .
    Me: Moji, whatsup naw, so good to hear from you.
    Moji: yeah right. Where are you please?
    Me: My room.
    Moji: Have you eaten?
    Me: (getting curious)No, not yet.
    Moji: I’m cooking rice now, and I was thinking, that if you
    won’t mind, I can bring you some.
    Me: Seriously, that’s so thoughtful of you. I won’t mind at all.
    In fact I can’t wait to taste your delicacy.
    Moji: (laughing) I will call you when the food is ready, you
    will come and take it at Anglomoz.
    Me: Thanks so much Moji, I really do appreciate you.
    Moji: Never mind, what are friends for. I will call you when
    it’s ready. Bye.
    Me: Bye, thanks (she ended the call).
    I told Mayowa about the whole ‘package’. “I told you she
    likes you, you were pretending you didn’t know. Anyway, me
    i go chop o.” He said. I answered and said, “you just said this
    girl likes me, what if the food she is bringing me contains
    love portion, I will eat alone o so that I won’t implicate you.”
    Mayowa answered immediately. “Let the love portion catch
    us together o, I don dey notice say I no dey love these days,
    it be like say I need love portion wey go ginger my ministry.”
    We started whining each other, as we both laughed. I was
    pulling his legs, and he was equally up to the task.
    Some minutes after 7, Moji called me that she was waiting at
    Anglomoz already. I went there with Mayowa. When we got
    there, Moji was quite surprised to see that I came with
    Mayowa. “You and this your friend, you are just like the snail
    and it’s shell”. She said. “We are like twin brothers.” Mayowa
    answered. Moji handed over a cooler to me, in a black
    nylon. I opened it, it contained white rice, stew, and two fish.
    “Moji, seriously you are a darling. Thank you so much.” I
    said to her and gave her a hug. “You don’t have to thank me,
    what are friends for? You know you told me in the morning,
    that you didn’t even know what to eat tonight. I can’t hear
    that and do nothing about it. That’s why I took your number
    so I could call you.” Since I told moji in the morning that I
    didn’t know what to eat that night, she didn’t forget about it
    and brought me food. “Maybe it was my dad in action
    (Yoruba beliefs).” I said to myself. I took the food, said ‘bye’
    to Moji, and went back to the hostel.
    We got to the hostel and saw Emeka. “You guys went to buy
    food?” He asked. “No,I went to collect it from Moji at
    Anglomoz.” I answered. “Who be Moji again?” He asked. “She
    is a girl in my department, I met her on the bus when I was
    coming to Ife.” I answered. The guy told me what just
    happened is called ‘cooler ministry’. For those of you that
    have been getting or giving food via cooler. What you’re
    doing is what Emeka called ‘cooler ministry’. It is not bad
    though, it’s totally good as long as it is done with a good
    heart, both on the giving end, and on the receiving end.
    Mayowa and I ate the rice, Moji is such a good cook. The
    stew tasted almost like my mum’s. I felt at home for the first
    time, since I came to Ife, I had been eating ‘condition rice’.
    “What a wonderful girl Moji is”. I said to myself.

    Episode 19

    The next day was a Tuesday, and that day was bible study in
    my church. I didn’t want to go, as I could have just stayed in
    the room to read. Because that was a chance to see Aramide
    again. I wore my only and best pair of shoes, a white shirt
    with a black pant, and a red tie. I looked at myself in the
    mirror, and I looked really good. So I headed straight for
    church.
    I got to church early, and I had to seat in front. The 2nd row
    precisely. In a service of about 800 people, how exactly was I
    going to see Aramide? The pastor really preached, as I could
    remember that he was going up, and coming down. My
    mind wasn’t in the service. I was just surveying the whole
    congregation. But I couldn’t find her. “Maybe she didn’t
    come at all.” I thought to myself. Aramide to me didn’t look
    like someone who would miss weekdays’ service unless she
    has to be unavoidably absent.
    After about 1 hour 30 minutes, the whole programme ended
    and we shared the grace. I looked around, but couldn’t see
    any ‘lookalike’ of her. Well, I had to give up, as I was trying to
    show a strong resolve, though I was very sad on the inside.
    As I was on the main road looking for a bus, someone called
    my name. “Dapo!” I knew it was her, or let me say I wished it
    was her. But you know, wishes do come true. Indeed, it was
    Aramide.
    Aramide: I looked around and didn’t see you, I thought you
    didn’t come.
    Me: Really? I sat at the second row in front. (The reply
    should have been; same here, but I didn’t want to be
    forward)
    Aramide: Hope you enjoyed the message?
    Me: Definitely, I did. The man of God is just so blessed and
    anointed.
    Aramide: Did you hear when he talked about the health
    center?
    Me: Yeah, it was really profound. (I didn’t listen to anything, I
    just didn’t want to look like a bad Christian).
    The buses were coming, but so many people were there,
    also trying to get a bus. Which means that one would have to
    struggle to enter the bus, since it was just some minutes to
    7pm, I just continued my conversation with Aramide, and
    didn’t bother rushing for the bus. Aramide did same.
    Me: So what church to you attend at hone?
    Aramide: RCC
    Me: Redeem?
    Aramide: Yeah sure.
    Me: So you are a redeemer?
    Aramide: (Laughing) Jesus is the redeemer, and I’m just the
    redeemed.
    Me: Wow, nice analysis.
    We continued discussing, and it was getting really
    interesting. We just continued. . .
    Aramide: Actually, to be sincere, I’ve been looking for you
    since I entered church. Because there is something I want to
    ask you, and something I want to tell you.
    Me: (My heart beat became ten times faster, because the girl
    in question is a girl I liked since the first time I saw her. “Is
    she going to ask me to date her? or tell me she liked me? Or.
    . .” I kept wondering what she wanted to say as I prepared
    my big YES for the big question. I was keeping mute for too
    long, so I had to say something) You said you want to tell me
    something, and ask me a question. Which one do you want
    to do exactly?
    Aramide: (Laughing) Both.
    Me: (Now it seems like it’s what I was thinking, but I just kept
    calm) So let’s hear the question.
    Aramide: The question is: DO YOU. . .

    Episode 20

    “Do you have a consistent prayer life?” She asked. When I
    heard the question, it was as if I had been dreaming all the
    while. What I thought the question would be was “do you
    love me?” But come to think of it, how can a girl I’m meeting
    for the second time ask me such question? My love for
    Aramide had probably affected my psychology. Even if she
    was so cheap, she couldn’t have asked that question so
    soon. Even Sandra can’t ask such question. She discovered
    that I was thinking for too long, then she broke the silence. .
    .
    Aramide: Why are you quiet? You really don’t have a prayer
    life. Do you?
    Me: (I was quite bewildered) Actually, I do have a prayer life.
    But it hasn’t been really consistent since I came to school.
    You know Awo is not really a place you can pray
    comfortably.
    Aramide: Prayer isn’t about being convenient. Its a sacrifice
    you make in and out of convenience. As a Christian, prayer
    is very important. This is because God is our father, and
    without communication, we can’t have a good relationship
    with him. And the only way to talk to God is through prayer.
    Me: That’s very true. You told me you both want to ask me
    something and tell me something, you’ve asked your
    question, what did you want to tell me? (Hoping for some
    ‘good news’.)
    Aramide: You know what? For the past 3 days, I’ve been
    going to the sports complex to pray. And if you don’t mind
    we can become prayer partners.
    Me: (I didn’t really like religious activities, but agreeing will
    make me closer to the one I love) Why not? I would really
    love to.
    Aramide: If that’s the case, give me your number. So I can
    call you when I’m going.
    Me: Alright then. . .
    We exchanged numbers, and later on, we got a bus. Her
    hostel was Alumni, she got off the bus when she got to her
    hostel. “I will call you” She said.
    I got to my hostel and told Mayowa the whole story. He
    made jest of me, and told me that he had warned me earlier
    about church girls. No matter what he said, I was still going
    to go anyway. If praying would make me closer to the one I
    love, I decided to become a prayer warrior.
    The following day? Aramide called me as she promised and
    we went to pray together. We prayed for almost an hour.
    That was around 8pm-9pm. That became our regular
    praying time after which we will go to read. Aramide taught
    me a lot of things (not academics). I really gained a lot from
    being her prayer partner. We were always together from
    8pm till 12am everyday. My academics and spiritual life took
    a new turn.
    That made me love her so much, I was literarily burning with
    passion. “But what if I tell her and she decides to stop being
    my prayer and reading partner? How will I forgive myself? It
    is better to keep mute and not lose her, than to to tell her
    my feelings for her and lose her. If she should tell me “NO”,
    our relationship and closeness can never be the same.” I
    thought to myself.
    So I decided to keep my feelings for Aramide to myself, and
    keep it strictly on friends basis. Though it was really painful,
    but I had to learn to control myself.

    Episode 21

    The friendship between Mayowa and I was put to test.
    Mayowa didn’t like Aramide, he isn’t Godly. His name
    “Oluwamayowa” which means “God brought joy” shows his
    background. “Adedeji Oluwamayowa Samuel”. Samuel is his
    baptismal name which means he had been baptized. But all
    he does is to party, go to bars, drink and get high, and sleep
    around with girls in corners of campus. He wasn’t a lover
    boy like me. He is quite handsome anyway, and he had been
    in the game way before he came on campus. I really liked
    Mayowa, because looking beyond the fact that he wasn’t
    really Godly, he was very nice. So I had to talk to him to sort
    out our differences. It was so difficult making that decision
    because there is no way I would be close to him and not
    copy some of his evil ways. I talked to him about Aramide,
    and he said to me. “I know say u no dey religious, so u are
    only doing all this because you want to sleep with that girl?” .
    . . Then we had a long conversation.
    Me: I never said I want to sleep with her, I just said I love
    her.
    Mayowa: If you love her then you can marry her?
    Me: I’m lookin forward to it.
    Mayowa: So when you get married, won’t you guys have s-x?
    Me: That will eventually happen. But that’s not why I love
    her, I just love her because she has a pure heart and that’s
    all.
    Mayowa: Stop being a fool dude! No woman on earth has a
    pure heart, even my mama no get pure heart. You need to
    be smart, and step up your game.
    Me: Okay, but the first time I saw her I felt a kind of bond. I
    just know she is the one for me. I just know it.
    Mayowa: There he goes again. You know what, if you won’t
    listen to what I have to tell you, then this conversation is
    over. Go ahead and do whatever you want to do. I’m solidly
    behind you
    Me: Mayo, just try and understand me, you are saying all
    these because you have never been in love.
    Mayowa: (looking at me, and talking gently like my mum) It’s
    true I haven’t been in love before, the same way I haven’t
    seen a dinosaur before. Because both don’t exist. You can’t
    afford to limit yourself with that feeling that is just virtual,
    you still have a long way to go. You need to have fun. It’s like
    having a DSTV and watching just one station, you will surely
    get bored. At some point, you have to change channels.
    Don’t say I didn’t warn you o (He left the room)
    I was so deep in thought as I meditated on what Mayowa
    had told me. Everything sounded kind of right. Nothing
    seemed wrong with what he said. I didn’t want to do it
    anyway, because the outcome might be unbearable for me. I
    continued the whole stuff with Aramide. Praying-reading
    together.
    Moji remained very nice to me. She had been buying me
    stuffs and giving me food. I would go, get the food at
    Anglomoz with Mayowa. Moji and I became so close that I
    told her everything about my past. She was so sad. I told her
    about the condition at home. She was really kind to me. She
    was really nice to me. She is a really good girl, but Aramide’s
    love had so blinded me that I couldn’t see anything coming
    forth from that relationship than friends. In fact, I made
    Moji very close friend, I call her always and tell her stuffs I
    can’t even tell Mayowa. Soon, Moji became my best friend.
    She was such a good person to me. She’s a really nice
    person.
    * * * * *
    I was on my bed one Friday morning, I had forgotten
    already that Sandra even exist. So I just decided to give her
    a call. I called her first number then it was switched off.
    Thank God she had two numbers. I called the second one it
    rang then she picked it.

    Episode 22

    As she picked the call, what I heard was “so you still have my
    number?” That’s Sandra for you, she says it the way she sees
    it, she doesn’t form. . .
    Me: Sandra, you see I’ve been very busy with school work,
    practicals and all. It’s been very tiring. Biko, ma binu.
    Sandra: I would have called you but I just wanted to give you
    time to miss me.
    Me: Seriously, it really worked, I’ve been thinking about you
    all day, so I just decided to give you a call.
    Sandra: (She laughed) Anyway, what are you doing tonight?
    Me: Nothing really. (I had forgotten that I had to go pray-
    reading with Aramide) Why did you ask?
    Sandra: I’m going for TGIF party at ‘NEW BUKA’ later in the
    evening, if you don’t mind, we can go together.
    Me: (Stammering) Hem hem eer, the thing is I’m really broke
    right now, and I can’t afford to go there. Maybe some other
    time, I’ll call you so we can go.
    Sandra: See this guy o, who told you to hold money, I’m
    paying for the whole thing.
    Me: (Surprised) Really, Sandra thank you so much, you are a
    darling. You are such a wonderful girl.
    Sandra: Hmmm, if you say so. I’ll call you by 10pm, anyway
    thanks for the call.
    Me: Are you whining me? I should be thanking you for the
    kind gesture.
    Sandra: I’ll call you joor, bye (She ended the call)
    It was when I dropped the call that it occurred to me that I
    had to see Aramide that night so we could pray, and go read
    afterwards. I was so puzzled. “Should I call Sandra that I
    won’t be able to make it? Or call Aramide that I won’t be able
    to make it?” I pondered on it for about two hours, and could
    not decide on what to do.
    As I was wondering, a call came in, who was it? It was Moji.
    She called to tell me that we had ‘zoology practical’ by 1pm. I
    had forgotten totally about the practical. I went for the
    practical which lasted for about 2 hours. I didn’t really
    concentrate during the practical, my mind was just
    processing different lies I could tell one of the two. Moji
    noticed that I wasn’t myself so she came to me. “Are you
    sure you are fine?” She asked me. “I’m totally fine.” I
    answered.
    The practical was over, I left the venue, took a bike, and
    went straight to the hostel. On a normal day I would have
    waited for Moji, but she is very observant and I won’t want
    to lie to her again.
    When I got to the hostel, I decided to call Sandra and tell her
    that I won’t be able to go for the party anymore. As I picked
    my phone to call Sandra, the process was interrupted by a
    call. It was Aramide. I picked the call, quite surprised. . .
    Me: Hello Mide, whatsup naw.
    Aramide: I’m not feeling to well, and I won’t be able to come
    to the prayer meeting tonight. You can just pray in your
    hostel. I pray that by tomorrow, I would have gotten better.
    Me: (I was very excited, but I was trying to hide it) Eeyah,
    please take good care of yourself, and rest well. I will check
    on you tomorrow dear.
    Aramide: Alright dear, take care too. Bye (she ended the call)
    .
    I was so excited as I thought all my problems were solved. I
    took my best T-shirt wore it when Sandra called me. With a
    nice pair of Jean-trousers and shoes. I went to Anglomoz,
    and saw her. Her make-up shows that she was ready for me
    that night. She is a very tempting lady, when I saw her that
    night, I was ready to give her whatever it takes. I was ready
    to show her I’m a man just like Emeka said. We walked
    slowly to new buka. As we were going gently, Sandra kept
    coming close to me just as if she was going to enter into me.
    The more she drew close to me, the closer i drew to her. It
    was indeed a ‘do me I do you’ affair. Before I knew it, my
    hands were round her waist, and we were walking to new
    buka like the couples that we were not.
    Finally, we got to new buka. When we got there, guess who I
    saw drinking and dancing with different guys. . .
    Who did he see? It might not be who you are thinking

    Episode 23

    Finally, we got to new buka. Guess who I saw drinking and
    dancing with different guys. It was the love of my life –
    Aramide. I was so bewildered. I was confused. I was
    perplexed. “It can’t be her!!!” I was so confused that I just
    kept repeating the same thing. “It can’t be her. It can’t be
    her. It can’t be her. . .” My doubt was cleared when a guy
    called her “Mide”. Why exactly did she lie to me? We were
    supposed to have a prayer meeting that night but she told
    me she couldn’t come because she wasn’t feeling fine. The
    most painful part was that she was holding a bottle or
    ‘trophy’. She was so drunk that she couldn’t even see or
    notice the way the guys were touching her sensitive parts.
    I wasn’t really grown spiritually, I thought Aramide was God
    sent. She had really helped me to grow spiritually. In fact, at
    some point, she was the one I discussed spiritual stuffs with.
    I was so deep in thought, and I thought for a second about
    Mayowa the ‘flashback’ came. “No woman on earth has a
    pure heart, even my mama no get pure heart”. Tears were
    rolling down my cheeks as I couldn’t control them. I had to
    go out of the venue to avoid embarrassment.
    The Aramide that had been teaching me to be a good person
    wasn’t an Angel after all. It was really painful. I cried, cried,
    cried and cried. It was a really bad experience. I shouted so
    loud “To hell with love!!! . . .To hell with church girls!!! . . .I
    hate them!!! . . . No woman has a pure heart!!!” I was
    literarily roaring like an angry lion.
    Sandra had been looking for me, so she saw me outside,
    under a tree. When I saw her coming I wiped my tears as if
    nothing had happened. I said to her before she could ask
    questions. “Let the Party Begin” I went straight into the bar,
    took two bottles of trophy, one for me and one for Sandra.
    That was the first time I tasted alcohol. It didn’t taste sweet
    like ‘Fanta’ but I just kept drinking. I knew it was wrong, but I
    was just drinking and drinking. And everything started fading
    off. I couldn’t see well again, yet I continued. I didn’t know
    what happened, but I could remember everyone was
    looking at me and laughing. I knew I had lost control and
    was dancing uncontrollably like a mad man. And before I
    knew it, my senses stopped working right. I couldn’t
    remember anything that happened. Whether Aramide saw
    me or not, I didn’t know and I didn’t even care.
    * * * * *
    I woke up and found myself in a room. I had just my boxers
    on. I was in my right senses. The room was smelling nice, it
    was a guest house. “How exactly did I get here? What
    happened over the night? Did I sleep here alone?” I kept
    asking myself these questions. As I was asking myself these
    questions, my doubt was cleared when Sandra came out of
    the bathroom with Towel. I was really baffled. . .
    Me: Don’t tell me it’s what I’m thinking.
    Sandra: (chuckled) it depends on what you are thinking, if
    what you are thinking is that we had s-x, yes we did! And to
    be sincere, you are such a horse. At first I didn’t want to, but
    you just kept begging me for more.
    Me: (My heartbeat became faster, a part of me was saying
    “that’s my boy”. Another was saying “what have you done?” I
    felt what I did was best, since Aramide can be like that, why
    can’t I be anything I want to be) I’m just the man
    Sandra: Yes you are the man. My Dapo is the man
    We both laughed, and she came to me and planted a kiss on
    my lips, it was like a bolt was loosened in my brain. And
    before I knew it, the towel went off and it happened again.
    This time, I can’t blame it on alcohol because I did that in my
    right senses.
    Sandra paid for the guest house till Sunday morning so I was
    with her. We got so intimate most times. It was so good to
    me. To me, I thought my life just got ten times better. It was
    Sunday morning, and we went back to our hostels.
    I didn’t say anything to Mayowa about it or anybody in the
    room. Not even Moji. In fact, I didn’t even think of that,
    because how on earth will I explain it? how do I tell her?
    What do I say to her. I just kept calm in the room. Though I
    was devastated by the true identity of Aramide, I thought
    sleeping with Sandra had solved the whole problem. But I
    was wrong.
    This is the problem, it is not wrong to have someone you
    look up to, in any sphere of life, be it in religion or in
    business. But don’t be too dependent on their outcome or
    their conduct to inspire you. This is because if they fail, you
    will most certainly lose focus and fail too. And that was what
    happened to me. I didn’t regret my actions one bit. I was
    looking forward to more of the act from Sandra.
    That Sunday morning, I didn’t go to church, and I had
    decided to stop going to church finally. As I was on my bed,
    around 1pm I got a call from Aramide. “Hello, Dapo, I didn’t
    see you at all in church today, what happened?” . . .
    Me: Who do you think I am, a fool? You are such an Idiot. I
    saw you at new buka the day before yesterday. So you’ve
    been deceiving me all the while, so you are not a saint after
    all. Don’t ever call my number again in your life.
    Aramide: (Chuckling). I understand the whole thing, but can
    you just hear me out?
    Me: Are you crazy? You know what, this conversation is over.
    (I ended the call).
    I was so angry, I threw my phone at the wall, and the screen
    got cracked.

    Episode 24

    I was really angry. The next day, I went for classes, but I
    discovered that I had lost concentration. I decided to share
    the problem with Mayowa, Olu and Emeka. At least, a
    problem shared they say is half solved. I narrated the whole
    story to them, and the conversation was as expected.
    Mayowa: ‘Idiota Oponulensis’ didn’t I tell you that the girl is
    nothing but a pretender. I told you but you wouldn’t listen.
    You were just fooling around for nothing all the while. These
    church girls are not always what they claim. So have you
    learnt your lesson now? Next time, when I talk to you, you
    will listen.
    Me: (I felt so bad) It’s not my fault now, the so called love I
    have for her is what blinded me.
    Emeka: (You should trust him naw) Abeg, make una calm
    down. The Aramide matter no pain me o, girls don craze tae
    tae. But watin dey baffle me be say all the programme wey
    una dey gather go na fake too? Na dat part I no understand.
    Olu: It was all drama joor, those bad girls will do anything to
    get a good guy.
    Emeka: Wait o, Dapo you don craze o. You drink high, con go
    f**k olosho for guest house. Me self wey dey final year, na
    inside Agric I dey run tins. If for part one, u don dey f**k for
    guest house, when u reach part 4, na also rock u go dey go
    o. Patience Jonathan must surely hear am for your hand o.
    Olu: The guy don bad die.
    Mayowa: The guy don dey alright now. Hin dey fumble
    before.
    Me: That Sandra girl bad die, she just dey do tins wey I no
    even sabi.
    Olu: I talk say make you gimme dat girl, u no wan gree.
    Emeka: Olu, watin dey do u self, wat of dat girl wey dey waka
    like who wan die, dat one never do you?
    Olu: I just dey whine am ni o. Me self get girls wey I never
    even handle finish. . .
    Those guys succeeded in encouraging me and pushing me
    into more of the act. I started going to bars with Mayowa, I
    started drinking and smoking. I totally stopped going to
    church.
    My cracked phone was a big disappointment. How would I
    be so angry to crack my one and only bb tour? I went to
    Sandra in the usual place, and when I got there, she kissed
    me for over 20 minutes. We should get an award for the
    world longest kiss. Then she said to me. “I have a surprise
    for you.” She blindfolded me. I was so scared, because
    Sandra was really crazy and could do something stupid. She
    then put a nylon in my hands. I didn’t see it, but I felt a box
    in the nylon. Sandra removed the cloth. Guess what it was, it
    was a brand new Samsung android, just like the one she was
    using. I was so glad. I kissed her so passionately and as a
    token for appreciation, ‘it’ happened again. Then we left the
    place.
    I was so eager to show my roommates. I showed it to them,
    they were so surprised. “Her papa na Obama?” Emeka said.
    The phone was so nice, it was so cool. My blackberry had
    cracked. The phone came when I really needed it. I was so
    glad.
    Moji saw the new phone, and asked me how I got the phone.
    I told her a friend got it for me. I saw unbelief in her eyes,
    but she didn’t ask me anymore questions. I felt bad that I
    was hiding stuffs from Moji, but how will I bring myself to
    tell her that a girl I’m sleeping with bought the phone for
    me. Moji had done a lot for me. I felt so bad hiding things
    from her.
    The affair continued between Sandra and I. She was always
    taking me out, buying me drinks. And after all that, we would
    make out. My christian life got totally down. I kept doing that
    ungodly act. In a way, it keeps me happy, and make me
    forget the disappointment and heartbreak I experienced
    with Aramide. But in the other way, whenever I think about
    my mum, and how much she has done for me, I can’t help
    but feel bad for what I was doing. That didn’t make me stop
    it after all.
    Aramide didn’t stop calling me, I didn’t pick her calls. But on
    the 8th day of the whole incident, I just decided to hear what
    she had to say to me.
    Aramide: Hello Dapo, I’m so glad you picked my call today.
    But why did you react that way. As a child of God, you
    shouldn’t react that way in situations like this.
    Me: Look at idiot o, you are such a w---e, so you did all the
    coming to church because you just wanted to sleep with me.
    You b---h!!!
    Aramide: Stop that Dapo, the Bible says “let no corrupt
    communication proceed out of your. . .”
    Me: (I didn’t let her finish) Shut up!!! I just believed that the
    devil knows the bible too you know what, I’m done with this
    conversation.
    Aramide: Dapo I’m. . . (I ended the call)
    This time I was really angry but I dropped my Samsung in
    my chest pocket to avoid stories that touch the heart. The
    phone vibrated. It was a message from Aramide. I opened it,
    abd it read “Dapo, we need to see and talk, I AM A TWIN”.
    Was she lying or she was being sincere?

    Episode 25

    “I’M A TWIN”. When I read the message, I was much more
    confused. Even if it was just mere resemblance, and it wasn’t
    really Aramide, I heard them call her ‘Mide’. “Is this one of
    the plans of this goat in sheep’s clothing to deceive me?” I
    thought to myself.
    I told Mayowa the whole thing. And Mayowa told me she
    was lying, that she isn’t a twin. I didn’t really believe
    Mayowa. A part of me believed what Aramide told me, while
    the other chose to believe what Mayowa said. But I decided
    to give Aramide a chance to prove to me that she was telling
    the truth. I called Aramide immediately. . .
    Aramide: Hello Dapo, thanks so much for calling. I do not
    take it for granted. Please listen to me. I’ve been trying to
    explain to you all the while that I have a twin sister. We are
    identical twins, and she isn’t born again. She drinks and does
    all sort of stuffs. I should be praying and reading with my
    sister but she doesn’t like any of the two that’s why I chose
    you. Please believe me. It wasn’t me you saw.
    Me: I don’t believe you. I will never believe you until I see
    for myself the two of you. Don’t send me pictures o. Meet
    me in Anglomoz right now with your twin sister
    Aramide: Yes, but she is not around right now. I’ve spoken to
    her about the mess she caused, I’ve convinced her to come
    meet you since that’s the only way to clear your doubts. I’ll
    call you when she’s back.
    Me: (chuckles) Alright, I will expect your call. (I ended the
    call)
    I thought to myself that she was lying, and that was why she
    said her twin sister was not around. But I was surprised
    when she called me after 30 minutes to tell me they were
    waiting for me at Anglomoz. When I got to Anglomoz, I saw
    Two ‘Aramides’. They were so alike, same eyes same nose,
    same hair type, though different styles. I was so sad. That
    was the reason I did backslide. It was such a terrible thing.
    So it wasn’t my Aramide that was at the bar. . .
    Aramide: Dapo meet my twin sister Ademide. Ademide,
    meet my prayer and reading partner Dapo
    Me: (Stretching my hands to Ademide) Its nice meeting you.
    Ademide: (Not reciprocating the handshake) Dude what’s up.
    I’m Ademide, and besides, I’m not here to make friends with
    you, I’m here to clean my mess. And now I hope everything
    is settled? I’m out! (She left)
    Aramide: (Her eyes were filled with tears than didn’t roll out)
    I’m really sorry, it was all my fault. ( She wanted to go, but I
    held her hand.)
    Me: (Humbly) See the resemblance, who wouldn’t have
    thought it was you. I know its my fault, I should have
    believed in you. How would you have done such a thing?
    How? It couldn’t have been you! (I went down on my knees
    and all efforts to pull me up proved abortive) Please, just
    find a place in your heart to forgive me. I should have
    known it wasn’t you, I should have known.
    Aramide: (Now she couldn’t control her tears) It’s alright! It
    wasn’t your fault. Please stop crying.
    The whole ‘revelation’ scene ended, and I went back to my
    hostel disappointed. It was the mistaken identity that caused
    the whole problem. That was why I slept with Sandra, that
    was why I stopped going to church. “But they called her Mide
    at the party”. I thought to myself. It was then it occurred to
    me that the ‘Mide’ was a short form of ‘Ademide’.
    That was the new custom of Yoruba people. They stopped
    naming twins Taye and Kehinde, but names sounding
    similar. E.g Ayomide & Ayomikun, Mosunmola & Sunmisola,
    Damilola & Demilade etc. And that was the case with
    Aramide & Ademide.
    The deed has been done, but Sandra did not want to let go.
    She kept stalking me always. She was literarily suffocating
    me. “What can I do?” I said to myself.

    Episode 26

    Sandra’s problem was becoming rather unbearable for me.
    She was always stalking me, and she was really irresistible.
    What made me put myself into the whole mess was the
    misconception I had about Aramide which turned out to be
    nothing but a mirage. But then, the whole issue has been
    resolved, I didn’t seem to be able to come out of the
    pleasure that was having a grievous effect on my soul.
    The friendship between Aramide and I suffered a downturn.
    Aramide started avoiding me. I could not even look her in
    the eyes after calling her all those dirty names. Even if it was
    her, I shouldn’t have acted that way, but I was really
    disappointed, and I really blew a fuse, I really overreacted.
    My little affair with Sandra had really affected my
    academics. I did not seem to grab things easily anymore.
    Because each time I opened my books to read, all I could
    see was Sandra. I discovered that I needed help, then I
    decided to tell Moji the whole truth about my affair with
    Sandra. I would have told my roommates but what else can I
    expect from such people than encouragement to continue.
    On a Thursday evening, Moji and I had a stroll to a quiet
    place, I told her I wanted to tell her something important.
    When we got to a spot, we sat and I started talking. . .
    Me: Moji, there is something I want to tell you.
    Moji: I know, that’s why we are here
    Me: Moji, I want to say this with all sincerity from my heart,
    because it’s a feeling I’ve been having due to things
    happening in my life. If I tell you this, hope it won’t change
    the way you see me?
    Moji: Tell me anything, I’m all ears
    Me: And if it turns out that you’re hurt with what I’m about to
    tell you, please remain my friend. Because you’ve done a lot
    in my life, I appreciate it, and I don’t want anything to come
    between us.
    Moji: (loosing her patience) What is it you want to say, just
    tell me, I’m listening to you.
    Me: I am in . . . ( A phone call interrupted what I wanted to
    say, it was an unknown number) Please let me pick this call.
    Moji: Alright, No problem
    Me: (I picked the call) Hello, good evening who am I
    speaking with please?
    Voice: Good evening, are you Mrs Omishakin’s son?
    Me: Yes I am. How may I help you?
    Voice: Your mother was rushed to this hospital now. She
    collapsed in her shop, (I was already losing control) and was
    rushed to our hospital. She is here as I speak. Your number
    was the only relative’s number we found on her phone,
    because she saved it with “my son”. We want to have a word
    with you, please come to St Peter’s hospital as soon as
    possible.
    Me: No!!! What happened to my mum? Hello! Hello!! Hello!!!
    (The call went off, I tried calling the number, and it wasn’t
    reachable. Moji knew what was going on)
    Moji: What happened to mummy?
    Me: (Panicking) I don’t know too, the guy said she slumped
    in her shop and collapsed. I’m going to Ibadan tonight (That
    was around 10pm)
    Moji: Please Dapo, we can’t get a bus tonight, let’s go
    tomorrow
    Me: I need to see my mum (shouting). Wait did you say we?
    Moji: Yes I’m going with you. We have just one class
    tomorrow. We will surely stab the lecture. We will go
    through all this together okay? We’ll pull through. I’m here
    for you. Just calm down and let’s leave by 5am tomorrow
    morning.
    After so much pleas by Moji, I finally agreed, I was so
    disorganised
    We went to the hostel to sleep but I couldn’t sleep all night. I
    kept looking at my watch as it was really slow. “I hope
    nothing bad has happened to my mum? Lord please protect
    my mum.” I was thinking all through the night. That was
    indeed the longest night of my life. When it was 5, Moji was
    already at Anglomoz car park. Moji paid for the whole
    journey. I started thinking back and forth “So God wants to
    use my mum’s life to punish me for sleeping with Sandra?” I
    thought to myself. The journey was so long. We left ife
    around 6am. We got to Apata around 8am.
    We went straight to St Peter’s. When we got there, we
    entered straight into the doctors office. The nurses were
    trying to restrain us but the doctor told them to leave us. . .
    ” I’m Mrs Omisakin’s son, please where is my mother what
    happened to her?” I said with so much fear. “You must be
    Dapo, your mum kept mentioning your name”. The doctor
    said. This time around I had totally lost control. I shouted so
    loud in tears. “Doctor where is My mother?!” The doctor
    looked at me with pity, and said. “Mr Dapo, I’m very sorry. . .

    Episode 27

    “Mr Dapo, I’m very sorry, your mum is in a very critical
    condition. She has shortage of blood, and that was what
    caused the collapse. She is unconscious as we speak. Her
    condition has gotten really worse.” The doctor explained.
    “What is the way forward now, doctor?!” I asked the doctor. I
    was covered in sweats, Moji stood behind me as I talked to
    the doctor. I even thought the doctor would tell her to
    excuse us, but he didn’t say that. “She needs blood
    transfusion urgently, and she’s O-positive. Right now, we
    don’t have any blood that is O-positive in our blood banks.
    So right now, the only solution is a donor, and we have
    limited time. But it’s good you are here. We really hope you
    are O-positive.”
    My eyes were clouded with tears. I had a blood test when I
    wanted to resume school. I had been tested to be AB. I am a
    student of microbiology, I know the implication of what the
    doctor said. There are four blood groups: A, B, AB and O.
    ‘AB’ is referred to as ‘universal recipient’, because it can take
    blood from any of the other groups. ‘O’ is the ‘universal
    donor’ because it can donate blood to any of the other
    groups, but the problem is that it can only get blood from
    ‘O’. Blood from any other group entering into the system will
    only result in clumping of antibodies, agglutination, then
    death won’t be evitable.
    I was so sad, as I cried bitterly. “Where exactly am I going to
    get someone that has the ‘O’ group, my mum has just a
    short while left.” I thought to myself. I answered the doctor’s
    question, now I couldn’t control my tears. “Doctor, I’m not O,
    I’m AB.” I cried bitterly. Suddenly. I heard a voice behind me.
    “Dapo don’t worry, they can get the blood from me, I’m O-
    positive”. The voice sounded like Moji’s but I didn’t believe it.
    I turned back and it was really her. I didn’t believe it, I had
    mixed feelings. I’m happy, at the same time Sad. Happy that
    we finally got a donor. Sad about my mothers case.
    “Alright madam, we don’t have much time left. Please come
    with me for confirmatory test.” The doctor said to Moji. “I’ll
    be right back dapo. Just calm down okay, everything will be
    fine.” Moji said, and she followed the doctor for the test. I
    didn’t alter a word, because I was dumbfounded. I didn’t
    know what to say exactly. “How can someone be so nice?
    What have I done to deserve all the kind gestures? How on
    earth am I going to repay Moji for everything she has done
    for me?” I started thinking about her but I stopped, and
    started praying for my mum’s wellbeing.
    Moji came back after 20 minutes holding an Apple and a can
    of Malt. She sat close to me and kept comforting me, telling
    me to calm down. The doctor came out too. “Congratulations
    Mr Dapo. The blood is perfect, and we have the blood
    already. As a matter of fact, the blood transfusion is going
    on already.” I was so happy, I hugged Moji immediately. I
    was so happy that I held her so tight. She was very happy
    too. The doctor was smiling. “If I may ask, who is she?” The
    doctor asked. “My blood sister, I answered.” Moji laughed. ”
    Why are you laughing now, the same blood flowing through
    your veins is the one flowing through my mum’s right now.” I
    said, The doctor laughed as well as Moji. “Doctor don’t mind
    him, I’m his friend, we are in the same department in
    school.” Moji answered. “Friend? Are you sure you guys are
    not dating?” The doctor asked Moji, but I took over to
    answer the question. “Sir we are very close, in fact, we are
    like brothers and sisters. That’s what people think when they
    see us”. As I was talking, Moji kept nodding her head in
    agreement. “You guys must be really close for you to come
    with him from school, talk less of donating blood to his
    mum”. The doctor said.
    Moji changed the topic. “Doctor. Please can we see mummy
    now?” Moji asked. “No please, she is yet to gain
    consciousness, but in the next two hours, we believe
    everything will be fine. But in this hospital, we save dying
    people first before demanding money. Because we know
    that life is like an egg. And is priceless. So please, you guys
    should go and bring money to settle the bills, for the drugs
    and injections administered to her”. I was really baffled as I
    didn’t even know where to get that from. Moji broke the
    silence. “How much is the bill?” Moji asked. “It’s 30,000 Naira
    ma” The doctor replied. I was so sad as I didn’t have that
    money. Neither did my mum. Everyone knows that in St
    Peters hospital, the prices are not negotiable, and if you fail
    to pay, asides the fact that the patient won’t be discharged
    on time, you will have to pay extra money. Moji stood up,
    and went out of the office. I didn’t know where she was
    heading, so I followed her to see where she was going. . .

    Episode 28

    I followed her to see where she was going. She went straight
    to the payment section. She asked the woman a question,
    the woman nodded her head to say ‘yes’, then Moji brought
    out her ATM, while the woman brought out POS. The woman
    then gave her a receipt. It was then I understood the whole
    thing. Moji just paid my mother’s hospital bills. Moji
    discovered that I had been watching. So she came straight to
    me and stretched the receipt to me. “Please, show the
    doctor”. She said. I took the receipt, on it stuffs like “Mrs
    Omisakin, 30,000 Naira only etc.” were written. I was so
    surprised, I didn’t know what I could say. I’m so indebted to
    Moji. But the question is: How come Moji has such amount
    in her account? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t. Her parents are
    rich.
    We waited at reception, and about two hours later, a nurse
    came that my mum wanted to see me. I was so excited, Moji
    and i rushed into the ward that she was. I saw her lying on
    the bed. Her eyes were opened. “Maa mi, you really scared
    me. I am so glad you regained consciousness.” I said to her.
    She replied me, and her voice was somehow faint. ” Ma binu
    oko mi, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just in my shop,
    trying to park. That’s all I could remember.” She said. She
    noticed Moji who had been silent all the while, looking at d
    mother-son movie. “Who is this? She asked. “Mummy, this is
    Moji, my course mate in school. Thank God she came with
    me. You had blood transfusion, it was her that donated
    blood, otherwise the worst might have happened. And
    number 2, she paid all your bills. That’s about 30,000.” I
    explained to my mum. “Ah, thank you my daughter, I’m so
    greatful. Thanks for saving my life. E se eku inawo o.” She
    thanked Moji. “Don’t thank me ma, I just did what I had to
    do ma. Thank God you’re fine now ma”. Moji said. “I’m very
    fine now, in fact I’m going home now.” My mother said. “No
    o, you are not going anywhere, doctor said you will have
    bed rest for two days.” I said to her.
    My mother had a long conversation with Moji, and it was
    really funny. She asked questions about her parents and the
    job they are doing. I knew she was saying all that because
    she was surprised how an undergraduate can settle 30,000
    Naira bill.
    Her dad was the chief auditor in a big company that had
    their headquarters in Ibadan. Moji is the only child of both
    parents. They always give her whatever she asks for. Her
    monthly allowance was almost 40,000 Naira. She was able to
    pay the bill, because she saves money a lot and she isn’t
    extravagant or showy. Moji is from a very rich family, but
    you can’t know unless you are really close to her. She just
    told my mum her dads job. Since my mum didn’t ask for
    other details, she didn’t go into facts about her allowance.
    I advised Moji to go back to ife the following day. That day
    was Friday, and the following day would be Saturday. Moji
    told me that since its a Saturday (the next day) that she
    would just go on Sunday, then continue lectures on Monday.
    We agreed, since her view was only logical.
    Moji and I slept, at the hospital that night. I would have
    taken her home, but I’m so shy of our house which wasn’t
    really attractive. She really went through a lot, because the
    mosquito’s there were so strong.
    It was Saturday morning. It was Mayowa’s call that woke me.
    I had totally forgotten that I didn’t say bye bye to them
    before traveling to Ibadan. I was really disorganised that day
    and I left so early. No one could have seen me when I left. I
    felt so bad about what I did to my roommates. I picked the
    call. . .
    Mayowa: Guy, where have you been since the day before
    yesterday? I’ve been trying your number and it wasn’t
    reachable. You got us so worried.
    Me: Mayowa I’m really sorry, my mum was seriously ill. Moji
    and I had to rush to Ibadan as early as 5am yesterday.
    Mayowa: (He was surprised when he heard that Moji went to
    Ibadan with me.) Moji? Anyway how is your mum’s health
    now? Me: She has gotten better. Thank you. Please Mayowa,
    I need to go now. I’ll call you later in the day.
    Mayowa: Alright guy. Take care of yourself, your mum and
    Moji o (laughing)
    Dapo: Alright bye.
    The Saturday morning, Moji had been bitten by mosquito’s,
    so I decided to take her to my house at night. So that she
    can sleep comfortably to an extent. We went to my mum’s
    ward. We played with her till around 4pm. Moji and I went
    to buy her food. (Don’t bother to ask who paid). And she ate
    then around 8pm, I told Moji we were going to sleep at
    home then she agreed. We said bye to my mum, and we
    went straight to my house.

    Episode 29

    When we got home, we were so lucky that there was light.
    Our DVD needed to be beaten several times for it to work.
    Or else there is no DVD for you. I did that repeatedly and the
    DVD did not seem to be responding. Moji advised that we
    should just leave the DVD. That was some minutes past
    9pm. I was quite disappointed. Because as students, we
    don’t sleep until after midnight. “So how are we going to get
    busy? Or are you feeling sleepy?” I asked Moji. “I didn’t take
    sleeping pills, I’m not feeling sleepy at all. You know in
    school, we don’t get to sleep until past 12, so the body is
    programmed already.” Moji answered. “Let me try the DVD
    again”. I said, going straight to the DVD, This time, it worked
    perfectly. I was so happy. I played Moji’s favourite movie –
    ‘King Kong’. That was the only film I had anyway, I bought it
    when I was in SS3 because I really liked the movie then, but
    not anymore. Since that’s Moji’s favourite movie, I
    automatically like it too. “Oh my God!!! Is that king Kong? I
    love this movie” Moji said. I was really happy to see Moji
    happy.
    Moji was really enjoying the movie, but unfortunately, they
    took the light. I switched on my phone torch, and put it on
    the table so we could see. It was really disappointing that
    they took the light, since we didn’t have a generating plant.
    So I thought that was a good time to tell Moji thank you for
    all she has done. . .
    Me: Moji, I don’t know what I would have done without you.
    How can I thank you enough. You donated blood to my
    mother, paid her hospital bills, stabbed lectures for my
    sake. Moji, seriously, you are God sent. Thank you so much.
    Moji: Dapo, you don’t have to thank me. (Looking straight
    into my eyes) I hold you in high esteem, and you are so
    important to me. In fact, you are just like my twin brother. I
    will do for your mum, whatever I can do for my mum.
    Because your mother is my mother.
    Me: (I was really touched by everything she said, she’s really
    God sent) I understand you Kehinde.
    Moji: Did you Just call me Kehinde?
    Me: Yes I did.
    Moji: Why in God’s name did you call me that.
    Me: Because since I’m like the twin brother you never had, I
    will be Taiwo, and you will be Kehinde.
    Moji: (Laughing) You can be whatever you want to be. In
    fact, if you want to be Idowu, I’m cool with it. . .
    We just kept talking and we really had fun talking about
    everything that should be talked about (except Sandra). We
    talked till around past 12, then I offered her our room, while
    I slept in the sitting room.
    I couldn’t sleep overnight, because I just kept thinking of
    how bad I was as a person. Keeping a secret from such a
    wonderful friend. “If I had told her about Sandra, probably
    she wouldn’t have paid my mum’s hospital bills”. I thought
    to myself. But after thinking back and forth. I discovered that
    I can’t hide the truth forever. Sandra had been so disturbing,
    and it was affecting everything about me. The only person
    that could help me was Moji. The only solution was to open
    up to her, because if she finds out on her own, it would be
    so disappointing. But the problem wasn’t what I wanted to
    say, it was how I was going to say it. I started rehearsing
    different ways of saying it. “Moji, I am sleeping with a girl
    called sandra, and she is stalking me every time. I really
    don’t know how to stop sleeping with her, can you help me?
    NO!!!” I tried another. “Moji, you’ve done a lot for me, and I
    don’t want you to hear this from anyone else. I’m sleeping
    with a girl called Sandra. I didn’t really want to do it, but I
    just had to. I’m really sorry if you are disappointed. NO!!!”
    None of the ways I tried sounded good. It all sounded bad to
    me. Moji was traveling back to Ife that Sunday morning. So I
    had to tell her that morning.
    When Moji woke up, she had her bath in our pan-made
    bathroom at the back yard. I’m sure she had never taken her
    bath in such a local bathroom before. That is just how
    humble she was. She got dressed and she told me she
    wanted to see my mum before going. She we went to the
    hospital to see my mum. My mum thanked her for
    everything she had done, and told her to be careful on her
    way back to Ife. I walked her to the bus stop and my
    heartbeat was getting faster than normal. I was really scared
    of what her reaction will be if I should tell her.
    “You wanted to tell me something before we received that
    emergency call, can you please tell me now?” Moji said to
    me. I was so scared of telling her . . .

    Episode 30

    “You wanted to tell me something before we received that
    emergency call, can you please tell me now?” Moji said to
    me. I was so scared of telling her, so I decided to postpone
    the whole thing. “Don’t worry, when I get back to Ife, we will
    discuss it fully”. I answered her. “Alright no problem”. She
    said. Moji later got a bus, and I went back to the hospital to
    meet my mum. My mum got discharged later in the evening,
    and we went home.
    When we got home, my mum kept looking at me, but she
    wasn’t saying anything. I knew there was something she
    wanted to say, so I started the conversation. . .
    Me: Mummy, I noticed that since you came back from the
    hospital, you have been looking at me in a very funny way
    that I cannot even explain. If there is anything, you can talk
    to me, everything will be resolved.
    My mum: Thank you oko mi, thanks for the observation. Its
    about that girl.
    Me: What girl?
    My mum: How many girls do I know you with? The one that
    paid the bills of course!
    Me: Oh! You mean Moji?
    My mum: Yes, my son.
    Me: What’s wrong with her mummy, did she do anything
    bad?
    My mum: No my son. It’s about you. As an elder, I’ve been in
    this game long before you were born. The both of you are in
    in love with each other.
    Me: (laughing) Mummy, Moji is just my friend. She is just my
    best friend. In fact she brings me food.
    My mum: That’s the point! How will a girl that is not your
    wife cook for you, if no strings are attached. How will she
    follow you to see your sick mum if she doesn’t have feelings
    for you? How did she know that I was sick, if not because
    you do tell her almost everything? How will you allow her to
    follow you to Ibadan if not because you are strongly
    attracted to her?
    Me: But Mummy. . .
    My mum: (Interrupted) Shut up and listen to me! I’m not
    arguing with you whether or not you are attracted to her or
    she is attracted to you. What I’m saying is that you have to
    be careful not to do something you’ll regret. Before you go
    into anything in life, be sure you are ready for it, lest you
    regret your actions.
    Me: Alright mum, I’ve heard you, and I won’t disappoint you.
    I thought about Sandra for a while, and I was really sad. If
    my mum should know about my affair with Sandra, she
    won’t believe her son could do such a thing.
    My mum persuaded me to go back to school the following
    day, but I refused, because I didn’t want to leave her all
    alone. But after so much sermon, promising me that she’s
    well already, I agreed to go back to ife. Her words kept
    ringing in my hears “Don’t do anything that you will regret.”
    “I really hope I don’t regret everything I’ve done with
    Sandra.” I thought to myself. As I was going back to school, I
    decided to put the whole affair with Sandra behind me by
    opening up to Moji.
    The following day, I took the only back pack I brought, said
    ‘bye’ to my mum, and went back to school. It was an easy
    journey. It seemed faster than all others. When I got to my
    room, my roommates were very happy to see me. . .
    Mayowa: How’s mummy’s health now? Hope she’s alright?
    Me: Yes she is. In fact, she said I should greet you guys.
    Emeka: Omo no be small tin o. Wen I no see you for like two
    days, I think say you don die ni. I don dey reason am say
    how Sandra wan do naw, d girl go miss you if you die o.
    Me: God forbid, I no go die in Jesus name.
    Emeka: Wait o, Mayowa talk say that girl wey den dey call
    Moji follow you go house go see your mama, guy you don
    marry be dat o. Na mother-in-law to daughter in law
    introduction you do so.
    Mayowa: No mind the guy, soon now you go dey talk say
    you no like the girl. Girl wey be say you don carry go show
    your mama.
    Me: Guys, you know the funniest thing? Thank God Moji
    followed me. She was the one that donated blood to my
    mum. The case would have gotten worse
    Emeka: Na lie! She give your mama blood? This girl don win
    your mama already. In fact, na she you go marry. You no get
    choice.
    I was just laughing as Mayowa and Emeka were pulling my
    legs. Olu was not in the room that day, it would have been
    much worse. I had really missed those guys, and I kept
    teasing Emeka especially to talk more.
    Later in the evening, I called Moji that I was in school
    already. She was really surprised as she thought I would stay
    with my mum quite longer. I made up my mind to tell her
    the whole truth that night, I decided to conquer my fears. I
    told her to come and meet me at Anglomoz. That was
    around 9pm. She came and we started talking. . .
    Moji: I never knew you would come today, I thought you
    would stay with mummy quite longer.
    Me: She told me she didn’t want me to miss lectures.
    Moji: Why didn’t you tell her that I was writing all the notes,
    and making photocopies for you.
    Me: (If I had told my mum that, it would only have
    confirmed what she said) It skipped my mind.
    Moji: Anyway, if she is really okay now, then no problem.
    Me: Yes. Eeeeer Moji, there is something I want to tell you.
    Moji: There he goes again, I really hope you say it this time.
    Because I can’t wait to hear it.
    Me: I hope you won’t. . .
    Moji: (Interrupts) Stop that, I won’t kill you, I won’t do
    anything, just say it Dapo, please. I’m all ears. Say it!
    Me: Moji, the thing is. . .

    Episode 31

    Me: Moji, the thing is that; I have a very big problem. I need
    to tell you because a problem shared is half solved. And I
    don’t want. . . (Sandra came from no where, she came as if
    she was going to fight one of us)
    Sandra: Hold it there! Now I know why you haven’t been
    picking my calls. It’s all because of this thing (pointing at
    Moji) that is not even half as beautiful as I am. Dapo, what
    do you want that I don’t give you? Why have you decided to
    cheat on me. After everything I’ve done for you. (Sandra was
    really creating a scene at Anglomoz, and people were staring
    already. Moji took charge before I could utter a word.)
    Moji: (smiling) Just calm down please. I’m not dating your
    boyfriend, he is just my friend. In fact he has told me a lot
    about you. I’ve been telling him to introduce me to you but
    he wouldn’t. (Moji lied) Anyway, I’m Moji.
    Me: (I was really dumbfounded as what Moji said really
    surprised me, but I just played along) Eeeerm, Sandra, it’s
    nothing serious, you don’t have to make a scene, she’s just a
    friend.
    Sandra: (Feeling reluctant) I’m sorry for everything I said, I
    was just protecting my Man.
    Moji: Yes, I would have done the same if I were in your
    shoes. In fact, we are done with our conversation. Let me go
    to my room and give you two time to discuss. I’m sure you
    have really missed him.
    Sandra: Thanks Moji, I’m Sandra, sorry I didn’t tell you my
    name at first.
    Moji: No problem. I understand everything. You guys should
    have fun okay?
    Dapo: (Moji was going to her room. I could have bluntly
    denied being Sandra’s man right there. But Sandra is a crazy
    fellow. She will pull down the whole Anglomoz.) Moji, I will
    call you!
    Moji: Alright! Bye. (She left)
    I felt uneasy when Moji left, Sandra was really happy to hear
    Moji say that I had told her (Moji) a lot about her. So she
    started conversing with me. . .
    Sandra: I don’t really like it when you keep female friends,
    you know anything can happen from there. And I won’t want
    to share you with anyone. We make each other happy don’t
    we?
    Me: (I was so angry, and I could not control my temper any
    longer) Sandra, shut your mouth and listen to me! I had s-x
    with you. Yes!! I’m not denying that fact. But that doesn’t
    mean we are dating. I’m not into any kind of commitment
    with you. I don’t have feelings for you. You are very
    beautiful, no doubt about that. But we are not compatible.
    In short, you are not my type, and I really. . .
    Sandra: Shut up dude! What trash are you vomiting from
    your mouth. When you were having s-x with me and asking
    for more, did you say we are not compatible? I am always
    taking you to the bar, paying for all your drinks, did you say
    we are not compatible? I bought you a phone worth 65,000
    Naira. I’m sure nobody in your generation have used a
    phone that expensive. Did you say we are not compatible?
    You know what you are? A gold digger! And if you think I’m
    gonna let go of you that easily, then you have just deceived
    your self. I’m not going to let go of you! Whether you like it
    or not.
    Me: You know what you are? A spoilt brat! How dare you talk
    of my generation! What exactly do you know about me?
    What exactly do you know about my family (I got really
    angry). That you are rich doesn’t mean you get whatever you
    want. If I don’t want you in my life, you have to leave. You
    really have to leave.
    Sandra: You know nothing about me also, because if you do,
    you should know I’m not someone you can toy with and get
    away with it. You want me to leave you? Fine!!!. You need to
    pay me back every Kobo I spent on you. Plus the money for
    the phone I bought for you. That’s about 100,000 Naira. And
    I’m sure you can’t pay that so. . .
    Me: (Very Angry now) Give me till next week I will pay you
    back, every dime. Though I didn’t force you to spend it,
    neither did I ask. But I will pay you if that will make you
    leave my life (I stormed out of her presence, heading
    straight to my hostel)
    Sandra: (Calling my name) Dapo! Dapo! Dapo!
    I didn’t answer her, as she called my name so loud with
    anger. That was some minutes to 10pm. I went straight to
    my room really angry. I couldn’t sleep. Because I was just
    thinking about Moji.

    Episode 32

    I couldn’t sleep, because I was just thinking about Moji. I
    went for Physics class the following morning, I tried to call
    Moji, so that we could go to class and sit together as usual
    but her number wasn’t going through. I had to go to the
    class alone. As I was going to class, its like I forgot
    something. But in the real sense, I didn’t forget anything. It
    was Moji that was missing. I wasn’t my self in the class, I
    could not even grab anything that was said in the class. I just
    kept thinking about Moji. “She must be really hurt. I was just
    trying to tell her the whole truth when Sandra showed up
    and ruined the whole thing. How on earth will Moji forgive
    me for keeping this from her? Is this why Moji didn’t come to
    class? Should I go to her room? I’m not even sure she wants
    to see me now.” I kept thinking to myself. I couldn’t come up
    with any solution. Before knew it. I had developed a fever. I
    was so ill. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I had to
    leave the class. I headed straight to the hostel. When I got to
    the hostel, the whole condition got really worse. I was taken
    to the health center by Matthew, where I took some drugs
    and went back to the hostel. Mayowa, Olu and Emeka were
    not in the room. It was only Matthew that was in the room.
    He prayed for me, and I laid on my bed.
    Even on my sick bed, all I could think about was Moji. “I
    think I love Moji” I was thinking, and before I knew it I
    started repeating it. “I love Moji! I love Moji! I love Moji!”
    That was around 11am. I thought about Moji till around
    3pm. Everything she did for me, how I felt so incomplete
    when she didn’t go to class with me. How her absence made
    me feel incomplete. In fact, I didn’t see her that day, maybe
    that’s why I became sick. I was so motivated. It was then it
    occurred to me that I have always loved Moji. What I felt for
    Aramide was just brotherly love. Moji is my true love. I’ve
    always loved her all the while but I was too blind to
    discover. But then, her absence made me discover that Moji
    is really special to me. I was so ready to tell her how I feel
    for her. Is it really possible to have deep feelings for
    someone and not know until something happens? Well I
    don’t know. But I guess that was what happened to me as far
    as Moji is concerned.
    I was literarily burning with passion. I was so lost in thought
    that all my roommates were around already, but I didn’t
    know. Since I laid on my bed, and closed my eyes they
    thought I had slept so they treated me that way. I decided to
    call Aramide immediately and tell her what I feel for her. I
    tried her but her number was switched off. Mayowa saw that
    I was awake. “Dapo, what’s wrong with you? Matthew said
    you are not feeling too well.” Mayowa asked. “I really don’t
    know too”. Emeka cuts in “Guy, wetin you go chop naw,
    please you gax eat something”. Emeka said. “I will be fine,
    this isn’t a physical problem. Its kind of emotional ” I told
    them everything that happened the previous night between
    Sandra, Moji and I. They were so surprised that Moji lied to
    avoid trouble.
    This time around, I confessed to them that I really do love
    Moji, and I’ve been trying her number but switched off. . .
    Mayowa: You don’t have to tell me that, I know it already.
    You both have feelings for each other. You guys should just
    stop forming and get it on.
    Emeka: Eeyah, No be Aramide again, na Moji now? Your
    mata don tire me self. Shey you wan turn father of all
    nations ni?
    Olu: Free the guy now, the guy no dey alright.
    In short, Sandra don spoil your show now.
    Me: I need to see her, I need to talk to her. She doesn’t even
    know what I feel for her.
    Emeka: No dey talk love for where we dey. Love no dey. All
    of us just dey act up ni.
    Mayowa: Seriously, I think you and Moji are just so
    compatible. You guys really compliment each other. Please
    if you really love her, just tell her. If she doesn’t feel the
    same way leave her. She don friend zone you be dat.
    Me: (As I was discussing with them, I started feeling much
    better.) If Moji friend zone me, I can kill myself. I’m madly in
    love with her. You can’t afford to be ‘just friends’ with
    someone you are madly in love with. I’ve been calling her
    but her number has been switched off. I know she is angry
    with me.
    As we were talking. My phone received a new message.
    Behold, it was Moji. I read it, and the contents were. . .
    What was the message?

    Episode 33

    As we were talking. My phone received a new message.
    Behold, it was Moji. I read it, and the contents were. . . “Is
    there any quiet place we can sit and talk, where your pretty
    girlfriend won’t create a scene?” Text me back if there is”.
    Seriously, I was so furious, I knew Moji was being sarcastic
    when she made the statement ‘Your pretty girl friend’. “She
    must be really jealous. Maybe she feels the same way I feel
    for her. Or why will her phone be switched off? Why would
    she not go to class the next Day after the whole incident?
    Moji must have deep feelings for me. She loves me. Even
    more than I love her. Why will she stab lectures for my sake?
    Why will she follow me to see my sick mum? Why did she
    give her blood? Why did she pay her hospital bills? Why has
    she been bringing me food? Why is it that I don’t get to see
    any guy with her? Why has she been there for me all the
    while. She really loves me. She adores me.” I was thinking
    about her. I was so convinced that she really loves me.
    Mayowa took my phone, and read the message. “Dapo, this
    is jealousy, this girl loves you already. Just go to her and
    pour out your mind. Na ogba we dey o. If dis girl do mistake
    commot your hand, you no go fit get her again o” Mayowa
    said to me. This time, it’s like some spiritual injections were
    administered to my system. I had gotten really better
    already. I really did not know what to send to her. Emeka
    was observing the whole situation. “Guy, make I tell you one
    short story wey go make you get sense.” Emeka Said. “Je ko
    mo (let him know)” Olu answered, pushing him to tell me
    the story. “Emeka, you, tell me story?” I said, laughing
    hysterically. . . .
    Emeka: Guy, no reason am o. I get experience wella for this
    whole tin o. It get one adage wey den dey talk say. “It get
    wetin elderly man eye see wey make hin eye enter inside.
    Mayowa: Emeka, wen you turn elderly man naw?
    Olu: (Laughing) I tire for the guy o.
    Me: (sarcastically) Make una leave boss make hin follow us
    talk o. Emeka, abeg no mind them I’m all ears.
    Emeka: (Laughing) Olu and Mayowa, it be like say una dey
    mad abi? Instead may una calm down listen to story wey go
    change una life. Una dey form boss. Una father well well
    (Opening his fingers wide and pointing them at Mayowa and
    Olu)
    Me: Emeka leave them joor, tell me d story wey u wan tell
    me.
    I listened attentively as Emeka narrated his story.
    Emeka: It get one girl for my secondary school, her name na
    Amaka. This girl, I like her die. In fact dat time, me self think
    say na love. This girl tell me say she love me. That time, den
    dey give me 100 Naira as money for food. I go give her 80
    Naira, take the remaining 20 drink water. Na when I reach
    house I go chop. Na when we reach SS1 I see say na one SS3
    boy wey resemble monkey she dey date. Because dat one
    papa dey work for oil company. Na so I go tell her say say
    she dey mad, say God go punish her. She con tell me say I
    be fool. Say my name na ‘helper’. She talk say I just dey help
    her ministry as other guys dey do. Na since that time I know
    say love no dey.
    Me: (I couldn’t help but laugh at his story. Emeka has a very
    funny way of talking, that even when he is serious, people
    still find him funny. Mayowa and Olu were rolling on the
    floor as they were laughing) Eeyah, dat girl dey craze o.
    Olu: (couldn’t control his laughter) Eeyah, you for marry that
    girl o. You be Emeka, she be Amaka. Una go born Umuka,
    Omoka, Amoka, Emaka. . .
    Mayowa: Emeka Abeg, na which station you watch that film.
    Everyone in the room made jest of Emeka that day. He
    would have wished he never told us the story. He didn’t even
    feel embarrassed, he was just laughing alongside everybody
    in the room.
    I really did not know where to see Moji, I later decided to
    see her in the departmental block. I texted her immediately.
    She didn’t reply my message, then I just hoped she had seen
    the message. Around 8pm. I went to the departmental block,
    and didn’t see Moji. I called her Number and it was switched
    off. . .

    Episode 34

    “What exactly was Moji doing? Why on earth will she ignore
    my invite? The Moji I know will never do such a thing to me.”
    I felt so dejected I sat at a spot in the department. As I was
    thinking about the whole thing, I just heard a voice. “Sorry
    I’m late”. It was Moji. I was really happy to see her. I had
    missed her so much. In fact, when I saw her, she appeared
    prettier than ever. “What was wrong with me all the while?
    How come I’ve not been able to see such a beautiful damsel
    for so long? What exactly was covering my eyes?” I thought
    to myself.
    “Sorry I couldn’t go to class with you today. I felt a bit weak
    this morning. It was when I got better that I texted you
    because I really want to see you”. Moji said. When I heard
    her say that she really wanted to see me, I thought to
    myself. “Maybe I’m right after all, maybe she is as attracted
    to me as I am to her”. We started the whole conversation
    fully. . .
    Me: Moji, about Sandra, I think. . .
    Moji: (cuts in) No, don’t do that. You don’t need it. That’s the
    more reason why we need to talk. We are very close, in fact,
    we are like siblings. We talk about everything, but we hardly
    talk about our love life. . .
    Me: Moji, just listen to me, I can’t afford not to tell you this
    now. Sandra isn’t my girl friend. The affair started when I
    had issues with church and God. That was when I went to the
    bar, got drunk, and before I knew it, I was naked on the bed
    with her.
    Moji: (Covering her mouth with both hands) You slept with
    her?
    Me: Not once, not twice, not thrice. I did it several times. She
    bought that Samsung phone for me. I’m so tired of the
    whole affair. I’ve been trying to tell you but I didn’t have the
    courage to. The day I finally summoned courage to tell you,
    that was when my mum got sick, and we had to go home. I
    tried to tell you the other day too, but Sandra came and
    ruined the whole thing. Moji, please get it right, I have
    nothing to do with Sandra. She is in my past, and I’m trying
    to correct everything. Please all I need is your support.
    Moji: (Confused) You had issues with church and God? So
    that’s the next thing to do? Sleep with that useless, saucy,
    good-for-nothing lady? Dapo, if you love that girl it’s cool.
    You don’t have to deny her. She’s your girlfriend.
    Me: Moji, believe me. I never liked that girl once. It was just
    a mistake. It really wasn’t my will. Moji you’ve always
    believed in me. Please believe me this time. Sandra is
    nothing but a s--t. I’m sure she has so many guys like that in
    her life. She is just a selfish girl that thinks she can get
    whatever she wants.
    Moji: Hmmmm, I believe you. So what is the way forward?
    Me: Thank you. The mistake I made is that I could have
    bluntly refused her yesterday. But she is crazy, she can even
    hit you. I just had to play along and. . .
    Moji: Please spare me all that story. What is the way
    forward.
    Me: I told her I’m done with her yesterday, she told me that I
    should pay her back every dime she has spent on me. Else
    I’m going no where. Including the money for the phone.
    Moji: Wow! That’s serious. You are in serious mess. So, like
    how much are we talking about?
    Me: The phone is 65,000 Naira, but she said plus everything
    she has done for me, she will take a whole of hundred
    thousand Naira.
    Moji: Hundred thousand Naira? Does she want to buy a
    land? Wait Dapo, did you ask for all those things before she
    bought it for you?
    Me: No, in fact that’s what I told her. She did everything on
    her own will. That’s a good point. Maybe I shouldn’t give her
    a dime. After all, I didn’t force her to do any of those.
    Moji: Dapo, we can’t do that. That girl is capable of doing
    anything. Let’s give her whatever she asks for.
    Me: Moji, stop saying ‘we’ I put myself in this, I’m going to
    come out of it. I can’t afford to disturb you this time. It’s my
    mess, let me just clean it.
    Moji: How would you say such a thing, didn’t I promise to be
    always there for you? You share my brother’s (Younger
    cousin’s) name. You are just like my twin brother. We will
    pull through all these together. Just relax.
    Me: Thank you so much Moji, how will I thank you enough? I
    really do appreciate you
    Moji: But there’s a problem.
    Me: A problem? What’s that?
    Moji: I don’t have up to hundred thousand in my account
    right now. I don’t have more than 60.
    Me: Don’t worry Moji, I will find the rest.
    Moji: You and I know that you don’t have that money, and
    you don’t have a source through which you can get that
    money.
    Me: I hate to admit, but I really do not have any means.
    Moji: Don’t worry, I’ll just call my boyfriend, maybe I can get
    some money from him
    Me: Boyfriend?!. . .

    Episode 35

    I was really surprised to hear that Moji had a boyfriend.
    Before I knew it, my whole system was disorganized and my
    lips were shaking. “So I have been wrong after all, Moji has
    got no feelings for me”. I thought to myself. Moji noticed
    that I wasn’t myself but didn’t alter a word. “You m-m-mea-n
    you have a bo-bo-boyfriend?”I asked as I stammered. “Why
    are you stammering? Why are you so surprised? I wasn’t this
    surprised when I found out about Sandra. Why are you
    acting like a man whose wife is cheating on him? Moji
    rushed me with the questions. I really had to compose and
    be a man. “It’s nothing, I’m just surprised that you have a
    boyfriend, and I know nothing about it. I couldn’t have
    believed it.” I said to her acting as if everything is alright.
    “Why should you be surprised that I have a boyfriend? Do I
    look like a girl that a guy cannot be attracted to? Am I not
    pretty enough?” She rushed me with questions again and I
    was getting really nervous. I just had to keep calm. “Don’t get
    me wrong, I’m not saying that. I’m just saying I’m surprised
    you didn’t tell me.” I replied.
    The whole thing had turned sour, “I can’t even tell Moji
    about my feelings anymore. I have lost Moji, I’ve finally lost
    her”. I thought to myself. . .
    Moji: You don’t have to be surprised joor. Aren’t we like
    brothers and sisters?
    Me: (Answered quickly) Yeah sure, but as brothers and
    sisters, you should have told me about your boyfriend
    earlier.
    Moji: The same way you told me about Sandra? (Sarcasm)
    Me: Sandra isn’t my girlfriend. If she is my girlfriend, I would
    have introduced her to you. I’ve not introduced any girl to
    you because I don’t have any other girl in my life. . .
    Moji: Did you say another? You mean any other apart from
    Sandra?
    Me: No, don’t worry never mind. I’m just really nervous
    about the whole Sandra issue, maybe that’s why I’m saying
    rubbish.
    Moji: You don’t have to be nervous, didn’t I tell you I’m here
    for you? Aren’t we like siblings?
    Me: Yeah
    (I started hating the brother and sister thing. Each time she
    said that, I got very angry.)
    Moji: So just put your mind at rest.
    Me: That’s by the way, tell me more about your boyfriend.
    Moji: What do you want to know?
    Me: Everything
    Moji: His name is Harry, I started dating him not quite long,
    its been six months now and it has been really awesome. He
    treats me like egg.
    Me: Is he also in OAU?
    Moji: Have we spent up to six months here? Of course not.
    He is in Canada. He is doing his masters.
    Me: Masters?
    Moji: Yeah sure.
    Me: How old is he?
    Moji: He will be 24 this year.
    Me: Wow! Dats kul. So how did you meet him?
    Moji: (A call came in immediately into Moji’s phone.) That’s
    my boyfriend. (whispers pointing at the phone. . She picked
    the call and started talking) Hello. . .yeah sure. . . . I’m fine o.
    . . . not really. . . (laughing and playing with everything
    around with her hands) hope you haven’t missed me too
    much. . . I trust you, I’ve missed you too. . . Hope those
    white girls are not disturbing you? . . They should not disturb
    you o, I’ll kill them ni o. . . . (I was really angry with myself.
    “How did everything turn like this? The Moji I know never
    makes call when she’s with me. Unless the call is really
    important, she doesn’t even pick it. What happened
    overnight?” I thought to myself”.
    Moji continued the whole conversation, asking foolish
    questions from the guy, and laughing hysterically. For the
    first time, Moji”s laughter made me angry. After talking for
    like ten minutes, Moji finally ended the call. . .
    Moji: Sorry about that, he talks with me for so long.
    Me: (pretending) It’s alright.
    Moji: Let me show you his picture. (She took her phone and
    looked for the picture, she finally found it) here he is.
    Me: (The guy is so handsome, much more handsome than I
    am. He has beards and teddy. The picture background was
    dope. The picture quality was superb. He looked just like a
    model. I was really jealous.) Wow! He’s so cute. I’m happy
    for you
    Moji: (Smiling) I’m glad you are.
    We had some discussions that I can’t even remember,
    because my mind was in Canada already, beating that idiot
    called Moji’s boyfriend. We finished the whole discussion
    and we went back to our hostels. Moji kept talking and
    talking. “She was never a talkative, what came over her”. I
    thought to myself. .

    Episode 36

    I finally got to my hostel, I couldn’t eat or drink, I couldn’t
    even sleep, I was just on my bed. I was really helpless. “So
    Moji doesn’t have feelings for me? So I’m just an idiot, loving
    a girl who is in love with another guy?” I thought to myself.
    Compared to her boyfriend? I’m nowhere near him. The guy
    is so handsome, he’s such a dude. “She can never love me! If
    she can date a guy that handsome, how on earth will she
    love someone like me? I lost her! I lost her!” I kept repeating
    the same thing in my mind. I was just there helpless on the
    bed. All my roommates have slept already. I was there alone
    with my thoughts.
    It was morning, Mayowa and I didn’t have a class until
    12pm. Emeka, Olu and Abdul were not in the room. It was
    just me, Mayowa and Matthew in the room. Well, whenever
    we are talking about love, s-x and relationship, Matthew
    doesn’t involve in the conversation. Maybe that’s a rule to
    him. I told Mayowa everything that happened the previous
    night. He was really surprised to hear that he was wrong
    after all. . .
    Mayowa: Are you saying that Moji has a boyfriend?
    Me: That’s the exact thing I’m saying. She kept repeating that
    we are like siblings. I don’t want to be her sibling. I love her.
    I am sure of it. I can’t afford to be just friends with someone
    I’m madly in love with (panicking)
    Mayowa: Just calm down. If she has a boyfriend already, I
    don’t think there is anything you can do. At least, you can’t
    ask her to break up with her boyfriend. And you don’t want
    her go double-date do you?
    Me: Of course not! I just want a serious relationship with
    her. She knows my every move. Even when I’m not talking,
    she knows what I’m saying. Even my mother doesn’t know
    me the way she knows me.
    Mayowa: Guy stop being so emotional. Just move on with
    your life. You are still too young to love like this. If she is
    already dating, then move on with your life and forget about
    her.
    Me: Hmmmm, I really don’t know what to do.
    Mayowa: I just told you what to do; Forget about her and
    move on.
    Me: Hmmmmm, it’s harder than you think. It’s not that easy.
    Mayowa: I understand, but you have to try. It won’t be an
    easy task, but just try.
    As we were talking, Emeka came in. He discovered that my
    face was all gloomy. “Guy wetin dey do you naw?” Emeka
    asked. Mayowa explained the whole thing to him. You know
    Emeka by now, the crazy guy himself. “Oh boy, your mata
    bad gan o. So that Moji wey u wan die on top don get
    boyfriend? Aah you don throw banana give monkey. You
    don dash the girl out to Canada bobo. Wait self, shey u think
    say she go love you? How much you get self? You don buy
    her water before? You buy Brazilian hair? You con dey talk
    say she go love you? If she love you make I know why.”
    Emeka made matters worse. Mayowa was already laughing,
    but I didn’t find it funny. Emeka just kept making jest of me.
    I didn’t even laugh, I was just there.
    I stood up, and dressed up for my 12 o’ clock class. I went to
    Anglomoz to meet Moji, so we could go to the class together.
    Moji was gisting me as we were going to the class, but I
    didn’t even care to listen. I was just going with her, and
    contributing the little way I could. We got to the class, it was
    a Botany class. I just sat, and I was just quiet.
    After an hour, the lecture finished. I thought about what
    Emeka said, and I decided to act on it. I took 200 Naira,
    bought two cold ‘viju-milk’. One for me one for her. “You
    must have been really sapped, I got this for you.” I said,
    handing her the viju-milk. “Awwwwwwwn, you are so sweet.
    Thank you so much”. She said, collecting the drink. It was
    then it occurred to me that I haven’t bought anything for her
    since we met. I was really happy that she called me “sweet” I
    decided that I would do anything to impress her.
    We sat in a quiet place, as we waited for our next class which
    was 2pm. That was Sociology class. As we were seated my
    phone received a new text. Behold it was Sandra. “What is
    the message all about?” I asked myself. But I couldn’t even
    guess right. So I opened the message. The contents really
    disorganised me. They were. “Hey dude, congrats. You are
    gonna be a father. Cause I’m pregnant for you, and I’m
    keeping it.” . . .

    Episode 37

    “No this can’t be. It just can’t be. What have I done? This is a
    big mess.” I said it out loud that Moji heard me. “She took
    the phone from me, and read the message. “That’s Sandra
    right?” Moji asked me smiling. “Yes, that’s Sandra, and
    besides this isn’t funny. Why exactly is that smile on your
    face?” I was really nervous as I asked her the question. “I
    knew she was going to do this”. Moji said with so much
    assertiveness. “I don’t really get what you are saying. I really
    don’t understand it.” I said to her. . .
    Moji: Number one, that girl is a s--t, she has been in this
    game for too long already. She can only get pregnant if she
    wants to. If she is really pregnant, it will affect her studies
    more than it will affect yours. So it won’t be wise of her to
    get pregnant, and I doubt that she would. Number two, she
    doesn’t want you to go, she wants to keep you to herself,
    which means that she will do anything possible to hold you
    to herself.
    Me: So you think she is lying?
    Moji: I don’t think she is lying, I know she is lying.
    Me: What if we think she is lying, and it turns out that she is
    telling the truth?
    Moji: That is why we need to take the next step.
    Me: The next step?
    Moji: Yes, we have to prove that she is lying. I will take my
    phone and search for tips on pregnancy. Then you go ahead
    and investigate.
    Me: She might be telling . . .
    Moji: (cuts in) Are you ready to be a dad? If you are, tell me
    so I can quit trying to help you. And if you are not, man up,
    and let’s prove that idiot wrong.
    Me: (fear was written all over me) seriously, I don’t know
    what to do, I don’t know what my mum will do if she finds
    out about this.
    Moji: But Dapo, what came over you, how come you had
    unprotected s-x with a girl like that? You could have
    contacted an STD in the process. You need to go for check up
    after sorting all this out.
    Me: I won’t have STD in Jesus name. Moji, don’t wish me evil.
    Moji: (Lowering her voice) God sees my heart that I want the
    best for you. I just want you to know in case you have a
    problem.
    Me: Alright, let us solve this first before we even think of
    that. . .
    It was time for sociology class. The man said some things
    about teenage pregnancy. What a coincidence that was. I
    looked at Moji’s face to see her reaction. She didn’t even
    look at me. Her eyes were so glued to the lecturer. We
    finished the lecture, and went back to the hostel.
    When I got to the room, That was around 3:30pm, Everyone
    was in the room except Abdul and Matthew. Those two guys
    are always reading like bookworms. As Emeka will always
    tell them “Una wan carry first?” That means that University is
    not about being the best student overall, it’s about having
    good grades and graduating. That is just Emeka’s opinion
    anyway.
    At first, when I saw Emeka and Olu in the room, I didn’t want
    to talk about my issue with Sandra. But since those guys are
    older and more experienced than me as far as the issue on
    ground is concerned, I decided to seek their opinion. . .
    Me: Guys, please I have a problem and I really need your
    advice. I don’t know what to do.
    Emeka: Watin dey do you self, you go just dey blow
    grammar like say na house of rep we dey.
    Olu: Leave am, make hin dey show hinself.
    Mayowa: Make una hear wetin hin wan talk naw, dis one
    wey hin call meeting like say hin wan share will.
    Me: Guys, this is serious.
    Emeka: I no fit see rious pass the one wey I don see. Na the
    problem wey you get make u tell me. Make I help you use
    elderly man eye look am.
    Me: Sandra texted me yesterday that she is pregnant.
    Emeka: Na which kind talk be that one, if u wan turn basket
    mouth wey dey crack joke, shey na this kind thing den dey
    use do comedy? Guy abeg if na joke stop am.
    Olu: If I hear say that girl get belle, girl wey don know her
    way already. As you dey do her, she know wetin she go
    chop, wetin she go drink wey go make belle run.
    Mayowa: Wait self, that girl no look like person wey dey do
    just one guy. When you slept with her, was she a virgin?
    Me: Of course not.
    Emeka: If that girl be virgin, it mean say my grandma self na
    virgin. See my guy, no fear. That girl no fit get belle. The way
    una dey talk am self, she no look like person wey get womb.
    Your tin don sweet am for body, she no wan make u go. Na
    why she dey lie that lie. Na so one girl do me for my area,
    wey dey lie give me say she get belle. Na later I discover say
    1 year don pass she no born. I con see say her belle self no
    change. Just thank your star say this one no need your
    money. She for use am collect your money well well.
    Olu: Emeka, abeg joor, make we hear word. Na everything
    don do you before. Dapo (Facing me) The way me dey look
    am, dat girl no get belle o. She just wan spoil your life ni.
    And I no wan make you gree for am.
    Me: That is the same thing Moji said.
    Mayowa: Are you crazy? You told Moji that Sandra is
    pregnant?
    Me: It’s not like that, she kind of discovered by taking my
    phone to read the text.
    My roommates said the same thing Moji said. Sandra was
    just trying to tie me down. “Now I have some investigations
    to do with Moji. I need to uncover her lies. She has to lose
    this game once and for all”. I thought to myself. . .

    Episode 38

    I started investigating, alongside Moji. We searched for
    means through which we could prove her wrong, but there
    is no other means of actually confirming, than getting close
    to her. Moji wasn’t really comfortable with this idea. “Get
    close to her? No way! What if in that process, you get her
    really pregnant this time. I’m sorry, but it won’t be possible”.
    Moji protested. I didn’t really understand why Moji was
    acting that way. She had a boyfriend already, and she was
    being overly protective over me. “I can assure you, nothing
    will happen between us.” I said to Moji. “Promise me you
    won’t have anything to do with her.” Moji said to me. “I
    promise!” I answered her.
    Moji agreed that I go to Sandra, Sandra had rented an
    apartment already in town around an area called ‘Asherifa’.
    So I went to meet her in her house. Getting the truth from
    her won’t be a difficult task. After all, Sandra is a talkative. All
    I have to do is engage in a long discussion with her. It will
    only be a matter of time before she vomits the whole truth.
    When I got to her house, she was too pretty for someone
    who is really pregnant. At first that made me suspicious, but
    I just kept my calm and sat on a chair in her room. . .
    Sandra: I knew you will come. (Sending the message to me
    with a seductive smile)
    Me: Yes baby. I’m sorry I shouted at you the other day. It
    wasn’t my doing. I just got uncontrollably angry.
    Sandra: It’s all right. I know you didn’t mean all that. What do
    I offer you?
    Me: No I’m totally fine. (Thinking to myself) You think you
    can drug me?
    Sandra: So now that I’m pregnant for you, you need to come
    here often, so you can perform your duties as an expectant
    father.
    Me: And what are those duties?
    Sandra: You sleep with me regularly. In order to ensure safe
    delivery.
    Me: No, that’s not good for the baby. We shouldn’t do that.
    Sandra: But that’s what my doctor said.
    Me: Yes, I’ve been thinking that as the father of this baby, I
    need to have a discussion with that doctor of yours, you
    know I have to see him, so he can put me in line as regards
    things to do, and things not to do as far as our baby is
    concerned.
    Sandra: (stammering) ern ern ern no. Let’s just focus on
    oiling me. (Coming close to me)
    Me: (Restraining her) I’m not doing anything until I talk to
    the doctor, and he says that it is safe for the baby. The baby
    is not even up to two months. I don’t want anything to
    happen to my baby. Without a qualified doctors advice, I’m
    doing nothing.
    Sandra: I understand what you are saying but. . .
    Me: There are no. . . (I looked at my side, and saw a guys
    shirt) What is this Sandra?
    Sandra: (Being defensive) Its not Important it’s just. . . .
    Me: (Cuts in) It’s just what? I can’t believe you are cheating
    on me.
    Sandra: I swear to God I’m not. It’s just a neighbour that
    came here to rest yesterday. We are quite close. I swear
    nothing is between us. (trying to convince me)
    Me: How can I be so sure that you guys didn’t have s-x
    yesterday?
    Sandra: We couldn’t have had s-x, because yesterday I was
    on my period.
    Me: Alright. Alright. Alright I believe you.
    I stayed there for some hours, she pressurized me to sleep
    with her, but I didn’t fall for it this time. The promise I made
    to Moji kept me going. I was so in control, as I had made a
    firm decision not to do a thing with Sandra. “I think I have to
    go now, I will see you later.” I said to her. Though her face
    was gloomy, but I didn’t look at that for a second as I have
    my own life to live. I left the place, and immediately I
    entered campus, I gave Moji a call. Moji came to see me and
    we started talking at Anglomoz. . .
    Moji: How did it go?
    Me: I didn’t find anything. But the girl is a s--t, I found a guys
    shirt in her house. She told me she didn’t have s-x with him,
    because the guy came yesterday, and she was on her period
    then. She wanted me to have. . .
    Moji: (Cuts in) Wait, what did you just say?
    Me: She wanted me to have s-x. . .
    Moji: (Cuts in again) No, not that, she was on her what?
    Me: On her period.
    Moji: I knew it!!!
    Me: What’s that?
    Moji: Women don’t menstruate, when they are pregnant.
    This can only mean that she is lying about one of the two. It’s
    either she is lying about her pregnancy, or lying about
    sleeping with the guy with the shirt. Either way, we will use it
    to our advantage. You will have to go there again, and tell
    her you have phobia for pregnant women, and that’s why
    you can’t have s-x with her. Just act the whole drama well,
    and you will get the truth. . .
    To cut the long story short, some days later, I went to
    Sandra, I told her what Moji had taught me. “I really want to
    do this, but I have phobia for pregnant women. I’m just here
    talking to you because of the love I have for you.’ I said to
    her.”Seriously? Owk, Dapo there is something I want to tell
    you.” She said. “Okay, I’m all ears”. I answered. “Promise me
    that you will stick to me, and give me what I want if I tell you
    the truth”. She said. “Just tell me”. I answered. “Actually, I’m-
    I’m- I’m not really pregnant”. She said. I got really excited,
    but just kept playing along. “oh my God! I thought I was
    going to be a father. I can’t wait for you to be the mother of
    my children.” I said to her and planted a kiss on her lips to
    make her tell me more. “I know, but getting pregnant now
    will really affect our lives. Let’s just keep having fun. I can
    only get pregnant. If I want to”. She said, trying to draw me
    to herself. But I pushed her away to the bed. “You b-----d! I
    never want to see you again. I will pay you your money and
    it will be all over.” I got really angry. I stormed out of her
    room with mixed feelings. Anger/Relief was the feeling. I
    entered campus. Moji was already waiting at Anglomoz to
    hear the report. . . .

    Episode 39

    I told Moji about it, she wash really excited as she gave me
    the ‘I told you so’ look. “This calls for celebration.” Moji said
    to me. “There is no celebration please, don’t forget that we
    still have to pay Sandra a sum of hundred thousand Naira.” I
    replied her. “You see, money isn’t the problem, we can just
    go, grab something on Saturday.” Moji said. “Please Moji, can
    you just do me a favour?” I asked. “What favour is that?” She
    asked. ” Would you please just allow me to sponsor this date?
    Oh! sorry outing!. I said to her. Moji looked at me smiling.
    “Don’t worry, let’s just call it a date. We haven’t really had
    time to ourselves these days. It’s been one problem or the
    other. So let’s just go to the movies or go swimming or grab
    some food. Whatever you have in mind, it’s all good, and you
    can sponsor it if you want to”. Moji said to me. My whole
    system became hyperactive, as I was really excited that Moji
    accepted our outing as the date that it really was. “That will
    be a good opportunity to express my feelings for her,
    irrespective of whether or not she has a boyfriend.” I
    thought to myself. We departed and I went to my hostel.
    My life had gotten ten times better, I was really gallant.
    People around me can’t help but notice it. I really could not
    wait to tell my roommates that Sandra’s pregnancy is not
    true. It was just her scheme to lure me into sleeping with her
    again. The best part of the whole stuff is the fact that Moji
    indirectly agreed to go on a date with me. I got to the room
    but nobody was in, because there was a football match that
    day between Barcelona and Real Madrid. I’m not much of a
    football fan. So I just stayed in the room, thinking of how to
    ask Moji out on our date.
    Some minutes later, the guys came in, shouting. What more
    can be expected of guys who just finished watching a match
    between two big teams. “Messi omo mi, oloun gbo. Ronaldo o
    le ba.” This actually means Ronaldo is no where near Messi. I
    really wanted to tell Emeka, Olu, and Mayowa about Sandra,
    and Moji. But there were too many people in our room, and
    they were making a hell of noise, arguing about Messi and
    Ronaldo. It was really noisy.
    After about two hours of the whole Messi/Ronaldo
    argument, the whole thing died down, and everyone went to
    their rooms. I was really glad that I finally had the chance to
    pour out my mind to my friends. It was really great. “Guys
    guess what?” I started the gist with the question. Mayowa,
    Emeka and Olu were there. . .
    Emeka: Wait self, why you like to dey do like girl. How you go
    dey tell us say make we guess? We be girls?
    Olu: Me I no fit guess, but I know say wetin you wan talk dey
    related to woman mata.
    Me: Number 1, Sandra is not pregnant, she confessed to me
    herself that she was just trying to tie me down.
    Emeka: You mean am? Shebi I tell you say that girl no get
    womb, it be like say I dey exaggerate. Shey una don see now?
    Mayowa: Omo God save you o. Just free dat girl, make she
    dey her own lane o
    Olu: The tin no even surprise me at all. Me don know before
    say na lie. Na number one be dat. Abeg, wetin be number
    two?
    Me: Moji has agreed to go on a date with me this Saturday.
    Mayowa: You asked her to go on a date with you?
    Me: Not exactly. She suggested that we should celebrate the
    fact that Sandra’s pregnancy isn’t true. I called it a date, and
    tried to take it back, but she didn’t see anything wrong with
    it.
    Emeka: No be dat girl wey get bobo for Canada?
    Me: Yes, that’s her.
    Olu: You wan go date with girl wey don get bobo already? You
    wan kill yourself abi?
    Me: It really doesn’t matter whether she has a boyfriend or
    not. I’m dying in silence. I plan to tell her what I fell for her,
    right there.
    Mayowa: What if she says no?
    Me: If she says no, I will forget about her, and I will never
    love anyone again. In fact, I will be a player for the rest of my
    life. Because I can’t love any lady, the way I love her.
    Emeka: Abeg, wetin this guy dey talk dey vex me. (He took a
    shirt and left the room).
    Olu: Wait self, why you dey tell us? (Referring to me)
    Me: I need your help please.
    Olu: What is that?
    Me: I told Moji that I want to sponsor the date, then she
    agreed. And you know my pocket. I know if I tell you, you will
    give me some money, so I can be alright financially.
    Olu: Na me koba you?
    Me: Olu abeg naw.
    Olu: I no get pass 2k o
    Me: 2k is really dope, I will just get another 2k from Mayowa.
    Mayowa: As I dey, na only 1k you fit see for my hand. 3k don
    do you naw, you wan carry her go Atlanta?
    Olu: Leave am. If 3k no do you, you no go anywhere again be
    dat.
    Me: Thanks so much guys.
    Mayowa: Make she say yes ni o, if she no say yes, you go
    return my money o. . . . (We all laughed, as I rehearsed
    different ways of telling her my feelings for her.)
    I became really gallant all through the week, I was really
    happy as I would finally have the chance to express my love.
    Somehow I was scared what the response will be, on the
    other hand, I was overly excited.
    Finally, Saturday came. . . .
    Finally, Saturday came. I had been thinking of what to do
    over the weekdays. I had decided to take her to a restaurant
    called ‘Indulge’ at ‘New Buka’. I was really glad. I wore a shirt,
    trouser and a bow tie. I looked really corporate. I had
    collected the three thousand Naira from my friends already.
    In order to look good, ‘pocket-wise’. I went straight to our
    meeting point (Anglomoz). It was around 6pm. There I saw
    Moji, wearing a purple-coloured gown that matched
    perfectly with her make-up. Her ear-rings were on point, and
    she looked stunning when I saw her. Her love gripped me, it
    was literarily killing me already. I just kept calm. “You look
    stunning!” I said to her. She accompanied her reply with a
    smile which was powerful enough to make me float to outer
    space. “Thanks!” She said. We walked to ‘new buka’. To the
    restaurant there called ‘indulge’. This is actually different
    from where I saw Mide the other day, this is a decent place
    for decent people. Just in the same area.
    When we got there, I ordered a plate of fried-rice, and
    chicken. With a ‘5-Alive’ drink and two glass. I was very glad
    that I was buying something for Moji. Though she has the
    money, and can pay all the bills. I really wanted to pay her
    bills so I can feel like the man. The food was really delicious,
    as we were teasing each other, feeding each other and
    having fun. The Moji I saw that day is really the one I love. I
    was so happy being around her. My life was really going well.
    We just enjoyed the meal as we were enjoying a movie on the
    TV in the restaurant. After two hours, everywhere had
    gotten dark. I really needed to tell Moji about my feelings. So
    that I wouldn’t die in silence. Moji and I left the restaurant,
    and went straight to Anglomoz to continue talking. Moji just
    kept talking about lots of stuffs I didn’t wish to hear about. I
    was just listening so I can show myself as a good listener.
    I knew the time was near to tell her about my feelings, but I
    got really scared and nervous. “What if she says NO?” I
    thought to myself. A part of me was telling me to say it,
    while the other was telling me not to. “Moji, there is
    something I have to tell you”. I said to her. “I’m all ears.” She
    answered. I got really nervous. I don’t know if it’s true, but I
    guess that’s how it feels when one wants to confess one’s
    feelings for someone he really cares about. Not considering
    how scared I was, I just let it out.
    “Moji, I understand that we’ve been just friends for a while
    now, in fact, I know that you see us as siblings. I know that
    you have a boyfriend. I also know that you adore him. I know
    that I’m not rich. I know that compared to your boyfriend,
    I’m not handsome. I know that I’m just in part one with you.
    I know that your boyfriend has his masters already. I know
    that what I’m about to say might surprise you. I know that
    you do not expect such from me. But above all, one thing I
    know is that, I’m in love with you. I’m literarily dying in
    silence. I don’t know whether you have to break up with your
    boyfriend? I don’t know whether you have to double date? In
    fact, I don’t think I can share you with anybody. Please Moji (I
    went on my knees, without caring whether or not people
    were looking at me) Just give me a chance. All you’ve done is
    to be kind to me. Moji, what more can I ask for. You are
    beautiful, kind and intelligent. I can’t afford to be like your
    brother, it hurts me whenever you call me that. I want you
    to be mine forever, in fact, we will surely get married. You will
    never be my ex. You are the first woman in my life I’m telling
    this, please make my love story complete.” I finished my
    speech on my knees. Moji stood and was looking at me. She
    was really moved to tears. She came closer to me, asked me
    to stand up.
    She opened her mouth to talk, and what came out surprised
    me. “Do you think you have anything that can make me have
    feelings for you?”. . .She asked
    My lips were
    shaking as I was really disappointed. I wanted to answer her
    question, but she told me not to. “Please, you don’t have to
    answer that question. You’ve said it all already.” I kept calm
    and listened to her. My feet were shaking in disappointment.
    She continued. . .
    “Dapo, you know what? I have no reason to love you, it’s not
    that you are rich or special. There are so many guys that are
    better than you on this campus. You rarely buy things for
    me, not until recently that you just changed. But you know
    what? I have always chosen you. It has always been you.” She
    said. I didn’t really understand what she was saying, so I just
    listened to her. She continued “Since the first time I saw you,
    I’ve loved you. But what did you do? You took me for granted,
    and was fooling around with some s--t. Anyway, I’m glad the
    whole thing is over. Do you know how long I’ve waited for you
    to tell me this? As you have said, you most likely do not have
    anything that can make me love you. But the truth is; if I love
    you because of your money, if you stop being rich, I will stop
    loving you. If I love you because of something that fades,
    when that thing leaves I will stop. Dapo, I have discovered
    that I can’t stop loving you. At some point, I tried to stay
    away from you, but it almost killed me. I can’t just stop, I
    can’t just stop, I can’t just stop. . .” She kept repeating the
    same thing, this time, she couldn’t control her tears. They
    just started coming out uncontrollably.
    It’s like I was dreaming. So Moji had always loved me. How
    come I didn’t see it, how come I didn’t know it. If I had known
    that she has feelings for me, even if I didn’t love her, I would
    have asked her out. I was really confused. I didn’t know
    whether to hug her in excitement, or apologize for talking so
    late. “Is that a yes?” I asked her. “I don’t know whether it’s a
    ‘YES’ or a ‘NO’, but I do know that I want to be yours forever,
    and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” She said to
    me. This time around, I had lost control, I was really excited
    that I hugged her so tight, as we both started crying as if
    someone just died. It was really epic. It was really eventful. I
    got a ‘YES’ at last. Apart from the day I gained admission into
    OAU, the day I gained admission into Moji’s life is the second
    happiest day of my life. We finished all the emotional display,
    and we said goodbye as late as 11pm. We didn’t want to leave
    each other but someone had to take the bold step. It never
    occurred to me to ask about her boyfriend harry. I just went
    to my room overly joyous.
    I slept like a king, and dreamt of Moji. What more could I
    have dreamt of. I woke up on Sunday morning. Well, that is
    our free day since Matthew is the only one that goes to
    church in the whole room. Abdul was not in the room, since
    Sunday was his special reading-day. I told my roommates
    about the improvement. They were really happy. I used the
    change from the date to buy them drinks. We were flexing
    happily. “Omo, I happy say that girl love you back o, you for
    kill yourself”. Emeka said to me. As we were talking, a
    message came into my phone, it was Moji. I read it, and it
    the contents were: “Harry is just my cousin in Canada. I’m all
    yours dear. I love you so much.” I got overly excited, and
    showed my roommates. “I told you she likes you, you didn’t
    believe it”. Mayowa said. It was really a great day, as I
    announced officially to my roommates that I’m engaged.
    They laughed at me, but I was too excited to care about that.
    My life was going great, as I started dating Moji. We paid
    Sandra her money. Before we knew it, CHM test was around
    the corner. I really tried so hard to prepare for the test. We
    wrote the test on a Saturday. And two weeks later, the
    results were pasted. I know my Matric number, and Moji’s
    own too. The test was over-40 so I went to check My result
    and Moji’s. . . .

    Episode 40 (final)

    I was really surprised when i saw the result. I scored ’11’,
    while Moji had ’26’. That was the first test result. Moji has
    shown to be a guru by having the highest score in the
    department. The scores were bad generally, but 11 is rather
    on the extreme side. I went to my hostel really sad. I didn’t
    even know how I was going to face Moji. I wrote post utme
    thrice to gain admission, but then I failed chemistry test. I’m
    not really surprised that I failed the test, since I’ve only
    preoccupied myself with emotional issues from Aramide, to
    Sandra to Moji. I didn’t tell any of my roommates about my
    result since results are always confidential. I just kept calm,
    as I was deeply thinking about the whole thing. At first, I
    thought of breaking up with Moji, but I can’t just afford to do
    that.
    I saw Moji, she had seen the result already. “It’s fine dear”.
    Moji said to me. She really encouraged me. I just told Moji
    how weak I was academically, and Moji became another
    Aramide for me except for the prayer part. We started
    reading, preparing very hard for other tests and the exams. I
    really gained a lot from Moji. She taught me all the topics I
    found difficult in Chemistry and Physics. She taught me
    shortcuts of knowing the tough names in zoology. Moji and I
    were dating, quite alright, but all she did was to shield me
    and help me to become better academically. Aramide is
    totally gone, I see her sometimes, but we just wave at each
    other. As for Sandra, after I paid her money, she left me for
    good. I believe she got herself a new ‘machine’. Since there
    were more guys than girls in OAU. Moji was my ‘Aramide’,
    she became just like Aramide was then. In fact better than
    her.
    My relationship with my roommates suffered. I was always
    going to read. I was so scared, I didn’t want to carry any
    course. Moji is really brilliant, and as the Man, I needed to
    live up to expectations, by doing well academically also. I
    became sure of myself. I was really ready to face all the
    exams. To cut the long story short, we wrote all the Exams
    and we were expecting results. The results came and it was
    as expected. Except for Chemistry and Physics, where I had
    53C and 55C respectively, all other subjects were A’s and B’s.
    My result was quite good to me, but it’s nowhere near my
    Moji’s result that has A’s except a ‘B’ in Zoology where she
    had a C.
    It was Part two. Moji and I rented two different apartments
    in town. (Don’t bother to ask who paid). It was in the same
    area. My place was just a stone throw from hers. We were
    always visiting each other regularly. There was a day she
    came to my place, I kissed her, then I tried to touch her. She
    refused. “Not until after our wedding”. She said. I quickly
    apologised to her and promised never to try such again. To
    be sincere, at that point, I kind of missed Sandra. It really
    made me stronger. I was once a weak-willed person, but
    dating Moji made me have a stronger will.
    Moji is a Christian too, she goes to church only on Sundays, I
    decided to join her. We started going to her church. We
    made church ‘Sunday-Sunday-Tablet’. And our lives were
    going great. My academic life was going smoothly. I studied
    really hard. Although, Moji is always having better grades
    than me. I did all these for the remaining three years.
    Soon, Moji and I defended our projects and graduated. Moji
    was one of the three people that graduated with a first class
    in our department, and had the second best GP. I just
    maintained my ‘2.1’ (Second class upper) honours. Luckily
    for us, we were both posted to Lagos for service.
    My mum was really happy. She blessed me, and you know,
    what else can be expected of her than the ‘get a job and get
    a wife’ speech. “You know what, my son. You are in a very
    delicate part of your life. There is something I’ve always
    wanted to tell you, but I knew it wasn’t time yet. But now,
    you are old enough to understand me.” She said to me.
    “Alright mum. I answered her”. She started the talk. . . “Before you
    react to what I’m about to tell you, think about what I’ve
    done for you so far.” I didn’t understand what she was
    saying so I voiced out. “Mummy, I don’t understand what
    you are saying, but there is something I want you to know;
    there is nothing you can tell me that can change the way I
    see you. You’ve done a lot for me, and I appreciate all your
    efforts, no matter what I give you maami, I can’t pay you
    enough.” I said to her, pledging my allegiance. “Thank you
    my son, I’m glad that is coming from you. I should have told
    you this since you were much younger, but you were too
    young to conceive it.” She said. I became quite anxious to
    know what is so big that she had to use so much preamble.
    She continued. “When I married Ayo (That was the name of
    my father that died). We waited for so long, but we didn’t
    have a child. Then, the doctor tested him, and said that he
    was sterile. I love him so much, and I want to stay by him.
    So I suggested that I should find a man, get pregnant for
    him, and pay him off. So I met a man called ‘Akin’. Akin was
    my child hood friend. And started an affair with him. My
    husband pretended he knew nothing about it. After 2
    months of the affair, I discovered that I was pregnant. I
    stopped the affair, and the man left me for good. Since he
    knew the intention. Dapo, you are that son.” My eyes were
    filled with tears, they started rolling out. I couldn’t believe
    that I had been a b-----d all the while. The name ‘Dapo
    Omisakin’ is not actually my name. My mum continued.
    “Please my son, don’t cry, I can’t afford not having a son. If
    not that my husband died, I had thought I would never tell
    you this. But right now, I have to. You are old enough to
    know the truth.” She said to me.
    I was devastated, I was really sad. “Who will I tell my story,
    how will I explain it”. I said, crying. My mother was crying
    also. For the first time, I was really angry with my mother.
    “The only thing that can cause problem is if you don’t show
    me my real father. I said with so much rage. “My son, the
    man also died two years after your father died.” She
    answered. I saw uncertainty in her eyes, but I didn’t want to
    cause her tears. I knew it there and then that if I told her
    that she was lying, it will only make her sad. Making my
    mother sad was the last thing I wanted to do in life. So I just
    let it go.
    Moji and I served in Lagos. We spent almost a year, then we
    finished the service. The night before we were coming back
    to Ibadan, Moji came to my one room apartment, this time,
    I really could not control myself. I told her about it.
    Immediately after the youth service the next thing was to get
    a job and get married. Moji allowed me. “You have really
    tried,” she said. It was the first time with Moji, and Moji’s
    first time in life (She was a virgin). I was really surprised that
    she was a virgin, despite the fact that she came from a rich
    family. My respect for her stepped up, and I was so glad I
    had Moji in my life.
    We came back to Ibadan, and Moji’s dad helped me to get a
    Job in ‘Fuman’ juice company in Ibadan. My monthly salary
    was 80,000 Naira, and I was quite comfortable with it. I
    rented an apartment in Ibadan, and started living as a
    bachelor. My life was going great. One day, Moji came to me
    with a white envelope, as she looked quite sick to me. I
    asked her. “what is wrong with you, why is your face like
    this.” I said to her. “I was feeing symptoms in my body, so I
    went to the hospital for checkup. They told me I’m six weeks
    pregnant.” She answered. . .I took the envelope from her, and checked the contents.
    Pregnancy test was positive. Moji felt somehow about the
    pregnancy. But as for me, I was really excited. Moji is the
    one I want to spend the rest of my life with, so there is no
    issue if she gets pregnant for me. “Moji, there is no problem,
    Okay? My mum will come and see your parents, and we will
    plan our wedding. We should do it as soon as possible,
    before you become heavy.” I encouraged her. Moji was as
    happy as I was. We hugged each other. “Finally I’m going to
    marry the woman of my dreams”. . .
    I got home, and told my mum about the pregnancy. She
    wasn’t really happy about it, but she didn’t talk much since
    I’m no longer a child. Moji told her parents too, and a date
    was picked for the introduction.
    The day finally came, my mum, and few of my mum’s
    extended family members went with us to Oluyole. Moji’s
    Father’s house was an Edifice. It was a large impressive
    building. My family members kept looking around in
    surprise. The man is so rich.
    We sat down, some people were already there, waiting for
    to come and attend to us. Moji’s mother was the first to
    come. She greeted everybody and went back inside. Moji
    came out to see me. Her make up artiste had done a really
    good job. Moji looked just like the angel that she is.
    The event was going to start, then Moji’s Father came out.
    “Akin!!!” My mum shouted. Everyone was looking at my mum
    in surprise, including me. “Cecilia!!!” Moji’s father called my
    mum’s middle name. I was really surprised that they know
    each other so well. “This marriage can never happen!” My
    mum shouted. I thought my mum had gone insane. She
    faced Moji’s father. “Akin, you remember that pregnancy,
    here is the boy!”. Pointing at me. It was then I remembered
    the story my mum told me. “But she told me Akin was dead”.
    She had lied to me. It was then it occurred to me, that Moji’s
    father is also my father, and that Moji is my half-sister.
    “Cecilia, you mean one of my children impregnated another,
    and they are about to get married? I’m doomed. Where in
    the world is that done? This marriage cannot happen.” Moji’s
    father (my father) said.
    Moji had been hearing the whole conversation. She came
    out, covered in sweats. Her eyes filled with tears. “You mean
    Dapo is my brother, and I’m carrying his baby?” Nobody
    could alter a word. The situation was really critical. I was
    crying bitterly where I was. Whether culture allows it or not,
    I had determined that I was going to marry Moji.
    Moji’s mum was crying too. She knew the time was not a
    good time to blame anybody. She was just crying. One of my
    family members shouted “Eemo re o”. Which means “This is
    strange.”
    Moji ran into her room, her mum ran after her then I
    followed. “Moji! Moji! Moji!” We were all shouting her name.
    She didn’t answer us, she entered the room and locked the
    door behind her. “Moji please open this door! Moji I love
    you. Moji, nothing can come between us. Please just open
    this door. I promise to take full responsibility for our child.
    Please open this door”. All my efforts to plead with Moji
    were in vain. People came to the door, as they pleaded with
    her. Her mum had completely lost control.
    We had no choice than to break the door. Some men took a
    rod and after trying several times, the door finally got
    opened. When we opened the door, we saw Moji’s body
    lifeless on the floor with a knife in her stomach. She had
    stabbed herself. She committed suicide. When I saw the
    body, that was the last thing I could remember.
    I opened my eyes then I saw my mum and her brother
    beside me, I was in a hospital. My mum held my hands and
    said to me “I’m sorry Dapo, Moji died, and the baby couldn’t
    have survived it. I cried bitterly. I can remember vividly how
    we were like brothers and sisters back then in school. I
    remember vividly how she used to say that we are like
    siblings and I hated it whenever she said that. “So Moji and I
    are really siblings, now I have lost the love of my life. Oh
    death! Where are thy strings! I just want to die. Please help
    me tell the doctors to kill me.” I shouted so loud. My mum
    was just pleading with me to calm down and forget about
    the whole case.
    Four weeks later, my mum also died of high blood pressure.
    I decided never to love anyone again. And up till now that
    I’m writing this, I am just alone. My Moji is dead. My mum is
    gone. All I have is a father that showed up late in my life. He
    is even the last person I want to see. The best times of my
    life where the times I spent with Moji, but it later brought
    me pain. At first, I was really happy and my life was going
    great, but now it resulted in bitterness. It all became  A
    PAINFUL PLEASURE. . .
    *******THE END*******

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